fifty-three
Friday, I took the bus back to Mace’s house after school and went straight to the room where I was staying. It never occurred to me that Mace might be doing anything other than her zillion after-school activities as president of the Whatever-Whatever Club and then homework in her room, too. But it was Friday, and after days of being stuck in that guest room, I wanted to get out of there. Maybe walk around. I wondered if it would be weird to ask Mace to join me. We weren’t friends, exactly, but we were… something.
I tiptoed down the hall and listened hard. The house was quiet. Usually Mace left me alone till dinnertime and then brought food to my room. I wondered what she did the rest of the time. I hadn’t really even seen the rest of the house.
I went down a quiet hall and turned a corner into the biggest whitest kitchen I’d ever seen. Mrs. Tanglewood was sitting all by herself at this gigantic table, just staring out the window. I made a quick move to back out, but the floor creaked. Dang. I guess there are creaky floors no matter where you go. When she saw me, she looked about as relaxed and comfortable as I felt.
“Oh… Leia,” she said. “Won’t you—did you want to come in?”
Now I began to back out for real. “No, that’s okay. I didn’t want to interrupt.… I was just wondering where Mace was.”
“You don’t know?”
Know what?
I could only shake my head.
Mrs. Tanglewood got up and walked to the refrigerator. It had this big sliding glass door in front, so you could see everything inside. There were rows and rows of all-natural juices and bottled fizzy water and bowls filled with shiny apples and lemons and such. All standing there, perfectly lined up like soldiers. But then I noticed that if you looked really close, you could see in the back that it was kind of a mess. Tumbles of half loaves of bread and leftovers and stuff wrapped up in bumpy tinfoil.
“She’s with your sister, DiDi. As she has been every afternoon this week.”
“With D—” My voice came out a squeak. “With DiDi? Why? Doing what?”
“Why should I be informed? She and Mr. Tanglewood seem to have decided that they know better than I do about everything. Who am I?” Mrs. Tanglewood studied the glass front of the fridge. It looked perfect to me, but she grabbed a paper towel and gave it a wipe. “Why should I know anything? Where she runs away to… who she’s with… why you’re h—”
Mrs. Tanglewood turned her back to me and rubbed at that glass like it was a genie’s bottle and she didn’t know what to wish for. I knew what I’d wish. I’d want to know what was going on. What was Mace doing with DiDi? Probably talking about me. I’d thought somehow that Mace was on my side now. But she had always preferred DiDi. And here I was, finding out they had spent every afternoon for the last week together.
“I—I’m sorry,” I said. “Do you want me to—Can I help you in here?”
Mrs. Tanglewood didn’t turn around. “Oh, no thank you.” She opened the fridge door and began to fiddle with the row of juices. Nudging them ever so slightly, till they completely hid the mess in the back. “I don’t know why I bother. I might as well just give up. If it wants to be a mess, let it be a mess.” She gave this sad little hiccup of a laugh and closed the door.
I looked at the glass door. It was like being in the fanciest grocery store ever. “Well, it—it looks perfect to me.”
Mrs. Tanglewood sighed. She tilted her head to the side and then picked up the paper towel again and gave the fridge one last swipe. “It does, doesn’t it?”
When Mace peeked in later, I was sitting at the little desk in the guest room, doing homework.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” I answered, not looking up.
“Okay, so my mom said you found out how I’d been helping DiDi.”
I don’t know why I was surprised. One thing Mace has always been is direct. So now I was, too.
“Why? What are you doing? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Mace came in and closed the door. She went over to the bed to sit down and paused before she began to talk again. “I don’t know.… You’ve been really upset. DiDi has been really upset. Neither of you will tell me what happened, but it doesn’t even matter. DiDi—DiDi is my friend and you… Well, anyway, she’s had all these big plans and she needed help. Actually, Haven, Allie, Billy and Trip, and Mr. McGuire have been helping, too. I’m sorry, I—I asked them not to tell you yet.…”
Now I was completely confused. What big plans? What did they all have to do with anything?
Mace looked at me. “The Founder’s Day Gala. Tomorrow. DiDi has been planning the menu since, like, the beginning of the year. She has all these great ideas. She just—well, she gets nervous about—about trying new things.… She’s been there for me so much—I just wanted to do the same for her.”
The Gala.
We’d said it was going to be our own personal birthday party. I’d promised DiDi I would help her. We even shook on it. But I never did.
“What have you been… how are you helping?”
“We’ve just been helping her with shopping and organizing and taste-testing and everything.…”
“But—your mom—”
Mace began to study her hands. “I tried to explain, but—my dad says she just needs time.” She shook her head and then looked up. “You should come. I know she wants you to.” Mace reached into her pocket and pulled out a KOB. “Here.”
I took it and saw DiDi’s strong clear writing on the outside. Leia.
I barely noticed Mace leaving as I slowly unfolded it.
Leia,
I miss you more than I can say and I love you even more than that. I know you need your time and I know that this has been so hard for you, but I want to see you and I can’t help that. You are the love of my life and the treasure of my heart and I am so proud of who you are and everything about you and I wish I’d told you this every day since the beginning of time. Will you please come to the Gala tomorrow? I’ll be there early setting up and I’ll be waiting for you.
I love you more than the world.
DiDi
The words became a blur behind my tears. I’d never had a birthday in my life that didn’t have me and DiDi in the kitchen together, making Twinkie Pie. In that second, I was feeling so many things. Confusion. Sadness. Longing. But mostly. Mostly. I missed DiDi. More than I could say. And I knew one thing at that moment. That if I belonged anywhere, it was at that Gala by her side.