There wasn’t much awkwardness the next morning. When the alarm went off, Danielle got out of bed and went into the bathroom. Ten minutes later, she came out with a towel wrapped around her body and another around her head. She dressed in front of me. She had a beautiful body. I knew I’d never see it again. ‘Do you want to take a shower?’ she asked.
‘No, it’s okay. I’d better go home and get a change of clothes.’
She went into the kitchen while I got out of bed and dressed. She came back with two cups of espresso. We sat on her bed and sipped it. ‘I enjoyed last night,’ she said.
‘So did I.’
‘But you are still in love with your wife.’
‘Yes.’
‘You will be with her again soon.’
‘You think so?’
‘She’s the one for you.’
‘I wish she knew that.’
‘She does. A woman always knows.’ She smiled. ‘ “When I make a woman cum, I feel it as much as she does.” ’
‘You noticed that, did you?’ She nodded. ‘I hope you meet the one for you soon.’
We hugged and I went home. I was thinking that the one night stand had ended as painlessly as these things ever did. But that night, I couldn’t sleep. There’s a line in an Avril Lavigne song where she shouts, ‘What the hell were you thinking?’ I had that line going round my head. What the hell were you thinking – having sex with Danielle? She’s supposed to be your friend. She’s here alone in a foreign country. You should be helping her, not fucking her. Is this how you treat your friends – you use them to get back at your wife? And on the subject of your wife, what the hell were you thinking, encouraging her to have sex with someone else? What did you think was going to happen? You thought she’d have sex with another man and then everything would be exactly the same. You’d just have something hot to talk about in bed. But this is reality. These are real people with real emotions. You encouraged her to go after the hottest guy in her office. You let them try out their relationship in your bed. Then, as time went on, you knew she was starting to have feelings for him. It’s not like she didn’t give you fair warning. But you were so convinced she was in love with you that you didn’t do anything. She was falling for the man who was giving her great sex. Why the hell would she come back? What’s so great about you? And now here you are, alone in the house.
And that’s another thing, what are you going to do about the house? Are you going to buy Tina out? On a teacher’s salary? You really think that’s going to happen? You’ll have to sell the house and move into a tiny bachelor apartment. And we all know what happens to men who live on their own. Dinner will be a ready meal washed down with a bottle of cheap whiskey. You’ll crawl into bed at two in the morning after seven hours of mindless channel surfing. The den will be a mess of dirty plates, empty cans and old pizza boxes. You won’t leave the house at all during the weekend. You won’t wash or shave or change your clothes. The neighborhood kids will start talking about the weird guy who lives by himself. They’ll stand outside your door shouting names at you until you chase them down the street in your vest.
And then, one day, you’ll open your mail box. For once, there will be a letter that isn’t an advertisement. It’ll be an invitation to Steve and Tina’s wedding. So you’ll drag your crumpled old suit out of the wardrobe. And you’ll go along. You’ll stand there and smile. Tina will come down the aisle. She’ll be more beautiful than ever. Steve’s going to be next to her, looking like something out of a menswear catalog. She’s going to take a quick look at you and think, ‘I dodged a bullet there.’ She’ll be lost forever. You might see her driving by one day with her husband beside her and their adorable children in the back. And all this just because you thought it would be a turn-on to watch her with another man. What the hell were you thinking?
Eventually, I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew, my alarm was going off. I got out of bed with a new resolve. I was not going to let myself go. So I made myself a proper breakfast. I washed the dishes. I showered and shaved. I went to work.
I decided to get into better shape. Tina wasn’t the most health-conscious person in the world. She put in her time at the gym, but she also liked sitting down with a twelve-inch pizza. And she usually just rolled her eyes if I suggested she might like a salad with it.
On my way back from work, I went to the store and filled my trolley at the fruit and vegetable aisle. I bought brown rice, beans, bananas, kiwi fruit. There were a lot of things I hadn’t eaten for years because Tina didn’t like them.
As I was leaving the store, I saw Tina’s gym on the other side of the road. On a whim, I went in. ‘I’d like to join the gym, please,’ I said to the receptionist.
‘No problem,’ she said. ‘Could I have your name, please?’
‘Robert Matthews.’
She typed something into her computer and frowned. ‘Robert Patrick Matthews?’
‘That’s me.’
‘You’re already a member, sir.’
‘Are you sure?’
She turned her computer screen around to show me my name and address. ‘You’ve been a member for the last three years.’
‘But I haven’t paid anything.’
‘Our records show you’ve been paying every month. The price was reduced because you have joint membership with your wife.’
I had no memory of joining the gym at the same time Tina joined, but I nodded. ‘Oh yes. I remember.’
I started going four times a week. I lifted weights. Gradually, my arms became thicker. My legs became more defined. Shoulder and chest muscles started to emerge. At the end of every workout, I spent half an hour on the stationary bike or the cross trainer. I also did some crunches on the Swiss ball. If I tensed my stomach muscles and breathed in, I could almost see the beginnings of a six pack. I never saw Tina at the gym.
I was feeling better about myself, but the house was still too quiet. I wanted to be welcomed home in the evening. I couldn’t imagine living with any person except Tina. But, I reflected, my companion didn’t have to be a person. On Saturday afternoon, I drove over to the animal shelter.
I’ve often heard it said that you don’t choose a dog; he chooses you. As I approached the row of enclosures, a large, shaggy black mongrel stood up. He cocked his head in my direction and wagged his tail. Our eyes met. It was love at first sight. His name was Boris. The volunteer who was showing me round said I could change his name if I wanted to. But as I looked at him, I knew he could never be anything except Boris. He was a cross between a Labrador, a sheepdog and a few other breeds. He sat happily in the passenger seat of the car. When we got home, he walked through the house, sniffing everything carefully. Seemingly content with his new surroundings, he jumped onto the couch in the den and went to sleep.
Boris made a big difference to my life. For one thing, he helped me in my project to get into shape. I no longer spent lunch time in the teachers’ lounge, drinking coffee and eating cookies. Instead, I jumped into the car and drove home to take Boris for a run in the park. When I got home in the evening, he jumped up and down like he hadn’t seen me in a year. Tina had always seemed pleased to see me when I came home, but she’d restricted herself to, ‘Hey, babe.’ She’d never jumped up and licked my face. Instead of having Tina’s legs across my knees while I was watching TV, I now had a large dog.
At first, I made a rule that the bedroom was the one part of the house where he wasn’t allowed. He soon showed me what he thought of that rule. When I was going upstairs to bed, he ran past me and put his head up against the bedroom door. I couldn’t open the door without letting him in. He bounded into the bedroom and curled up on the bed. He didn’t smell as nice as Tina. But the bed was a lot warmer with him lying beside me. He was also a good guard dog: he barked furiously whenever anyone came near the house. No one was going to break in while he was around.
One Sunday evening, I heard the gate open. Someone was coming up the drive. Boris didn’t bark. His tail started wagging and he ran around in an excited little circle. I wasn’t expecting anyone. I opened the door.
Tina was standing outside. ‘Can I come in?’ she said.