Tips for Helping Breast Cancer Patients

SUGGESTIONS FROM BREAST CANCER SURVIVORS:

Make a specific offer of help to the person with breast cancer. A general offer, such as, “Just let me know how I can help,” will likely not result in a request.

1. Line up friends or family members to accompany the patient to each of her chemo or radiation treatments.
   • Prior to each session, send an email to the patient, telling her who will pick her up that day, wait with her, and return her to her home.
   • Orient those accompanying the patient about what to expect: the approximate length of the treatment, the response of the patient to the treatment (it will likely make her sleepy, so don’t feel pressure to entertain or talk constantly), her needs (create as relaxed and comforting an atmosphere as you can.)
2. If you’re a breast cancer survivor, offer to suggest a list of questions she may want to ask her doctors. Be sensitive and diplomatic, of course, but because of your own experience, you may know of areas needing discussion of which her family or other friends are unaware.
3. Volunteer to go along to doctor appointments and keep notes for the patient. All of the medical terminology and options to consider can be nearly overwhelming for a patient who is alone. And it can help to have someone to talk to afterwards as she tries to digest all of the information.
4. Coordinate a schedule for providing meals to the patient.
   • Be sure to check with the patient first, asking for any dietary restrictions and food preferences, as well as the best time of day to deliver the food, the appropriate quantity, and whether the food should be brought hot or cold.
   • Ask if she likes meals brought daily, or every other day, or less frequently. (Too much food can be almost as overwhelming as too little.)
   • Urge those who supply meals to use containers that do not need to be returned, thus relieving the patient of a possible burden.
   • Volunteer to take a meal once a week or once a month.
5. Pick up the patient’s grocery list, or offer her a shared grocery list app that you can both access. Then go get her groceries. Ask if she’d like you to put them away when you deliver them.
6. Ask if you may do her laundry.
7. Ask if you may take her kids for an afternoon or evening.
8. Ask if you may clean her bathrooms. She ­probably won’t ask anyone to do this, but she’ll find it hard to refuse your genuine offer.
9. Be ready to talk about your life if the patient asks you.

A Word of Explanation:

While for ease of reading we have referred to the patient as “she” throughout the section, it is important to remember that men are also breast cancer patients and survivors, and each of these tips apply to men as well.