III
“It was about three years ago that I found myself sitting in this very same courtroom facing Judge Ransom and Mr. Cain. I was looking at a very long time in prison. I had to face the exact same people I’m facing today, only now the roles are slightly different. The only thing that isn’t the same is that I’m representing myself now. I don’t have the same attorney I had before.
“The sentence I faced was fifteen years to life. If I pleaded guilty, the lowest prison time I’d serve would be fifteen years. On the other hand, if I chose to go to trial and lost, I’d be facing a maximum sentence of life in prison.
“Now, I’m not sure what’s going on in your minds right now, but as for me, I’m thinking I was in a lose-lose type of situation. Without a shadow of a doubt, I know I’ve been through a lot in my life. I’ve been set up, robbed, and shot at a few times. But there’s nothing—and I do mean nothing—that could send me running to God the way facing a life sentence would. It brought me to my knees, and all I could do was call on the name of Jesus. It was at that point in my life that I began to develop a deeper relationship with the Lord.
“Now, I don’t want you boys getting all worked up thinking I’m about to preach a sermon to you, but I’m not ashamed to give Jesus the glory for what he’s done in my life. I’m not ashamed of my faith in him, either.
“I’ll be totally honest with you guys. I don’t know what this experience of doing time is like for you, but I do know what the experience of doing time is like for me. I know what it feels like to regret a bad decision that seemed like it was the only logical choice I had at that time.”
Donnell looks around at the boys’ faces. “I have a question to ask all of you,” he says. “Which one of you is the oldest, and who’s the youngest?”
Two boys raise their hands as giggles permeate the room.
“OK, all right, I get it!” Donnell exclaims. He points to one youngster. “So, what’s your name, and how old are you, my man?”
Pointing at himself, a puny teenager with low-cut hair and ears that seem too large for his head says, “Are you talking to me?”
“Yeah, you raised your hand when I asked who was the youngest, right?”
“Yes. My name is Brandon Bright, and I’m sixteen.”
“Sixteen, huh? So, what about you in the back of the room who raised your hand. What’s your name and age?”
When the second kid stands up, his stature is surprising. He is about six feet five, with reddish hair, and he’s completely covered in freckles. He kind of reminds Donnell of the little boy who played the sheriff’s son on The Andy Griffith Show.
“My name is Nisvet Ibricic, and I’m eighteen,” the boy says.
“You got a unique name, and you’re quite tall, too, I see! Allow me to address the youngest. Brandon, I believe you said is your name, right? What is your understanding about the situation you’re in right now?” Donnell asks.
“I really can’t tell you too much about it. I’ve only been locked up for two months now, but to me, I’ve been locked up my whole life,” Brandon replies. “I don’t want to sound rude or smart to you, but I don’t view this situation as though I had a choice. If you ask me, I feel like this situation kinda chose me without my permission.”
“What makes you say that?” Donnell asks.
“Not to offend you, Mr. White, but you asked, and I can only keep it real with my answers. I pretty much have been on my own since I was born. I never really had a father, and my mom ended up like he did. All I’ve had so far is me, myself, and I. You see the parents of my homies here today, but the one thing you don’t see is either one of my parents in attendance. You got your story, and I got mine.”
Donnell leans back in his chair and then leans forward. He pauses for a second to gather his thoughts and then says, “Wow, you got some issues that need to be dealt with before you self-destruct, my man. The one thing I can say is that I was kind of like you are now when I was your age. Sounds like you’ve come down with a condition often referred to as ‘entitlement.’ Not to worry, though; it’s a condition that effects most people in a very common way.
“Entitlement is when you think you’re owed or should receive something just based on your relationship to someone. I see you doing everything out of impulse, like I used to do. I personally didn’t think that anybody could teach me anything that I didn’t already know or couldn’t teach myself. There’s an old saying that if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re gonna keep getting what you keep getting. I have found out that you can’t live in this world all by yourself. We are all going to need somebody, and you’re no different. You just haven’t realized that yet.
“But it’s OK,” Donnell continues. “You just keep on living, young man, and I promise it’ll come to you. If we both can agree on something, it most likely will be that we both have our stories. Our common ground is that we can both respect each other’s struggles.
“If you will allow me to, I’d like to share a story with you and everyone else in this courtroom this morning. It’s about a man who has had his share of life’s ups and downs. The thing is, though, this guy refuses to allow the mistakes of his past to stop him from what he sees himself as in the future.”