Jefferson Starship
Paul was in the process of putting the “new” band together. John Barbata, a drummer for The Turtles, replaced Joey Covington, and we had Pete Sears on keyboards, David Freiberg on bass, Grace on Blue Nun wine, Paul on twelve-string guitar, the occasional hot licks violin from Papa John Creach, and Marty Balin came back into the fold, crooning. Marty was in top romantic form right then, and produced several hits (“Miracles,” “Caroline,” and “With Your Love” among them), putting us back into No. 1 position on the charts.
On that first Jefferson Starship tour, a positive turn of events happened that would affect my life forever. Coming back to the hotel after one of our concerts, an incredibly beautiful dark-haired woman asked if she could chat with Paul and me for a while. She came up to our room to hang out, stayed for about a half hour, and then decided to leave. I knew the rest of the crew and the band would be milling around in the hall and I peeked out the door, waiting to see who'd be cool enough to entice this gorgeous woman into his room. As she walked down the length of the hallway we all occupied, the clever remarks and invitations came flying at her from all directions, but it wasn't until the end of the rock-and-roll gauntlet that she stopped and turned into somebody's room. A man whom I'd never seen before, Skip Johnson, our new lighting director, apparently had said just the right phrase or made the winning move that drew the woman into his one-man party.
When we all converged the next morning for the ride to the airport, I made sure to see what this hustle master looked like up close. It was easy to figure out what it was about him that won him the previous evening's prize over all the other drooling competitors. Skip stood six feet tall with long black hair and green eyes surrounded by thick black eyelashes. Add to that his laid-back, cocky attitude, and I felt like I was once again at a Judy Levitas pool party, having my heartstrings tugged by Alan McKenna. Skip was twenty-two; I was thirty-four. Another good-looking dark Irish Catholic boy had overwhelmed me with nonchalance and young man enthusiasm.
The next day in Phoenix, Arizona, the entire group, including the crew, took over the hotel's outdoor area, filling most of the tables with loud rock banter and lousy margaritas. Everyone except Paul, that is, who'd flown to L.A. on our day off to talk to the RCA suits. Some of the guys were sitting down by the diving board, discussing the best way to make moves on several ladies seated across from us at the pool's other side, when suddenly Skip stood up, waved, and shouted, “Girls—could you come over here, please? You wanna fuck?”
The other hotel guests were shocked, we were cracking up, but damned if those girls didn't smile, get up, and come over to sit with this cute goofball with the foul mouth.
I decided to join them.
Later in the afternoon, Craig Chaquico, our new lead guitar player, and I had several interviews to do, so Skip offered to drive us around the city to the various radio stations. By the time the three of us got back to the hotel, I was determined to spend the night with this young man, who was friendly but seriously unimpressed with my fame. He'd worked for The Who and a lot of other top groups, so this Starship job was just one more entry on his rock-and-roll resumé. He was so unimpressed, in fact, that he actually said to me once for no particular reason, “You're too old, too fat, and too drunk. But I love you.” The best backhanded remark I'd ever heard.
Okay, so now what? I was living with Paul, I had a beautiful daughter, and the band was pulling in the crowds again. But I was lost in romance land with this bright troublemaker who had no ties, no restrictions, and no regrets. Speaking of regrets, there's an old maxim that says, “It's not what you did that you regret, it's what you didn't do.” So go for it.
I did. As everybody watched the seduction escalate, it became clear that the Grace/Paul duo was in for some trouble. And since Paul thought Skip was gay, it was easy for me to hang out with Skip pretty much whenever I wanted to, without creating concern. Why did Paul think Skip was gay? Probably because of the short red dress Skip wore to his own twenty-third birthday party in a sedate hotel bar on April 28, 1975. With the dress (borrowed from Yours Truly) he'd decided to wear sweat socks, high-tops, his mustache, and his hairy legs.
Knowing how much midwesterners love the big-city drag queen look, we all took advantage of their hospitality and celebrated as if there were nothing unusual about a member of our entourage sporting West Hollywood chic. Paul didn't think any heterosexual man would do that. But my father used to do it once a year, when the San Francisco bankers had a men-only party. Everybody not only dressed like women, they actually rehearsed for the shindig and put on an entire musical, each showing up in his own version of a RuPaul chorus girl. So much for gay-only cross-dressing, but the humor was lost on Paul. As it probably was on most of the local crowd at the bar that night.
At the time, rock and roll was predominately a world of heterosexual male musicians. The loose morality of the times made experimentation an option, but gender differences were generally not the favorite topic of conversation or behavior. With one exception on my part. My friend Sally and I were goofing around getting loaded one night when Paul was out of the house. After we'd played some David Bowie records, we began talking about David's bisexuality and how cool it would be to go to a party and have one hundred percent of the room at your disposal. We decided to give it a go in the spirit of widening our possibilities. If it worked, that would be cool. If not, no harm done. We drank a little more champagne, we kissed a little, we touched each other's breasts, and then we burst out laughing.
“Let's get serious,” we said, trying to keep in mind how expanded our dating world would be if this worked out. But in five minutes, we were laughing again. We finally gave it up as a lost cause and resigned ourselves to forty or fifty percent of the room. I never tried it again, figuring that Sally was cool, bright, and beautiful, and there was nothing wrong with her that I could determine, so if I couldn't get it on with her, I couldn't get it on with anyone. At least not a woman.
The truth is that I'm just not into vaginas. Because they're pretty much a mucous membrane, gushy and hot, and they can develop an awful lot of strange bacteria, my idea of hell is putting my face in somebody's pussy. If it's nice and clean, of course that's better, but I'm still not into it. That's not to say that I'm judgmental about lesbianism or that I think pussies are bad. I just happen to love the way men are built, that you can see when they're aroused and that everything is on the outside. With women, it's all inside and men have to figure out whether we're pretending to be aroused or not. We have to let them know what we want or just enjoy whatever's going on.
So much for Grace's lesbian possibilities. Skip was a far more realistic fantasy for me and a lot more dangerous. After the tour was over, and we settled back into San Francisco, Paul hired a publicist for Starship named Cynthia Bowman. Every man has his own distinctive expression of pleasure when he sees a woman who appeals to him, and I remember the look on Paul's face when he met Cynthia. I figured it wouldn't take long for the tall blonde ex-model to engender more than silly facial expressions—at least, that's how I rationalized my own faithless behavior with Skip. But Paul is a guy who can take his time; it wasn't until about five years later that Cynthia gave birth to China's little half brother, Alexander. That made two children out of wedlock for Paul (that he knows of)—one by Cynthia, one by me.
I'm still friends with Cynthia to this day, and we engage in some of our best sarcasm tournaments with Paul and the kids on Thanksgiving or Christmas. I also call Sally Mann in Texas and hang out with Darlene Ermacoff in Malibu. One of the strongest bonds you can have with a person is love of the same man. Jealousy is useless. The attraction both of you have for the same individual means you have a strong interest in common, so why not create a friendship instead of sucking on old resentments?