34

…any old time you see a man what is ahead of a woman you just got to figure he is already a couple laps behind…

Monroe D. Underwood

I woke up somewhere around noon.

I had the granddaddy of all the headaches in history.

Betsy was hanging my blue sports coat in the closet.

I said I thought I was wearing my brown sports coat.

Betsy said you were.

I said but that is my blue sports coat.

I said I believe an explanation is in order.

Betsy said I took your keys and picked up your clothing.

She said Wallace will bring the rest of your things this afternoon.

She said including your wallet and the shoe you left in his tavern.

I said he better be careful with my recording of Alte Kameraden.

I said recordings of Alte Kameraden don’t grow on trees.

I said I hope you didn’t lose anything.

Betsy said nothing but a little black book.

I groaned.

I said how did that happen?

Betsy said it fell into the toilet.

I said by accident of course.

Betsy said of course.

I said and then somebody flushed the toilet.

Betsy said how did you know that?

I said I’m a detective.

Betsy said would you believe it took four times to make all those little pieces go down?

I said where the hell is my automobile?

Betsy said it’s right in front of the building.

I said let me guess what building.

I said the Wrigley Building.

Betsy said Chance your car is right here.

She said you can see it from the window.

I said how did you bring that off?

Betsy said I took a cab to your car.

She said can you figure it from there?

I said you are a diabolically clever female.

Betsy said oh sweetheart if you only knew.

I said is there a sparrow on the window ledge?

Betsy said yes.

I said that’s Winston.

I went back to sleep.