Mallory
Cristan listens without interruption. His posture rigid, face hard as he leans forward as Kit explains about the genetically tampered citizens who were banished to the old city.
He barely reacts until Kit and Jackson talk about the plan to enter the new city by taking down the UV shield.
He raises a hand and directs his question to Jackson. “That was your brilliant plan? Storm the city and then what? Try to break into Government house? You’d be dead before you got there.”
Jackson doesn’t respond but shares a glance with Kit. “Maybe. But you wouldn’t be.”
Cristan’s jaw works furiously. “You were going to bust me out?”
Kit exhales slowly and interrupts Jackson before he can answer. “The plan changed when you went directly to the ward, and not to the Unit like Jackson thought you would.”
I feel Cristan’s eyes on me. “And the ghosts were supposed to do what?”
Jackson’s voice is brittle, his eyes narrowed. “They created a distraction so we could scatter the roaches. The plan was to get to the wall and blow a hole in the UV Shield. But we were ambushed. Someone must have tipped them off. We never stood a chance.”
Cristan reaches for my hand and grasps it tightly. “So, there’s a mole inside the Unit? Someone let the G know Drew was communicating with you out here?”
Jackson nods. Anger flashes across Kit’s face as she gestures to Jackson’s new wound. “They were using live ammunition out there. Jackson nearly died and a dozen ghosts lost their lives. This was an organised attack.”
The sick feeling in my stomach starts to build again as I think of the woman who died inside Trey’s hut.
Silence shrouds the hut as everyone seems to acknowledge the enormity of how many lives were lost in our attempt to get back in to the city.
Cristan breaks the silence. “But technically your plan worked right? I mean the ghosts and probably Trey are in fact inside the new city again?
Kit shakes her head. “But…they can’t do anything.”
Jackson glares at Cristan. “Too bad you didn’t check the wards for survivors before you escaped.”
Angry tension grows thick in the room as Jackson continues to glare at Cristan. “Come to think of it, how did you escape?
Cristan inhales sharply as he wrenches his hand from mine and shoots to his feet. “What the hell are you accusing me of?”
Jackson’s voice rises a notch louder. “Not accusing you of anything. Just saying it’s funny how you got captured, and suddenly the G starts monitoring short wave radio they shouldn’t even know about. Who else could it be? Drew? No one else had as much to lose as you.”
My eyes pop as Cristan curses. “You think I’m the spy? You think they let me go so I can report back about what’s going on out here?”
Jackson shrugs and pulls a face. “It fits. That’s all I’m saying, bro.”
Cristan’s fists curl at his sides, cheeks flushing as he raises his voice. “You don’t know jack about what happened when I was inside.”
Kit worries her lip as she tries to step between a glowering Jackson and Cristan. “Calm down, both of you. Cristan, you’re right, we don’t know what happened. So why don’t you tell us?”
Cristan shakes his head angrily, mouth set in hard lines as he near spits the words. “I snapped the doctor’s neck and if I been able to, I’d have done the same to the fecking Prime Minister too.”
All the air leaves my lungs as Cristan stalks out of the hut, slamming the door behind him.
Jackson and Kit stare after him. Neither saying a word as a shudder runs through my body.
Kit is the first to speak. Her voice a ragged whisper. “Oh, dammit, Jackson. What have you done you stupid wanker? They’ll never stop trying to get him back now.”
Jackson’s face seems to pale even further as I fight the spinning sensation in my head.
“Good. Let them come,” is all he says.
I stand on legs I’m sure will give out. Head light, stomach roiling as I try to decide whether to go after Cristan or not.
What can I say? He killed a man. Do I say it’s okay? That it doesn’t make me want to run away from him?
“Mallory,” Kit says softly.
I look at her as she crosses the dirt floor, her face creased with worry. “I know this is horrible. But Cristan is what they made him. He’s fighting against it, but he’ll never be free until we find a way to stop the experiment.”
I swallow back my tears, as even Jackson seems to look on me with pity. “How?” I croak.
Her sigh is long and deep as she pushes her hands into her trouser pockets. “I’m not sure. But this is no way for anyone to live.”
She looks at her feet and shakes her head. “To be truthful, no one really knows exactly what’s been done to him. All the records are hidden. And if Doctor Jones died, then the tech is probably going to have to stay inside him.”
The floor starts to rock beneath me at the mention of the doctor who conducted my Irrelevance Prevention Therapy.
And Cristan killed him. Did he know how much I hated that man? Know he was the cause of my nightmares?
I know my voice will shake but I need to ask Kit one last question before I try to speak to Cristan again. “Is he dangerous?”
Jackson snorts a laugh. “Hell yes. He’s a bloody psychopath.”
Kit scowls at him. “You be quiet. You’ve done enough.”
Her voice is gentler as she speaks to me. “He’s not a psychopath. Jackson doesn’t even know what that word really means. If Cristan killed, it won’t be because he enjoyed it. I can’t even begin to imagine what they did to provoke him.”
She steps closer and drops her voice so Jackson can’t hear. “And no matter what he’s done, he needs you. And I think you need him too?”
My eyes flood. Emotions I long suppressed as Irrelevant bubble upwards lodging in my throat, rendering my tongue obsolete.
Even though I don’t feel like it, or want to, my feet shift, ready to follow him. And I know that despite knowing what he’s capable of I do need him.
And I want to help him.
Cristan
Anger spreads like a fire inside me. I can’t risk taking it out on anyone so I sprint as fast as I can around Trey’s hut.
I need to burn it off. Burn off the seething rage. Since I can’t punch something until the burning anger dissipates, running is the only way I’ve ever been able to deal with it.
I hope to hell it works again. Mallory knows. She knows what I did. And there is no coming back from that.
My thighs burn as I push harder and harder, running in circles like a maniac hoping that I can counteract Mr Hyde as he threatens to appear again.
I shouldn’t even be thinking about all this. I should be trying to come up with a plan to get Jed out. Get Jackie and tell everyone inside that the G lied to us about so many things.
My heart is pounding against my battered chest, and my lungs don’t seem to be able to fill like they usually do.
I come to a sliding halt and bend over as I struggle to catch my breath.
Hot tears sting at my eyes. I’m a murderer. She knows. They all do.
Bile rises as I drop to my knees and suck in gulps of dry air. I finally snapped. Just like everyone inside 2B always thought I would.
A shudder rips through me. My fingers clutch at the dirt as I start to convulse. I’m sick. I’m diseased. I shouldn’t have come back here. Not to Mallory.
I should get Jed out, and leave him in the care of someone who doesn’t have blood on his hands.
Drew loves him. I know that’s true. And I couldn’t have asked for a better mother in Jackie.
I sniff back tears and swipe at my nose as I start to think of what kind of a future Jed could have without me.
I choke a sob, despair curling in all around me as I attempt to still the hopelessness pushing in around me.
Soft footfalls are the first thing I hear over my shuddering half sobs. I can’t even look up when I catch sight of limp blonde hair as Mallory drops into the dirt in front of me.
She doesn’t say a word as she leans into me and wraps her arms around me.
I know I shouldn’t. I know I don’t deserve the comfort. But I’m too weak not to return her embrace.
I slide my arms around her shoulders and pull her closer to me. A sob tears painfully from my throat as she starts to stroke my hair.
She lets me cry silently. With no judgement. Not saying a word as I allow all the anger and pain inside to flow out of me.
We start to rock. She’s rocking me. Using her body to calm me down the way it calms her down. And for the craziest reason, I’m responding.
My breathing is slowing, heart rate dropping as we rock back and forth. I can’t imagine how strange we look, sitting there swaying. But I’m past the point of caring, and no one out here really cares about Irrelevant behaviour anyway.
I nestle my head into the soft skin of her neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply the subtle scent of her. My muscles start to relax, as my body melts into hers, making me feel like we’re two halves of one whole.
I start to murmur low in her ear. All the things I wanted to say to her when I thought I might not make it out of the ward. I tell her I want to give her the world, back the way it should have been, I promise to do better, to be better.
My hands slide down so I’m clasping around her slender waist. Her breaths come in shallow in my ear as she starts to caress the skin at the back of my neck.
Her fingers and the gentle rocking soothe away the bitter ache I tried to hold back for too many years to count.
She shifts back, her fingers never leaving my sweaty skin as she presses her forehead to mine so our noses touch.
Her lips meet mine and she kisses me far too hungrily given what she just learned about me.
My fingers slide of their own accord under her shirt. She sighs into my mouth and the sharp pain in my chest scoots away with an entirely different emotion replacing it.
Heat starts to travel over my fevered body as I reluctantly tug my lips from hers. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
Her eyes are wide, cheeks flushed as she whispers back. “It’s not your fault. Kit says it’s what they put inside you that makes you so angry.”
I wish I could believe her. I really do. But there’s a part of me that knows that if the opportunity presented itself again, I’d kill my father.
And it won’t be because of the tech inside me, that much I know to be true.
But as Mallory continues to rock, and softly hum in my ear as we sit in the dirt, covered in filth, I feel the closest thing to controlled I’ve ever been.
Somehow, I have to find a way to keep this level of control even when she’s not around. If I want to be with her, and not scare everyone around me, I need to find a way to undo the damage they’ve done.
Mallory
My hands don’t seem to be able to still as we return to the others. Jackson and Kit eye Cristan warily as he sends them a half-smile. “So, where we at? As far as this crazy rebellion goes?”
Jackson’s lips curl. “Well, most of our muscle is currently inside the new city. And I don’t know how many Irrelevants Drew managed to wrangle into helping. So, I have no fecking idea.”
Cristan’s eyebrows shoot upwards. “What? Drew’s asking the other Units to get involved? Kept that quiet.” He shakes his head, lips pressing downwards as he mutters.
Kit sighs and crosses her leg. “I guess we should move back to the Zoo? We’re sitting targets out here.”
Tension settles on my shoulders as I sit on the couch, folding my legs under me as I settle in.
Cristan glances back at me, worry lines growing on his filthy face before he looks back at Jackson. “Yeah. Except you shouldn’t be moving,” he says quietly.
Jackson slaps his leg hard enough for me to jump. “I’m not the issue though am I? There’s no point in running back to the Zoo, without the ghosts, we’re dead in the water. We need to get back to the new city and break them out.”
Cristan barks a laugh. “And how do you think we can do that? If the G aren’t already on their way, they will be as soon as they get permission. And the first thing they’ll do is head to the Unit and get Jed.”
His voice rises, but he stays controlled unlike a few minutes ago. When Jackson and Kit only stare at him, he shakes his head. “We need muscle, right? Plenty inside the Unit. We find a way to get them all out, tell them they’ve been lied to, and bring them back to the Zoo, so they can see what they’ve been missing.”
My stomach knots as I think of the ‘muscle’ he’s referring to. As if he can feel my concern, he angles his head towards me as he continues with his argument. “There are enough vehicles inside to transport most of us. We head back to Zoo, regroup and take some time to come up with a better plan.”
Jackson’s nostrils flare. “We had a great plan. Mallory’s idea to enter through the UV shield would have worked if someone hadn’t tipped them off.”
Cristan slides another look at me. “So, we revisit that plan. After we have more men and weapons. All of which are inside 2B.”
Kit rises from her place beside Jackson. “Yes, but so is the spy.”
A trickle of fear shudders down my spine as Cristan’s cheeks flush and his shoulders grow rigid.
I ease to standing, ready to prevent another argument when my stomach growls noisily.
Kit chuckles. “This can wait for a few minutes. We’re all tired and we still need to eat.”
Cristan nods and walks over to the cupboard filled with packages of food. My stomach starts to grumble as I recall the strangely sweet bar I ate here with Cristan.
He hands out the bars, and smiles as he bends to place one in my hands. “Maybe one day soon we can sit down and eat a proper meal together,” he says in a low voice.
His words are so filled with promise, heat rushes to my cheeks. I keep my eyes on the bar rather than him as he settles in beside me.
The room quietens as we all eat. Kit sounds exhausted when she speaks to Jackson so softly I can’t make out what she’s saying.
Cristan doesn’t seem to be listening as he demolishes his food and goes back for more. He wipes the crumbs from his mouth as he sits again. “How many other Units are interested in this?” he asks Jackson.
Jackson takes a swallow of his water, and shrugs. “Dunno. That’s where Drew comes in.”
Cristan chews some more, and hands me half of his bar without looking. “Why didn’t Drew tell me he knew you?”
Jackson’s mouth is full when he answers. “He was trying to keep you out of things. He was pretty pissed at me for dragging you both into it.”
Anger ignites in my middle at the glibness Jackson exhibits. My voice comes out crisp and stern when I speak. “And he still saved your life.”
Jackson’s face drops, and he gives me a sheepish smile as he rubs his chin. “Yeah. He did. And I owe him big time for that.”
Cristan looks confused as he finishes his third bar. “Drew saved your life? I thought Mallory did?”
Kit shakes her head. “It was a team effort. Mallory drove, while I infused Jackson with Drew’s blood. Without either of them, Jackson wouldn’t be sitting here.”
Her eyes mist, and she clears her throat repeatedly as Jackson sits oddly silent. He abandons his food and looks at Cristan. “So, any idea who the spy might be?”
Cristan exhales and leans back. “I have an idea. But I won’t know until we get inside. Another reason to head back there.”
Kit scowls at Cristan. “Jackson is still recovering. It’ll take weeks before he can do anything.”
Jackson opens his mouth, but Kit silences him with a raise of her hand. “Don’t argue. Maybe if you hadn’t pushed this all forward and gone out there injured, you might not have been shot.”
Her eyes move to Cristan as she adds. “Again.”
Cristan doesn’t seem remorseful when he pulls himself to standing. “Whatever we do, we need to do soon. I have the best chance of getting them to see reason. I should go alone.”
I flinch, the words tumbling unbidden from my mouth. “You’re leaving me here?”
Neither Kit of Jackson say anything as Cristan sits again and takes my hands in his. My heart jumps rapidly in my chest as he squeezes. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
I frown at him and pull my hands from his. “I’m coming with you. I’m not staying here. Not again.”
I know my eyes are filling, but I don’t care. Cristan starts to shake his head. Ready to rebuff me so I raise my voice before he can. “I am not staying here.”
Cristan flinches as though I’ve struck him. “Mal—”
It’s Kit that interrupts him. “You can’t tell her what to do. If she wants to go back and face her accusers, let her. Jackson can record something admitting he was the one who framed her.”
She prods Jackson, who’s staring at me with a barely contained smile. Kit makes an odd noise with her throat, which I don’t understand but seems to compel Jackson to speak agreement.
“I can do that. Anything to get Drew back on board,” he says with a half-smile.
Cristan tilts his head in my direction, his frown growing as he stares at me so intently, I feel my cheeks heat. He runs a hand over his face and blows out a sigh. “Okay, but don’t do anything crazy.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I’m too pleased he’s not trying to stop me, to pay any attention or to try to figure out what he means.
He grasps my hand and pulls me a little closer to him. “You have to promise not to go anywhere without me. We stick together.”
I’m ready with a nod when I notice his palms growing clammy and beads of sweat on his upper lip. “Cristan, you don’t look very well.”
He nods feebly. “Yeah. Well, the idea of going back with you is insane. If there’s a spy, and they know we’re all in one place, they’ll move heaven and earth to come get us.”
My brow furrows as Jackson curses from across the room. “Then you better get moving.”
With a scowl at Jackson, Cristan pulls himself to standing, my fingers still laced with his. “If we take the 4WD, I won’t be able to communicate with you.”
Kit and Jackson share a look that makes worry knot all over again. Jackson’s face is contorted into a controlled smirk as he speaks. “Nope. Good thing we have another vehicle then isn’t it?”
My confusion only grows with the chuckle that comes from Kit. She grins at me. “You’re going to love this.”
Given the worried expression on Cristan’s face, I highly doubt that.