-HINDLEY-
I jumped with a start, my heart racing. Was Rory back? I stretched my arm across the bed, not surprised to find nothing but cool sheets on the other side. He still wasn’t home and I was choked with anxiety and fear. I glanced at the clock beside me. It read 1:33 a.m.
I pushed up, but stilled when I noticed the curtains covering the sliding glass door blowing in the moonlight. When my eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, I recoiled, slamming into the headboard when I saw a silhouette standing next to the window. My heartbeat slowed as I realized it wasn’t an intruder. It was Rory. I didn’t say anything, I let him stand quietly. When he was ready, I knew he’d talk.
His arms were raised above his head, his fingers combing through his thick hair as he leaned quietly against the glass, staring down at the ocean below.
What could possibly have happened that would make him threaten to kill another human being? I wanted to think I knew Rory Gregor, inside and out, but the man I saw on the phone tonight was foreign, like a split personality. Dark Rory scared me. That was an understatement. He petrified me. I let my head fall back against the headboard, lightly sighing, trying to figure out a way to bring back my Skater Boy.
“Shelly was my sister,” he said quietly.
Oh, shit. He had a sister?
He turned slowly, but made no move to come closer. His face was barely visible in the soft light of the moon’s glow, but it was still breathtakingly beautiful.
I sat as still, afraid any movement may stop him.
“She was two and I was six when my mom married her current husband.”
I remained frozen, afraid to interrupt his story. The silence between us dragged on, but eventually he began to speak again.
“Vic had always beaten my mom, but he never messed with me and Shelly. When I turned twelve all that changed. I decided to stand up against him, try to protect my mother. Instead of beating her that night, he beat the fuck out of me, knocking me out cold. It was pretty much the same story every day after that until I turned sixteen and fought back, beating the shit out of him.”
Holy hell.
“I don’t remember any of it,” he continued. “The police said I beat him unconscious. My mom let the cops take me to jail, never once intervening to protect me or tell them I’d only been protecting her and Shelly.”
I wanted to run to Rory, grab him and bring him into my embrace, but just like he’d done with me when I told him my story, I had to let him continue on his own.
He stalked toward the bed and sat down. His shoulders slumped and his head rested in his hands.
I couldn’t stand his broken state. I crawled over the covers and gently rubbed his back, caressing him from shoulder to shoulder.
“When the cops took me away, I was petrified for Shelly,” he said. “I knew without me there, Vic would probably take out his aggressions on her, and it wouldn’t be just physical.”
My stomach lurched and rolled with nausea at his insinuation. I physically fought against the need to vomit.
He twisted around and dragged me into his arms. “Oh, God, Hindley, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you or scare you tonight.”
I caressed his face, trying to relieve his anxiety like he always did for me. “I’m fine, Rory. Go on. I want to hear the rest of your story.” This was probably the first time he’d ever spoken about the horrors of his childhood and it would take time for him to feel safe in my arms.
“The last thing I remember as they shoved me in the back of the cop car was the look on Shelly’s face. She was petrified, and I didn’t have a way to protect her from the monster that had lived in our house basically her entire life.”
He drew in a ragged breath and reclined us both onto the bed, coming to rest against the headboard. He stared out through the large glass wall in front of him, lost in some type of misery that I couldn’t take away.
“The judge sentenced me to six months in a juvenile detention center. When I got out four months later, I tried to go back home to check on Shelly but she wasn’t there. My mother answered the door, her face a busted and bruised mess.”
“Good God,” I whispered.
“It was clear that Vic was still abusing her, and I feared he was hurting Shelly as well. She told me Vic would kill me if he found out I was there and that I should leave and never come back. I told her I wasn’t leaving without Shelly. I was nearly seventeen and I’d already worked out in my head how I could make a living and take care of her, just the two of us. She told me if I didn’t leave, she’d call the cops and have me arrested again for child molestation.”
“What?” I shouted. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, covering my mouth. Thinking of Rory as a child sex predator was like calling Mother Theresa an ax murderer.
“It’s all right.”
His half smile gave me a minute of relief, but it didn’t last long.
“You see, I always knew Vic was evil from the first time my mom brought him home,” he said. “Something inside me told me he was dangerous in more ways than just physical. Shortly after he moved in, I started sleeping in Shelly’s room. I was afraid he would try something with her, and I wanted to make sure I was there, just in case.”
He raked his hands through his hair. “When I was six and she was two, it seemed innocent. But when I was fourteen and she was ten, it seemed perverted.” He grabbed my shoulders. “It wasn’t like that, Hindley, I swear. It wasn’t like that at all, you have to believe me. I wanted to protect her.”
“It’s all right, Rory, I believe you. I know you’re a protector.” I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile as I pulled one hand up and gently stroked his cheek, happy to feel him lean in toward my touch.
“My mother found me in Shelly’s bed and was scared. Vic convinced her that I was molesting Shelly, even though Shelly and I vehemently denied it. From that moment on, my mother said I couldn’t come anywhere near Shelly. I don’t like to think about it, but I’m pretty sure that’s when Vic started molesting her.” His eyes closed and tears slid down his cheeks.
Oh, no.
I wrapped myself around him, body and soul, and held him as his shoulders shook with sobs. Finally, his breathing calmed and I loosened my grip, thankful when he continued.
“When I beat Victor McKinney unconscious, the judge said I was an irredeemable delinquent. But I wasn’t, Hindley.” His eyes begged me to understand. “I wanted to kill him so he would never hurt Shelly again. I couldn’t give a shit less about me or my mother. It was Shelly I was trying to save. Instead, I pushed her right into the arms of the biggest monster she’d ever known.”
“Rory, I know you’re not a delinquent and you’re anything but irredeemable. I love you.” I sat up on my knees and kissed his eyes, trying to dry his tears.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and dragged me into an embrace that was so tight it was almost painful.
“Hey,” I whispered in his ear. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”
He eased his grip on me but still held me close.
I massaged his neck and shoulders, trying to do anything I could to bring back my Skater Boy. We sat together in silence for a long time before he finally spoke again.
“By the time I went pro, Shelly was fourteen and getting into all kinds of trouble in the neighborhood. She was already drinking, and I feared drugging too. I know I should have stayed back and helped her. I was eighteen by then, an adult. I could have done more, but I didn’t.”
His shoulders slumped.
I wanted to wipe away the guilt of his pain, but he needed to finish his story first.
“After my first big endorsement check cleared, my mother called and wanted money. I wouldn’t give her a dime and told her to never call me again. Until tonight, she never had.”
Then it hit me. He worked hard to protect others because he hadn’t been able to protect his own sister. That had been his mother on the phone. He’d been talking about killing her and his stepfather.
“So that was your mother on the phone tonight?”
He nodded.
“Why do you think she called? Now, I mean, after all this time?”
He shrugged his shoulders but I knew there was more.
“She thought I was Shelly, your sister,” I said.
“I think she’s lost it, completely gone off the deep end.”
“Why? Has Shelly lived with you in the past? Is she here in California?”
His hands shook as he took in a deep breath. “Shelly’s dead.”
“Oh my God, Rory. I’m so sorry,” I whispered in his ear and wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, tugging him into my body to shield him from the pain that was crushing him. I wanted to ask the usual question. How? When? Why? But I knew better. He would tell me in his own time and in his own way.
I slid off his lap and knelt down in front of him, taking off his shoes. “Come on,” I said, drawing back the covers. “Let’s go to bed. It’s late and I know you’re tired.” I felt like a mother tucking in her small child. In some way I was. He was my lost boy. I lifted the covers on the other side and slid in behind him, holding him gently against my chest. It felt strangely perfect.
Rory’s protective nature was born from his need to shield his sister, yet she was the one person who he hadn’t been able to save.
My heart ached for him. He wasn’t crazy jealous like I’d once thought. Well, maybe a little. But mostly, he didn’t want to lose me like he’d lost Shelly. And given my past, I could only assume how much more urgent his need to protect me was now. He didn’t want anything or anyone to hurt me. He was going to protect me no matter what the cost.
I finally understood my Skater Boy on a level I never had before.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
I didn’t have to ask what for, I knew. “You’re welcome.”
I thought his story was over and was preparing to close my eyes when the mattress dipped as he rolled over to face me. His large calloused hands caressed my face, smoothing out my hair.
“Kara called me at a competition three years ago to tell me the police had found Shelly’s body in a flea-bag motel in the Five Points area of Denver, a place known for drugs and prostitution.”
“Oh, Rory.” I covered my mouth with my hand. What the hell had happened to her?
“The original report said it was a drug overdose, but we never knew for sure if it was accidental or suicide. In my mind, I like to think of her as taking a nap, the way she did when she was little.” His shoulders shook again with quiet sobs. “I should have been there, to protect her,” he whispered through his tears. “Instead, I left her there all alone, with that monster.”
“Oh, Rory, you did what you could.” I tried to draw him in closer, but his broad shoulders made it nearly impossible.
As I lay quietly in the dark, his enormous body wrapped in my arms, my mind did the math. Three years ago was the exact time Rory went off the deep end and hit rock bottom, losing all his endorsements and falling in the national rankings. Shelly’s death had been his catalyst for destruction.
Shit. He wasn’t the bad boy everyone thought he was. He was the lost boy that society had overlooked.
An overwhelming need to shield him from all the pain he’d endured in life washed over me. No one had ever protected him. Until now. He was my Skater Boy and I would do everything in my power to make him feel safe.