George Washington
What man is a man who does not make the world better?
—Kingdom of Heaven (MOVIE), FROM THE LATIN INSCRIPTION: Nemo vir est qui mundum non reddat meliorem
The word duty (from the French for “due” and Latin for “debt”) is a term that conveys a moral commitment to someone or something. The moral commitment is one that results in action and is not a matter of passive feeling or mere recognition. When someone recognizes a duty, that person commits himself to the cause involved without considering the self-interested courses of actions that may have been relevant previously. This is not to suggest that living a life of duty precludes one of the best sorts of lives but duty does involve some sacrifice of immediate self-interest.
A duty (in either a moral or legal sense) is an obligatory task, conduct, service, or function that arises from one’s position. For instance, someone serving in the military takes an oath to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.” It is their duty (legal obligation) to serve their country in that capacity if it should be required. Likewise, when a man becomes a father it is his duty (moral obligation) to provide for and protect that child. Oftentimes it is also our civic obligation or duty to serve our fellow man if we are in a position to be best qualified to fulfill that function—even if we are reluctant.
George Washington was such a man.
George Washington—Duty above All Else
I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none.
—Ezekiel 22:30 NIV 1984
George Washington (1732–1799) was born on a Virginia tobacco plantation. He could trace his roots back to the first settlers of America. His father died when he was eleven years old, and he went to live with his older brother on the property known as Mount Vernon, which he later inherited. At sixteen he began work as a surveyor and spent the next three years mapping the Virginia wilderness. Young Washington, although an excellent dancer and horseman, was unlucky with the ladies. He was shy and quiet, and it’s possible that women might have been afraid of him; while most men in his time stood about five foot five inches tall, Washington was at least six foot two with huge hands and feet. He had reddish brown hair worn in a ponytail and gray-blue, piercing eyes.[21]
Washington was the first president of the United States of America. He led the American victory over Great Britain in the American Revolutionary War as commander-in-chief of the Continental Army from 1775 to 1783 and presided over the writing of the Constitution in 1787. He was the unanimous choice to become the first president of the US (still the only president to garner 100 percent of the electoral votes) and oversaw the creation of a strong, well-financed national government. His leadership style established many forms and rituals of government that have been used since, such as using a cabinet system and delivering an inaugural address. Washington is universally regarded as the “father of his country.”
Washington had a vision of a great and powerful nation that would be built along republican lines and using federal power. He sought to use the national government to preserve liberty, improve infrastructure, open the western lands, promote commerce, found a permanent capital, reduce regional tensions, and promote a spirit of American nationalism. Virtually all of the decisions he made, from initially accepting the presidency to limiting his service to two terms (instead of for life), set precedents that are still in force today.
Early in his career, Washington fought with the British in the French and Indian War. In one battle he had two horses shot out from under him, his hat shot off his head, and four musket balls tear through his coat, but he still was not hit![22] He was eventually put in charge of the Virginia regiment and given the task of defending Virginia’s frontier. In command of a thousand soldiers, Washington was a disciplinarian who emphasized training. He led his men in brutal campaigns against the Indians in the west, and within ten months various units of his regiment had fought twenty battles and lost a third of their men. Washington’s strenuous efforts meant that Virginia’s frontier population suffered less than that of other colonies. After the frontier was safe, Washington considered his duty done and went home to marry Martha Custis and settle down as a Virginia planter. Washington was a successful farmer working with different crop rotations and breeding a variety of animals. But British taxation was raising the ire of the American colonies and war loomed on the horizon.
After the Boston Tea Party, England sent troops to occupy Boston and declared English Law in effect. When Paul Revere warned the countryside that the “British are coming!” seventy-seven “minutemen” met the troops in Lexington and the “shot heard round the world” started the Revolutionary War.
In April 1775 after the Battles of Lexington and Concord, the colonies declared war on Great Britain. Washington appeared at the Second Continental Congress in a military uniform, signaling that he was prepared for war. Washington had the military experience, charisma, and bearing of a military leader. He was known as a strong patriot. Virginia, the largest colony, deserved recognition, and New England—where the fighting began—realized it needed Southern support. Washington did not seek the office of commander and even said that he was not equal to it, but there was no serious competition. Congress created the Continental Army on June 14, 1775, and Washington was appointed Major General and commander in chief.
Washington had three tasks during the Revolutionary War. First, he had to lead his men against the British forces. While losing many battles, he never surrendered his army, and, in fact, encouraged them to great feats of courage and endurance. His ability to rally his men and encourage morale helped him hold his bedraggled and dispirited army together during the cold and hungry winter at Valley Forge. Despite being desperately low on men and supplies, his courage and daring earned him the respect of his troops. His brilliantly conceived plan to cross the Delaware River in an icy winter storm and the bloody ensuing march on Christmas night ended in the surprise capture of a Hessian garrison and the city of Trenton, New Jersey.[23]
Second, he was charged with organizing and training an army. His problems with an all-volunteer army included not only lack of gunpowder and supplies but building an army from thirteen separate colonies, which was like recruiting from thirteen different countries. The troops did not like discipline and following orders, and they didn’t trust men from other colonies. Once, a snowball fight started between men from different militias. Soon over a thousand soldiers were punching and kicking one another. In one of his few displays of temper, Washington charged on horseback into the middle of the fray, leaped down, and grabbed two soldiers by their collars and lifted them off the ground—one in each hand—and roared commands at the others. The fight ended within seconds.[24]
Third, and most important, Washington embodied armed resistance to the Crown—the man representative of the revolution. His enormous stature and political skills kept congress, the army, the French, the militias, and the states all pointed toward a common goal. After victory had been finalized in 1783, Washington resigned rather than seize power, proving his opposition to dictatorship and his commitment to American republicanism.
Washington’s insight into human nature also won him admiration. During the occupation of New Jersey by the British, many colonists had sworn an oath of loyalty to the British. After Washington liberated the state, many of his officers wanted to “punish” these traitors. But Washington knew many had claimed loyalty only because they were afraid. So instead of punishing them he gave them an opportunity to pledge allegiance to the United States. Those who refused were allowed to march unharmed across enemy lines. Washington knew the fastest way to turn a Tory into an American patriot was to send him to British-controlled territory because the Redcoats treated colonists poorly. Given a choice between Washington’s kindness and the spite of the British military, many decided to become patriots.[25]
Washington had unusually great physical strength. Thomas Jefferson called Washington “the best horseman of his age,” and both American and European observers praised his riding. His favorite hobby was hunting. He did not wear a wig, but powdered his hair. He also suffered from bad teeth his entire life, which caused him great pain. (Historians believe you can see that pain etched on his face on the one-dollar bill.) Contrary to popular lore, he did not wear wooden teeth but dentures made from, among other things, hippo ivory. Many of the stories about his childhood such as throwing a silver dollar across the Potomac River and admitting to chopping down his father’s cherry tree (“I cannot tell a lie”) are probably not true.
Washington was primarily affiliated with the Anglican and, later, the Episcopalian Church. Eyewitness accounts exist of Washington engaging in private devotions, and he frequently accompanied his wife to church services. Washington avoided the word God and instead used the term “Providence.” He credited every single victory in war, the miracle of the Constitutional Convention, and the creation of the federal government and the prosperity of the early republic to Providence.
Washington died at home after becoming sick with a cold. The last words in his diary were, “’Tis well.” All over the world, men and women were deeply saddened by Washington’s death. Napoleon ordered ten days of mourning throughout France. In the United States, thousands wore mourning clothes for months. His remains were moved on October 7, 1837, to the new tomb constructed at Mount Vernon. After the ceremony, the inner vault’s door was closed and the key was thrown into the Potomac. Washington is consistently ranked among the top three presidents of the United States, according to polls of both scholars and the general public.
Why Duty Is Important
Duty is mine; consequences are God’s.
—General T. J. “Stonewall” Jackson
Duty requires us to do things that need to be done whether or not we want to do them. Many boys I know want to become men because they believe they can do whatever they want once they become an adult. The truth is, though, that the very definition of a man is one who doesn’t do some things he does want to do and does some things he doesn’t want to do because that benefits those who are under his leadership and charge. George Washington knew that his duty to his country took precedence over his personal desires.
In the past, men had a sense of pride in fulfilling what were considered their natural responsibilities and duties. Chief among these were their natural roles as guide, protector, and provider. Those duties were a man’s responsibility alone, and he did not lean on his wife or children, nor expect society to support him. When burdens became heavy, he did not run away or turn to others. He looked to himself for solutions, reorganizing his life, reevaluating his situation, and possibly eliminating unnecessary obligations. These roles were accomplished through the feeling of personal fulfillment and satisfaction he received (1) from proving his worth—reaching objectives, overcoming obstacles, and exercising his unique talents and abilities, (2) by making a worthy contribution to society, and (3) with character development—becoming a more worthy person.
This mentality is healthy for a young male for a number of reasons. He derives a great sense of self-esteem and self-confidence by being self-sufficient and fulfilling his roles as provider and protector. Overcoming obstacles and solving problems develop character and refine his spirit. As a man works patiently and diligently to provide comforts for his family he quickly learns to become unselfish. Marriage is one of the greatest tools for personal development for a young male, especially regarding his duties. It provides incentives unknown to him before marriage.[26]
It would seem now, though, that the industrialized nations have quietly but quite completely moved into a new paradigm for how society is supposed to function. This means that the foundational ethos that had been the fabric of the Christian-Judeo societies has been displaced, particularly as it applies to males.
This former ethos could be reduced to the simple belief that some things are more important than the individual. This is what duty is all about—making sacrifices for something more important than we are.
Such tenets of duty might include (1) sacrificing self for the welfare of others, (2) being honorable or honest even if it costs you, (3) maintaining/protecting the sanctity of marriage and family, (4) protecting the dignity/image of foundational societal institutions such as the legal system, government, or school authorities, and (5) being accountable to a higher power (Creator) even when you don’t want to be.
For the seventeenth through twentieth centuries, this underlying belief system (primarily based on the Ten Commandments) was generally accepted by our societies. This acceptance existed either willingly, grudgingly, or perhaps even in active rebellion against the concepts. But almost all people acknowledged there was this basic system of beliefs that was the foundation for any discussion on people’s actions.
The twenty-first century has now pushed aside this previous system of beliefs. In its place, it has almost completely installed a new ethos. This ethos has ushered in a new belief system consisting of postmodernism, morally and truthfully relativistic with an entitlement attitude. This new underlying belief can be reduced to this: There is nothing that is more important than the individual.
The irony of this new ethos is that if nothing is more important than the individual, then the individuals living in such a milieu have been cast adrift into a lonely existence of unimportance. This follows because, first, if there are no superior institutions (besides government) to give order, stability, and protection, then each individual is completely on their own and, ultimately, helpless against whatever forces might come against them. And, second, if nothing is more important than the individual, then the individual is alone. All other people are separate, of less importance, and thus helpless for emotionally bonding with the individual.
Men are no longer universally looked to for leadership in our society or to fulfill their primary duties though God has given and equipped them with the duty to provide leadership in at least three key areas (spiritual teaching would be a fourth):
Provision: Men are no longer necessarily the providers in their families. Women quite often earn as much or more than their husbands. Also, an ever-increasing number of men are unable to find employment or are becoming greatly underemployed, without the ability to earn enough to support their families.
Protection: The natural aggressiveness in males that is so important for offering protection is being suppressed. Schools starting with kindergarten on up through high school are condemning normal male obstreperousness. Consider how many boys are being placed on medications to calm them or keep them from being disruptive. Soldiers are condemned for not being properly gracious and gentle in the midst of battle. Even professional football athletes are having rules enforced and massive fines imposed to cut out aggressiveness on the field and major league baseball pitchers can’t throw a pitch even remotely close to being inside or high and tight without evoking a reprimand from the umpire. If he continues to pitch inside he will be ejected from the game.
Leadership: Many men are no longer actually occupying the position of being the leaders in families. Women have steadily been freed from previous barriers, raised up in their capabilities, and installed in positions of authority and leadership. Currently enrollment in college is about 60 percent women and 40 percent men. As this naturally plays out in our society, women will increasingly occupy positions of power.[27]
Duty today is considered old-fashioned, archaic, and even irrelevant. And yet our culture suffers because men do not live lives of duty—they do not sacrifice themselves for the benefit of others in either public or private arenas. When men do not live lives of duty, we see politicians who use their positions for self-gain instead of the benefit of all. We see fatherless children and single mothers who suffer mightily because men would rather seek personal fulfillment than sacrifice for the good of their families.
George Washington lived a life of duty. All he wanted to be was a land-owning country gentleman. He did not feel qualified to be commander in chief of the Army during the war but felt compelled to accept that role as the most experienced and qualified man for the position. After the war he did not want to oversee the revision of the Articles of Confederation and creation of a constitution but felt compelled when convinced that his presence was necessary. Finally, he reportedly did not want to serve as president but knew it was his duty because the Constitution might not be ratified if he did not fulfill the position. Our country would not be here today if not for his willingness to fulfill his duty as a man.
How to Teach Your Son Duty
It is impossible to rightly govern a nation without God and the Bible.
—George Washington
Teach your son that as a man he has the great power to impact and influence lives. In fact, even as a boy, other people (usually younger boys) are looking up to him and watching him as a role model—generally people he doesn’t even know about. Sometimes hundreds or thousands of people’s lives are impacted by the things we do or don’t do or even the things we say or don’t say. Fathers especially have the ability to touch the lives of people for generations. The lives of people they don’t know and will never meet are being impacted by the choices and decisions they make today. Your son needs to know about that power so he can learn to use it responsibly. He needs to know that he has a duty to use that power to the best of his ability.
One of the things I am most excited about and proud of happened in the spring of 2010 in the US Virgin Islands (USVI). A sixty-two-year-old grandmother and former senator from the islands had read my book, Better Dads, Stronger Sons, at an airport during a business trip. She was impressed enough to buy ten copies to give to business and government leaders back home and ask them to help sponsor me for a weeklong speaking tour of the islands. (Tough duty, I know, but someone has to suffer through this kind of work.) Reportedly, the USVI has a very high fatherless rate, and they were seeing more and more violence among the young men there—especially during the annual Carnival, a monthlong celebration on the islands.
They brought me in just before Carnival to speak across the islands with the message that men, and especially fathers, are important. To facilitate that message, all of my speaking events were either recorded and/or broadcast live by between one to three radio stations. Apparently, the USVI is a very radio-friendly culture with most people listening to talk radio. Because of this experience, I made connections with several radio stations and their show hosts. The one venue where I spoke without a broadcast was at the state penitentiary. While speaking to the men there I emphasized how important they were and that their lives had value and meaning. I told them how much the young people of the islands looked up to them. Afterward, the men wanted to know what they might be able to do to make a difference in the world—after all they were imprisoned. An idea formed. What if the men were to record public service announcements (PSAs) for the radio stations, telling young people that violence and crime are not glamorous and that being incarcerated is not an honorable way to live life? That would be using their influence and power as men in a noble manner! We quickly connected the men with a radio station and the PSAs were recorded and broadcast just before Carnival time.
I can’t say whether or not those PSAs made a difference in the rate of violence during Carnival, although I heard anecdotal evidence that they did. I do know that at least some men who formerly believed their lives were of no value now know they can make a difference in the world. And if only one young person was kept from going to prison or had their life spared because of one of those messages, then the effort was worth it.
Help your son to learn that everyone can do something to make the world a better place. It doesn’t matter how old you are, how young you are, or how many mistakes you’ve made. God has a plan for your life and wants to use you to impact the world. Your son’s duty is to make his best effort to find out God’s plan for his life and then fulfill his role.
Investing in family and relationships also teaches boys about duty. A boy learns about his duty as a father and husband by what is modeled to him by his parents. Since we generally spend the most time on things we truly believe are the most important in life, this means we have to make sacrifices to spend time together. If Dad and Mom model an example of investing in family and friends, then that will be passed along.
Next, you can help your son learn about duty by teaching him the value of delayed gratification. Delayed gratification is a concept that is almost nonexistent in our culture today. With the availability of easy credit, almost no one waits and saves enough money to pay cash for anything today. No one has to wait for more than two minutes for their food order, and with email, text messaging, and cell phones no one has to wait to communicate instantly with anyone on the planet. With overnight (sometimes same day) delivery service no one has to wait for snail mail to receive whatever they want to buy.
Delayed gratification seems like a strange way to teach someone duty, but duty is all about putting aside our wants and needs for the benefit of others. Those who have learned the value of delayed gratification understand the concept of duty at a deeper level. They understand why it is necessary and what benefits come from it. Through the lesson of delayed gratification, they appreciate what they receive more. For instance, waiting to have sexual intercourse until you are married helps you appreciate it so very much more than engaging in it from the time you first meet. Having to save up and pay cash for your first car means you will appreciate it more, value it more, and probably take better care of it than if it were given to you.
Most of all, delayed gratification teaches sons to understand that the world does not revolve around them and that some things are more important than their wants and needs. Each of us must fulfill duties during our lifetime. As husbands and fathers we have duties to our wives and children to provide for them and protect them—whether or not we feel like it! Some men become involved in the military and have a duty to protect our country—sometimes at great cost of life or limb. Without their sacrifices the freedoms each of us enjoys would be nonexistent.
Duty matters—without it neither individuals nor cultures can attain greatness.