I log out of Facebook in case Nana decides to nose about in my laptop when I’m not here, open a new word processing document and stare at the flashing cursor on the blank page. Then I begin my English homework.
‘Solitude’ by Apple Apostolopoulou
At a crowded school concert, the seats all filled with bums,
I peep out at the audience and I think about my mum.
She should be sitting at the front and listening to me play,
But she is not here,
And is not here,
She’s very far away.
Instead I have to dream of her, in America on her own,
Across the Atlantic Ocean, in another place, another time zone.
Does she close her eyes and think of me?
Does she close her eyes and smile?
Does she plan to come home some day
To be with me,
Her only child?
I stop typing. I’ve written one hundred and one words, which is too many. I delete the last word. Then the one before that. Then the one before that. And I delete and delete and delete until every word is gone. I want to write something interesting and true but I’m scared. What if Mr Gaydon shows Nana what I’ve written at parents’ evening? Worse, what if he makes me read it out loud in class?
I begin my homework again. I don’t bother making it into a poem.
‘Solitude’ by Apple Apostolopoulou
Being alone is not something many people want, but sometimes when you’re alone you can achieve quite a lot. For example, I am alone now, writing this piece of homework, but if my friend Pilar were here I would probably spend the whole time talking to her and being silly and getting nothing done. Also, I wouldn’t want to shower with someone else or use the toilet. Those are private things and being alone is useful when you need privacy. My dad likes to do DIY by himself. I think he likes the private thinking time, and everyone needs that.
I stop when the computer tells me I’ve hit one hundred words. Without proofreading the paragraph or making a single edit, I print the page. It’s a boring answer. It’s only half true. But it’s good enough to stop me getting a detention.