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J
orge takes one t-shirt from one of the drawer of his office; he says he always has some clothes just in case.
“Just in case, what?” I ask him with my forehead frown.
He approaches to me while he buttons his t-shirt and gives me a fast kiss.
“In case the one I am wearing gets blur and I cannot go home to get change, you silly...”
“Jorge, people can see us...” I warn him watching behind me. The door is closed, but someone can walk in at any time.
“They better knock to my office before walking inside.”
He says using his intimidating scholar tone which far from scaring me turns very attractive to me. I know he has this tone only to talk to the rest of people and not me, and he doesn’t doubt about smiling when he notices my horny teenager face as consequence of his words.
“Well, but just in case, we better...”
“You were not this concern inside the maze...”
He is in a good mood today. He smiles with naughtiness while he talks. I pull down from the neck of his t-shirt until he is in front of me and I return the kiss he just gave me.
“You didn’t concerned either...” I answer with the same smile.
He hits gently my nose with his finger while he holds me by my waist.
“I missed you very much...” he says in low tone.
“I missed you too”
Ok I admit it, I pout, making his gesture sweetness while watching me with that childish expression.
“My little princess...” and he kisses me once more, moving me closer to him with his arms around my waist.
We separate abruptly when we heard someone knocking at the door. We hurried to sit and pretend we are... working? What will we say we are doing here today? I start noticing there are so many lagoons in this plan...
“Come in” Jorge answers trying to keep composure, watching me for last time and winking to me to help me calm my nerves.
It has been something so rare in him that instantly made me smile. And yes, I completely forgot I was nervous.
We see Claudia showing up, very smiley with her latest Chanel outfit, a beige, two pieces outfit with jacket and a pipe skirt which she pretended to use to impress her still husband. But as soon as she saw me, she rounds her eyes trying to find out what am I doing here as well, frustrating her plan to conquer Jorge back again. I feel like telling her: I am not here to impress him precisely, because I don’t need it. I am anxious for all this to finish and be able to tell her...
“Come in Claudia” Jorge says standing up “We were discussing about Himalaya case, you know” he explains excusing my presence there.
He grabs some papers from the first drawer of his desk, he takes them out and he signs them. He watches at me before giving them to Claudia, making sure I saw clearly what he is doing.
“Take them, they are already signed by me” and he extends them to her “If you do the favor of signing them also, I will pass them to procedure.”
I see Claudia decompose for rage in front of me. With my presence her, she can’t make a scene she uses to do and I can tell she is dying to do some. She grabs the papers with anger and scan them.
“If you can see those are the ones your lawyer wrote” Jorge settles.
Please, make her sign once for all...
“I can leave and come back in another time” I say when I see Claudia sits to read the full document.
“No, stay” Jorge begs me grabbing me by my arm and pulling me to sit again, watching me pleading “Claudia, if you don’t mind we will continue working while you read the document and sign it.”
“I won’t sign it now without calling my lawyer first.”
“You can call him and ask him to come here if you want. I will be here the whole day.”
“Very well...” and she watches me sidelong “I will call him and find out if he can come.”
She stands up irate and walks out of the office holding the papers in her hand, not happy about the encircled.
“So?” he asks me sitting in the other side of the table.
“What do you mean so? I am very nervous...”
He stretches his arm and grabs my hand trying to make me relax but, he actually achieves completely the opposite.
“I refer, do you believe me.”
“Yes... I do. But I am doing nothing here; this is very uncomfortable to everyone.”
Jorge doesn’t release my hand while he keeps talking. He caresses me with his thumb drawing circles and his soft skin manages to confuse with mine.
“Please, stay” he watches me pleading and repeat it again “stay with me today. This is the chance to make Claudia sign. We have been trying to meet for months just to celebrate the conciliation proceeding and it has been no manner to make it. I need to finish all this once for all. I believe she will not make a scandal if you are here and, therefore I will increase my chances to make her sign.”
“Ok... I’ll stay” and this time I am the one who squeezes his hand.
We hear Claudia’s high hills approaching and we released our hands immediately. And very opportune because, she walked inside the office without knocking at the door. And it seems to me she did it on purpose...
“He told me to send it from here by fax so he will check everything is correct.”
“It can be sent in reception” and he makes a gesture pointing the door again.
Claudia gets out once more with the papers in her hand, some perplex about the whole situation.
“Jorge, you are very serious...” I say pretty surprised about his attitude “I didn’t know you could be this way and, you were always very distant with me but...”
I have seen how serious he is at work with everybody but, this... I couldn’t bear to be treated this way by him.
“I have always been like this with everyone” he answers with no hesitation.
“But with Claudia...”
“With Claudia also, Laura” he notices my confusion gesture and confine himself to smile “I know I am different with you. I cannot stop smiling; I do not know what happens with me.”
“Well, well... You were always very serious with me. You didn’t even give me a sad gaze sometimes.”
“That is not true. Every time I saw you from the distant, I tried to approach with any excuse even to greet you while I passed by.”
“Really?”
I have sounded ridiculous and stupid. I believe you can imagine this, right? I made Jorge laugh for an instant after my answer and, he has to make a big effort to stay serious once again, making me a gesture like saying you see what I mean?
“Besides, I was not serious after the same reasons why I am with Claudia. I was serious because I respected you, you know it already. I do not know a different manner to demonstrate it.”
“Well, you could respect me by smiling at least.”
“That was because it was difficult to me to behave in front of you.”
We stood looking each other for a moment like a pair of fools, part smile in each one’s faces. One smile displayed between two mouths is the greatest complicity proof in a couple.
“I want to kiss you” he tells me almost in a whisper.
My pulse accelerates just thinking about it. Two words and I surrender in front of him, you could almost say this is a regretful act but extraordinary as well.
“Don’t say this, you know we can’t right now.”
“I know this is silly but, it is difficult to me to do what was normal until a month ago. I would throw everything out of the table right now, I would put you over and I would make you things you cannot imagine.”
My cheeks runs on fire as fast as he starts talking and I think I will blow immediately after he finishes. I stretch my leg almost unconsciously until I managed to touch him.
“Do not dare me...” he advices me closing his eyes a little and hugging me with his gaze.
If we continue this way I won’t respond for my behavior so, I stand up in a rush.
“Let’s stop this, Jorge, because I am getting disturbed.”
He stands up too and he steps in front of me, rubbing his hand with my hand. Standing there, in this office in which I have seen him so many times in suit receiving his clients, I have him here with jeans and t-shirt, breathing accelerated as consequence of my proximity. This is insane. But this is an overwhelmingly beautiful insane.
“We will go to my house when we leave the office and we will not go out until Christmas finishes” he tells me as a promise, getting close to my ear.
While he separates slowly from me our mouths stood only few millimeters far. But we heard Claudia’s high hills once more, which I already hate as much as I hate her. We separate each other again quickly, although this time she seems surprised when she walked in and saw us; I don’t know why exactly. She frowns her forehead for an instant like knowing something doesn’t fit here but not knowing what it is.
“Has your lawyer answered?” Jorge asks her, trying to appear serene.
“Yes, it is the document he wrote... but no.”
“No what.”
Jorge’s voice seems to be broken with this absolute “no” which has drilled our ears when we heard it.
“I will not sign” Claudia sentenced crossing her arms.
“Why now!” he sort of yells; desperate “I agreed with everything you wanted. For God, Claudia, let’s finish this once for all, what else do you want? I will agree as well.”
Claudia looks at me and I perfectly understand the gesture. I think is no longer the time to be here and he will even thank me for leaving few minutes to allow them discuss the details of the situation. Or actually yell, which I believe is what they will finish doing as soon as I leave the office.
“Jorge, I will go out for a moment. I’ll continue working in the meeting room.”
I see him nod without even looking at me and I leave his office more than pleasant for leaving the zero point. As soon as I closed the door I start listening Claudia’s voice; she arose her tone very much when I left. The rest of persons, who were there, left what they were doing and turned in direction of Jorge’s office, some surprised after the impact of the Third World War few meters far from where I was. I could only shrug my shoulders like a good girl who has never break a dish and walked right to the meeting room to wait for this to finish once for all.
I lost the count of how many times I walked around the room like confined animal. There is nothing to read here but encyclopedias and legal books which appear super entertaining for every person in suit who work here in the law firm, I mean, something total boring for the rest of human kind. No, wait... Can I keep messing the jacket-clad men if Jorge is one of them? I am not very sure of what he would think if he finds out...
Then, I received a message from work. The major has convoked the press to the council in half an hour so, I have to get out the law firm almost running; I asked Conchi in reception to tell Jorge when he gets out were I had to go.
I arrived just on time to the council. I see Carlos from the distance, holding the camera. I walk toward him and in that moment the major walked inside the hall.
Holly shit, seems to say Carlos with his face expression.
After some statements which could be saved considering how meaningless and even offensive for human intelligence, journalists started to grab our stuffs. I just send the data to the agency through email and I grabbed my few belongings as well. I walk to the group of journalists who I already know from other press conferences and we briefly comment about our Christmas before leaving the place.
Carlos notices I am a little disturbed even when I try to appear regularity since I got here. He has been my co-worker long enough to be able to know when I am not in my best time.
“Is everything ok?” he asks me in low tone.
“Yes, I’ll tell you later...” I lie shrugging my shoulders.
He is going to answer when I see Claudia crossing the door, followed by Jorge.
Claudia’s rotten face predicts nothing positive and the tension on Jorge’s face makes me fear the worse. My first thought was tragedy and it seems I am in the correct path...
I think fast and I grab Carlos’s arm.
“Take people away from here as much as you can, please...” I accomplished to tell him before having Claudia in front of me with red murder eyes which are trying to jump out of its orbit.
Carlos watches me surprised but he does what I asked him, he took people away from there although, they could listen to the first words Claudia literally howl in my face.
“Do you believe yourself too smart trying to fuck my husband, shitty snot?”
People can’t avoid dropping an astonished little laugh after listening to that phrase and they walk away from us between snorts, pretending they were talking about something else. But they are journalists, the desire of knowing what is happening is running inside their blood...
“Claudia please, you do not make a scene, we know each other” Jorge grabs her by her arm pulling her “Conchi told her where you were gone and Claudia has the paranoia we have something between us” Jorge explains with his face broken with nervous, stress, anger...
“Ahm... and what can I do for you, Claudia.”
I try to appear cold but, I am shivering inside. This woman makes me nauseas.
“You don’t come with bullshit to me. Or you think I didn’t realize what was happening today? Or what was happening in the party the other day?” she says increasing her voice tone high enough to force people to turn and look at us.
I don’t blame them; I would probably do the same. I see some council employees who come to clear the hall as they usually do but, they started talking to my co-workers and decided to stay and watch the show.
What I had left...
“Claudia, I have no idea what you are talking about. Jorge is helping me with my work since a while. So, please leave this place...” I say trying to get out avoiding more drama.
“I don’t want to” she says releasing herself from Jorge’s arm “So you have been together since a while, he? And I had to sign the divorce paper, of course...”
“Claudia, please. Laura is at her work, please understand...”
Jorge tries to reason with her with no much success and, I have to admit his parsimony doesn’t help at all. He knows the way she is, does he pretend to calm her down using this soft and tranquil voice tone?
I am feeling dizzy. My panic is increasing. I don’t like to be part of drama in front of my co-workers perhaps, although; I think anyone would feel embarrassed in this situation. I realize my legs start to shake. Too many people staring at me...
“And you” she tells him rising her voice “what you want is to get laid” and turning to me “Do you believe he wants something with you, runny? You are his chiefs’ daughter, what do you think he wants? Jorge is the coldest person I ever known, he would do anything for his work but not for people. And people like him don’t change. You have to be very naïve to believe what he should be telling you... he is just like his father so, get ready” she says sounding almost like a threat, watching me with a disgusting gesture while she laughs.
“Claudia, it is enough! Get out of here right now!” Jorge roars while he points the way out with his finger.
All of us who were there shrink a little when we heard him scream. It was even scary. People are still there watching to us from the distance, more intrigue every time about the discussion. I am sure they already bet: Who will pull the other’s hair first? Who is the lover and who is the wife? They are not listening very clear the conversation but I am sure they find out what is this about. I will faint in some time, I don’t know if embarrassment or indignation will be the reason.
Claudia seems to recover her sanity after noticing everybody is looking at her like she is insane.
“I don’t plan to sign anything until I take everything you have and I pull you on shit, both of you” and she adds looking at me “He is closer to be your father than your lover. This is even disgusting: A forty years old married man with a small daughter, fucking his chiefs’ daughter who met when she was minor... Besides, I am curious to know what Carmen thinks of all this. Let’s find out what she thinks of her daughter being a slut who fucks one of her employees.”
And she turns back very relax and leaves, like if she didn’t say in a round all of the things she said, sweeping away the slightest calm I had left. I don’t react. I struggle to stand on my feet, which is hard enough. I stood petrified right there, trying to expel out of my brain every hurtful words the woman of my lover? Just dropped without hesitation. I hear distant voices from personnel of the council asking people to leave the room. So timely...
Carlos is not gone yet. He approaches to Jorge and me and I hear him talking from the distance, where my mind has just transported me.
“Laura... Are you ok?” he asks me. Words don’t come out from me, so he tries with Jorge “I think you better get out this place before some of those who are still here come to gossip, you know...”
I see Jorge nods and squeezes his shoulder as a sign of gratitude. Jorge saw him taking people away from there and Carlos seems really concerned so, I think at least he liked him.
“Come on, Laura” Jorge says grabbing by my shoulders “Let’s get out of here, come on.”
He turns to thank Carlos and we left the place. He calls a taxi which leaves us in the law firm parking to get on his car. I think that was the order of the events but I can’t completely confirm it either.
“Do you agree with going to my mother’s house?”
I am still in my world. I know I have to talk but I swear I can’t. Right now I am upset with everyone, even myself. I am hurt because Jorge let his woman told me all those horrible things, just to hurt me and insult me for free. I am indignant for not knowing how to react and for being defeated by fear. I am...
“Laura...” he says, trying to keep his sight on the road “Come on Laura, say something, please...”
So embarrassed, with my co-workers... and now my mother... and problems and more problems everywhere...
We arrived at his mother’s house and I continue in total silence, trying to calm down before talking once more. We got inside right when rain started to fall. Jorge turns on the chimney and sits next to me in the couch. He is worried about my mutism, I know. I imagine he is worried because he doesn’t know exactly what I might be thinking right now. And he better doesn’t find out...
“Laura... please...” he caresses my face and watches me concerned “I am very sorry for all what happened. I swear I tried to get on time when Conchi told me Claudia left running after knowing where you were. And, of course, considering the scene she displayed to me just before this... But I could not arrive first. I am really sorry, Laura.”
I am starting to react. Jorge continues caring my face and my hand with kindness but suddenly, it bothers me to be touched by him. I have been dealing with this for days and I am getting tired for not knowing whose side he is with. And this is very simple: or he is with her or he is with me.
I unconsciously take his hands out and he stays with his hands in the middle of the way between his body and my body, not understanding my reaction.
“Laura... What happens with you? Why...?”
“Why have you let her to tell me all those things?” this is the first thing I spit on his face after all this time in silence “You always do the same. You are more concerned about what Claudia could do or say than for how I could feel about all this.”
He takes some seconds to think on what I just told him. I can’t even listen to him breathing. He tries to support his hands over my legs but I take them away without even looking at his face. What I want is to get an answer for my question; it has not been rhetorical or anything alike. He stands up like he was pushed by a spring as fast as I took his hands away and he kept his hands inside his pockets. He walks toward the chimney where he stays quiet, watching how the enlighten fire consumes the part blackened wood which was put inside the chimney by himself few moments ago.
“I have not done such thing, Laura” he finally answers “I just tried not to aggravate the situation more than what it already is.”
“The other day in the party, your woman suggested I was a child and she treated me in a very disdainful manner about it. But today she has insulted me in every possible manner she could find” and I number with my fingers, just in case he doesn’t remember: “snot, bitch, runny, naïve... well, later she added shitty snot, slut, she accused me of fucking the law firm employees and, considering what she said that I was the responsible of destroying your marriage. And what did you do? Tell her in a polite manner not to make a scene. Oh! Or better like in the party, giving her the reason and say she didn’t mean to offend me when she said that. Because I am stupid and I don’t know when someone is saying something to offend me, of course.
“I said I was sorry, the only thing I pretended...”
“You were sorry and today you did something worse.”
“It would be even worse if I would defend you.”
And he dares to say that...
“Even worse than being yelled slut in front of my partners from work, who witnessed how you remained there in silence? Really? You gave her the reason when you kept quiet. Is that what I mean to you? Your whore, the one you fuck with during your divorce to avoid getting bored?”
“Do you really think this way about me? After these days?” does he sound indignant? Really? Him? “What have I done to make you think this way about me? Because honestly, Laura, I have tried to make you feel comfortable all the time and I have tried to prove you I care about you.”
“And this is how you think you prove it? Your woman calls me a slut and you keep quiet, how should I process this?”
“What did you want me to do? Defend you and demonstrate her we have something between us?”
“Shit, Jorge...” I wiggle in my place and a small headache starts taking control of me “What would you do if we would have nothing between us? You see someone calling slut to your chiefs’ daughter in front of your face and you do nothing? Doing what you did you have confirmed it strongly in case you didn’t notice. But, well, your reaction has been useful to me to realize where we are exactly.”
“What do you mean where we are?”
“Deep down seems Claudia was right, people don’t change...”
I say it because that is what I think in this moment. I have felt humiliated and not only about Claudia. Jorge’s behavior has hurt me even harder.
“You think...?” he tries to clear his throat to avoid sounding shrill “Do you really believe I am the way Claudia has described me?”
“You allowed her to call me slut in your face and you have moved no finger to defend me!”
My voice resounds in the walls of the room, forcing Jorge to round his eyes almost until completely closing them. He raises his vision in direction to the roof and moves his head down, locking his sight in the floor this time. And he hits the counter of the chimney with the palm of his hand right before start walking around the room with no certain destination. I shrug in the couch, almost converting myself a ball and I start chilling slightly. Nervous or cold? Maybe a little of both.
“I do not know how to handle all this” he admits still furious “I do not know how to behave to make everything turns right! For the first time in my life I want to conserve something” and he looks at me from the opposite couch, supporting his hands over it, standing behind it “I want to conserve you in my life, Laura. That is what I care. I know Claudia will become crazy if she finds out of this and I want to protect you, that is it. But if I do this way you think I am failing to you, and I do not know how... I do not know, Laura, I do not know what I can do.”
I would lie if I say listening to him saying he wants to conserve me in his life has produced no effect on me. I have staid transposed, hypnotized after his words. This time I look down to save myself of been uncovered of my excitement after this few words. But what I care for real are facts. And, until now, every time Claudia tells me something, there is no reaction from him.
Jorge walks toward me with determination, like he doesn’t care what I could tell him. He sits next to me and raises my chin to make me watch him at his eyes. And although I resisted, he doesn’t give up and finishes grabbing my face with his hands, pulling me to his face and pinpointing with his glance.
“Forgive me” he simply asks. I don’t answer and try to get free from him but, he continues holding me, forcing me to keep looking at his eyes “Laura, forgive me, please. From now on just tell me how do you want me to deal with all this and we will do this at your way if it makes you feel more comfortable, ok?”
“At my way...” I repeat, pretty satisfied with the proposal.
He intuits a smile in my lips and he smiles too.
“At your way. Everything. With Claudia, with your parents, with people in general. Tell me how do you want to make things. Just tell me and I will do what you ask me to do. What I do not want is you to keep thinking you are not important to me, because that is not true, Laura.”
He looks at me waiting for an answer. And before even thinking, I already nod with my head and letting him kiss me in my lips so softly that he almost tickles me. His lips are so cold. It seems to be ice and I shiver again after this contact, something he notices. He watches my too hot lips with his forehead frown then, he puts one of his hands in my front.
“You have some fever, do you feel fine?” he asks worried.
“This is just for the stress of the situation, don’t worry. I am fine.”
I don’t know if I am ok or not. I was so nervous and so frustrated at the beginning, so angry later that I had no time to elucidate if my headache or those chilling meant something else.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. I take it out and for my disgrace, I see who calls me right now very persistent is my mother. And it was about time... I show Jorge my mobile screen and I almost swear I saw one drop of cold sweat running through his forehead.
“At your way, Laura” he tells me again and, he supports over the back of the couch, passing his hand along my back and letting me take the decision I want to take in our name.
And I hang up.
“Hello mother, what...?”
And she doesn’t even give me time to finish my phrase.
“Laura, please tell me it is not true what Claudia has just told me.”
Wow, angry is short to say. She even sounds hurt. I can’t even imagine what she had told her.
“You mean the show she displayed in my work, including several kinds of insults? Yes, it is true.”
“What do you talk about? I mean that you have got in the middle of her marriage and you are the reason why they are getting divorced.”
Wow! She has used the big guns, he? Such a whore...
“I mean Claudia showed up in the council today after a press conference and she started yelling at me any kind of insults in front of my co-worker” and I add looking at Jorge “and no, what she told you is not true, I have not got in the middle of their marriage, not for breaking it, not for anything. She is inventing it, clearly” and I turn the tables, I have no more choice “I am surprised you believe such lies, mother.”
“Daughter...” my mother stays in silence for an instant, processing the information I just gave her. I think she feels some guilty for calling me this way and for distrust of me since the origin “Are you serious you are not the responsible of their divorce?”
“Of course not. It is offensive you believe something so absurd even for a second.”
“Then, Jorge and you don’t have a secret relationship the way she told me?”
I look at Jorge again. I could say it. Right now. Acknowledge we have something and fuck the shit with all this bullshit. People should get use to the idea, just like Claudia. But later I remember what Jorge told me and how concerned he is for finishing his divorce as soon as possible and how crazy Claudia will be if she confirms her suspicion. So I decide to do the less and the most honorable at the same time. Lie to my mother to protect Jorge.
“Mother, stop saying foolishness. Today is not a day for this after what Claudia did.”
Well, I haven’t lie completely after all, right? This is more like part treason. Or even a quarter part treason.
“I do not know... It seems odd to me. I have never seen anything between both of you, but Claudia...”
Well, this appreciation of us hurt me a little. She has never seen anything? Really?
“Mother, it seems ok to me for Claudia to be your friend but, I think I deserve some trust from you considering I am your daughter.”
“Yes... You are right...”
No, she doesn’t say it convinced, but as a ridiculous conventionalism in which mothers have to trust their daughters above a simple friendship. And I start feeling how hard it is when your own mother deep down prefers to believe in someone who doesn’t even carry her own blood. And in that instant I understand something has changed inside me as well and that unfortunately, nothing will be the same between us.
I hang my mother’s call after more ridiculous conventionalisms and I leave the mobile over the table. I want to forget about the world at least for a while. Not even think. Jorge doesn’t need to receive an explanation, as he perfectly knows what Claudia told to my mother after listening to my answers. And it seems to me this is something he doesn’t want to be told once more.
He keeps caring my cheeks and my hands, no talking. He doesn’t appear to know what to say in this moment. What he does seem to know is that it wasn’t good to me to receive a call from my mother telling me in my face she doesn’t trust me and she actually believes me capable of getting in the middle of a marriage. And who knows how many more outrageous things she didn’t want to tell me plus, she believes Claudia and not me. It is devastating to find out your mother thinks of you this way. And I think the only thing I have left is to hold the idea Jorge didn’t lie to me. Because, if that is another big lie...
And I remember in that moment what Claudia said about why she thought it was the reason of Jorge to be with me.
What if...?
“Jorge, one thing... What Claudia said...”
“Which one of all.”
“That you were with me because of my parents.”
Jorge paints his eyes white and places one hand in his head.
“Laura, won’t you ever trust in me? This is not going to work if you do not effort as well, I mean it, and from now even more...” but he sees I don’t react, waiting for an answer “Honestly, I think I have more possibilities to lose my job instead of been promoted if your mother finds out...”
He is right. He is taking the risk of losing his job; he can’t be with me for that reason. Besides, he doesn’t treat Claudia the way he treats me. No, Jorge wouldn’t do that... right?
And I continue digging inside his fears.
“And what about your father...?”
Jorge doesn’t seem to be glad with the question. He lifts and walks to the chimney once more, supporting his elbow over it and looking to nowhere. He seems to be recalling something so sad or very painful; or both at the same time.
“I do not want to talk about that, Laura.”
Well, seriousness comes back to his voice and face...
“But Jorge, Claudia said that...”
“I know what she said, ok?” he says raising his voice, making me jump backward scared. He lowers the tone after watching my reaction “Excuse me, I did not mean... is just that I do not talk about my father. That is in the past and I do not desire to talk about him until the day he dies.”
His last words seem to come from the deepest place of his soul and reach mine in the shape of sharping claws. Jorge can be serious, distant... But cruel?
“That is very hard...”
“No, no it is not. You do not understand because you have Angel as a father, but...” he reflects before continue talking about it “Laura, not everyone has that luck. I do not want to make you change the concept you have about me if I tell you about it. I want everything to continue the same until now.”
“Why would I change the way I think about you after telling something of your father?”
Jorge sighs deep, losing his sight in the floor.
“Claudia knew through my mother. And as you can see, she thinks I am like him.”
“But, how? She looks at you like someone I don’t see. She thinks of you as someone cold and calculating. But to me you are the most sweet and caring person I have met in my life.”
He directs his sight to my eyes. He seems overwhelm and thankful at the same time for what I just said. But this is the truth. If he attracts me in an inexplicable manner, after these days the reasons are totally supported. But he seems to hesitate about the way I see him.
“Do you... believe I am like that?”
“Of course you are, this is not that I believe it. I don’t know why you are not the same manner with everybody else, but you are this way.”
He starts walking around the room without lifting his eyes from the floor, with his hands joined at his back.
“No, I am not, Laura. I do not know why I am this way with you. Maybe it is due to the manner you consider me. And that is why I want you to preserve your opinion. I need you next to me to continue been the way I am when I am with you.”
“Will you tell me some day?”
He supports again on the chimney and watches me in detail from there, figuring out if he should answer to the question. I plead him with my eyes. He seems to be asking me through those green eyes not to be demanded for something alike as he can’t refuse anything to me.
“Laura...”
“Please. Just tell me you will try at least to tell me someday.”
He finally nods. I see how he clenched the fist he has supported over the chimney counter. I want to hug him and make him feel he can trust in me, he has to understand I could never have wrong ideas about him.
I support myself with one hand over the armrest of the couch to stand up and get close to him but I get dizzy and I have to come back to the sit.
“Laura, do you feel fine?” he says walking to me, scared.
“Yes, I told you. I must be tired, nothing else.”
“Wait, I will bring you some water.”
He walks fast to the kitchen and brings me fresh water. I drink a little but I am worse every time. I still have the trembling I already had standing in the council. Jorge touches my forehead once again and his expression even scares me.
“For God, Laura, you are on fire! Why you did not tell me you felt bad when I asked you earlier?”
“I don’t know, I thought it was because of the stress...”
“Come on, I will take you to bed” he says pushing me to stand up.
“No, no, not to bed, I turn overwhelm.”
“What do you mean you turn overwhelm? Do not say foolishness, you are not going to stay here, you are sick.”
“Let’s eat something and I’ll see later how I feel.”
I try to stand up once more but I feel like something heavy pulls me down. Luckily Jorge caught me just before I fell down over the floor.
“God, Laura, but what happens to you?”
He appears concerned, although Jorge is always too much concerned about me. How could I have wrong ideas about him if he treats me this way?
He helps me to lie down over the couch. He fans the flames of the chimney and covers me with a slim blanket.
“Wait, I will call to a doctor I know to find out if he can come and tell us what is happening.”
“No, don’t go... stay with me, please...”
I hold his arm and try to keep him close to me. It is like I need him to prevent fainting in this moment. I need to have him with me; otherwise, I feel I will get worse. He sits next to me and makes the phone call from there while he tenders my forehead.
The doctor arrives after a while accompanied by a lady who I think I have seen somewhere else but, in my condition I am not able to remember. Why is this familiar? That man with white mustache and inquisitive sight explores me while Jorge talks to the lady, although I can’t listen to what they are saying.
After a while, the doctor meets both of them. I am still trembling and I am not sure anymore of having this much cold to excuse I don’t stop trembling. Then I feel nauseas. I try to stand up once again to go to the bathroom but I fall down over the floor as soon as my feet touched the grown, unpredicted, giving me no time to hold from something and avoid the tremendous falling.
Shit, I hit my knee with the corner of the table and my painful screech alerts Jorge, who turns after hearing me and finds me over the floor. He runs to pick me up some upset for trying to stand up after he told me previously, not to do it.
“But Laura, what are you doing?”
I still feel nauseas and the only thing I want is to make it to the bathroom as fast as I can.
“I need to go to the bathroom, I feel nauseas.”
“Go with her” the doctor tells Jorge, who leads me to the door.
“I will pass with her, darling” I hear the lady who I still don’t manage to look long enough to recognize her, telling to Jorge.
Jorge doubts for an instant but he finally let her pass with me. Right now I don’t care about anything, I feel so bad that I don’t care who accompanies me.
I try to vomit but I don’t achieve it. Nauseas, I only have nauseas. The lady is there standing next to me and when I try to stand up; she grabs me to help me not to fall again. Right in the moment she grabs my arm, she seems to jump about something and I notice she shivered not able to dissimulate it.
“Some eyes, a shiny page, fused in black...” she says staring at me, with a voice which seems to come right from the underworld.
“What?” I ask not understanding a thing.
Is because of the fever or she hasn’t told anything coherent?
“Some eyes, a shiny page, fused in black... Is everything I see I’m sorry.”
What is this woman telling me? She has told these words like feeling sorry for me and she is scaring me enough to feel like moving far from her as much as possible.
“Where... where is Jorge?” I mumble “I want... I want him to come... Jorge!” but I am not capable of screaming louder, I am exhausted.
Jorge comes running and sees my face with anguish and fear. He understands something happens and he turns to the lady, upset.
“Mother, what are you telling her?”
Is she his mother? What is she doing here? And now I remember I have seen her... Yes, we were introduced in Jorge’s wedding, to which I had to attend unfortunately. She hasn’t change too much, to be honest. She looks like my parents age although Jorge is almost ten years older than me so, I guess she had him very young. Her middle curl burnet hair falls over some small gentle shoulders, like the rest of her body actually. She still smiles with sorrow with her slim and hard tighten lips, watching me with her honey like eyes. She is a woman who seems has lived too much but still has strength enough for whatever life puts in her path. Sweet and vigorous could be the two adjectives which describe her. And beautiful: her face lines are so beautiful and so elegant which immediately remembers me to Jorge in person. Definitely, she is his mother.
“Son, nothing... Just that I have seen...”
“Please, mother, not those things now. Laura can’t handle all that in this moment. Leave it; I will handle from now on” and talking to me “Come, princess, hold from my neck, I will carry you on my arms.”
“You only call me this way when there is no one around...” I remember him as a childish complaining tone, almost powerless to keep talking.
That seems to amuse Jorge as well as his mother, who I see moving her head down while she draws a timid smile.
“Well” my riding knight explains “I think my mother can save the secret to us” and he talks to her, like this is all about a game “right?”
His mother nods while she continues smiling and Jorge looks at me again, rounding me with his arms and lifting me to take me to the couch, where he gently left me. I hear the doctor telling him something about an infection, a low tension, stress and I don’t know what else. Jorge nods and keeps asking but it is nothing serious, right? He is still concerned about me just for a simple fever, this is so sweet and he might seem cruel but watching him so defeated because of me, makes me feel I can trust him when he says he wants me in his life. I can believe him, at least for now.
After few minutes, that doctor and Jorge’s mother left us alone once more. Jorge walks toward me and sits next to me again. My eyes are closed trying to overcome dizziness but I feel his body next to me like a magnet which attracts other hopelessly. So I left myself to be driven to his, supporting myself over his shoulder.
“Laura ...” he whispers to me.
“Mmmm...”
“You have to rest; the doctor said that stress and fatigue are only going to aggravate it. I am going to take you to bed and I will go to the pharmacy” I moan to complain but Jorge gets serious and it seems that his fatherly sense has come to light “Without discussion, Laura. Right now I'm taking you to bed, do not argue.
He picks me up again and leaves me in the room, lying on the comfortable but cold bed without him at my side.
“Jorge” I call him when I see he's going out through the door.
"Tell me," he replies, backing up.
“Was that your mother?”
“Yes” he acknowledges “the doctor is her neighbor, she saw him going out and when he told her where he was directing... Do not you remember her?
“From your wedding” and my gesture contracts, reflecting the little pain I can’t hide in this state “She told me very strange things...”
He approaches me, worried, and not only because of my physical discomfort, he draws uneasy visage suddenly, and sits on the bed.
“What did she say?”
“I don’t know... Some eyes, a shiny blade and... I think melted in black or something...”
He remains thoughtful for a moment, stroking his chin carefully with a pair of fingers and then brings them to my hair to separate it from my face, passing it behind my ear. He caresses my cheeks and my chin as if it were a very valuable sculpture. He always makes me feel important with just a simple caress.
“Do not worry, my mother's things. Do not think about it, okay?” he bends down to kiss my forehead and then leaves the room without looking back.
I hear after a few minutes the main door of the house is closed.
Silence. Tranquility.
I sigh deeply and fall asleep.
“Come, Lau, I help you get up. You have to take this.”
I open my eyes and see Jorge sitting next to me with a glass in his hand. He helps me to get up and I drink the liquid he has prepared to me. I do not even notice the taste, I only hear him tell me that I have to drink it completely and he dedicates me some sweet words that make a placebo effect, calming any pain I might have at this moment.
“Now you have to have some dinner, okay?”
“Dine? What time is it?”
I try to incorporate...
“Nine o'clock at night.”
...and no, he doesn’t let me. He blocks my body gently with his hands and makes me fall again. And I don’t have the strength to argue unfortunately.
“Have I slept so much?”
He gets up with the glass in his hand. He looks at me and smiles at me almost from the door.
“Yes, but now you're going to find yourself better surely.”
After a while -according to my current perception of time, which may be between a second and an hour- he returns with a tray. An orange juice, a small plate with a grilled chicken fillet with some lettuce and a glass of water. I try to eat what I can, but I can only finish the juice, take two pieces of chicken and a leaf of lettuce. Jorge takes the rest and returns to get into bed with me, and he can’t imagine how much I appreciate it. He hugs me and I support next to him. I put my arm around his chest, holding him with all the strength I can, which is very little actually.
“How do you feel?”
“I don’t know, tired. My whole body hurts. I’m so sorry...”
“What do you mean you are sorry? Why?”
“Because I got sick during your vacations and, for staying here in your house. Take me to my house tomorrow and we'll see each other as soon as I get better.”
Jorge laughs as if what I just said was some kind of joke. He separates my hair from my forehead and kisses me on it. I don’t get tired of his kisses, his caresses, his affectionate signs toward me, whatever they may be.
“But Lau, what do you say? I am not going to leave you at your house. And if you had fallen sick there, I would have stayed with you too to take care of you.”
“But I don’t want you to get sick too.”
He comes back to me and kisses me in the mouth. A long and passionate kiss which leaves me completely silent. And excited; shit. I notice the fever throughout my body confused with another type of heat very different at this moment.
“As you see I do not care, what I want is for you to recover. Tell me what you need to get better.”
“Well... It would be good a shock therapy.”
“One what?”
“Yes, you know. Some exercise for example, to lower the fever. That kiss was...” and I start fooling around the buckle on his belt. Actually, my hands fidget without me being able to do anything to prevent it. It is clear that Jorge turns me on even finding myself to die.
“Laura! “ he exclaims in amazement, pulling my hand away from his belt “You are not even to have you standing for a second, how are we going to do anything!”
“Oh... Is that you kiss me like that and of course...”
I still caress him over his jeans. When I feel he begins to get excited too, my breathing starts to accelerate. But then I feel like I'm drowning and I try to get as much air as I can. No, I can see that I'm not very well...
“Laura, it's over, not to mention” he says almost angry “Look how you are. Stop fiddling around because you cannot even move, can you see?”
“But I just want to...”
“You cannot fancy anything other than resting. Come on, let’s sleep.”
“But stay with me” I ask, wrapping my arm around his chest again “I feel better if you are here. I like you to take care of me.”
I can feel Jorge's smile on my skin when he kisses me again on the forehead.
“Of course I am staying here, princess. I will never move from your side.”
He makes me lie on top of him again and he continues to caress me with sweetness until my sleep overcomes me.