…women takes longer to say less than practically anybody…
Monroe D. Underwood
It turned out there was a man watching Candi Yakozi.
She told me she couldn’t understand why.
I could understand why.
What I couldn’t understand was why she couldn’t understand why.
I didn’t go into it.
Candi Yakozi told me she was married.
She told me she hadn’t seen her husband in several months.
She told me he was in Montana or Arkansas.
She said I’m not sure which.
She said they are so close together and all.
I said well that’s geography for you.
Candi Yakozi scowled a perplexed scowl.
She said yes.
I said so tell me about the man who is watching you.
She said well it’s always when it’s dark outside.
She said like at night and things.
She said he walks up and down across the street.
She said every so often a guy in a car stops to talk with him.
I said what kind of car is it?
She said oh it is sort of big and black.
She said like in the gangster movies.
I said I will make a note of that.
I made a note of that.
I said what does he look like?
She said who?
She thought about it.
She said oh him.
She said he is medium-sized and he smokes cigarettes.
I said ah ha.
I said why haven’t you called the cops?
She said I have more confidence in private detectives.
She said besides they are so sexy.
She said I know because I read a lot of private detective stories.
She said what do you read?
I said mostly letters from collection agencies.
I said those and Eagles magazine.
She said what is Eagles magazine?
I said it’s a magazine about World War I aviators.
She said are World War I aviators as sexy as private detectives?
I said not recently.
I said tell me about this man.
Candi Yakozi stood up and stretched.
She walked to the window.
She said there is a sparrow on your window ledge.
I said I know.
I said he follows me around.
She said what’s his name?
I shrugged.
I said Winston probably.
She said why Winston?
I shrugged.
I said I got to call him something.
I said why don’t you sit down?
Candi Yakozi sat down.
She said I get like all cramped up while sitting down.
She said you see I prefer lying down to sitting down.
I said I see.
She said as a matter of fact I prefer lying down to standing up.
She said do you like lying down?
I shrugged.
I said oh it’ll do.
I said about the man.
She said he was there again last night.
She said that’s when I called Betsy.
She said that will be all you need to know.
I said yes that wraps it up.
I said with this wealth of information I should have him on the gallows by dawn.
Candi Yakozi said I don’t believe in capital punishment.
She said I don’t believe in religion either.
She said or bullfighting.
She said what don’t you believe in?
I shrugged.
I said just about everything.
I said what do you want me to do about the man?
She said just chase him away or something.
She gave me her address and her telephone number and seventy-five dollars.
She said can you start tonight?
I shrugged.
I said if I do I’ll have to postpone a big blackmail case.