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—Banks—
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Having eaten our burgers while drying off in the evening sun, I lay on my back and closed my eyes, content with Simone near.
It took all my willpower to not kiss her earlier. Being less than an inch away from the lips that plagued my dreams nearly had me overstepping the boundaries again.
Slowly, I reminded myself. I needed to take this real damn slow, and in the very least, I needed to keep our kindling friendship growing strong.
As I dozed, I heard Simone lie down next to me with a relaxed sigh. Instinctively, I reached out until my fingers connected with her thigh, then recoiled them just as fast.
“I felt that,” she deadpanned.
I chuckled. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to.”
“You need to work on your stealth.”
A scoff left my nose. “One thing I’ve never been is stealthy. Even as a kid, I always sucked at it. I’d rather take the bull by the horns.”
Her quiet tsk had me smirking. In the space between the conversation drawing to a close and my thoughts becoming consumed by the pretty little woman lying beside me, I rested my hands on my stomach to stop myself from reaching out again.
Today had been wrenching. Finding Hilary cut me deep and still brought fresh tears to my eyes. I dreaded telling Mom later tonight. Simone had been the distraction I needed. Even though she couldn’t see it, the hard road she’d traveled simply made her more special. Each line on her arm—both silver and pink—told a story. A sad, broken story. And those stories resulted in a beautiful woman who couldn’t see her own strength.
“I like you, Simone,” I murmured.
Despite the silence, I could practically hear her thoughts. “In an ugly friend kind of way?”
I chuckled and ran my fingers through my hair. “In a fuck I really want to kiss you again kind of way.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah—oh.”
A heavy sigh came. “Banks, I—”
“Babe,” I cut her off and looked her way to find her watching me with a pained expression. “You don’t need to explain yourself. I promise I understand, and I get it. For the record, I didn’t bring you out here to upset you. I’m just really grateful for your company.”
She gave a small smile. “I’m really grateful that you don’t let these bother you.” She raised the arm that bore the brunt of her escapism.
I pursed my lips briefly. “I mind, but not like you think. It’s upsetting to know that I’m the cause of some of those marks.”
Her eyes finally flicked away from mine. “You’re not the cause. I was just blaming you because I was angry, and everything came rushing back when you handed me that Chai. You don’t make me want to cut myself, Banks, but what you make me feel does.”
I swallowed thickly when her eyes reconnected with mine.
“I’m scared,” she whispered.
“Of me?”
“No.” She shook her head. “Of being here. Moving on. Forgetting him. Being happy without him. Having my heart broken again. Being intimate with someone again. I’m basically scared of every little thing I have no control over. The day I came into town, and you kissed me, for the barest of split seconds, I liked having someone’s hands and lips on me again. Then reality crashed back, and I felt sickened with guilt. That’s when these happened...” She trailed off and ran her petite index finger over a healed line. “I can’t explain why I need to do it, and sometimes I can’t resist no matter how hard I try.”
My pulse kicked as I rolled onto my elbow. “I’m sorry you’re going through this,” I said earnestly.
She downcast her eyes again and smoothed out a minor fold in the blanket she lay on. “Without wanting to wallow in self-pity, same. So much has changed after losing Reagan. I’ve gone from happy to barely being able to force a smile. I’ve gone from wearing heels and beautiful corporate clothing to living in his hoodie and serving beer. Not that I’m ungrateful for the job, but it’s just a huge contrast to my old life... you know?”
“Not firsthand, but I can see how it is. Do you miss the city?”
She stared into the blue sky miles above us. “Not in moments like this. I like the quiet here, apart from at night when it gets lonely.”
I chuckled. “I can lend you Pepin if you’d like. Forewarning, though, you’ll be kicking her off the bed multiple times a night.”
That created a little laugh within Simone’s chest. “No thanks. She’s cute, but I can hear her snoring from here. Fuck sleeping with that.”
“I don’t know who snores worse: me or her.”
Simone’s eyes flared, and she rolled her head my way. “You snore?”
I grinned. “Sometimes. I will tonight; I’m absolutely beat.”
“That’s a hard no for me.”
My grin pulled wider. “I don’t remember inviting you into my bed, new girl.”
She flipped me off at close range. “Hypothetically speaking!”
“Of course,” I teased. “Besides, I wouldn’t snore for you: hypothetically speaking.”
“You can’t control whether you snore or not,” she sassed.
“Sure I could.”
“I beg to differ.”
With another smile on my face put there by Simone, I returned onto my back and fell into a sleepy doze. She was changing my opinion of her for the better with each little part she allowed me to see.
Piece by piece, Simone revealed the real her. The beautiful yet broken her, and I didn’t dare take those little snippets for granted.
I cherished them, just like every smile she gave me. They rose in my memory and pulled a content hum from deep in my chest. Then another, and another, until each exhale was a deeper hum than the previous.
The freeness of my breath then halted. My inhale locked. Frozen despite repeated attempts to draw oxygen.
Panicked, my eyes sprung open as I jolted forward and gasped for air. I came nose to nose with Simone kneeling beside me, who began to laugh her ass off while still pinching my nostrils closed.
I batted her hand away, then had her on her back and caged between my knees and wrists in a blink. The compromising position iced her soul-boosting laughter.
Barely resisting the illicit pull as it amplified ten times over, my gaze shifted from her parted lips to the mass of her blonde hair splayed around her head, to her eyes, then returned to her mouth.
She gulped, then fuck me, panted for breath. Actually fucking panted and gripped my forearms, anchoring me to her despite both of us knowing we were lingering in dangerous territory.
My tongue darted across my lower lip as I gazed down at her. Bright blue eyes stared back filled with a confusing mix of trepidation and desire.
“What are you doing?” she breathed out.
“I dunno,” I whispered. “Why’d you do that?”
A pucker of confusion appeared between her eyebrows. “Do what?”
“Wake me up like that. I missed out on the best part of a dream.”
The barest of smirks twitched one corner of her mouth. “You were snoring.”
“The fuck I was,” I hissed, daring to lower my hips an inch while gauging her reaction.
Her body primed under me, and her fingertips bit harder into the flesh of my forearms.
“I promise you were,” she murmured.
My eyes flicked back and forth between hers as I calculated my next move. I lowered a fraction further. “Do you trust me?”
A wave of insecurity entered her voice. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“You are.” I smiled before lowering another inch, pushing my luck for all it was worth. “With me.”
“And Pepin,” Simone whispered.
“And Pepin.” My focus shifted to her mouth. What I wouldn’t give for an invitation to taste her again. To feel those soft, plump lips against mine, even for just a second.
Her gravity intensified, and my erection became impossible to hide.
Simone’s body didn’t lie; pebbled nipples and flushed cheeks spoke of reciprocated arousal. Her legs relaxed as a breathy sigh left her mouth, immediately followed by a gasp when my hips connected with hers.
We moaned in unison—the sound deep with anticipation and pleasures yet to be exposed. My chest grew tight, and my arms burned as I lowered myself down a little more.
“As forbidden as you are, you’re my favorite kind of temptation, Simone,” I murmured huskily, mouth hovering a hair’s breadth from hers.
Her eyes fluttered closed, and her head tilted back, baring the long, smooth expanse of her neck to me. I lowered the final inches and pressed my lips to her collarbone. So soft, with the scent of fresh lake water lingering on her skin. I hummed again, the sound husky and wretched in the back of my throat.
Time slowed as I slid my nose up her neck, gliding across the surface I had no right to touch. I reached the softest part below her ear, and instead of tearing myself away like I should have, I lowered completely onto my elbows and nudged her knees open with my own. Nestled between her open thighs, I panted around my erratic pulse when Simone’s ankles hooked together on my lower back.
“I need to stop,” came my thoughtless whisper as my palm planed up her torso. “Your safe word is pumpernickel.”
A wisp of a laugh sounded close to my ear before I grazed my lips along her jawline. I dared not kiss, but lord I wanted to claim her with my tongue. Instead, I lingered my lips at the corner of hers, ghosting them in tiny circles while internally willing Simone to put me out of my misery. Either way, I needed an indication.
Her hands smoothed from my shoulders to my neck as she angled just enough that our lips connected. The feather-light brush had me whispering, “Fuck I want you,” against her mouth, then groaning when Simone took the lead.
Hands on my cheeks, she pulled me closer. We breathed the same air for a single breath before her lips ghosted across mine. I cupped her cheek while letting her take the lead, then eased into the kiss when she initiated it. My lips gently coaxed hers open, and I hummed when the tip of her tongue met mine. She angled her head within my hold, inviting our kiss to deepen yet remain slow and seductive.
As we naturally came to a pause, “Pumpernickel,” was breathed against my cheek.
Immediately complying, I eased from her while keeping my head bowed. My fingers dared to graze the length of her torso as I sat back on my haunches. I pressed a hand over my painfully rapid pulse and panted as if I’d just swam here from the shore.
Simone looked up at me with concern crunching her expression. “You look angry.”
A wretched laugh escaped. “I’m not, I promise. Just... Fuck you call to me on every level. It physically hurts. Let me swim this one off, then we’ll head in.”
I rose to my feet on shaky legs and dived into the lake, leaving Simone alone and dazed with a large chunk of my new heart.
