Frederic tiptoed slowly across the big lawn outside Zaubera’s fortress, past the tiered-bench seating, a couple of booths with GET YOUR GROG HERE signs, and several large banners that bore the witch’s name. Of course, Frederic was actually hoping to be captured—all in keeping with Liam’s plan. He’d never considered himself a human-bait type of guy. But there he was, aiming to distract a giant long enough for his partners to steal a map. I guess I really will do anything for Ella, he thought. Then he stopped himself. No, it’s not just Ella, is it? I’m doing this for Liam and Gustav and Duncan, too. I don’t want to let any of them down.
The giant, Reese, was standing a few yards from the tower, picking his teeth with a wheelbarrow (its dual handles allowed him to scrape between two teeth at once). Frederic “sneaked” by, peering up from time to time to see if the giant had noticed him. No luck. Reese was very much engaged in a battle with a boulder-size hunk of yak meat that was wedged between a pair of molars.
So Frederic coughed. And then he coughed louder. Reese paid the sound no notice. Then Frederic began whistling. Reese continued to ignore him. Eventually, the giant freed the pesky morsel from his teeth, but instead of looking down and seeing Frederic—who was now performing a handstand—he just kept studying the grotesque lump of meat, staring at it sitting on the wet tip of his giant finger, contemplating whether or not to put it back in his mouth.
Down on the ground, Frederic was jumping around and waving his arms. He tried a cartwheel. At last he decided to borrow a proven tactic that had worked in the past. “Stuuuurm-hayyyyyy-gennnnn!” He hollered Gustav’s battle cry as he ran at the giant, wildly waving his new sword.
That did it. Reese dropped his chunk of meat to the ground. “No way,” he muttered in astonishment, as he reached down and snatched up Frederic. “You can’t be back again.” Frederic, for his part, was grateful that he hadn’t needed to stick the giant with his sword in order to get noticed. Trying to charm someone is never easy once you’ve stabbed him.
Reese examined Frederic. “Hey, wait. You’re not the one who keeps coming back and poking me.”
“No,” said Frederic. “That would be my friend, Gustav.”
“Is he here, too?” The giant frowned and scanned the field.
“No!” Frederic said quickly. “He … he got eaten by trolls.” It was the first thing that came into his head. And he immediately regretted saying it.
“I thought trolls were vegetarian,” Reese said suspiciously.
“Normally, uh, sure,” Frederic said, his mind scrambling. “But Gustav annoyed them so badly, they made an exception and ate him anyway.”
“I can believe that,” Reese said. Then, feeling a bit contrite, the giant adopted a more agreeable tone. “Well, I can’t say as I’ll miss the little pest, but I assume you must be a bit sad about it, seeing as he was your friend. So, uh, you have my sympathies. I am very sorry for your loss.”
Sitting in the giant’s rough-skinned palm, Frederic sheathed his sword. Etiquette! This was a giant who understood proper manners. “Thank you,” he said. “Your kindness is much appreciated. I don’t know many people—of any size—who would treat a prisoner with such respect.”
“Your appreciation is much appreciated as well,” said Reese. With his free hand, he scratched his stubbly chin. “Why’d you come back here, anyway? You must have known you couldn’t get past me.”
“Oh, absolutely. I fully expected you to stop me. You’re enormous, obviously very powerful, and the last time we met, you proved yourself to be a determined and tireless opponent. But I had to come back here to honor the memory of my dear friend. He very badly wanted something that’s inside that fortress, and now that he’s digesting in a troll’s belly somewhere, I felt the need to fulfill his final wishes. I was a little afraid of the dragon, though—it’s not still here, is it?”
“It’s around back,” Reese said. “I hate that thing.”
“Likewise,” Frederic said. “Dragons can’t be trusted, but you… I was pretty sure that when you captured me, you’d treat me well.”
“How’d you know I wouldn’t just crush you?”
“I had a good feeling. When we clashed last time, you seemed like a noble sort.”
“I like to do my mum proud.”
“That’s what I figured. And so far my initial impression of you has been borne out. You’ve been quite pleasant. It makes me wonder why you associate yourself with someone as wicked and awful as that witch, Zaubera.”
The giant’s body shook as he began to laugh, and Frederic had to wrap his arms around an enormous pinkie to make sure he didn’t tumble off. “What did I say that was so funny?” he asked.
“I may be polite, but I’m no fool,” Reese said. “I’m not going to fall for the same trick twice.”
Frederic began to panic. Was his strategy backfiring? “It’s no trick! I meant every word. And, um, what do you mean by ‘same trick twice’? You and I never even spoke the last time we met.”
“Not you,” Reese said. “The brown-haired girl. She did the same exact thing: complimented me, harped on how terrible the witch was, got me to trust her. And then she scampered off. Oh, yeah, she got me good. But it’s not going to work again.”
“You’re talking about Ella, aren’t you?” Frederic asked. A warm wave of happiness washed over him. Ella had escaped with the very same tactic he was trying to use. Maybe the two of them did have a few things in common.
“Oh, man, I shouldn’t have told you that,” Reese muttered, glancing around nervously. “The witch doesn’t know the girl is gone.”
“She doesn’t?” Frederic was intrigued. Maybe things hadn’t taken a bad turn after all.
“I made a wonderful little dummy and put it in the tower,” Reese explained. “Frankly, I didn’t know I had such artistic talent in me. But that’s beside the point. Look, you can’t tell the witch. I don’t want to be a pile of bacon.”
“I don’t quite understand the last part of what you said,” Frederic began, “but it appears that you’re asking me for a favor.” Yes, he thought, this was all going to work out just fine.
A few moments earlier, Liam, Duncan, and Gustav watched Frederic and the giant from among the rocks at the base of Mount Batwing.
“Stuuuurm-hayyyyyy-gennnnn!” they heard Frederic yell.
Gustav turned to the others and smiled. “He got that from me.”
“I liked that little dance he was doing,” Duncan added. “I have to remember to ask him about the choreography later.”
“Shhh! They’re talking,” Liam scolded. “Pay attention.”
“I was a little afraid of the dragon, though,” Frederic was saying. “It’s not still here, is it?”
“It’s around back.”
“Okay, I’m off to go play,” Gustav said. “You two had better get that map. I don’t like risking my life for nothing.”
Liam snorted. “You always risk your life for nothing. It’s like a hobby.”
Gustav ignored him, drew his sword, and ran toward the back of the fortress.
He was looking forward to this. None of his brothers had ever fought a dragon. Harald (brother #8) got all those kudos for skewering a couple of goblins; Lars (#12) got a feast after he caught a wild dog-man; and Henrik (#1) and Osvald (#5) were showered with praise after they took down one measly bog-beast. But those creatures were nothing compared to a dragon. No, if Gustav held his own against a dragon, it would be, hands down, the most impressive feat any of the princes of Sturmhagen had ever pulled off. Gustav was sure he could do it, too. In fact, he had no doubt he could slay the monster and be done with it. But a dead dragon wouldn’t fit into the plan. They needed the dragon to scare off the giant later. And for once, Gustav was determined to stick to the plan.
This was going to be his moment for redemption—the moment he would show everybody what he was capable of.
But the dragon was asleep.
“Seriously?” Gustav threw his arms down and kicked a rock in frustration. “I was supposed to have a fighting job. Not a pet-sitting job.”
He looked at the beast, snoozing peacefully in the shadow of the stronghold’s tall tower, and was strongly tempted to wake it up. One jab of his sword would do the trick.
But he held back. He was going to follow the plan and do what was best for the group. Using all the willpower he could muster, he sat on the grass and simply stared at the sleeping dragon.
This is the most boring moment of redemption ever, he thought.
A few moments after Gustav ran off to meet the dragon, Liam and Duncan darted over to the large wooden doors of the fortress. The giant was laughing at something Frederic said, and it seemed like the perfect time to sneak in without raising any alarms.
Duncan began to laugh, too, and Liam shushed him.
“Sorry,” Duncan whispered. “Frederic must have said something pretty funny to make the giant laugh like that. So I was trying to imagine what it might have been, and—ha!—it was even funnier than I thought.”
“Duncan, focus.”
Duncan nodded in response, and Liam tugged at the big round iron door handle. It cracked open, and he and Duncan slipped inside.
They were in the cavernous main chamber where Liam had first faced the dragon (and lost the map). Duncan surveyed the vast collections of ancient runic tomes, the skeletal owls and dried snake skins, the buckets of slime and the bowls of shrunken heads. “It’s like a scary-story museum,” he said in hushed wonder.
“This plan is working out perfectly so far,” Liam said softly, occasionally glancing at the front door to make sure no one was coming. “I don’t like it.”
“What do you mean?” Duncan asked. “It’s your plan; of course it’s going to work.”
“I’m glad one of us is so sure of that,” Liam whispered. “I had a plan last time, too, you know. At least, in my head I did. And look how that worked out.”
“Nobody’s perfect, Liam,” Duncan said, putting his hand on Liam’s shoulder. “You’re the best hero among us. If anybody can stop this witch and save those people, it’s you. I consider it a privilege just to be by your side.”
Liam smiled weakly. He didn’t quite share Duncan’s faith in him after all that had happened, but he appreciated it nonetheless.
“You’re a good friend, Duncan.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell people for years!”
“Okay,” Liam said. “Stay here and watch the doors. I’m going to check that corner over there.” He headed across the big room to the last place he’d seen the map. He crouched down into the dark corner. Almost immediately, he saw the map, just lying there on the stone floor.
“Oh, that’s not good,” he muttered. “That was too easy.”
He grabbed the map and anxiously rolled it up. “Something is going to go wrong any second now. I can feel it. Duncan,” he called out. “Let’s get out of here.”
But when he turned around and looked back toward the exit doors, Duncan was gone.
When Liam had said, “Watch the doors,” Duncan wasn’t sure if he’d meant the front doors. There were, after all, lots of doors in that room. So Duncan thought about it for a second and decided that the big exit doors probably didn’t need much watching—they were hard to miss. Some of these smaller, more out-of-the-way doors were another matter entirely.
He slunk along the wall until he came to the first of the doors. He slowly opened it, poked his head inside, and saw nothing but a chamber pot, which made him giggle. He closed the door and moved down to the next one. Behind that door, he found a small room lined with broomsticks. He briefly considered trying to ride one, but the risk of inner-thigh splinters was too unappealing, and he opted against it. The third door opened onto a long, torch-lit corridor. He was about to shut it, when he heard footsteps around the corner. If it was the witch, he needed to warn Liam. But maybe it wasn’t the witch....
He tiptoed down the corridor, turned the corner, and was shocked to find himself face-to-face with a brown-haired girl in interesting pants. Ella was equally surprised. Each jumped away from the other and took a defensive stance—Ella in a martial arts crouch, Duncan standing on one leg with his hands in front of his face.
“Who are you?” both asked in unison.
“Oops, sorry. You first.” Duncan was unfailingly polite, even when suspicious.
“Are you one of her guards?” Ella asked. Her jaw was clenched tight. She looked ready for a fight.
“Whose guards?”
“The witch’s.”
“No. Are you?”
“Of course not. If I was one of her guards, why would I ask you if you were one of her guards?”
“To trick me, I guess.”
“Well, I’m not.”
“And neither am I.”
“Are you a bandit, then? You’re dressed like one.”
“Oh, I borrowed these clothes from the Stumpy Boarhound.”
“Who’s the stumpy boarhound?”
“The Stumpy Boarhound is not a who; it’s a what.”
“Well, what is it then?”
“A place with terrible lemonade.”
“You’re trying to confuse me.”
“No, I’m not. I like your pants.”
“Stop distracting me. Tell me who you are.”
“Duncan. Pleased to meet you.”
“Likewise. Why are you here?”
“To get a map.”
Ella gasped. “I need that map!”
“You can’t have it!” Duncan said defensively.
With both hands, Ella grabbed Duncan by his collar. “Give me the map!”
“I don’t have the map!” Duncan squeaked. “It’s still missing.”
Ella loosened her grip on his shirt. “I really need to get that map. I risked my life to come back here for it.”
“So did we.”
“You did? Wait. Who’s ‘we’?”
“Me and Liam and Gustav and Frederic.”
“Frederic?” Ella let go and stepped back, shocked to hear the name. She’d begun to wonder if that incident with Frederic back at Rapunzel’s tower had been some sort of witch-induced hallucination. “Frederic from Harmonia? He’s here?”
“You know Frederic?”
“We were supposed to get married.”
“You’re Ella?” Duncan shouted with excitement. “I thought you were a piece of wood!”
“Huh?”
“Oh, this is fantastic,” Duncan said. “Come with me!” He grabbed Ella’s hand and pulled her along with him as he ran back to the main chamber.
“Duncan! Thank goodness,” Liam said as he saw his friend emerge from behind the door.
“Look who I found,” Duncan cried. “It’s Ella!”
“Ella? What? She’s here?”
Ella popped out of the corridor behind Duncan, and Liam was instantly enchanted. Ella’s hair was a tousled mess and her dress was torn and muddied, but to Liam, she looked radiant. More than anything else, he was struck by her eyes. Ella had that same devil-may-care look that Liam had seen in only one other place: a mirror. “Wow,” he breathed.
“Wow?” Ella echoed, a bit confused.
“He means, ‘Wow, we can’t believe we found you,’” Duncan interjected.
“Of course,” Liam said, playing innocent, although he was still gazing moony-eyed at Ella. “We thought you escaped days ago.”
“You were right. But I came back for the map,” Ella said. “Please tell me you found it.”
“I did.” Liam showed them the rolled-up parchment.
“Do you know what’s on that map?” Ella asked. “The witch has prisoners in those towers.”
“Aha! Just as I suspected!” Liam said.
“Well, it didn’t take much guesswork,” Duncan said. “She’d written ‘prisoner’—”
“Just as I suspected,” Liam repeated, cutting him off. “So with you free, we have five more people to rescue.”
“Four,” Ella said. “I already rescued one.”
“You did?” Liam leaned his elbow on a nearby sarcophagus and brushed his fingers through his hair, trying to look casually dashing. “You’re a very impressive woman.”
“Thanks. But, anyway, her prisoners are all bards,” Ella said. “The witch is striking at the very heart of our world’s entertainment industry. She’s planning to kill the bards as part of some huge demented spectacle.”
“I know. She’s going to do it today,” Liam said. “That’s why I insisted we come back here to get the map. The others were ready to call it quits, but I said—”
“The others—oh, my goodness,” Ella said breathlessly. “Is Frederic really with you?”
“Yes, Frederic, that’s right,” Liam said. He lowered his voice, feeling somewhat ashamed for flirting with his friend’s fiancée. But at the same time he thought, how could he help himself? Ella was just, like, you know, wow.
“Yes,” Duncan butted in. He didn’t like what he was seeing. Liam seemed to be smitten with Ella. “Frederic is actually the reason we’re all here. He found us all and got us together to come after you in the first place. It was his idea.” He shot a disapproving look at Liam, who gave a sheepish shrug in return.
“So who are you people?” Ella asked.
“We are the League of Princes Charming,” Duncan offered eagerly.
“No, League of Princes,” Liam cut in. “Just League of Princes.”
“Fine,” Duncan conceded. “But we are all Princes Charming.”
“Is that how Frederic got hooked up with you? Because of him being called Prince Charming in that song about me?” Ella asked.
“Exactly!” Duncan beamed. “And I’m from the Snow White song.”
Ella turned to Liam, who was looking a bit red-faced. “And what about you? Whose Prince Charming are you?” She nudged Liam playfully with her elbow.
“Sleeping Beauty’s,” Liam reluctantly admitted. “But don’t believe everything you’ve heard about me.”
“I haven’t heard much of anything about anybody lately,” Ella said. “I’ve been a bit preoccupied.”
“Really?” Liam asked. “So there’s nothing you think you know about me? Prince Liam from Erinthia? You haven’t heard any rumors?”
“Nope,” Ella said.
“So as far as you’re concerned, I’m just a guy bravely risking his own life in order to save the lives of others.”
“Oh, wait—Erinthia! Yes!”
“I knew it,” he muttered glumly.
“Your sister is looking for you,” Ella said.
“Lila?”
“Yeah, she’s a great kid.”
“How do you know—”
Duncan stomped his foot and said, “We should really go outside now and make sure FREDERIC is okay.”
“You’re right; let’s go,” Ella said. She found it touching that Frederic had gone through the trouble of getting these other princes to search for her, and she didn’t want to see him get into any kind of real trouble on her behalf. “Where is Frederic, anyway? Keeping lookout in the trees or something?”
“No, he’s out there distracting the giant,” Duncan said.
“The giant?” Ella gasped, and gave Liam a shove. “You left Frederic with a giant? Are you trying to kill him?”
“He can handle it,” Liam protested. “Trust me, he’s changed.”
“You’re a lunatic,” Ella cried. “Frederic’s afraid of dust bunnies! We have to go help him, right now!” She shoved Liam aside and ran toward the exit. But just as she reached the doors, she heard a sizzling sound and a cry of pain from behind her. She turned to see Liam on the ground, clutching his chest. Zaubera stood in an open doorway, smiling wickedly. She raised her hand and zapped Liam again with a crackling streak of blue energy.
“So nice that you came back to pay old Zaubera another visit,” the witch said. Her red and black rags fluttered as an unnatural wind stirred up around her.
Ella shivered with the terrifying realization that the witch was even more powerful than she’d previously thought. She also realized that the witch was apparently not named Wendy. But that was less terrifying.
“Leave him alone!” Ella cried, running back to Liam’s side. “Take me. I’m the one you want!”
“Oh, don’t worry—you’re not going anywhere either, my little starlet,” Zaubera sneered. She nailed Ella with a blast of sorcerous lightning, sending her to the floor next to Liam.
“You despicable fiend,” Liam hissed from his place on the ground.
“You didn’t think I was going to let Prince Charming run in here and steal away my Cinderella, did you?” Zaubera said.
“How does she know who you are?” Duncan asked, flabbergasted.
Zaubera looked at Liam. “Aha,” she said with a green-toothed smile. “You’re the one. Frankly, I assumed it would be you. The other three are kind of … you know.”
Liam reached up and thrust the map into Duncan’s hands. “Remember the plan, Duncan,” he sputtered. “Take it. Go!”
Without a word, Duncan sped off with the map. He ran, not toward the exit, but straight into a nearby wall. He bounced backward a few steps, spun around, and ran behind a large rack of magic wands, where he spilled over a table full of jarred frogs with a crash and a clatter.
“There’s no way out over there,” the witch called out helpfully.
A second later, Duncan burst back into view and dashed out through the main doors.
Zaubera rubbed her hands together and grinned devilishly. “I have Cinderella and Prince Charming!”
“Ha!” Liam shouted. He and Ella were both still on the floor, too sore and winded to attempt a getaway. “My friend just escaped with your map, witch. Your evil plot is foiled.”
“Oh, really?” Zaubera said, sounding rather amused. “Did you notice I made no attempt to stop him?”
“Face it, witch: You’ve lost,” Liam said. “With that map, my friends will free the bards in no time.”
“You mean these bards?” Zaubera asked. She snapped her bony fingers, and four dark-purple vines descended from the ceiling. At the end of each, wrapped up in coils of slithering ivy, was a kidnapped bard. Lyrical Leif, Tyrese the Tuneful, Wallace Fitzwallace, and Reynaldo, Duke of Rhyme, all gagged by curling ivy, stared plaintively at Liam and Ella.
“Crud,” Liam muttered.
“Yes, crud indeed,” Zaubera grinned. “I’ve had it up to here with the libelous, inaccurate story-songs of these mewling melody-makers. They ruined my reputation, and I’m finally going to get my payback.”
“You’re insane, witch,” Ella said. “You’re going to slaughter these men just because they told the world how Rapunzel escaped from you?”
“Rapunzel never escaped from me!” Zaubera shrieked. “I let that little hooligan go! No one escapes Zaubera!”
“Um,” Liam interrupted. “Actually, we all have at least once.”
“NO ONE ESCAPES ZAUBERA!” the witch yelled even louder. “And anyway, I’m not going to kill the bards. I need them to witness my massacre and sing to the world about it. No, the bards are my publicity team. I’m going to kill everybody else. With the help of you two, of course.” The moving vines whisked the bards out of sight.
“We’ll never help you, witch!” Ella spat.
“You all say ‘witch’ like it’s an insult,” Zaubera said. “I am a witch. And anyway, yours is not exactly a voluntary position.”
Zaubera snapped her fingers again. Purple vines snaked swiftly along the floor and wrapped themselves around Liam and Ella.
“Come,” Zaubera said. “I’m taking you and your boyfriend upstairs now.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Ella said.
“Yeah, I’m not her, uh, what you said…,” Liam mumbled.
“Boyfriend, fiancée … whatever,” Zaubera sniffed. “You’re Cinderella and Prince Charming—that’s all the heroes are going to care about.”
Liam and Ella cast each other confused glances, neither understanding what the witch meant. Zaubera started up the spiral staircase to her tower observatory. The wriggling vines followed, dragging her prisoners with them. “You should feel privileged, really,” the witch said. “This is going to be the biggest massacre in recorded history, and you two get to be the headlining victims.”
“You’re forgetting one thing, witch,” Liam said. “My friends.”
Zaubera chuckled. “If the rest of your pals are anything like that little fellow who couldn’t find the exit, I’m not too concerned.”