On the morning of the twentieth of Magnius, the Dechantagne family gathered in the dining room for breakfast. There was a smattering of conversation, but it was much quieter than normal, considering the number of people. Iolana stared at her eggs, bacon, tomatoes, and beans. She felt a hand on her arm and stared at it for a moment before her eyes followed it up into the face of Prince Clitus.
“You’re looking a little pale,” he said. “If you can’t manage eggs or beans, how about a piece of toast.”
He retrieved a toast caddy and held it in front of her. Iolana stared at it for a moment before taking a piece.
“I know a wedding day can be overwhelming,” he continued, “but I dare say, you’ll get through it all right.”
“Do you really think so?” she asked in a very small voice.
“Eat the toast.”
“All right there, cuz?” called Augie from his spot in the center of the gathering. “It’s an historic day. You’re the last of our generation to tie the knot.”
Iolana nodded and pushed the toast into her mouth.
“Maybe you can cheer her up, Brownie,” the Prince suggested to his wife.
“It’ll all be over soon,” she said.
“I was hoping that maybe you could give her a bit more encouragement than that.”
“No, that was helpful,” said Iolana. “I need to keep my eye on the goal, which is to be with Ascan.”
“Sister?” Augie called to Terra. “Are you up to meeting some visitors?”
“Of course,” she answered, getting up and following around the table.
By the time they both arrived at the north entrance, they found two ornately festooned lizzies.
“Sister, please allow me to introduce Princess Tokkaran and Ambassador Klu,” said Augie, effortlessly flipping between two languages. “Ladies, this is Princess Terra, the Duchess of Argower, Kaetarrnaya Suusuuestho Saskhorha.”
Both lizzies put their hands to their necks.
“It is a great privilege to stand before you,” said Tokkaran. “I have heard the stories of your visit to Yessonarah a thousand times. They are my favorites.”
“That’s very nice,” said Terra. “I believe I remember you, Klu. Weren’t you an egg keeper?”
“It is so,” said Klu. “We were both smaller then.”
“I’ve not grown much taller,” said Terra, “though I have expanded in other directions.”
“Why are you so fat?” asked Tokkaran.
Klu hissed and clamped her clawed hand over the other lizzie’s mouth.
“She is gravid, you young fool.”
“No offense taken,” said Terra. “I have often asked myself why I am so fat?”
“Will you lay your eggs after you visit Yessonarah?” continued Tokkaran. “Or must you wait until afterwards to make the trip?”
“It is not certain that I will be able to make the trip.”
“You must come! There will be a great festival in your honor. You know that there is a great monument to you. You must see it.”
“What about me?”
Terra turned to find Iolana at her elbow, along with Clitus.
“Is there a monument to me?” asked Iolana.
“Who are you?” wondered Tokkaran.
“Who am I? I am a very good friend of your King. I saved her life! I stopped a war!” Iolana blinked twice and stuck her chin into the air. “I was… well, I am… Stahwasuwasu Zrant.”
“Yes, I have heard of you,” said Klu.
The other lizzie turned to her and gave an inquisitive hiss.
“She is the one that helped Tokkenoht during the Gold War.”
Tokkaran hissed knowingly.
“You would be welcome in Yessonarah too,” she said.
“No moment though, eh?” smirked Augie, in Brech.
“What’s the matter?” wondered Clitus. “What’s going on?”
“You should declare war on the lizzies immediately,” growled Iolana.
“And you should know these fine ladies understand our language, cuz,” said Augie. “She was making a joke,” he told them.
“Well, I was half joking,” said Iolana, turning on a heel and stomping back to her seat at breakfast.
“Are we… are we in danger of war?” asked Clitus, nervously.
“That’s all in the past,” said Augie, clapping him on the shoulder. “They want to invite you and your wife to Yessonarah.”
“Oh, I really wish we could go, but it’s just not possible. I can’t be dragging Terra off into the unknown, not in her condition. And by the time she could be ready for such a trip, we’ll be back home in Brechalon.”
Terra turned and smiled at him.
“We will discuss it later and then decide.”
She patted him on the cheek and started back around the table toward her seat.
“Um, no. It’s already decided,” he said following her.
* * * * *
Iolana climbed into the back of the car, careful not to catch the hem of her gown as she did so. Esther was already seated next to her. Willa stepped in after her and took the front passenger spot. A moment later, Marzell climbed behind the steering wheel.
“Are we all set?” he asked, glancing back.
“I’m going to vomit,” said Iolana.
“Just lean your head over the side,” suggested Esther.
“No, no,” said Willa, handing back a metal pail. “I brought this for just this situation.”
Iolana put the pail in her lap and stuck her face down over the brim, but she didn’t vomit.
Marzell shifted into gear and drove away from the mansion and out the front gate. The road was clear. It had, in fact, been blocked off from the Dechantagne estate to the Zaeri shrine. Both sides of the road, however, were lined with people. There were large crowds near the gate and then it thinned out, but there was no spot all along the way that didn’t have at least some onlookers. There were a fairly large number of lizzies among them too.
“I can’t believe all these people want to see me on my wedding day,” said Iolana, looking around.
“They’re here to see Terra and Clitus,” said Esther.
“Oh,” said Iolana, putting her face back in the bucket.
Esther shrugged when Willa shot her a reprimanding look.
It didn’t take long to reach the Zaeri shrine. The impressive structure faced First Avenue, from the corner of Gerechten Iolanthe Way. Designed Zereb Kremmik in Zurian revival style, it was supported by four massive columns at each corner over which soared a large dome. The facade was covered in finely hewn stone and incorporated sixteen-foot high window arches. The height of the shrine to the bottom of its dome was around fifty-six feet, and to the top of the dome it was eighty-four. Twelve windows were placed around the base of the dome, which was surrounded by a veranda. Had it been built in most cities, the shrine would have been seen from miles around, but here in Port Dechantagne, surrounded by immense redwood trees and maples, it was almost a surprise coming upon it. None of this held much interest for Iolana, and not just because she had seen it before.
Marzell brought the car to a stop in the back of the building, and the four occupants climbed down and entered a relatively small back room. Esther pulled some chairs into a rough circle and they sat down.
“How is your tummy?” she asked Iolana.
“It’s apparently full of some kind of hydraulic cement, though I’m not sure when I ate it.”
“Just take some deep breaths, and keep that bucket handy,” advised Willa.
The door opened and Terra and Maria stepped inside, followed by Ryan Stigby.
“How is the bride?” asked Maria.
“She’ll be fine,” said Esther, “eventually.”
“I have no doubt of that. I’ve seen the groom, and he looks quite posh in his black suit. You’ll be glad you grabbed hold of him, Iolana, when all the other women get a look at him today.”
The door at the other end of the room opened and a tall, elderly gentleman entered. None of his seventy-three years had bent the shoulders of Zeah Korlann, though they had taken his hair to completely silver and no longer completely covering the dome of his head. He walked with a cane but managed to make it seem like he didn’t need it. Terra immediately jumped to her feet and rushed to his side, squeezing him around the middle and tucking herself under his shoulder.
“Oh, Grandpa! I’m so happy to see you!”
Zeah kissed the top of her head.
“I was beginning to think you had forgotten your old grandpa. You’ve been here five days and I’ve not had a single visit.”
“You’re right. I’ve been horrible.”
“You can make it up to me by making sure we get to spend some time together. Bring your Prince along too. I’m anxious to meet the man who thinks he’s good enough for my sweet little girl.”
He looked to Iolana and held out his hand. She rushed to his side just like Terra had and found a place opposite her.
“Thank you for coming, Mr. Korlann.”
“Ah! That’s not what you call me.”
“That was when I was a child. I didn’t want to presume…” she said. “Thank you for coming, Grandpa.”
“You will always be my grandchild, just like Augie and Terra. After all, you three have grown up as close as siblings.” He kissed her on the forehead. “I was very sad to miss Terra’s wedding, but I was just too ill to make the trip. I’m glad that I get to be here for yours. How do you feel?”
“Shaky.”
“Just remember, Iolana. This is your day. It doesn’t matter if a prince or princess is standing beside you, or a king for that matter. You are the star of this day. All eyes will be on you.”
The prospective bride took half a step away and stood up straight.
“You’re right,” she nodded, raising her chin. “This is my day. Yes. Thank you for reminding me.”
“Then, if you’re ready,” said Zeah. “They sent me to bring you all to your places.”
“I’m ready,” said Iolana. “Come along girls.”
She started for the door through which he had entered, still clutching his arm. Terra came right along with them. The others got up and followed. Maria clutched Esther’s arm and leaned in.
“Maybe I shouldn’t say this,” she said, “but I was starting to get the impression that Iolana thought she was the star of every day.”
“Oh, she does,” said Esther. “She would never say so though, because that would make her sound vain.”
* * * * *
Zaeri weddings were solemn affairs, without any type of song or hymn. Music was instead a large part of reception held afterwards. The Tice-Staff wedding was not a traditional Zaeri wedding, despite it’s being performed in the shrine by the imam. Even so, the traditional wedding march used in the churches of the world, Kafira’s Marriage, would have been unthinkable. Instead, as the participants took their places, a recording of Bankett’s Sixth Symphony played from above the packed assembly.
Iolana smiled to see Ascan standing across from her, looking, as described, posh in his black suit. Anyone else might have considered him outshone by his best man, an actual prince, in the crimson and black uniform of the Royal Brech Army, a chest covered with metals, but to his bride’s eyes, there was no one else present. He gave her a wink, making her blush.
Standing next to Clitus were Marzell and Sam Markham, Ascan’s two best friends. Standing to the left of Iolana were Terra, Willa Lance, and Esther.
Casting a long glance back behind her, Iolana was amazed by the many familiar faces. She could make out her mother, Auntie Yuah and Gladys; Augie, Maria, and Zoey all sitting together, Sherree and her husband, Mrs. Colbshallow and her granddaughter, and the Baxter family. The only three empty seats in the vast building were those to the right of Senta Bly. To her left sat a man with a long, pointed nose and bushy whiskers, who the young woman immediately recognized as the human form of Bessemer, the steel dragon.
Mr. Clipers stepped up between the bride and groom and the music ceased. With a quick smile to each of them, he began his ceremonial duties, keeping the use of Zurian to a minimum. It was a service that had been negotiated between the imam, Maria, and Iolana’s mother. If it wasn’t quite what the Zaeri were used to in a wedding ritual, it wasn’t quite what the Kafirites were used to either, at least until it came down to the final words.
“Do you, Ascan, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, with a solemn vow before God, these witnesses, and this assembly, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love her and to cherish her for so long as you both shall live?”
“I do.”
“And do you, Iolana, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, with a solemn vow before God, these witnesses, and this assembly, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to honor him and to obey him for so long as you both shall live?”
“I do vow to love and cherish him.”
“I’ll take it,” said Ascan.
Mr. Clipers glanced quickly around.
“In that case, you may now place the ring on her finger.”
Ascan reached back and Clitus handed him the wedding ring.
“I give this ring,” he said, as he slipped it on Iolana’s finger, “in pledge of my love and devotion. With this ring, I thee wed.”
Mr. Clipers continued. “Having exchanged their vows before God, these witnesses, and this assembly, and having declared the same by the exchange of ring, I now pronounce that they are husband and wife. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.”
The traditional music played at the end of Kafirite weddings, Ode to Celebration, not a religious piece in the strictest sense, was played as the couples filed down the aisle toward the door. Likewise, the tradition of throwing rice and shoes was in evidence. Iolana noticed none of these things as she was led from the shrine by her new husband.
At the end of the flagstone walkway, he lifted her into the front passenger seat of his car. Her eyes continued to follow him as he hurried around and stepped up into the driver’s position.
“You’re so beautiful,” she said.
“I think that’s my line.”
“Can we go home now?”
“I’m afraid not,” he replied. “We have to appear at the reception, and I don’t think we’ll be able to sneak off before it’s over.”
“Yes, that’s true.” She nodded. “I think I can make it through though because… well, because I don’t live there anymore.” Her eyes opened wide. “I have everything I ever wanted. My life is perfect.”
Ascan grinned, and shifting the car into gear, shot away from the curb.
“Look at all the people who came out to see you.”
“They’re only here to see Clitus and Earthworm.”
“But they’re waving to you.”
Iolana looked around. Sure enough, there were more than a few people along the edge of the street that were waving. She waved back timidly. Then she quickly glanced over her shoulder to see if the royal couple were following. If they were, they were out of eyesight. After that, she waved with much more enthusiasm.
Pulling up in front of the Dechantagne mansion, Ascan looked around, seeing the long line of cars.
“Here comes everyone else.”
“Well, we’ll just have to try and enjoy ourselves,” said Iolana. “Do you think you can? You know, they all really like you.”
“That’s nice, I suppose.”
“You don’t really care if they like you or not, do you?”
He smiled and shook his head.
“Not really.”
“Let’s go in.”
He hopped out and walked around.
“Oh, I forgot to ask,” said Iolana, as he helped her down from the car. “Do you have a mistress?”
“What?”
“A mistress. Do you have one?”
“I forgot how crazy you people are,” he said with a frown.
“What people?”
“Kafirites. Brechs. Dechantagnes.”
“Well, I can’t contradict you on any of those three, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable for a wife to ask if her husband has a mistress. Most men do.”
“Most men do not,” he stated. “Wealthy men, wealthy Brech aristocrats… ones who married for wealth or position instead of for love, have mistresses, perhaps. The vast majority of the other ninety-nine-point-nine percent of us do not.”
“I guess you didn’t need one with Noémi.”
“No, I didn’t,” he said.
“I’m not her though.”
“You don’t need to be. You’re you. Iolana, there will never be another woman but you.”
He took her hand and led her up the steps.
“Just so you know,” she said. “I wasn’t going to allow you to have one anyway. I would have found something objectionable, no matter who you chose.”
* * * * *
The wedding reception was very similar to Iolanthe’s surprise birthday party, though the decorations were different. There were somewhat fewer local dignitaries and a few more friends and family, but the string quartet was the same. They played a long selection of pieces that had been chosen from among Iolana’s favorites.
“How are you feeling?” asked Esther, as she steered Iolana away from a cluster of young women fawning over her wedding gown.
“I’m glad that the wedding is over. Now if I can only get through this bit.”
“The time will zip by. Soon everyone will start dancing, and then they’ll eat, and then they will rush home for a nap.”
“Since when did you become such an expert on wedding receptions?” Iolana asked the lizzie.
“I’ve been attending all of Maria’s strategy sessions. I’m well up to speed.”
“How are you, cuz?” asked Terra, joining the other two.
“I just asked her that,” said Esther.
“Well, as I heard neither question nor answer, I’m asking again.”
“I’m fine,” said Iolana. “Does Clitus have a mistress?”
“Certainly not,” said Terra. “Why?”
“Well, I was just wondering. What if he wants something different or you get tired of doing it?”
“Are you getting tired of it already?”
“No. As a matter of fact,” Iolana’s face blushed, “I can’t quite understand why we aren’t doing it all the time.”
“One does have to eat,” said Esther. “And bathe occasionally.”
“It seems this is the perfect time to give you your wedding present,” said Terra, holding up a heretofore unnoticed wrapped package and thrusting it into Iolana’s hands. “You’ll want to open it in here.”
Terra guided Iolana into an alcove and Esther followed.
“You’ll love it. It’s a book.”
Iolana carefully removed the wrapping, handing it to Esther, and then looked at the cover.
“Vie Passionnée ? Oh, good. I thought I was going to have to buy a copy of this, but that would mean I would probably have to buy it from Sherree.”
“I thought you were friends now,” said Esther.
“We’re closer than before, but still…”
“I can’t believe how different she is,” said Terra, looking out of the alcove at Sherree on the other side of the room talking to Ernst Markham and her sister Didrika Stephenson. “You know, Iolana, she kind of looks like if you and I had a child together.”
“What a horrendous thought,” said her cousin. “You’ve dog-eared the pages!”
“I marked the good bits for you. No need to thank me.”
The new bride opened the book to one of the marked pages.
“Golly, that looks like it would really hurt.”
“It’s not really painful at all, if you’ve done your preparation.”
“You’ve done it?” gasped Iolana.
Terra gave her a bland look.
“Oh, I forgot who I was talking to. You’ve mastered it, haven’t you?” She turned to another page, gasped, and showed it to Terra. “I know you haven’t done this.”
“No, but if Clitus evidence any interest in it, I would.”
“What a little strumpet you turned out to be,” said Iolana.
“Said the girl who couldn’t figure out why they aren’t doing it all the time.”
“You’re right. I’m as bad as you.”
“The point of me giving you the book,” said Terra, “was for you to be as good as me. You can’t be, of course, but you can at least aspire to it.”
“Enough, you two,” said Esther. “They’re about to start dancing and I think your husbands are looking for you.”
The three of them stepped out of the alcove. Iolana handed her present to a household lizzie with instructions to take it to her room. As she turned back around, her groom latched onto her.
“Are you ready? They’re signaling that it’s time for our first dance.”
“Who’s signaling?”
He pointed to Augie, who was just getting everyone’s attention by hitting a spoon on his wineglass.
“Ladies and gentlemen, if they would be so kind as to take the floor, I give you Mr. and Mrs. Tice.”
“It’s Mister and Professor,” said Iolana, under her breath.
“I will make sure everyone knows how to address our mail,” said Ascan, taking her in his arms.
Iolana danced with Ascan and then with her grandfather. After that, the men at the reception gave her no chance to rest. She took a twirl with Clitus, Marzell, and Sam, and even Mr. Clipers. She was just looking for a seat when she was grabbed hold of by Tiber Stephenson and spun back out onto the floor.
“Well, Yolie,” he said with a smirk. “If only I had known it was a waiting game, I would have held out longer for you.”
“Please. Your wife is very lovely.”
“She is. But you, my dear, are stunning.”
“Who would have thought?” she said. “Little old roly-poly me.”
“Now you’re just roly-poly in all the right places,” he said as his hand crept down to her hip.
She reached down and moved it back to her waist.
“Don’t make me kick you in the goolies. You know I’ll do it.”
He grinned.
“I should tell you that the best man won… but I didn’t. I hope you’ll be very happy. However, if you ever get tired of broxy and decide you want to try a beef steak, you’ll know where to find me.”
“How many women in this room have you had your way with, Tiber?”
He looked around.
“Fewer than half actually.”
Iolana was just about to make good on her threat to kick him when the piece ended and he was replaced by Mr. Baxter, who was of course as perfect a gentleman as Tiber was imperfect.
“Your father would have been very proud of you,” he said.
“He always wanted me to marry.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about. He would be proud of all that you’ve accomplished.”
“Thank you, Mr. Baxter. My father liked you very much.”
After the dance with Mr. Baxter, Iolana found herself in the arms of her male cousin.
“How are we doing, cuz?” asked Augie.
“We’re about to faint dead away if we can’t get a bit of rest and a bit of something on our stomach.”
Augie lifted his hand in a signal to someone Iolana couldn’t see. A few seconds later, the music faded away and Maria could be heard inviting attendees to partake of the catered offerings.
“Your wish is my command,” Augie said. “At least today.”
“I take back all the things I’ve ever said about you,” she said, looking around for Ascan, finally locating him, and starting across the room.
“What have you said about me?” she could hear Augie demand from where he was left standing.
“Eat quickly,” Iolana told her new husband. “I want to get out of here.”
“I’m afraid we have to stay until you’ve opened all the presents. That shouldn’t take more than four or five hours from the looks of the stack.”
She felt a hand on her arm and turned around to find Maria next to her.
“You really must stay to open your presents,” she said. “However, if you want to step away for a bit, it should be another hour before everyone has finished eating. Then you can come down and cut the cake and then open the presents.”
“That sounds good,” said Iolana.
“Go on up and take a nap. I’ll send a lizzie to get you when the time comes.”
“Thank you, Maria. We’re going to relax and do a bit of reading.”
Ascan rolled his eyes.
“Don’t worry,” said Iolana leading him from the room. “You’ll like this book.”