“I feel like I haven’t seen you for months,” Esther told Iolana, as she helped fasten up her red evening gown.
“Ascan wanted to have you and Willa over, but you’re just too popular. I would invite you along now, but it’s not my dinner party.”
“I don’t want to be a third wheel anyway,” said the lizzie. “Maybe we could get together at least once before the wedding. I doubt I’ll see you at all afterwards.”
“And why is that?” wondered Iolana.
“You won’t be able to drag yourself away from his bed.”
Ether’s voice was teasing, but Iolana’s face burned red anyway.
“You must think that I’m horrible.”
“No, but you do strike me as a child who has discovered a brand-new toy. It will be some time before you want to set it down.”
Iolana covered her face with her hands.
“I am horrible, all the more because I don’t think I’ll ever want to, as you put it, set it down.”
“As long as you don’t tear his clothes off at dinner tonight.”
There was a knock at the door.
“Who is it?” called Iolana, pulling her hands from her face and using them to fan herself.
“It’s Willa. Um, you know… Willa number two.”
“Come in. Hopefully you’re here to rescue me from this vicious reptile.”
“Vicious?” said Esther, as Willa Armice let herself in and closed the door behind her. “Which of us acts the true savage, dear sister?”
“Oi, what’s got you so worked up?” asked Willa, looking at Iolana’s still red face. “Thinking about your intended, are you?”
“I should have never brought either of you from Brechalon,” said Iolana, turning and walking into her closet. “You’ve both become incorrigible.”
“What does incorrigible mean then?” Willa asked Esther.
“It means we have a good eye for what’s going on. What are you about?”
“I came in here to see if she had seen you,” explained Willa. “Now that I see she has, I wanted to ask if you feel like going out to dinner.”
“The two of us?”
“The three of us—you, me, and Bob.”
“I was just telling Iolana that I didn’t want to be a third wheel,” said Esther, “and now you show up and ask me to literally be just that.”
“You are literally third,” said Iolana, stepping back out of her closet, fastening a large hat onto her flowing golden hair, by tying a strip of red lace below her chin. “You still aren’t literally a wheel.”
She kissed Willa on the cheek and Esther on the snout, before traipsing out of the room.
“I really wish you would come,” Willa told Esther. “I talked with him several times in Brech City, but I don’t really know his intentions yet, and I don’t want to end up in trouble.”
“Surely you don’t think Bob would force himself on you.”
“I’m more worried about me forcing myself on him. Besides, I already asked him about inviting you and he seemed all for it.”
“He was probably just being polite,” said Esther. “Still, I imagine that’s a good sign. I’ll come along, but if you go wild and attack him like a gharhast ape in heat, well, I can only do so much.”
“Go put on something nice, cheeky old thing,” said Willa. “I’ll do the same and meet you downstairs in the parlor.”
* * * * *
“This is very nice,” said Prince Clitus, as a household lizzie handed him a steaming cup of tea. “I haven’t seen this level of service outside of a five-star hotel. It’s far above what they have at Sinceree Palace, quite honestly.”
“That’s thanks to Mrs. Colbshallow,” said Terra. “She trained most of the lizzies up years ago, and for the most part, they’ve stayed with the family.”
Clitus blew on his tea and then took a sip.
“If you ever become king,” Terra continued. “I don’t think I want to live in Sinceree Palace. I think we should move into Palace Eidenia. It looks like the castles in all the fairy tale books.”
“It is a beautiful piece of architecture,” admitted Clitus. “Don’t get your hopes up about living in either palace though. Now that Henrietta has given Tybalt a legitimate heir and a spare, I’m way down the list. Besides, I think my father may just live forever.”
* * * * *
Ascan was waiting for Iolana at the bottom of the front steps. She skipped down to him and practically leapt upon him. He caught her and kissed her deeply. Then he guided her to the car and lifted her up into the passenger seat.
“I am perfectly capable of boarding a steam carriage myself, Mr. Tice.”
“Oh, I know it. I was just afraid you were going to make a run for it, and I’m not letting you get away.”
“I am very much afraid you are stuck with me, sir.”
“Good to know.”
Ascan stepped to the back to double check the water and coal, before taking his spot behind the wheel. Throwing the gearshift into place, he stepped on the forward accelerator and steered down the drive and out the gait.
It had been a mostly sunny day, but it was still quite chilly with evening coming on. Iolana pulled her coat around herself and looked to the north.
“A storm is rolling in,” she observed. “I hope you don’t mind snow on our wedding day.”
“As long as I have you to keep me warm, I won’t mind,” said Ascan. Then he smiled. “I love how you blush.”
“Too bad. I’m thinking of giving it up. With all the blood rushing to the surface of the skin, I’m afraid my brain will suffer.” Then, under her breath, “It probably already has.”
“Good for the complexion though. Most girls would have a hard time choosing between beauty and brains.”
“Most girls are too stupid to have a choice,” said Iolana. “Most men too, if I were to be truthful.”
“Fortunately, you’ve never had to choose, and never will.”
“You know if you flatter me all the time, I’m going to come to expect it after we’re married.”
“Then I had better stop,” he said. “I don’t want to set the bar too high for myself.”
They reached the Lance residence in only about ten minutes. It was located in what had come to be known as Zaeritown, not too far east of the Dechantagne estate. The modest home of red brick and pine had been purchased just after the Lances had married, and now housed the couple and their two children. Ascan parked behind a brand new bright yellow car.
“I don’t have to guess who this belongs to.”
“Be nice,” warned Iolana.
“Oh, I’ll be perfectly nice. I get along fine with both McCoorts, though I admit, I prefer the older brother.”
Ascan climbed down and then hurried around to help his fiancé. Arm in arm, they walked up the flagstone path, noticing as they approached the door that darkness was falling over the neighborhood. The door opened just as they reached it and Marzell Lance stepped out to greet the couple.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he told Ascan, as they shook hands. “Lady Iolana, you look more lovely than I remember.”
“And you, Marzell, look so handsome and distinguished. You still looked like a boy the last time I saw you.”
He grinned and ushered them through the door.
Once inside, they removed their coats, hanging them up, before proceeding to the parlor. Sherree McCoort and her husband Maro were seated on the sofa. Across from them, on the loveseat, were Sam and Ernst Markham. Everyone stood to greet Ascan and Iolana.
“Congratulations,” said Maro, pumping Ascan’s hand. “How does it feel to be marrying into the wealthiest family in the world?”
“I was thinking of calling the whole thing off,” said Ascan. “You know she can hardly cook.”
“Don’t be daft, man. Her dowry includes a barony in Freedonia. You can hire a dozen cooks.”
“You’ve convinced me.” Ascan turned to Iolana. “The wedding is back on.”
“Thank goodness,” she said.
“Oh, you’re taking the mick,” growled Maro, crossing his arms.
“Don’t be cross,” Iolana told him. “He does it to me all the time. I’m thinking of calling off the wedding.”
“My congratulations too,” said Sam Markham, stepping forward. “The whole community is excited by you getting this one to the shrine.”
“We’re having the wedding there,” said Iolana, “but I’m not converting.”
“Thank goodness for that,” said Sherree, and then glancing at the others. “Um, I mean there’s nothing wrong with it, but she shouldn’t have to change her beliefs to suit a husband.”
“Here, here,” said Maro.
“Sam didn’t make me convert,” said Ernst. “I did it because I wanted to, just like your brother, Maro.”
“Sherree,” said Iolana. “If you start a war, I have to remind you that we’re outnumbered almost two to one, and while I can take Ascan in unarmed combat, I’m not too sure about his sister.”
“There will be no wars allowed until after dinner,” said Willa Lance, arriving from the dining room. “Even then, all battles will be limited to table games.”
Everyone sat down, with the exception of Ernst who stepped over to Iolana’s side.
“Let me see your ring.”
Iolana held out her hand.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” said Ernst. “I think it’ so, so sweet that he gave you his mother’s ring.”
“How did you know that?”
“Oh, everyone knows. You and Ascan are all the ladies at shrine gossip about.”
Willa turned and made a face that only Iolana could see.
“Are you excited for the wedding?” asked Ernst.
“I’m excited to have it done and dusted,” said Iolana. “Then Ascan and I can get on with our lives.”
“Iolana, come help me in the kitchen,” said Willa, getting up. “Perhaps I can show you some pointers so that my brother won’t be so disappointed.”
“I wish you would,” said Iolana, following.
As she left the room, she could hear Sherree speaking meekly.
“I wasn’t trying to speak ill of you, Ernst.”
Iolana and her friend arrived in the kitchen to watch three lizzies distributing food from the stove to a staging area, where the dishes were given their final touches.
“What was that look you gave me?” wondered Iolana.
“Oh. Ernst saying that you’re all the women at shrine talk about. She is, in fact, the subject of most gossip, but she doesn’t know that because they don’t talk when she’s around.”
“What do they say about her?”
“It’s that her two boys look like their father, but her daughter is a little blondie.”
“But Ernst is blond—really blond.”
“I know. It’s all just idle gossip. Kind of makes you glad you’re not converting, doesn’t it?
“Oh, I doubt it’s much different from the women at church.”
* * * * *
“Good evening, Lady Esther, Miss Lance,” greeted the young woman at the restaurant’s entrance. “You have a handsome gentleman with you. Is it three for dinner or are you expecting another?”
“Three it is, Miss Finkler,” replied Esther.
“Right this way.”
“This seems like a very nice place,” said Bob, looking around.
“Oh, the food here is wonderful,” said Willa. “It is horribly expensive though. I hope you’ll let Esther and me treat you.”
“That would hardly be proper, since I invited you out to dinner.”
They stopped at a table near the center of the room. The hostess pulled out a chair for Esther, while Bob helped Willa into her seat. Miss Finkler then guided Bob to his own.
“A word to the wise, sir,” she said in his ear. “Women appreciate a man who is strong enough to allow them to be empowered.”
“I was an early supporter of the suffragettes, you know,” he said, dropping into his seat. “If you really feel like you want to pay, who am I to object.”
“It’s really Lord Dechantagne’s money,” said Willa. “He’s given me an allowance while I’m living in his house. Can you believe it?”
“Then I shall order something expensive,” said Bob.
“That’s what I always do,” said Esther.
* * * * *
“I had no idea that you were such a wonderful cook,” said Iolana. “Ascan really should call off the wedding. I won’t ever be able to make anything this wonderful.”
Arrayed across the table were large platters filled with schnitzel, buttered carrots, fried potatoes, and green beans with bacon. Whole grain breads, several different cheeses, and pickles rounded out the meal.
“Oh, he can always come over here to eat,” said Willa. “He can bring you with him. That will give you an excuse to visit.”
“You shall see a great deal of me, I’m sure.”
“I doubt you’ll need to do much cooking, Iolana,” said Sherree. “You’re going to be inundated with dinner invitations. I hope you’ll accept mine.”
“We would love to have you both to dinner,” said her husband. “In fact, the eight of us should get together on a regular basis.”
“That sounds lovely,” said Ernst, “providing we all have suitable care for our children.”
“Where are all the kids?” wondered Iolana.
“We have a whole crew of lizzies taking care of our girls,” bragged Maro.
“Yes, our two are upstairs with the lizzie nurse,” said Marzell.
“My sister has Tillie and the boys,” said Ernst.
“I sold Hans to some wandering traders,” said Ascan. “He was getting to be too much trouble.”
Sherree and Ernst gasped, but Willa laughed.
“There you see my brother’s humor again, Maro. He says that with a straight face, but he’d kill or die for that boy.”
“Of course I would,” said Ascan, his eyes suddenly dark and serious.
“I don’t know about all of you,” said Iolana, “but I’m quite famished. Are we going to eat or just look at all this food?”
“We should definitely eat,” said Marzell, picking up the platter full of schnitzel and passing it to Sherree.”
* * * * *
“You were both right,” said Bob. “This has to have been the finest meal I’ve ever eaten, and mind you, I’ve eaten in a number of palaces.”
“Not in the dining rooms though,” said Esther.
He smiled. “Willa can tell you that the food is always better in the staff halls.”
“Yes, that is true,” Willa confirmed.
She looked up and both Bob and Esther turned to see what she was looking at. A man had stepped up behind them, and now scooted around so that he could face all three.
“Good evening, Lady Esther,” he said. “I trust you are having a lovely evening.”
“I was, Mr. Krause. Bob Fitzroy, Willa Armice, this is Mr. Anson Krause.”
“Good evening,” said Bob.
“A pleasure,” said Krause. “I won’t keep you from your dinner. Good night.”
He turned and headed toward the restaurant’s exit.
“I’ve lost my appetite,” said Esther, pushing away the plate containing her lobster.
“Not one of your favorite people, I take it,” said Bob.
“You could say that,” said Esther. “In fact, you just did. I’ll tell you all about it later. There’s no need to ruin all of our meals.”
* * * * *
“I hope everyone got enough to eat,” said Willa Lance, stepping back into the dining room.
The table had been completely cleared of dinner and now her husband was distributing scoreboards and pegs for canals.
“If I eat anything else this evening, I shall simply explode,” said Ernst.
“No exploding allowed,” said Willa, taking her seat.
“All right, everyone,” said Marzell, starting to shuffle. “Standard rules.”
“How is your famous cousin, Ernst?” asked Iolana. “I haven’t seen her in a while. Well, I haven’t seen her in years and years, but it’s been over a year since I talked to her through the magic mirror that she gave me.”
“Ooh, magic mirror,” said Marzell. “Sounds like you’re the sorceress’s little pet.”
“You would know,” Ascan told him. “You dated her for almost a year.”
“She was a lot younger then. Well, we both were. Still—scariest eight months, three days, and fourteen hours of my life.”
“Mind what you say,” said Ernst. “She always knows, and she has a tendency to show up when you mention her name.”
“You don’t mean she eavesdrops on people, do you?” asked Willa.
Ernst moved her head barely enough to nod. “That incident with the wizard cabal a few years ago has made her a little paranoid.”
“It’s not paranoia when someone is really out to get you,” growled Maro. “And I for one, do not mind if Senta shows up.”
“Well, I don’t mind either,” said Ernst. “Only it’s not my house and… well, you need even numbers for canals.”
* * * * *
“The wedding is the day after tomorrow,” said Terra, sipping her tea. “Do you think you’re ready to appear in the shrine?”
“I dare say I am,” her husband replied. “With Iolana and you at the altar, I doubt anyone will be looking at me.”
“You underestimate your appeal, and besides, there is no alter in the shrine.”
“I’m sure it will all go swimmingly,” he said.
“I am worried.”
“Why are you worried, Brownie? Everything seems in order.”
“I’m not worried about the wedding or the shrine.”
“What are you worried about then?” he asked.
“Senta said she would be back to talk to you that evening, and that was three days ago.”
“Perhaps she’s just been busy.”
“Oh, you are so right, my little prince,” said Senta, suddenly right beside him. She laughed when Clitus jumped. “I’ve been very busy indeed.”
“It’s about time,” said Terra.
Senta, in turn, jumped to find the princess right next to her, instead of on the other side of the coffee table where she had been just a second before. The Princess didn’t laugh. Instead, she looked at the sorceress with a stony face, her dark brown eyes boring into her.
“Cozy,” said the sorceress, getting up and stepping around to where the Princess had originally been sitting. She oozed down into the seat and crossed her legs, and both royals could see that she was wearing nothing under her short leather skirt.
“One of your men tried to kill me, or rather, he tried to have me killed. He was in league with a sorcerer who planned to attack me while I was unprepared. Unfortunately for him, I’m never unprepared.”
“Clitus knew nothing about it,” said Terra. “This man was working on his own.”
“I have no doubt of your husband’s innocence,” said Senta. “You on the other hand, your petit highness, are something else altogether different. You were always such a dull child. Now here you are… not really grown up, but somehow very formidable. I find it a little bit…” She bit her lip. “Exciting. Now, I’m no hoyden, like your mother, but maybe the three of us…”
“I don’t share my husband and he would never share me.”
“Pity.”
“What about her mother?” asked Clitus.
“Oh yes. She’s become quite the todger-dodger.” The sorceress leaned forward. “There are a lot more of them than you think.”
“Never mind my mother,” said Terra, her voice low.
“Quite right. Let’s get back to my murderers, attempted anyway.”
“What makes you think he was one of my men?” asked Clitus, frowning.
“Oh, I think we all know Mr. Meanie was your man.”
“Meanie? Is he dead?”
“I refrained for the sake of our friendship, but he has been in hospital this past fortnight—something he ate, I’m afraid.”
“I’ll make sure that everyone in my organization knows that you are off limits,” the Prince told the sorceress.
“That’s very nice,” Senta looked at the Princess. “And you?”
“If I ever decide you need killing, I’ll do it myself,” said Terra, “and you’ll know it was me, as I’ll be looking in your eyes as I do it.”
“You are so sweet,” said Senta. “Cute too… like a clootie dumpling.”
She snapped her fingers and was gone.