twenty-three

The next few days, I tried to act like everything was the same. But it wasn’t.

Mace didn’t give me those glaring looks anymore. She pretty much pretended I wasn’t there at all. But she looked at Trip a lot. He sure seemed happy to have her there. And I hadn’t gotten a KOB since the night at Trip’s house.

I found myself walking with Billy after English and watching them walk ahead.

“So, Trip and Mace have known each other since they were little?” I tried to sound casual.

“Yeah, their moms were in the same sorority in college, and they’re neighbors now.” He laughed. “Man, she has the most awesome house. It looks like a fort and it has this secret bomb shelter in it. Like this cool cave. We all used to play there when we were kids. Trust me, if there’s ever an earthquake, go there.”

My chest was starting to hurt.

“Hey, are you coming to the last big soccer game on Saturday? Trip’s family is doing a tailgate.”

I thought quickly. “Um, I wish I could, but I… oh, I have the Stargazers and—we have this big meeting.”

“Big meeting with the three of you?”

I glared at him.

“Okay—just kidding. But you should come. Bring the science girls when you’re done figuring out how to rule the universe.”

“Okay,” I said. “Thanks, I’ll try.”

But I knew I wouldn’t.

I called Haven and Allie right after school and invited them over for the morning of the soccer game and tailgate to make sure I was busy that day. “To plan our conquest of the stars!” I shouted, acting all enthusiastic. But truth is I wasn’t up for conquering anything, except this terrible feeling in my heart.

Haven and Allie both seemed so excited that it just really made me wish I’d done it sooner.

Saturday morning, DiDi was up bright and early, making Mama’s Special-Occasion Fancy Tea Sandwiches. I thought it was kind of much for just having friends over, but I didn’t say a word. It had been pretty quiet between me and DiDi since the fight over Mace’s hair. I never brought it up again and neither did she. I guess we don’t have a lot of experience fighting, so we don’t have a lot of experience making up, either.

When the doorbell buzzed, I let Allie and Haven in. They kind of paused and that made me think they were probably used to being in houses like Trip’s or Mace’s. Not old one-bedroom apartments with DiDi’s sheets and blankets still folded on the side of the pull-out sofa bed. I ran over and quickly picked them up and folded the sofa bed back into place. Then for the first time, I thought about how DiDi let me have the one bedroom.

“Hey, come on in.”

Allie and Haven walked in carrying several notebooks and two huge tote bags filled with what looked like craft-making supplies.

“Um, this is my sister, DiDi. DiDi, this is Allie and that’s Haven.”

“Hi, girls. Nice to meet you. We are going to have so much fun today!”

I looked back and forth between DiDi in the kitchen and the girls standing in the living room. “Uh, D, what do you mean we? Did you want to help us with Stargazers?”

DiDi stopped cutting the crusts off sandwiches and looked up. “Didn’t you ask the girls to come with us to the tailgate? With, you know, Trip and Mace and their families? Mace mentioned it yesterday when we were talking—”

“You talked to Mace?” I said. “When? Why? How?”

DiDi raised an eyebrow. “Now who’s Getting Grammatical? Calm down, honey, she just calls me sometimes for girl talk. I know you two had a rough start, but you should give her a chance. She’s a regular human girl just like you. C’mon, we’ll all go and it’ll be fun.” DiDi smiled at Allie and Haven, who still looked puzzled.

“I thought we were having a Stargazers meeting, but…” Allie glanced over at the big basket that DiDi was preparing and then looked at Haven.

Haven hesitated. “It’s just that we don’t—we don’t really hang out with those guys—”

“Oh pooh!” said DiDi. “You’ll be hanging with us—we’ll take care of you, won’t we, Double G?”

“NO!” The sound of my voice surprised even me. “And I’m NOT Grammatical!” Allie and Haven were staring. “This meeting is really important—I want to plan a trip to the observatory here, because I’ve never seen the one that this town has and—”

“Double G, calm down. What are you going on about? What do you think I’ve been doing? I made a whole mess of fancy tea sandwiches, and all I have to do is take a quick shower and I’ll be all set to head to the game. I thought you’d want to go. And it looks like these girls do.”

The girls looked interested, but you could tell they were concerned about my feelings.

“It could be fun,” Allie said. “But…” She glanced at Haven.

“But we don’t have to—if Leia doesn’t want to…” Haven said.

“Listen, Double G, why don’t you girls talk your science stuff while I shower up? My sweet tea needs a little more time to chill anyway.”

“What’s Double G?” asked Allie.

“Fine. I don’t care. You decide.” I threw myself on the sofa.

“Great!” DiDi popped into the bathroom and then stuck her head out. “Does anyone have to, you know, go before I shower? Sorry, girls, but this is a one-stop pit stop—if you know what I mean.”

I squirmed. I was pretty sure that Allie and Haven each had private baths they didn’t have to share with anyone. Not to mention separate guest quarters for any guests lucky enough to have to pee at their house.

“Last chance!” DiDi winked and then clicked the door shut.

We heard the shower start.

“What’s Double G?” Allie asked again.

Haven put a hand on my arm. “Did you and Trip break up?”

“Is he going out with Mace now?” Allie said.

I pulled away. Then regretted it. “No. We’re just friends and Mace is just a friend. I mean, they’ve known each other since they were little and… and…”

Haven reached out and patted my arm. And I started to think that even if she didn’t know how I felt, maybe she really wanted to.

“Do you—do you still want to make some plans for Stargazers while we’re waiting for DiDi?” she said.

I nodded. I didn’t know what else to do. I tried my best to sound involved in everything the girls were saying, but truth is I didn’t hear a word. Which was just as well, because after a few minutes, Allie and Haven gave up and started talking about other things.

“Will your mom bring back goodies from the conference?” Allie asked.

“Yes!” said Haven. “I’ll bring you a goody bag. Do you want a goody bag, too, Leia?”

I came out of my fog. “Goody who?”

“Goody bag. My mom is at this huge conference, looking at all the new colors coming out next year. You know, for the city store? She’s always bringing back loads of awesome new stuff. But some of it’s gross, too—Al, do you remember when she brought all that purple-y lipstick home last year? Ew!” She and Allie screamed.

“Lipstick,” I said.

“It totally made you look like you’d been eating dirt, Leia. It was the worst.”

Allie sighed. “I hope this year is more a sparkly pink year.”

“Yeah, or I don’t mind purple—just more for nail polish than lips.”

I looked at the two of them, happy and chatting away.

I pictured DiDi happily listening to Mace talk on the phone all night.

Then I took a breath.

“Does your mom—would your mom know if a company decided to bring back an old lipstick?”

Allie made a face. “Old?”

“Like colors they don’t make anymore.”

Haven shrugged. “I’ll ask. I remember this one time there was a color that they brought back for, like, an anniversary or something. There were signs all over the place.”

Allie looked at me. “Is there a lipstick you can’t live without, Leia? You don’t seem like the makeup-y type.”

“No… I just had this idea.…” I glanced at the bathroom door and lowered my voice. “For a special birthday gift for DiDi… a surprise.”

The girls looked excited.

“Tell us!” Haven whispered. “Let us help!”

“Really?” I said.

“Yes! What can we do?” Allie was jumping up and down.

I guessed this was what it was like to have girlfriends. So I put away my agenda for the Stargazers. The girls and I huddled together on our old sofa, and I told them about Mama and Cherries in the Snow.

You know, it’s funny how you never really know how special any occasion is going to be till you’re in the middle of it. Like, in all honesty, I had really only invited Haven and Allie over so I’d have an excuse not to go to that stupid tailgate with Trip and his future rock star girlfriend, Mace. And here, for the first time ever, I was talking to someone other than DiDi about Mama’s lipstick.

And for the first time, I started thinking that maybe—just maybe—impossible wishes really did sometimes become… possible.

If you ask me, that’s pretty special.

Special-Occasion Fancy Tea Sandwiches

I say no occasion is special until you personally put a little effort into it.

Now, my mama was a real Southern Lady and knew how to do a nice afternoon tea.

First of all, make sure you use only thinly sliced white bread with the crusts cut off. (I save the crusts in a plastic bag in the freezer for stuffing.) The recipes here are enough for two people to have two pieces of each sandwich. Double as necessary.

Cucumber Sandwiches

• Mayonnaise

• Cucumbers, thinly sliced

• Salt and pepper

• Parsley, chopped fine

Spread each slice of your sandwich bread with the thinnest bit of mayonnaise you can spread. Pile 8 to 10 slices of cucumber on one side. Salt and pepper. Top with the other slice of bread. Trim off any cucumber sticking out over the edges. Then cut the sandwich into 4 triangles. Spread very thin mayo on one edge of each of the triangles and then dip that into your chopped parsley. Arrange on a plate, standing up like little sails with the parsley side showing.

Pepper Jelly Triple-Decker Surprise Sandwiches

• Pepper jelly

• Cream cheese

Spread pepper jelly on one slice of bread and cream cheese on the other. You know what to do—put them together. Now spread cream cheese on the top of that sandwich. Take another slice of bread and spread pepper jelly on that and put it on top. You should now have a triple-decker sandwich with pretty stripes. These get sliced into 4 long fingers.

Pimento Cheese and Tomato Sandwiches

• Pimento cheese (I know I put my pimento cheese recipe in here somewhere. Just look it up because I am not writing it down again.)

• Cherry tomatoes

This is a real pretty open-face sandwich. Spread your pimento cheese on a slice of bread all the way to the edges. Cut the bread into quarters. Slice 2 cherry tomatoes in half. Top each bread quarter with a tomato half, cut side up.

If you have a wait before you start eating, cover the sandwiches with a wet paper towel that you’ve wrung out till it’s just damp. I like to arrange them all nice and fancy on my pressed-glass plate that I got from my mama. Then I call a girlfriend over for a chat and some sweet tea. What occasion could be more special than that?

Serves 2.