Mom was raised in an Irish Catholic family in rural Manvel, North Dakota, but World War II brought her across the border to Minnesota. When our country entered the war, the Great Northern Railway recruited many women, including Mom, to fill gaps left by male employees who joined the United States armed forces. Mom received training at a telegraph school, learned Morse code and telegraphy operations, and served three years as a depot agent in the North Dakota and Minnesota towns of Hillsboro, Niagara, Thompson, Dalton, Hallock, Harwood, and Rothsay.
As she was dispatched from town to town, breaking gender boundaries in her career, living alone as a single young woman, and making new friends, Mom’s courage and independence escalated. She developed a fierce self-reliance and confidence as a woman in a “man’s world.” As a ticket agent, station operator, and railroad freight agent, Mom monitored communications for the dispatcher, copied Western Union telegrams in Morse code, handled freight that was delivered to the freight house, and sold tickets to the public. Gasping and holding her breath, she would hold out a stick in her outstretched arm to hand messages to engineers, who grabbed them as their train zoomed by. She observed tearful farewells of service members who departed by train. With tears she informed loved ones when a service member returned home by casket. Getting a telegram (many people did not have telephones) during the war was scary because so often they carried bad news.
World War II etched memories into Mom’s mind that she could not erase. She shared stories with us about air-raid drills, blackouts, and salvage efforts. She talked about the ration books for sugar, shoes, gasoline, and other items in limited supply. Her two brothers made it safely through the war, but her brother-in-law did not. She sang “When the Lights Go On Again All Over the World” enough times that I still have the words etched in my mind:
“When the lights go on again all over the world
And the boys are home again all over the world”
A New Home
While Mom was serving as a depot agent in the Norwegian Lutheran community of Dalton, she met and fell in love with Dad. As a new bride, Mom left the life she had known and loved in her Irish Catholic community and moved to a new cultural environment, becoming the first Catholic in Dalton. This move took her 150 miles away from her hometown and family, so she kept in touch with her relatives through letters, and she looked forward to seeing them each summer.
Over the years, Mom started to resemble a Norwegian, but not a Lutheran. She held steadfast to her Catholic religion and raised us kids Catholic, though Dad never “turned.” She was able to comfortably be the sole Catholic in a Lutheran community because Dad’s Lutheran family and friends embraced and accepted her with unconditional love. Mom was never considered an outsider. She was Milton’s wife and, as such, she was accepted as part of the web of his close-knit community.
A Firm but Loving Mother
Mom and Dad were equal partners in their marriage when it came to decision making. Mom, an independent and determined woman, bore eight healthy children in a sixteen-year timespan. A firm parent, she did not tolerate laziness, fighting, or sassing. She maintained order in her house by having us adhere to schedules and rules; and although she scolded and reproved us kids when we did wrong, she loved and protected us and wanted us to have a meaningful life. Practical, pragmatic, and not given to sentiment, Mom refused to revert to tact or charm to gain something she wanted. She spoke her mind and did not give in to self-indulgence.
The Rewards of Homemaking
For Mom, homemaking was a lifetime commitment and a dignified profession. She never felt ensnared by the hard life of a farm wife—in fact, she found many rewards in it. Shiny waxed floors, a weed-free garden, and well-behaved children gave her a sense of accomplishment. She appreciated the artistry in rows of canned peaches, the aroma of freshly baked bread, the ambiance of a room filled with a lilac bouquet, and Sunday dinners enjoyed by family in the dining room.
The long hours of labor Mom put in as a farm wife and mother of eight are quite daunting to me. Her only domestic help during her pregnancies or even in time of sickness was her daughters. The almost constant work—without benefit of modern conveniences and improvements—was labor intensive and largely a matter of brawn. We did not have a bathroom installed in the house until after her seventh child was born, and rather than relying on an automatic washer and dryer, Mom washed everything in a wringer washing machine and hung our wash on the line in both summer and winter.
Although she never showed signs of physical exhaustion, the strain of bearing eight children and carrying a heavy workload did take a toll on Mom’s health. She wrapped her legs daily because of swollen, twisted, and painful varicose veins. Dad always tried to make her burden easier by asking us girls to help more around the house.
Leisure Interests
Rural life and eight children took up most of Mom’s time and energy. She was the one who coordinated get-togethers, school activities, and family happenings. Although she cared little for social status, Mom always preferred socializing over a good rest. She took great pleasure in entertaining, playing cards, bowling, and belonging to the Homemakers Club. Although she had little time to cultivate leisure interests, Mom was easily able to visit friends and neighbors because she could drive a car.
Children First
Mom taught us that material things were not important. She did not collect items or possessions, and she did not believe that money brought happiness. She would rather have people and relationships than things.
Mom always felt it was more important for us kids to have a new Christmas or Easter outfit than for her to have new clothes herself. In eight years, Mom had only one new hat and one secondhand dress. She was always willing to go without so we kids did not have to.
God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.
–Hebrews 6:10 (NIV)