THE NEXT HOUR IS THE LONGEST OF MY LIFE. IT seems to take forever to widen the hole. A couple of times, at the sound of booted feet outside, Marcus waves his arms and sends us all scattering to our positions. They’re false alarms, though. All the while my heart is pounding constantly, willing the hole to get bigger.

Eventually, by taking turns, we make it big enough for Ash to get his shoulders through. He’s got the widest torso, so if he can get through, then we all should be able to — with a squeeze. I’m dripping with sweat, breathless, and covered with mud, but there’s no time to take a break.

“Shh!” Marcus waves his arm at us from the doorway. He’s heard voices again.

One of them is definitely Mwemba. Suddenly, covering up the hole and brushing off the dirt is a life-and-death thing. I’m trying to stop my hands from shaking but when I try to wrap Ash’s rope back on his wrists, I fumble and drop it. Panic makes me clumsy when I try to pick it up again. In the end Ash shakes his head and takes it off me. I’ve left him no choice but to drop against the wall, holding it behind his back. Just before I do the same thing, I grab one of the reed mats and slide it up so that it covers the hole. To my surprise, underneath one end is an old machete.

I can’t let the soldiers find it. There’s no time left to think. I grab the handle and throw it behind the hanging laundry, cringing at the metallic clunk it makes. Charis and I had our hands tied in front, so we scramble like mad to get back to our places, arranging the ropes round our wrists so we at least look as if we’re tied up. I’m just managing to sit down with my arms crossed when the door flies open and Mwemba bursts in.

I’m shaking like a leaf. Mwemba’s bloodshot eyes scan the room, slowly, purposefully. Next thing we know he’s yelling at one of his boys, “Kuangalia yao kila saa!”14 and then he ducks back out.

We all look at one another with total relief. I don’t need a translator to figure out what he just said, either. He’s telling the LRA kids outside the door to guard us closer than ever.

Ash is thinking the same. He throws his ropes off. “We have to do this — now — while we’re only an hour or so from where we entered the jungle. Marky, you go first. Make sure the coast is clear.”

Marcus doesn’t need to hear any more. He pulls the mat down and slides out. Pretty soon, all we can see of him are his legs, wriggling until they disappear completely. Next out is Charis. She just leaves her bionic arm by the hole looking like some weird, half-finished construction project. The metal joints are all twisted and we’ve run the battery so low that the fingers barely close. Her legs slide out when Marcus pulls her from the other side. I retrieve the machete and shove it out to them. When I get to my feet I turn to look at Jen, and I’m hit with this terrible realization.

I grab Ash’s arm and hiss, “Ash, wait.” I look to see if Jen is listening. Her eyes are open but she looks out of it. “What about Jen? She can barely walk. They’ll catch us.”

“We’re not leaving her.”

“No.” I feel like I’m drowning, but I have to say it. “You are leaving us. I’m staying here with Jen.”

His voice almost breaks out of a whisper. “What? Don’t be crazy, Rio. No way!”

“I mean it. Get help. They won’t hurt us if we’re the only two hostages left. They need us too much. Besides, another day and you’re dead, remember?”

Ash pushes his hair back. His eyes are searching for answers. “I’m not leaving you, Rio. Either of you.”

“But this is the best way, don’t you see? If you manage to escape, you can bring help. If we all get caught, we won’t have achieved anything. You three were soldiers. If anyone has a chance at survival, it’s you lot.”

Charis pops her head back through. “Er, guys … we need to go.”

I so don’t want this, but I can’t see any better way. “Please?”

“She’s right.” It’s Jen, breathless and fighting for every word.

Dropping to his haunches, Ash strokes her forehead. “Like I said, I’m not leaving you.”

“But you left me ages ago, Ash,” Jen gasps. “I’m cool with it. You should both go. And I want you to know, before you leave, that I stole your letter. Rio took it off me, that’s why it was in her bag.”

“What?” Ash’s face is pale.

A tear rolls down Jen’s cheek and she’s shaking like a leaf. “I lied, Ash. I’m so sorry.”

He stands up, running his fingers through his hair. “And you’re telling me this now?”

I push him toward the hole. “You need to go, Ash.”

“I’m so sorry,” he tells me. “All this time …”

“You too, Rio.” Jen won’t look at either of us, even when I go and stand next to her. “Just go. I’ll be fine.”

“No. I’m not leaving you alone.” I grab her hand and hold it tight.

“Fine,” Ash mutters. I’ve forced him into a corner and he has to take the lead. It’s what he does. “I’ll go. But as soon as we get help, I’m coming back.”

“No, Ash.” I look into his eyes, holding them until he gives in. “If you care about us at all, don’t come back. Just send help.” He’s not moving, so I reach out and give him another push. “Go!”

After standing there opening and closing his fists for what feels like an eternity, he finally drops to his knees and crawls out, and the last we see of him are his blades.

Suddenly I’m finding it hard to breathe. My mouth is dry and I feel like everything good has just been sucked out of my life through that pathetic hole. I stick my head out and watch Ash clamber up on his prostheses, silhouetted like some African predatory animal. Marky and Charis are there waiting for him.

When Ash has explained why Jen and I aren’t coming, there’s a brief soundless argument, Charis and Marcus flailing their arms at Ash. For a moment all three look like they might return, but they stop when I shake my head: They have to go. Charis blows me a kiss and she and Marcus reluctantly melt into the tangled undergrowth. Before Ash follows, he turns to look over his shoulder and raises his hand briefly. Then he’s gone.

I crawl back inside and pull the mat back up over the opening, trying desperately to stay strong — for Jen.

When I get back to her side, Jen says, “Thanks,” quietly, and weeps into my shoulder. “Do you think all this — what’s happening to me — is punishment for what I did?”

“Jen — it’s not punishment. Besides, I completely forgive you.”

Jen groans quietly through her tears. “I hope Ash will forgive me.”

I pull her to me and hold her tight. “He will.”

“I know what he meant — why he wrote what he did in the letter.”

“You don’t have to talk about this.”

“I think he told his mum he was going to break up with me, but when he got blown up and I was there every day with him in the hospital, it all became too difficult. He didn’t want to hurt me. So he just pulled away. And now? Let’s just say that sometimes you can see that two people are meant for each other …”

I watch her watching me, and neither of us can speak. The truth has finally come out, but I don’t feel any better about it.

After a while Jen says, “This probably sounds stupid now, but can we still be friends?”

“It’s not stupid.”

“You haven’t answered my question.”

“That’s because I thought we already were.”

“But I’ve been —”

“Trust me.” I peep out the door to see where our guards are, in case they’re listening, but they’re still too busy getting high off that stuff they chew. “Compared to these maniacs, you haven’t been anything.”

Jen’s energy is all spent. She closes her eyes.

It’s boiling hot in our hut, and the air is so heavy and thick with smoke that it’s painful to breathe. So how come I feel like I’m freezing? I strain to see if I can hear the others outside, but they’ve gone, leaving a gaping hole in my chest every bit as big as the one we made in the wall. There’s nothing but jungle noises and fire out there. It’s just Jen and me now, alone.