Karis
What have I done? I hear his words brushing against my mind like the very tips of feathers as they flap about. I’m so close to not believing him, to accusing him of making this up just to get me back, but the urgency in his tone gives me pause.
Looking back, I spot the storm, and my heart nearly stops. It’s not a lie. It’s not a ploy. He’s deadly serious. Does that mean those other things he said were real, too? Gripping the tunic around me, I reach out to the bond with a tentative touch, ready to pull back if it hurts again.
He actually thinks he loves me. A stranger, a woman he forced by his side. I want to give in to the longing in his voice, but I can’t. There’s no way I can go back when the storm is barreling down on top of me. And even if I did, there’s no way he wouldn’t punish me for my actions.
Desperate, I follow the link back, testing to see whether I can communicate back with him. What do I do?
I can’t run: it’s too close for that. I can’t hide: there are no shelters I can see.
Find a rock, a large dune, something. Cover yourself and tuck your head to your chest. Try to conserve your oxygen. The air will be riddled with dust and rocks. Go now.
Praise the gods; it worked. My eyes dart about, looking for anything that might work. As if by some miracle, there’s a large rock several feet away. If I can run fast enough, I just might make it.
Racing forward, I sink down into the sand, pulling the tunic up so that it covers my head before burrowing into the rock face, sending up desperate prayers to Ilaria, uttering promises I don’t know if I’ll even be able to keep.
I’m scared. The fact that I can admit that is a shock, even to me. Perhaps it’s because I’m so close to death that it doesn’t really seem to matter anymore.
You’re going to be fine, Karis. Just do as I say, and you will come out of this with only minor injuries or issues.
For just a moment, I let myself drown in the comfort of his bond. It’s as if he’s pouring strength and security into me from wherever he is. Is it too late to make amends? To start over? I reach out again, and he’s still there, radiating warmth. I want to apologize, to take back my rash actions, but for some reason, this doesn’t feel like the time or place.
No one wants death-bed confessionals. Pulling the tunic tighter around me, I curl in as much as I can. My shoulder screams as I pull it around to hug myself, but I have to survive. I have to tell Altris I was wrong and see if he’ll forgive me. That it takes a near-death experience to get me to see reason is testament enough to my stubbornness.
At least with Altris, I was safe. Perhaps we could work on the bond together. The amount of love he’s showing me thinks that it just might work. But we can’t make amends or move on if I’m dead. What worse, is if I die, what happens to Altris? What happens to the bond? Curses fly through my head as I realize just how much I didn’t pay attention in school. It will certainly be my undoing.
You will never have to find out what happens to me because you will not die. In truth, I’d be more worried about your ass when I do find you.
Humor curls through me at his idle threat. Not because he won’t take me to task, but because I’d probably enjoy it far too much for it to be punishment. Was I just imagining our earlier clash? Was it always possible for it to be enjoyable?
Don’t worry about that now. Just concentrate on being safe. We’ll sort everything else once I get you back.
Worry gnaws at my insides as I contemplate the heaviness of his words. But what if I can’t submit? What if I’m broken in that way?
You submitted just fine when your body was writhing under mine. We’ll figure out everything else when I have you wrapped up in my arms.
His voice is soft and sure, a strength I can latch onto. Now, more than ever, I want to be back at his side, seeing if we can in fact right these wrongs, or if it’s all just fear that’s making it seem plausible.
The howl of the storm hits me far before the pain. Even though my head is covered, it rips through the tunic, tearing at my skin, but I don’t dare cry out. Altris said to conserve my oxygen, and that means holding everything in.
The sand abrades my skin, ripping at me as it goes past. The pain in my shoulder intensifies as dirt and debris erode the skin and scabs around it, opening it back up to the elements. All the while, it’s Altris that calms me. He is a steady presence, a force that drives back the bulk of the pain and fear.
It hurts to have him treat me like this, knowing that I’ve done everything I can to destroy him. Tears sting at my eyes, adding just one more pain to the ever-growing wounds on my body. Once this passes, I’ll dip into the stream to wash everything out, but for now, all I can do is hope and pray.
Though it feels like an eternity, darkness circles around, threatening to pull me under. The force of the sand isn’t as harsh, but it’s still there, covering me, smothering me. Despite how much I claw at it, more pours in, surrounding my body and rock.
Turning my face, I find a small pocket, an opening in the surface that contains a bit of air. My brain feels foggy, fuzzy as I cling to the rock and Altris, hearing his impotent screams ringing in my ears before everything stops.
Pain slams into my body, flooding my system with both terror and endorphins. I still feel sand around me, so I don’t dare open my eyes, but soon, I find that I’m being dragged upward. My body is being pulled through the sand and up to the surface.
Despite the fact that Altris is yanking on the arm that contains his mark, I’ll forgive anything for having him rescue me. It’s my fault I’m in this mess, anyway. If only I wasn’t so stubborn, he wouldn’t have to come rescue me, adding yet another plus to his tally.
Warm hands brush me down, wiping the sand from my eyes and mouth until I feel safe enough to take in a full breath. Turning to my side, my body convulses as it tries to expel the dust lodged in my lungs. Altris saved me. I keep repeating that in my mind anytime the pain gets too much, and it sustains me.
Once my body is back under control, I turn, going on my back so I can look up at him. The glare of the sun distorts my view, but even then, he doesn’t look right. Something is off about the man that stands over me, staring down at me.
And then it clicks. Brennen. Startled, I go to move backwards, but he pins me, straddling my hips to hold me down with his weight. I try to push him off of me, but my movements are slow, feeble, as if my brain still isn’t quite working right.
He says words to me, things that I can’t even begin to comprehend, and I don’t want to. They’re lashed out at me in harsh, guttural tones. And then I understand. His fingers dig into my mark, drawing a scream from my throat. It’s raw, parched, and on fire, and yet, I still scream, hoping to alert Altris to where I am.
Before too long, Brennen stands and scans the horizon before bending low and scooping me up, tossing me over his shoulders. I lash out as best I can, the scene so eerily familiar to when Altris took me to his tent. It’s far too close for comfort.
I long to reach out on the bond, to tell Altris what’s happening, but my head is muddled. Everything is hot. My skin feels far too tight as heat radiates from my body, and it’s not the suns. I know what that feels like. This is woefully different. I only remember feeling like this a handful of times in my life, and each time, Annora was beside herself with how sick I was.
But now, looking at it with an adult mind, I know she was more worried about having to take me to the doctor. Doctors meant tests, questions, things she didn’t want to chance. But she nursed me through those times, and without any help that I’m aware of.
I curl my fingers into a fist and try to hit Brennen, but the movement is barely a brush of skin along his shirt. It does nothing. Again, I try to reach into the bond, but there’s barely a whisper. Am I too far away? I repeat Brennen’s name like a chant to the gods as he drapes me over the back of his horse and climbs on.
As it races through the desert, my heart lurches in my chest. How is he ever going to find me now? Please. Altris. Find me. Find Brennen. As my eyes slip closed once more, I keep praying to the gods, my lips moving with no sound. Hopefully, my pride isn’t what’s going to kill me.
Before I can black out, my body goes rigid, similar to the day I impaled myself on the stone phallus. As the visions race through my brain, it drags along my skull, making my head explode into pain. It’s not at all like that day. Though my visions were scary, they didn’t hurt. Not this much.
It’s as if I’m staring at a scene underwater. The images ripple with a murky presence that I can’t quite make out. Once more, I see Altris. His hands are covered in blood, but this time there’s more. So much more. Next to him is a man. I can’t tell who he is, but his body looks familiar. I’ve seen him before, but I can’t tell where.
Perhaps it’s someone I knew at Stanlion? It’s certainly not someone from the commune. The clothes are all wrong for that. This man leans over, his lips moving far too fast for me to catch what he’s saying, but Altris knows. Altris hears every word. My heart thumps out of control as Altris lifts his head to face me, his eyes wide, pupils dilated.
It’s as if he’s caught up in a rut, but then why the blood? His lips curl up into a feral grin, showing me his bared teeth as they drip with his saliva. He’s a monster. A beast. Whatever the man said to him, it forced him to transform somehow, turning into something out of a nightmare.
In this vision, I reach out for him, but he either does not see or does not care, and somehow, I’m unable to move or force him to calm down. I have no control over things as I watch helplessly as he turns from me and walks up a set of stairs.
At the top, Annora sits on what looks like a throne, her face ashen as she stares at Altris. She holds up her hands as if to stop him, but I can’t see what happens after that.
My mind shifts again, once more dragging its molten fingers through my brain, searing me with the intensity of its heat. I want to cry out. I want to beg for no more, but I’m trapped in my mind, plagued by these visions that seem to make no sense.
A face smiles down at me. It’s older, but not quite as old as the Clan Mother. She too looks familiar, as if she’s some distant memory that I can’t quite hold on to. She speaks to me, her voice soothing over my body, driving the heat from me and leaving me cool to the touch.
As she touches me, my body shivers. It’s as if her fingers alone can pull the heat out of my body, leaving me languid, relaxed, and calm for a few blessed moments.
“Be still, my child,” the voice whispers in my mind. “We will find you. Even now, one of our Alphas moves to intercept. Be calm. Be still. Rest while we watch over you.”
In a flash of brilliant light, I can make out the forms of at least two other people, but then it’s gone, leaving me in darkness. The air around me ripples as awareness once more comes back to me. Another vision. Is this going to be a normal thing with me?
My body sags against Brennen’s horse as the visions depart, but despite the pain wracking my body, a slight smile curves across my lips. My salvation is nigh. Even if it’s the sweet kiss of death, it seems to greet me as a friend instead of an enemy.