The windshield wipers squeak in a slow rhythm, clearing rain from the glass as I pull into Kellan’s driveway. I called her after I left the hospital to pick up the necessities for Jordan and the kids, when I realized I had no place to go. I told her about the accident, and she told me to come over as soon as I was able.
I went back to the hospital with the things Jordan asked for and a few others I thought the kids might like. He was sleeping beside Bella when I got there. He faced toward Timmy, fast asleep in the adjacent bed. All I could think was that they lost a mom and a wife because of me.
I pull up the hood on my raincoat and grab my purse, hustling across the driveway and up the porch steps to her door.
Kellan is waiting in the open doorway. She waves me inside, closing the door behind me. Her arms wrap around me. “Chels, I’m so sorry about your sister-in-law.”
I hug her back quickly and let go. I need support. It’s part of why I came. I also need her help. I need to tell her everything.
“I made us some tea.” She takes a few steps down her long hallway toward the kitchen, stopping as she realizes I haven’t moved. “Chelsea?” She frowns, staring at me.
“This is my fault,” I choke out.
“What do you mean?” she asks, taking a few steps back toward me. “Wasn’t it an accident?”
I grab my phone from my purse, clutching it in my shaky hand, studying her confused expression.
Anyone who sees this video will think the worst of me—that’s how it was designed. I’ve had nightmares about what happened to Austin. I’ve lived these years riddled with guilt, knowing I could have done more. Knowing it didn’t have to be this way. But in my wildest dreams, it never played out the way this video makes it out to have happened.
I tap the email and hold the phone out to her. “The blackmailer sent me a video.”
I’ve told her everything, and she hasn’t called the police. She’s still willing to see me. Maybe she’ll believe me.
She frowns but takes another step toward me. “Of what?”
“Someone was there that night Austin died. Maybe that’s who’s doing this or maybe it was Steven, and he sent it to someone. Whoever did it—they made it look like I knew John was going to kill Austin—as if it was premeditated.”
“But it wasn’t…” she waits for confirmation as I keep my hand out with the phone.
“No, but it wasn’t an accident, either. Austin confessed to driving when Murray died just before. We all found out at the same time, and I was trying to calm John down, and he said he was going to kill him. I tried…”
Kellan takes the phone and taps the screen. I watch her face, glowing by the light of the screen, as the video plays. Her eyes grow wide and I brace myself for her judgment. The stress builds inside my chest as I prepare to explain anything she questions, hoping she knows me well enough to believe me. I need someone to believe me.
She clasps her hand over her mouth as she watches on, never taking her eyes off the screen.
“You knew!” John’s voice shouts. “You knew what I was going to do. I told you I’d kill him.”
I wince at the reminder of betrayal. In the moments after Austin’s death, I held myself responsible because I trusted John—the man I thought he was. I never thought he’d actually kill his best friend. I thought he cared about me—would protect me the way I was ready to protect him. I thought he was brave after all he’d gone through, but he was so quick to blame me. To shift the blame away from himself.
When I think back on everything that happened after Austin passed, I know John wasn’t sorry for what he did. It wasn’t a drunken mistake. He wanted Austin to die for what he did to his brother, and he found a way to make us complicit. He got what he wanted. A rock helped. I wonder what would have happened if the back of Austin’s skull struck soft sand, instead.
“Chels,” she says, looking up from the phone with her hand over her mouth. “I don’t understand.”
“It makes it look like we all just stood there, but I was in shock. John said he’d kill him, but I never thought he’d actually do it, and then…” She turns to me, letting her hand fall from her mouth. “He told me I’d go down for it if I didn’t help move the body.”
“Chels,” she mutters, shaking her head.
I swallow at the lump in my throat and fight to ask the question I’m terrified to have answered. “Do you believe me?”
“I believe you didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt,” she says right away, and I keep still, waiting for her to finish. Waiting for the but. “Chelsea, I thought I knew you, but this is all …”
My chest tightens, the muscles in my stomach constricting in my desperation. I need her to believe me. Believe in me.
“I wish I’d called the police. I should have done it. Ellie wanted to. I should have gone with her.” An image of Ellie breaking away from the group and running across the beach forms in my mind like it was yesterday. “I was scared, and I was having a panic attack. It was the first time it ever happened. I felt like I was going to swallow my tongue—I felt like I was going to die—but it’s not an excuse. I’m guilty.”
I wait for her to agree, but she stands in silence, still clutching my phone.
“I was on my way to confess when I got that video, and then…” Jordan’s cries echo in my mind. “I got the call from Jordan. The subject of that email says I was too late. The blackmailer did this, Kellan. They tried to kill my family.”
Understanding flashes in her gaze. “Holy shit.”
“You were right. You asked if I’d looked into who sent it. I told you I thought they’d stop once I turned myself in. But this is about revenge. Whoever this is, they want to hurt me. They killed Molly. They almost killed my whole family.”
Kellan looks down at the phone and back up at me. “What are you going to do?”
I pull the blackmail letter from my purse. “I’m going to find the person who sent this.” I nod to my phone in her hand. “And that. I’m going to stop them before they can hurt anyone else.”
“This person is dangerous, Chels. Do you think you might already know them? Maybe they worked their way into your life and… and waited? All this time?” She frowns, shaking her head. “But why?”
“I don’t know. Tomorrow, I’m going back to Cam’s. I’m going to see about any doorbell cams or security footage. Maybe my neighbours have video that shows who put the letter in the mailbox. It wasn’t stamped. Someone put it there. That’s all I have right now.”
She nods, handing my phone back to me.
As I take it, she keeps a hold on it, looking me in the eyes. “I’m coming with you.”
I shake my head. I don’t want to bring her into it, but she doesn’t let go of the phone.
“I was ready to give up, Kellan. You saw me. I wanted to turn myself in. Now they’re hurting people I care about. I can’t let it happen. If I have to go to the police, then that’s what I’ll do, but I have to be ready for them to see that.” I nod to the phone.
“This was clearly edited. They’ll see that, they’ll also see what the blackmailer wants them to. It’ll be their first impression, and they—they don’t know you like I do.”
“You said you thought you knew me, but you don’t, do you?”
She presses her lips together and looks down at the phone in our hands. “I know none of that was your choice.”
“But it was.”
“John killed Austin. He brought you all into it with him. From everything you’ve told me, you did the best you could, Chels. You’ve carried it alone for a long time. If you want to go to the police, I’ll go with you. If you’re scared of what they’ll think, or that it might provoke the blackmailer to do something worse, I understand. I’m—I’m someone they might target.” She releases the phone and folds her arms over her chest.
She’s right.
“I’m sorry you’re involved in this.” I shove the phone into my purse and walk toward the door. “I shouldn’t have come. I can’t let you—"
“I want to do this,” she says in a firm tone. I turn back to her. “Let me help you.”
I take a deep breath as I wrap her in a hug.
I don’t deserve a friend like her, and she doesn’t deserve one like me for a whole other set of reasons. We’re in this together now. It’s the most relief and hope I’ve felt in a long time.
“Tonight, stay here. Have some tea. Get some sleep.” She squeezes my arms. “Tomorrow, we find who’s doing this.”
I nod, drawing in a shuddering sigh as she holds me.
Whoever sent me the letter and video think they have all the power, but they don’t know the lengths I’m ready to go to for the people I love.
Five years ago, I was forced to help bury a body and cover up a murder.
What happens now is my choice.