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Andrew was barely aware of stripping off his jeans then fumbling to grab a condom from the wallet he’d left on the nightstand. He unwrapped the rubber and rolled it on, mostly thanks to muscle memory. Susan lay in the middle of the bed, looking better than any fantasy, blue eyes watching his every move.
He wedged her legs apart with his knee and rested his hands on the mattress on either side of her head. She traced her palms up his arms, and he realized he was shaking. Impatience was a bitch. He ducked his head to kiss her again, fueling a new spark of desire. He knelt upright, then used one hand to guide his cock into her.
She winced when he nudged the head in.
“You okay?” he asked.
She nodded. “Keep going.”
It took the last of his restraint to ease in, filling her up, sliding inside her tight, wet hole. The friction and the way her muscles twitched around him threatened to make him come. He pumped at a slow pace, measuring her responses, and letting her moans and soft cries force every other thought out of his head.
As she relaxed under him, pushing into his pelvis and matching his rhythm, he picked up speed. When he pinned her knees to her chest, she shifted her ass. She gasped as he struck inside her deep and hard. Her breath came in short bursts, then pants, as he slammed against her. He couldn’t hold back any more. Each new thrust traveled from his dick and ran through his body, stealing reason and leaving need in its place.
He couldn’t take his eyes off Susan. How her face screwed up in pleasure. The winces that accompanied each groan. The flutter of her eyelids, like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to watch or sink into her other senses. Her pussy tightened, squeezing his shaft. He let go of one leg, to lean forward and roll a nipple between his fingers. To kiss her and steal her soft cries.
He wanted a witty comment, but all he could find was, “Fuck. You feel incredible.”
She managed a smile. “Better than you know.”
He massaged her breast and pinched the swollen nub, hammering inside her at the same time. His balls tightened, but he wasn’t ready to let go yet. Dots swam in front of his eyes. She was close; he could tell from the way she milked him. He moved his mouth to her neck and sucked the tender flesh hard, to mark her.
She dug her fingers into his arms and arched her back, a scream tearing from her throat when orgasm hit her. The pressure around his cock grew, tightening and releasing in spasms, pushing him past the edge of control. He squeezed his eyes shut, and a million stars danced behind the lids when he came. He couldn’t ease up yet. Not when she continued to grind against him. Not with the intense pleasure flowing through him.
The edge faded from his climax, and he slowed reluctantly and out of necessity, until he stopped.
He forced his eyes open, to see her watching him, a mischievous smirk on her full lips. “So that’s sex, huh?” Her question rasped out.
“Those are the basics.” He eased out slowly, letting go of her other leg Before he leaned in for another kiss. Her chest heaved and a faint shine of sweat glowed across her face and body. Gorgeous.
“That was a little more than basic. I know. I’ve seen internet porn.”
“Have you?” He stripped off the condom and wrapped it in a tissue so he could throw it out. “I’d like to watch that.”
“The porn? I think you’ve already seen it.”
“No. I’d like to watch you watching.”
Her flushed cheeks darkened further. “There’s always next time.”
He stood, and wobbled for a minute before catching his balance. “Wait right here.” A moment later, he returned with water for her then dropped onto the bed next to her, legs refusing to support his weight any longer.
He lay on his side and patted the mattress. “Sleepy yet?”
“No.” She curled up next to him and rested her forehead against his chest. “Thank you.”
He didn’t think anyone had ever thanked him for sex and didn’t know what the appropriate reply was. He settled for draping an arm over her and planting a kiss on the top of her head.
Within a few minutes, her breathing was slow and steady, and she relaxed limply in his arms. Asleep. With the haze of lust fading, the real world filtered back in, along with his own words from so many years ago—courtesy of a recent reminder. Monogamy is fine for romantics and sheep, but I’m never tying myself to only one person. How long until he had to break Susan’s heart? “I’m sorry,” he whispered in the quiet room.
“Me too.” She snuggled closer.
The simple reply left a sharp jabbing pain in his chest. So much for her being asleep.
* * * *
ANDREW AND SUSAN MADE it back to the hospital with breakfast for Kandace. Lucas complained when he didn’t get any. That was a good sign.
Susan spent half of the day flushed from memories of the night before. The light throb between her legs was a pleasant reminder. Did what happened show? She swore everyone was watching her. Which was ridiculous. They were focused on Lucas, as they should be. But wow. When could she and Andrew do that again?
The problem with that question was the one it led to. What did his muttered apology mean? She didn’t think she was supposed to hear it, and now she was fully awake, it seemed more like a product of her imagination than reality. That didn’t sate the dread that unfurled inside her every time she thought about it.
Lucas bounced back quickly, now that he was awake. By noon, the nurses let him have Jell-O and soda. The doctor released him that evening, as long as he promised to take it easy on the food for a couple of days, while his stomach recovered. The final diagnosis was that he didn’t taken enough pills to do internal damage. They took him out for so long because of his size and the alcohol he mixed them with.
Susan liked seeing the family happy. Andrew seemed restrained, but he looked so much lighter than twenty-four hours ago.
They got back to Kandace’s and got Lucas settled. He needed rest. Kandace and Andrew promised to talk to him after he recovered a little more, about how to make sure Lucas stayed happy and sane. Kandace also swore he wouldn’t have to see anyone else until they figured out the details. That seemed to sate the boy, and he passed out in his own bed a short while later.
Andrew ordered Kandace to get some sleep. She only protested for a moment before yielding. Susan and Andrew were left alone in the living room.
Andrew handed her his phone. “Do you want to text Mercy? Let her know you’re okay?”
She took the device. Typing in his passcode made her smile. The sense of humor of a five-year-old sometimes. She adored it. A twinge ghosted through her when she saw the last conversation he’d had with Mercy. The note that Susan was in his room. The deception.
She pushed aside the bad memory. That was in the past. They’d moved on. She sent Mercy a quick note. Hey. It’s Susan. Checking in. Everyone’s all right, including me.
A response came seconds later. Glad to hear it. Thanks for letting me know. Talk soon.
She smiled, and out of habit, hit the back button to take her to the main text screen. A flash of color caught her eye, and it took her a minute to process it was a photo. “What’s this?” A voice in her head screamed not to click—that she was invading his privacy—but her thumb swiped the conversation open.
“What’s what? Oh. Fuck.” Andrew’s exclamation echoed the one in her head, as she stared at a selfie of Rissa. Or rather, of Rissa’s boobs.
This wasn’t what made Susan’s brain grind to a screeching halt. It was the date it was sent and Andrew’s reply. I wouldn’t mind you riding me.
Now Susan knew why she’ woke up alone the morning after she threw herself at him. Because if she were anyone but her, he’d fuck the hell out of her. Wasn’t that how he phrased it? She looked up, to see him frowning.
She didn’t have a right to be mad. They weren’t dating, and he’d never made a secret of that. “Was she fun?” Susan forced herself to sound cheerful. The crack in her words told her she failed.
“She was forward.”
It wasn’t a real answer. Was that what he’d tell people about Susan? Or would it be a generic kind of she was a challenge? Would she get that much credit in one of his stories? The thought gnawed at her. It wasn’t that she was angry, but she was hurt in a way she didn’t like and didn’t feel she had a right to be. “I’m glad you got to hook up.”
“Me too.” He wouldn’t meet her gaze, and his trademark bravado was missing from his voice. He’d lied to Mercy about sleeping with Susan. It was possible he was covering up the truth about Rissa.
Realization spread through Susan. It wasn’t that she minded who he’d been with in the past. She was terrified of what it meant for last night. She didn’t want to ask, but she had to have it defined. It felt special, but that was her assumption. “Is that what I was last night? A hookup?”
“Suzie-Q...” He trailed off.
“I’m not upset.” She managed to sound normal. “I mean, in a way, my feelings are hurt, but I never had any illusions about how inexperienced I am compared to you. I know who you are. Seems like now is a good time to discuss it, so we’re on the same page.” Which was ridiculous. She’d already built up a relationship for her and Andrew, weaving the idea until it was part of her reality. She tried to deny it, but with the possibility of losing him staring her down, she had to admit she was hooked.
“I’ve told you before, I’m not boyfriend material. Any past disclaimers apply. Last night was really good, but that’s all it was.” He rubbed the back of his neck and studied the ceiling. “I consider you a good friend.” He looked at her. “That doesn’t have to change unless you want it to.”
“Am I the only one who felt a connection?” Why couldn’t she drop this? Because she’d convinced herself he felt the same as she did, and she was going to make him admit it. How childish was that?
“I adore you. But I don’t do long-term. Hell, I don’t think it’s fair to call it any sort of term.”
“Have you ever tried?”
A sympathetic smile appeared on his face. “More times than you’ve had boyfriends. I’d bet a lot on that.”
“Which is a low blow, and you know it.”
He shrugged. “I’m trying to keep this civil and pain free. I’ve tried real hard not to hide my intentions from you. From the start, you’ve known this was a friendship and nothing more.”
“Things can change.” Now she sounded desperate, and she hated that as much as the growing void inside.
“This is exactly what I warned you about. You’re looking for an emotional link that isn’t there. You don’t know enough about me, to assume there could be one.”
The words and casual dismissal stung. His cool delivery chipped away at her. “I know a lot more about you than you give me credit for,” she said.
“Really?” Snideness filled the word, and a wicked twist flickered on his face before vanishing. “Like what, Ms. Observant? If you say there’s the sex stuff, you fail.”
“This is a test? Fine. Regardless of the fact you give everyone a nickname, you never forget a face or a real name.”
“A lot of people know that.”
“But you do it to keep from getting attached. You hated growing up the poor kid in a rich school, so you learned the fast quip and quick jokes were the best way to shrug off cruelty and prove to people you didn’t care.”
“Mercy could have told you that.” His wince defied his casual tone.
“She didn’t. But this isn’t a question of how I know, but what I know. Which includes the fact that you’re a lot kinder and more compassionate than you want anyone to think, and it’s not for some pseudo-macho reason. You’d surrender nearly everything, rather than hurt the people you care about.” She swallowed, not sure she should say the next bit. But she was going to lay this all on the line if it was going to hurt either way. “And I know you care about me as much as I care about you.”
“You’re right.”
Her heart leapt into her throat.
“Which is why I’ll surrender you to keep from hurting you,” he said.
Anger shoved her hope aside. All this discussion, so he could pull the this is what’s best for you card? No. She wasn’t having that. “That’s an asshole move. You don’t get to decide what is and isn’t good for me. That’s not your call.”
“Consent goes both ways.”
She hated the way he abused and tossed that line around. “Because you know what I need better than I do? You fucking hypocrite. Where the hell do you get off, pulling a line like that? Especially after last night’s monologue, about how you regret pushing your will on Lucas’s life.”
“I was exhausted and strung out. Not thinking straight. I needed an outlet after a stressful day. What do you want me to say?”
The excuses burrowed under her skin, raising her ire to new levels. “So, like that— bam—this is over?”
“This never started. You got to slum it for a while. I had some fun. Time to move on.”
“That’s how you sum up our time together.”
He nodded at the phone in her hand. “Call your sister. Tell her to come get you. You can leave that on the coffee table when you’re done.”
She itched to chase after him when he walked out of the room, but her pride didn’t need another blow. If he was going to be a stubborn asshole, she’d let him. Tears stung her eyelids, and she wiped them away angrily. If this was how he approached romance, he was right. She was better off without him.