…you show me a man what gets along with everybody and I’ll show you a man what don’t got a friend on earth…
Monroe D. Underwood
I hiked down to the end of the alley and up to the corner.
He was standing under a streetlight.
He was medium-sized.
He was smoking a cigarette.
I walked up to him.
He was a swarthy man with hot beady black eyes and a colossal hawklike nose.
A crooked white scar ran down his cheek and found sanctuary in a bristling walrus moustache.
He looked me over.
He blew smoke in my face.
He said hey whattsamatta you?
I said just what is your purpose in strolling up and down in front of that building on the other side of the street?
He said well inna firsta place amma notta strolla uppa downa fronta building other side street.
He said amma strolla uppa downa fronta building thissa side street.
He said hey if wanna strolla uppa downa fronta building other side street firsta thing do is crossa street.
He said thinka over onna way home.
He sneered.
He flipped his cigarette butt at me.
It hit my shoulder.
There was a shower of sparks.
He said okay kid?
I shrugged.
I brushed the ashes from my coat.
I said permit me to make a rather timely suggestion.
I said it is my rather timely suggestion that you get your ass out of this neighborhood before I kick it up around your ears.
He put his hand on his hips.
He spat on the sidewalk.
He said well amma greaseaballa sonnabitch.
I said that’s the most sense you’ve made so far.
He gave no warning.
He just cut loose with a whistling haymaker.
I ducked.
I could hear a car approaching.
He swung again.
This time he came close.
I pawed at him with my left.
I heard the car squeal to a stop.
He had circled away from me.
My back was to the street.
He smiled knowingly.
I heard the car door slam.
He had help on the way.
I landed an overhand right that drove him into a big clump of Japanese yews next door.
Somebody grabbed my shoulder.
I spun free.
I blasted the new guy with a roundhouse left that draped him over the hood of his car.
It was a big black car.
Like in the gangster movies.
The cops came.