The party starts at eight, but no one shows up until ten when everyone piles through the door together. I carry around a plate of cheese and crackers, telling everyone I meet that I’m Mum’s daughter.
‘Annie’s kid? Really?’ ‘You look like her.’ ‘She really does!’ ‘Cute dress!’
‘Want some Brie?’ I ask.
The food runs out quickly. The drinks don’t. Everyone keeps sipping wine and the more they sip, the louder the room gets. Even though it’s freezing out, the windows are open, so people can blow smoke through them. The music gets louder and louder.
‘Apple, Apple, there’s someone you have to meet,’ Mum shouts. She waves at me through the throng of people.
I weave my way towards her. She hands me her glass of red wine. ‘You seem like you need a drink,’ she says. She laughs. The man next to her laughs too. And they’re both watching me. I take a gulp of the wine. It tastes like cough medicine, only worse.
‘This is Merlin,’ Mum says. She pushes the man towards me.
‘As in the druid?’ I ask.
The man nods like a mechanical toy. ‘Exactly. Although my real name’s Martin. But who remembers a name like that?’
I take another swig of wine and shudder. Mum grabs a bottle of Coke from the kitchen counter and uses it to top up the glass.
I stare into the maroon concoction.
‘Don’t look so terrified. It’s calimocho,’ she says.
Merlin sniffs. ‘Not without ice and lemon, it isn’t. Ugh.’ He elbows past Mum and returns thirty seconds later with a fistful of ice, which he throws into my glass, splashing the drink all over my arm. Then he sticks a slice of lemon into it too.
I hope he has clean hands.
‘Now that’s calimocho,’ he says. ‘What do you think?’
I sip the cocktail, expecting it to taste no better, but it is better. It’s sweet with a little fizz. It’s nice and cold. I can hardly taste the wine at all.
I smile.
‘You don’t have to be polite, you know. You can have plain old Coke,’ Mum says. She offers me an empty glass.
I shake my head. ‘It’s good,’ I say.
Mum laughs. ‘A girl after my own heart. Now, Merlin, I have to tell you that Apple didn’t want to wear the dress. But I told her she can’t cover up her curves for ever.’
Merlin’s eyes run up my legs to the dress and follow the lines of my body to my face. I want to tell him I’m only thirteen, but it might be rude to say something like that, so I go quiet instead. I hunch my shoulders to hide myself as much as I can. ‘She’s a beauty all right,’ he says. ‘Like her mother.’ Suddenly he pinches Mum’s bum. I expect her to smack him. Instead, she laughs.
‘Where’s your other one?’ Merlin asks.
‘I don’t know. Apple?’
How should I know where Rain is? She’s probably tucked away somewhere trying to breastfeed.
‘Can you make sure she’s OK?’ Mum asks.
For a second I don’t move. But when Mum tilts her head to the side and smiles, I just want to be useful. ‘Sure,’ I say. It’s a small flat. She can’t be far.
I find her curled up in the top bunk with Jenny. Her eyes are closed. She doesn’t hear me come in. ‘Rain,’ I say. I touch her leg.
She jumps up and pulls out a pair of earphones. ‘What do you want?’ She crawls into the corner where I can’t reach her.
‘Are you OK?’
‘As if you care.’ She sits the doll on her lap and rests her chin on its head.
‘Mum wants to know,’ I say.
‘Well, you can tell Mom I’m fine, except Jenny can’t sleep with all the noise. When are they leaving?’
I shrug. People are still arriving.
‘But it’s almost midnight,’ she says. She points to the clock above the tiny desk we’ll have to share once she starts school.
‘Why don’t you come in and dance or something?’
‘Is that booze?’ she asks, staring at my glass.
‘It’s none of your business. Are you coming or not?’ I ask. I know I’m not being nice. I can’t help it.
Rain pulls the duvet over her head. ‘Get out!’ she shouts.
Back in the sitting room, Mum is standing next to a woman with her hair wrapped in a multi-coloured scarf.
‘Rain’s OK,’ I say.
Mum blinks. ‘Huh? Oh yeah, good. Good.’
‘Who’s this?’ the woman asks.
‘This is Apple, Gina,’ Mum says.
‘Apollinia? No way. My God, I feel old,’ Gina says. She covers her eyes with her hands and screams.
‘Gina was my best friend at school. She’s been babysitting Rain for me,’ Mum says.
‘We were inseparable until . . .’ Gina trails off. She smiles at me awkwardly. I get it. They were friends until I came along and ruined everyone’s fun. But I won’t ruin anyone’s fun now. I guzzle down the last of the calimocho in my glass.
‘Can I get you a drink, Gina?’ I ask.
Gina raises her eyebrows. ‘What have you got?’
‘I’ll make you a calimocho,’ I say.
‘Sounds delicious,’ Gina says.
Mum laughs. ‘My girl,’ she says.