Chapter Eight

Mashing Monsters

 

Right after the school year ended, Josh and his best friend Nick had planned an epic sleepover, an all-night party of junk food and video games. It had been delayed due to Nick’s family’s trip to Russia to visit relatives, but the time had finally come.

“Alright, boys,” said Josh’s droopy-eyed mom as she left the great room, “don’t stay up too late.”

“We won’t,” replied Josh, keeping a straight face.

“I’ll make sure to get them to bed at a decent time,” said Aiden. Josh hadn’t told him what the night entailed.

If anything, Aiden looked even more tired than Josh’s mom. This was one of his rare nights off from patrolling, which was the main reason Josh had picked it. Nick was eager to hang out with the dude nanny.

“Wake me up when you’re ready to go to bed.” Aiden closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the plush cushions of his seat.

Nick looked a little unimpressed. Josh didn’t know what he had expected out of the dude nanny, but it wasn’t a narcoleptic. He had been napping in his room when Nick arrived and had only been up for the past ten minutes or so.

“So anyway,” said Nick, smiling wide and reaching into his bag, “I brought this.”

He handed over a slim green video game case. It was Monster Mashers, one of the hottest games out there, which Josh hadn’t been able to convince his mother to buy. A quick scan of the back told him he would play either Jimmy or Kevin van Helsing, descendants of fabled vampire hunter Professor Abraham van Helsing. Jimmy and Kevin travel the world as modern day monster bounty hunters, earning cash for each creature destroyed. This particular game chronicled their trip to New York City, moving from landmark to landmark in their search.

Josh put in the game and turned on the television, going through the complicated series of steps involved to get the display in the correct widescreen format.

Before they could start playing, there was some important business to take care of. “Let’s go load up on food so we don’t have to stop in the middle of anything,” suggested Josh.

“Got the drinks covered.” Nick pulled a large bottle from his bag. It had a black label and the words “сахарный взрыв кофеина!!!” scrawled across in large red letters framed by what looked like an explosion. “I guarantee we won’t sleep tonight,” he added with a grin.

They rummaged through the refrigerator, bypassing the leftover salad up front to get to the plate of almond-crusted chicken that hadn’t been finished at dinner. It was something of a ritual for them. As much as Josh wanted to jump right to the junk food, Nick insisted on starting with Mrs. F-G’s latest masterpiece. The junk food on this particular night would be Josh’s precious stash of remaining Easter candy, one of the bi-annual times (the other being Halloween) that his parents didn’t object to massive amounts of sweets. Neither boy cared that the bag of candy was a few months old; it was still candy.

Settled back in front of the television, Josh watched the game’s intro. Jimmy and Kevin arrived in New York on a dilapidated fishing boat, armed to the teeth. Literally. Each character sported a set of metal fang implants, use of which the player could unlock once you got far enough in the game. None of the animated New Yorkers seemed to pay any attention to the two men walking down the street wearing leather armor covered in wooden stakes, carrying crossbows and shotguns. Their first stop was City Hall, which was infested with goblins. Jimmy and Kevin stopped in front of the building’s steps, struck heroic poses, and the game began.

“Pause it for a second,” said Nick. At least, that’s what he meant to say. With a mouth full of chicken, it came out more like, “Pawdidatedun,” but Josh knew what he meant.

Nick finished chewing, took a drink from his tall glass of “сахарный взрыв кофеина!!!”, and picked up his controller. “The controls are all the same as Raging Commando, so you’ll figure it all out pretty quick. Goblins are weak and not worth much money, so stick to your machete for now. They’re not worth wasting bullets on.”

“You can say that again,” seconded Aiden.

Josh glanced over at Aiden, who still looked like he was sleeping. If he hadn’t just spoken, Josh wouldn’t have known he was awake.

Jimmy and Kevin proceeded to hack and slash their way through the goblin horde. It wasn’t that difficult. The goblins only stood waist high, and their equipment was far from high tech. It was cast off things like hubcaps worn as helmets and phone books taped to their torsos for armor. Their weapons were rusty old metal sporks.

The stairs up to the mayor’s office were, of course, impassible due to a collapsed ceiling that left them piled with rubble. Instead, they were forced to find an alternate route that led them through the basement. Underground, which the game told them was where a goblin felt most at home, was a very dangerous place. Not only were there more goblins below ground than above, but they fought with an additional ferocity that, for a second or two, made Josh think that their characters were about to die. They surrounded the two heroes, forcing them to turn in circles to battle the little goblins. Eventually, they found stairs leading up. The goblins once again were wimps.

They reached the mayor’s office. There, waiting for them, was the goblin king, who was only a little more difficult to beat than his underlings. The mayor thanked them for rescuing him, paid them the money they earned, and told them about Pappy’s Emporium, the place where they could spend their cash upgrading or buying new weapons.

Pappy and his store were perfect for each other. Both were very old and appeared to be in danger of falling down at any moment. Pappy, who had a habit of calling the main characters things like “knucklehead” and “ratface” rather than their real names, had a huge collection of weapons that were perfect for monster hunting, but most of them were far too expensive for this trip. Josh hoped they’d earn enough cash to buy whatever they wanted.

A few minutes later, Jimmy and Kevin were back on their boat, traveling out to the Statue of Liberty. At Pappy’s, they had learned that it was filled with trolls.

“They’re slow, but powerful,” advised Nick as Jimmy and Kevin snuck toward the base of the statue. “Stay out of their reach. Plug away with your shotgun. Aim for their chest. They have very small brains, so head shots don’t do as much as you’d think.”

“That’s true. Their brains are tiny,” mumbled Aiden.

The trolls looked far more impressive and brutal than the goblins, standing at least eight feet tall and having the big, beefy look of professional wrestlers. Ugly, green, lumpy, crooked-toothed professional wrestlers wearing loincloths. This level was a little easier since the slow-moving trolls gave them plenty of time to blast away with their shotguns before the trolls got close enough to hit back.

Again, Jimmy and Kevin battled through the enemy, walking up what seemed like an endless flight of stairs until they reached the big copper lady’s head. They stood in front of a door.

“It’s about to get good,” said Nick. “You go first.”

Josh had Kevin reload his shotgun and sent him through the door, expecting to find the troll boss waiting for him. What he found waiting for him was an empty room.

Kevin turned in circles, scanning the inside of the head, but found no target to shoot.

“Oh, yeah, this is really good,” said Josh in a deadpan voice. “It’s awesome.”

“Look up.” Nick had a sly grin on his face.

Josh pulled back on his controller’s stick, making Kevin gaze upward. Still, there was nothing.

But then it happened. Something black separated from the top of the head’s structure and zoomed downward. Kevin’s view went in front of him again and, for the second time that summer, Josh saw a living shadow. This time, it was just an electronic one on his television screen.

“A wraith?” Josh asked.

“A wraith?” echoed Aiden, leaping from his seat and looking wide awake.

“Yeah, a wraith,” confirmed Nick.

“On the game,” said Josh to Aiden, who was crouched and looked ready to spring at the first shadow he saw.

“You okay?” Nick asked Aiden. It was, after all, the first thing he had seen Aiden do other than nap.

“Oh, shoot,” said Josh. He had been distracted by Aiden and hadn’t noticed that the wraith had turned its hands into blades and was slashing away at Kevin. He paused the game.

“Equip your flashlight,” advised Nick. “Guns won’t work on him, but light will.”

“No, it won’t,” scoffed Aiden.

“Dude,” argued Nick, “I’ve finished this level. The flashlight works.”

“No, it won’t,” said Aiden again.

“It’s just a game,” Josh said pointedly to Aiden. “The flashlight might work.”

“It will work.” Nick sounded frustrated with the conversation.

Aiden sat back down, looking tired again, not to mention irritated. “Okay. Try the flashlight.”

Kevin put his shotgun over his back and replaced it with his oversized flashlight. Jimmy did the same. The two beams converged on the wraith, who faded a bit, then fled through the crack under the door to the stairs.

“That’s what makes them tough to follow,” explained Nick. “They can’t fly or anything, but they can switch from three-dimensional to two-dimensional and move along any flat surface. Later, he’ll slide under this locked door that we have to break down.”

From the corner of his eye, Josh saw Aiden nod in agreement.

“Luckily, I know that he just went up into the torch,” Nick continued. “So we don’t have to waste a ton of time searching for him.”

Jimmy and Kevin went back to the stairs and followed the wraith upward. They found him trying to hide in a corner with other shadows, the non-living sort. Their lights flooded his hiding spot. Instead of fleeing again, he spoke to them. His voice was a simple whisper. The speakers surrounding the television couldn’t do it quite right. Having heard a real wraith speak, Josh knew it should sound like it came from everywhere at once.

“I yield,” said the game wraith.

A dialogue option came up on the screen. Without a moment of hesitation, Nick chose to have Jimmy say, “Die, monster!”

“Hang on a second,” pleaded Josh. There were other options, questions they could have asked. Given the accuracy of the wraith, a potential to learn more about them had just disappeared.

Jimmy’s flashlight focused on the wraith again. “He doesn’t tell you anything interesting,” said Nick. “Just something about how he works for someone else. The big boss. But I don’t want to give away any spoilers. You’ll have to see what happens when we get farther in the game.”

The wraith’s hands formed short swords again and, instead of striking out at Jimmy or Kevin, hacked at the torch’s wall. A crack formed through which the wraith disappeared.

“There was no way to kill him there,” said Nick. “But we’ll get another chance later.”

“So he’s not the big boss?” Aiden asked. He was once again looking wide awake. “There’s someone else out there controlling him?”

“Yup.” Nick sounded rather pleased that the dude nanny was so interested in his game. “A few levels down the road, we’ll get to meet him.”

“Who is he?” asked Aiden, a note of desperation entering his voice.

“It’s just a game,” Josh reminded him.

“I know, but it’s so incredibly accurate so far.”

“Accurate?” asked a puzzled Nick.

After a very short pause, Aiden said, “Architecturally, I mean. City Hall, the Statue of Liberty. They’re so close to real life.” Josh had to give Aiden credit. He was good at coming up with quick excuses.

At Pappy’s, Kevin traded in his machete for a chainsaw and replaced his standard pump-action shotgun with an automatic model with a 20-round drum. Jimmy kept his old equipment, but added a grenade launcher to his inventory.

“This next level might be my favorite. It’s werewolves,” said Nick.

Josh looked at Aiden, feeling a little guilty about what he was about to have Kevin do. Aiden gave him a little smile and said, “It’s just a game. I’m going to hit the bathroom and get a snack. Just, you know, let me know when you’re on the next level.”

As he left the room, Jimmy and Kevin’s cab rolled up to Central Park. Wolves’ howling filled the air.

His heart wasn’t in it, but Josh made Kevin march through the park, swinging his chainsaw and blasting away with his gun. Next to him, Nick let out a little shout of glee every time a hairy limb was severed or a grenade reduced a wolf to a messy puddle.

Each werewolf, Josh noticed, had the same lean, muscular look he had seen when Aiden transformed. The only differences were subtle shading variations of their fur. While they were all brown, some were darker, some were lighter, and some had mottled or striped fur. The main difference, he noted, was that the Aiden werewolf wore clothing, but the ones on the game didn’t. Suppressing a grin, Josh wondered if, had they all changed back to human, the television screen would show a bunch of naked dudes.

In the middle of the Central Park Zoo, they encountered the alpha she-wolf. Surrounded by a pack of regular wolves, she stood a head taller than any of them. Her shape had subtle differences that looked female, and gray patches on her pelt hinted that she was older than the others. “How dare you slaughter my children,” she said in a calm voice. Her yellow eyes blazed with suppressed fury, impressing Josh with the level of detail to the game’s graphics.

This time, Josh was determined that they speak with her before shouting, “Die, monster!”

“I’ll pick what we say, okay?” he asked Nick, who just shrugged.

Quickly reading through the options, Josh had Kevin say, “Who are you?”

“I am Mira, Mother of All Werewolves,” she replied.

How can she possibly be the mother of all werewolves? Josh thought. This wasn’t one of the dialogue choices. He looked over the other options, trying to decide which one would give him the most insight into werewolves. He must have taken too long, because Jimmy suddenly shouted, “Die, monster!”

“Dude!” Josh said to Nick. “I wasn’t done talking to her.”

“Sorry, but you better stop talking and start fighting or you’re gonna get pwned,” Nick replied. Together, the van Helsings managed to defeat Mira.

“Wow,” said Josh, pausing the game. “I’ll, uh, be right back. I want to get more chicken.”

He went to the kitchen. Aiden was there, sitting at the island with a plate of salad in front of him.

“We finished up the wolf level,” Josh said. “We met someone named Mira.”

Aiden’s fork stopped halfway to his mouth. “You did, huh?”

Josh nodded. “Yup. Listen, I didn’t know—”

“We can talk about it later. You and Nick have some more monster slaying to do.”

“I’m not sure I want to play this game anymore.” In Josh’s mind, each werewolf he had just killed had been named Aiden.

“Well, I want you to. I want to see what else it shows. I want to see who Mr. Midnight works for.”

“It’s not Mr. Midnight. It’s just a game.”

“Maybe,” Aiden said.

Ten minutes and one trip to Pappy’s later, Jimmy and Kevin were once more fighting creatures and making money. They went through dragons at Yankee Stadium, ghouls at Grant’s Tomb, and minotaurs at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Josh kept expecting each mission to take him to the Guggenheim. With each new creature they encountered, Aiden made quiet remarks about how accurate they were.

“Okay, here we go, final level,” said Nick, who was starting to look tired. The bottle of “сахарный взрыв кофеина!!!” was empty, the candy had been reduced to empty wrappers, and the brightening sky hinted that the sun would be rising soon.

In the game, it was pitch dark. The street was lit only by dim streetlamps when Jimmy and Kevin stepped from the subway exit and stood before the Empire State Building. In front of the building, as if daring them to enter, was the wraith. He slid through the crack between two doors and disappeared from view. The van Helsings, taking the dare, ran after him.

It was a floor-by-floor battle through every type of monster they had fought so far. Luckily, the game was scaled down and they didn’t really have to fight their way up all 102 stories. Being so close to the end, Aiden didn’t seem too bothered when they encountered the werewolves. He continued to sit on the edge of his seat, leaning forward, watching everything. On their last trip to Pappy’s, they had unlocked the use of the metal fangs. Josh wasted no time trying these out on a poor goblin, and he had to admit that the graphics of that particular attack were cool. After twenty stories or so (Josh lost count after eight), they emerged onto the roof. Like the real sky outside, Jimmy and Kevin’s sky was starting to turn pink on the horizon.

The wraith was there, and he was not alone. There was a second black figure with him, but this one was solid, not shadow. It was his (or possibly her) clothing that was black. Cape with a hood pulled low over their face, shirt, pants, everything was as dark as the wraith.

Jimmy and Kevin didn’t have the option of running forward with guns blazing. The game automatically switched to a cut scene with the two heroes strolling forward to confront the big boss.

“This is the part I don’t like,” said Nick. “I mean, we’re in the middle of this battle and we just stop to have a little chat? Lame. If I were Kevin, I’d just jump through the door and—”

“Shhh,” said Aiden as the dialogue began.

“So, you made it this far, did you?” said the black-clad figure in a man’s voice. “I must admit, I’m rather surprised.”

“Please, can I choose, ‘Die, monster’?” asked Nick.

“No,” said Aiden and Josh together.

Josh took over selecting their speech options.

“Who are you?” asked Kevin.

The man in black pulled back his hood, revealing a very pale face and long, pointed teeth. He looked familiar. “I am Lord Wallachia, and I have run out of patience with the two of you.”

Aiden let out an audible gasp and moaned, “Larry.”

Nick gave him an odd look and said, “Don’t worry, we’ll take him out. Hit, ‘Die, monster!’”

Instead, Josh chose, “Why have you unleashed your foul hordes upon this fair city?”

“Fair city?” scoffed Lord Wallachia as he began pacing in front of Jimmy and Kevin. “This City of New York? This cesspool of both poverty and excess? This city, indeed this world, could be truly magnificent, but you pathetic humans have sent it into the depths of depravity and decay!”

“Blah, blah, blah,” Nick said, prompting a “shush” from both Josh and Aiden.

“This world should be mine,” Lord Wallachia continued. “For far too long, I have sat in the dark. I have watched as others did what I should. They took the power that should be mine. The fools and scoundrels have all but destroyed this city, this country, this world. But no longer. I am not content to let others occupy my rightful place. Both worlds and all their people will be mine. All shall love me and despair!”

“I never got that ‘both worlds’ part,” muttered Nick.

“Shhh,” said Aiden again as Lord Wallachia continued.

“And now, I’m afraid that I must give you to my most trusted lieutenant,” he said, motioning to the wraith. The wraith took a step forward and the game released Jimmy and Kevin from the dialogue screen, giving Josh and Nick control again.

“Flashlights?” asked Josh.

Nick nodded. The twin beams converged on the wraith, who jumped around, trying to dodge the light.

“Enough of this,” bellowed Lord Wallachia, baring his fangs and rushing toward Jimmy and Kevin.

“Auto crossbows,” instructed Nick.

“Okay,” said Josh. “I was wondering why you insisted we get these. They’ve been pretty useless so far.”

“Go left, and we’ll try to catch him from two sides. And don’t forget that the wraith is still running around somewhere.”

Jimmy and Kevin did their best, but Lord Wallachia was too fast and too strong. What crossbow bolts he couldn’t avoid slowed him momentarily. Meanwhile, he slashed at them with his long claws and fangs. Just when things looked hopeless, Wallachia let out a scream and ran back inside the building.

“Whew. We held him off long enough for the sun to rise and chase him off,” said Nick.

“Vampires aren’t affected by the sun,” said Aiden in disbelief.

“Sure they are. Don’t you know anything about vampires?” said Nick in even more disbelief.

“Okay, so what’s next?” asked Josh.

“Nothing. That’s it. We just beat the game.”

The game’s programming took over once more, and Jimmy and Kevin were removed from Josh and Nick’s control. On the screen, the two bloody and battered warriors followed Wallachia to the door, but opened it to find no trace of him.

They returned to their boat, finding a note on the deck. A close-up showed tight little cursive writing on old parchment. In a voice-over, Lord Wallachia said, “Well played. You may have foiled my plans, but not my ambitions. We will meet again.”

“Setting up the sequel. That’s my guess,” said Nick.

“Are you boys still up?” Mrs. F-G’s voice pulled Josh’s attention away from the screen.

“Um, we sort of…” said Josh, looking to Aiden for one of his quick excuses.

“Your mother will be up soon,” she said, not waiting for an excuse. “If you don’t want a heap of trouble, you better get to bed. I’ll clean up.” She started picking up the empty soda bottle. “Sugar Caffeine Explosion?”

Josh opened his mouth, but the look on Mrs. F-G’s face told him that he had better do what she had said, and do it right now.

“You too, Aiden,” she added. “You look terrible.”

As Josh left the great room, he heard Aiden say, “I can’t yet, Ann. I have to talk to Larry.”