Chapter 16
25th December, 1812
It wasn’t until after the Christmas service that Anna realized the duke had left. All throughout the night, she had endeavored not to think about either the Duke of Barnet or the Earl of Pershore. Life was not always about love and romance and kisses, whether freely given or stolen. Not all were as fortunate as she was, and visiting the orphanage hammered that point home rather clearly.
But the service left her in such bright spirits that, although she hoped the duke would one day find happiness in the arms of the lady meant for him, she wanted to see no one other than Jasper.
Before dinner started, she returned to her room to freshen up, and the moment she left her room again, she spied Jasper. He met her gaze, a slight curl to his lips.
She blushed as he approached her.
“You look lovely. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas,” she murmured. “My mother and father arrived late last night and will be here for dinner. Did I see your mother at church?”
“You did. My parents are both here.” He held out his arm. “If you are ready, I’ll escort you to—”
She laid her hand on his arm. “A moment please.” Anna swallowed hard. “Perhaps today isn’t the day for this, but, Jasper, I really do wish to know what happened—”
He grimaced. “You are quite right. Not today.”
“One day, though?” she persisted.
Jasper said not a word.
Anna tried not to let her hopes be dashed, but she could not help it. She feared she did not mean as much to him as he did to her if he would not share what event had hurt him so in his past.
Oh, how I hope I am wrong about that!
27th December, 1812
The rest of Christmas Day was a lovely affair. At the start of the meal, Anna seemed a little subdued, but as the meal progressed, she smiled and laughed and was of great cheer, and Jasper found himself watching her more than talking with her. She was so kind to everyone, always paying out compliments and obviously not seeking one back in return. Her kind spirit drew him to her even more than her beauty, and he knew then that he could share everything with her.
He hadn’t the chance on Boxing Day, what with the visits to the orphanage, but on the next day, he sought her out and found her in a surprisingly empty room, sitting on a rug curled up in front of a roaring fire. The glow of the flames gave her a halo, and she looked so like an angel that he had to creep forward, lower the book from her hands, and kiss her.
Laughing softly, she pushed him away. “Don’t you think that you might not do such things when others could see?”
“I think you make me forget to think.” He held her hands and sat beside her. “I did not want to spoil the holiday with such talk, but now… now I would like to tell you a story of my own, if you are willing to hear it.”
“Does this story have anything to do with a certain dashing Earl of Pershore by any chance?” she asked with a twinkle in her eye.
“Indeed it does. You see, I fancied myself in love once before, and the lady in question claimed to return my affections. She seemed ever so delighted to marry me, and we settled down to make all the arrangements, and papers were signed, the license procured… But the moment she caught the attention of a duke, she broke off our engagement. This all happened in Sweden, while I had been there with my family, and, well, it made me want to avoid all people, especially once I realized that she was pregnant by the duke before I even learned she preferred him to me.”
“Oh, Jasper.” She clasped his hands all the tighter. “I’m sorry—”
He shook his head to still her words. “That is not the worst of it. She spread terrible lies about me, claimed I had dalliances with multiples ladies while engaged to her, which wasn’t true, but it was when she said that I had struck her—I would never hit a lady!—that she was able to turn even my friends against me. Few believed my side of the tale, and even fewer realize how much lies and gossip can cut a person down, strip them to the bone.”
“Why would she do such a thing?”
“From one of my loyal friends, I heard gossip—so who knows if this is true—but supposedly she had been involved with another man behind the duke’s back, and he was the one to hit her.”
“So she said it was you to try to keep the duke.”
“Exactly so. Then we returned to England, and I’ve found it near impossible to let others in, even those I used to be friends with, but you, with your tendency to speak your mind and to over-share, well, you cannot seem to keep a secret from me. And even if you could, I still would trust you.”
“Trust me with what?” she whispered, looking up at him through lowered lashes.
“Why, with my heart of course.” And he kissed her again.
She giggled. “Kisses at Christmas…”
“And every day of the year,” he promised.
Perhaps Christmas kisses were the best kind of all.