Altris
There’s a gnawing at my heart, a nameless dread that hovers at my lips. I reach up and rub my breastbone, desperate to make it go away, but it’s still there. I feel it in the bond, a discordance, an unknown fear. Karis mentioned that there was bound to be gossip during cleansing. Perhaps she’s telling the other omegas what a horrible Alpha I am.
Walking over to her destroyed nest, I hunch down, running my fingers over the coated fabric. I’ve messed up so badly that I don’t even know where to start repairing things, and if the pain I’m feeling is this bad, then she must think even worse of me than I originally thought.
I close my eyes and follow the line of staticky pops and sizzles of our mangled bond, desperate to see if she’s okay, but I can’t tell. I can’t figure anything out. It’s moments like these that I detest the High Echelon even more. With the way they groomed us, prepared us, were we never expected to ever take a mate?
We helped guard their precious omegas, yet we were told so little about them. At least I was. Somehow, Leon knows so much, and I know next to nothing. Did he excel at something that I didn’t? Is that why they didn’t hold him to the same rigorous standards as me?
Was there something in my blood, my tests, my actions that told them I wasn’t worthy of a mate, let alone an omega? True, I helped to overthrow their corrupt government, but I wasn’t always like that. At the start of things, when I was still bright-eyed and delusional, I clung to every word that dripped from their lips.
I took what they said to me deep inside, as if they were words from the gods themselves. Yet never did they prepare me for this. Never did they ever say anything about the bond and how it’s supposed to feel or even work. I literally have no files in my brain that I can pull from, and, though Leon seems to know a lot, to my knowledge, he hasn’t been with an omega either. I know for damn sure he hasn’t claimed one or been claimed.
That leaves me with so few people I can talk to. The Alphas in my company are unmated, and the betas can’t mate. I could possibly wait to talk to Jaxxon when we return, but I’m sure it would be awkward for him to talk about this with me as both my king and her brother-in-law. Either way, the sooner we get back to Stanlion, the sooner I’ll be able to breathe better.
I will be back in my element and not so off kilter. Rising from the nest, I attempt to put the shattered pieces back together, hoping to surprise her with my feeble tries. But it doesn’t work. My hands are far too large and clumsy for this delicate work, and I now understand why it falls to the omega.
If it were my nest, it would be hulking and ugly, not comforting and perfect like hers. Still, I don’t want her to come back to this mess. If I can make it at least a little better, that might be a step in the right direction. Gods. If only she was a battle. I know how to do war. I know how to strategize for the optimal outcome, but I’m so lost in navigating the waters of this new relationship.
It doesn’t help that we don’t know each other at all. Perhaps that will ease things over too. If I open up about myself, show her I can be vulnerable, she’ll let her guard down as well.
My lips turn down as I stare at the mass of linens, the fabrics all twisted and haphazard. Even when I lay down in it, it doesn’t feel right. It’s not comfortable or inviting… it’s not hers.
Again, the niggle of unease trips down my spine as I look towards the tent doors, waiting for Karis to burst through with the two other omegas in tow. But she never appears. Glancing down at the communicator in my suit, I note the time as the uneasiness grows.
I told Alexi an hour max, and it’s creeping close to that time. Should I go find her and bring her back? The last thing I want to do is embarrass Karis in front of her friends, but something is wrong. I need her back at my side now.
Just as I reach out to part the tent, an alarm shrieks from my communicator, drawing my worried glance. A sandstorm. A big one. Fear gnaws at my gut as I fling open the tent and storm outside. Not even bothering to look for the girls yet, I go over to Leon’s tent, catching him just as he comes outside.
“Have you seen Karis or the other omegas?”
“No.” His eyes collide with mine just moments before we look over at the horizon.
The storm will be on top of us in ten minutes, at least. Barely enough time to get everyone situated and safe. Leon and I split ways, both of us barking orders. Luckily, the men with us are used to falling in line, obeying orders without a second thought. It means I don’t have to babysit them while looking for Karis.
Jogging down to the water, I look up and down the stream, figuring they’ll be on the edges of the camp. That way, no other males can look upon their nakedness. I squint into the dying suns, my heart beating so hard in my chest I’m surprised it isn’t bursting through. But then, I see them.
They’re not so far away as to be in danger, but they’re much further than I would like. I race towards them, my heart sinking when the blurs split into individual figures. There are only two of them in the water. Does this mean that one is drying off?
“Cover yourselves,” I yell out, coming up on them.
The two in the water aren’t Karis. Where is she? Where is my mate? The bond is a writhing mass of anxiety, but it tells me nothing. Storming over to Alexi, I haul her out of the water, not giving two shits that she’s naked. Her body does nothing for me.
“Where is Karis?”
“My Lord Alpha,” she intones. “Is she not in the tent with you? That’s where she said she was going.”
Reaching out, I grip her arms and shake her, growling in earnest as she stands there like a statue, unmovable, unbreakable. “No,” I roar, not tempering myself in the slightest. “She is not in the tent. There is a massive sandstorm coming, and I need to get all of you safely inside.”
The other omega, the docile one, stares up at me, her eyes wide with fear. Tossing Alexi away, I turn my attention to her. She’ll be the one to crack. I know it. “Talk to me,” I whisper, forcing a softness into my voice that isn’t there. Pausing, I look back, noting the massive wall of sand as it hurls towards us. “Please. I need to make her safe.”
Off to the side, Alexi snorts. “What, so you can cake her in your cum again? Beat her within an inch of her life?”
Red tinges my vision as I move from the omega to loom over Alexi. Grabbing her hair, I tip her head back so that she has no choice but to look at me. The defiance that shines through her eyes makes me want to break her, to bend her in my arms until she snaps in two.
But she’s not a soldier on the battlefield. Though she’s keeping me away from my mate, she’s not the enemy. To bloody my hands with someone so precious would be to anger all the gods at once, ensuring I will fail at ever getting Karis back.
“Please my Lord Alpha,” the soft voice behind me cries out. “Do not hurt her.”
Turning, I pin her with my furious gaze, smiling as she backs away from me. “Tell me where Karis is, and I’ll see that no permanent harm comes to her.”
Once more, I look to the skies, my insides twisting as the storm gets even closer. I am almost out of time. If they don’t tell me now, I stand a chance at losing Karis forever, and that’s not something I’m willing to do.
“Please. She ran. She -.”
“She mentioned going back to the commune,” Alexi interjects, her voice never wavering.
I look back down at her, horrified at her words. If she went back there, then she’s in the dead of the storm. However, with the bond vibrating in me like it is, she’s still very much alive.
She’s lying. The bitch omega is lying. Leon comes up to me, his face red from the exertion of getting everything bundled down. His thick face mask obscures him from the nose down, but I know Leon as well as I know the back of my hand. Tossing Alexi to him, I don’t wait to see if he’ll catch her. I turn to wrap my hand around the other omega’s arm, steadying myself for a fight, but she doesn’t as much as tug away from me.
Her eyes are wet, her face blotchy. Is she crying because she got caught or because their actions put Karis’s life in danger? Even Alexi looks back at the storm, her face ashen as she gnaws on her bottom lip, her fear stinking up the air.
“Which way did she go, omega?”
With a shaky hand, she points in the opposite direction of the commune. Just as I thought. Handing her over to Leon, I hold out my hand to him.
“I need your mask. Take them both and lock them up. They will stand trial in Stanlion.”
Alexi bursts into a flurry of movement as the other breaks down into the most ungodly sobs I’ve ever heard. Disgust rolls over me as they both go crazy in their own way. As if going to Stanlion is a worse option than leaving them out here in the sandstorm to fend for themselves. Granted, if Karis dies or is injured because of this, I don’t think I can guarantee their safe passage to the home city.
Without asking any questions, Leon hands me his mask. “Let me get them situated, and I’ll come with you.”
“No. I need to do this myself. There needs to be a leader in the camp at all times or another Alpha will try to take over, potentially causing more chaos and confusion. I’ll be back as soon as I can with my omega.”
I lack the confidence in my words. There’s a very real chance that I’ll never be able to hold her in my arms again, to tell her, even if it’s clumsy, how I feel about her. How she makes the suns rise in my soul. She’s a bright spot I never even dreamed I’d be able to have.
I destroy everything I touch.
Sorrow beats at me as I trudge through the sand, terror and agony warring inside my heart. I want to connect with her, to tell her it’s okay, that I’m coming to rescue her, but would it even help? Desperation claws at my brain as I stare out into the endless sea of sand.
Even her scent is too light to pick up. No doubt she’s using the water to hide herself. It’s a smart idea, but water won’t save her from a sandstorm. If only I knew how to manipulate the bond, to twist it to my use.
But it’s useless. I can’t see through her to know where she is. The only thing I can do is try to communicate with her. Closing my eyes, I touch the bond and grip it in my mind, ignoring the searing pain. Karis, my mate. Where are you? At my words, the bond twists some more, as if she’s fighting me. Why the fuck is she fighting?
Does she not know the danger she’s in? Please. You must find shelter. You are no match for this storm. Please. I need to find you. I need you to be safe and whole. Karis. My Karis. My mate. Please. Please help me find you.
The bond writhes some more, but this time, it feels like fear. What’s happening to her? Why can’t I do more, say more? The sand swirls about, obstructing my view. I claw at it, forcing my way through, but it’s too much. Without visual markers, I’ll just be walking in circles.
Pulling the top of my uniform over my head, I zip myself inside and turn on the filtration system. Once the storm is over, I’ll set back out. I must find her. She’s my life, my world. Without Karis, it’s nothing but a boring, meaningless existence.