-HINDLEY-
I tossed and turned all night. Going to bed with Donald Lee Westbank on my mind always meant sleep would be impossible.
Since it was obvious I’d never get any rest, I wrapped myself in a robe and walked down the hall to the living room. Dana’s condo was rather large but I tried to walk quietly. I didn’t want to wake her and make her worry anymore about me than she already had.
I searched for the remote, hoping some mindless show or movie would lull me to sleep. Clicking on the massive television, I tucked my legs underneath me and surfed the endless channels Dana subscribed to.
Then I remembered, she was addicted to those baby-daddy talk shows. The wild ones where the host would order a DNA test for a woman who was sleeping with at least three guys at the same time—two usually being cousins. Then the host would yell out the results and everyone would gasp in horror, and fighting would ensue. I laughed to myself. It was staged but who cared. That was exactly the kind of mindless television I needed tonight.
I positioned the pillows behind me and waited for the cable box to boot up, wondering if I should get some ice cream or popcorn. Before I could move, the list of recorded shows popped up on the screen and my heart stopped.
Paloma Monroe.
The show’s description revealed it was Rory’s interview and my stomach dropped. Should I watch it? Should I listen to his side of the story? My heart was already ripped to shreds. Why not totally destroy it with the truth?
I noticed two shows with Paloma’s name. One was marked part one and the other part two. He must have had a lot to say, I thought.
Assuming part one was just a retelling of his youth, I chose to start with the second show. If he was lying I’d be able to tell within a few minutes.
As I pushed play and listened to Paloma go through her recap of part one of her interview with Rory, his face flashed on the screen and my breath caught, choking me. He was dressed casually but still looked devilishly handsome like he always did. His bright blue eyes held me in a trance. Suddenly I wondered if this had been a good idea.
I noticed they were sitting outside on the porch at someone’s house, large trees dotting the landscape behind them. I couldn’t help but wonder where they were filming. And who he was with. And if he was thinking about me as much as I was thinking about him.
“Let’s go back to the night when you lost control,” Paloma said.
Rory’s bright blue eyes grew darker. “I’d love to talk about that night, Paloma, I really would, but I honestly don’t remember anything.”
“You’ve maintained that version of your story for weeks now,” she said, “never wavering from it once.”
“That’s because it’s the truth.”
I watched him intently, looking for any signs he wasn’t being honest, but sank back into the couch when I saw none.
Paloma pulled a paper up and glanced down at it before staring at Rory. “Would you be relieved to know our producers have discovered that a hotel employee did in fact drug you?”
I gasped. No way.
“I’d be surprised that someone would do that. But no, it doesn’t surprise me that it happened. It’s a scenario I’ve thought of recently in the past few days.”
“Why?”
“People who really know me, people who know my character, understand I would never intentionally act out like that toward them. And the fact that I have no memory of the outburst would definitely indicate someone gave me drugs.”
Did that mean I didn’t know him at all if I’d questioned his actions that night?
“Well, you’re exactly right,” Paloma said. “The police have confirmed through witnesses that someone did put a drug called Rohypnol in your food that evening. Are you familiar with that drug?”
“I’ve heard of it, but no, I’m not aware of what it is and what it does to people.”
“According to our medical sources, the drug would cause the exact symptoms that you experienced, including aggressive behavior, impaired judgment, reduced inhibitions, and memory loss.”
Rory nodded in understanding, as if not at all shocked.
“You don’t seem surprised by our findings.”
He leaned in. “Look, Paloma, I know myself. People who love me know me. It’s not a shock to find out that I ingested something that would make me behave in a manner that was so out of character for me. I’m devastated I hurt the woman I love. I promised her she would always be safe with me, that I’d protect her from harm, and yet I didn’t.”
My eyes stung with tears and I swallowed hard. Part of me considered turning off the television right then. I couldn’t afford another breakdown. I reached for the remote but stopped when Paloma continued.
“You sound heartbroken,” she said.
“I am. Completely.” His voice cracked and I noticed his chin quivering.
“Oh, God,” I whispered. He was totally telling the truth.
“You’re talking about Hindley Hagen, your attorney and sports agent.” It was a statement not a question.
He swallowed hard and nodded, unable to speak. He was hurting just as much as I was, maybe even more if that were possible.
“Are you still in love with her?” Paloma asked.
My heart stopped and I held my breath, anxiously awaiting his answer.
He never hesitated. “Of course I love her.” He smiled, his expression changing into what looked like true joy. “I’ll always love Hindley Hagen.”
Oh, God. He’d said he loved me, said my name out loud. His declaration on national television may be my undoing.
“What about Hindley?” Paloma asked. “Does she feel the same way?”
“I hope so.”
“You haven’t talked to her though, since your outburst in Miami?”
“No.” He turned and glanced into the monitor, and there he was. Staring right at me. My lost boy. My love. I ached for him in that moment, ached for both of us. “But I have faith.”
“So what gives you hope?” she asked. “What makes you think she’ll forgive you?”
“I won’t give up on us.”
I bit my lip, not sure if I wanted him to or not. He sounded so sure of himself, sure of my forgiveness. And wasn’t that my Skater Boy.
“That’s pretty confident thinking, isn’t it?” Paloma asked.
“Actually it’s a song, by Jason Mraz. I Won’t Give Up on Us. I sing it every day, over and over, trying to psyche myself up.”
“You have to admit that might sound completely insane to some people.”
He shrugged and laughed. “Have you ever seen me skate? To be an extreme sport athlete, you have to be insane.”
Paloma joined in his laughter.
Rory smiled, his shoulders easing down as he visibly relaxed.
I grabbed the remote and paused the show, staring at his image for a good minute. I hadn’t realized until that moment how much I’d missed him, and how much my soul ached at the thought of never being with him again.
But, he’d slept with Geneva, I reminded myself.
Paloma said he was drugged.
Did that matter? Was that enough of an excuse to forgive him? I had no idea at this point and suddenly I was too tired to care.
I tugged at the pillow behind me and placed it under my head as I stretched out on the sofa. My eyes fluttered closed, and Rory’s beautiful face floated through my mind. There was a lot I wasn’t sure of but one thing was clear after watching him on TV. I still loved him. I just wasn’t sure I could forgive him.