There would be no sleep tonight. Leesa Patterson, my youngest and only girl walked towards the porch holding what appeared to be a blanket. As her mother, I should have been happy to see her, especially since four months had passed since I saw her last. Oh, she called. She called when she needed me to wire money. Then, she’d forget about me.
Funny, that’s how she was conceived. One night, I forgot how much I despised Ralph and I guess he remembered I was his wife. Nine months later, with two sons in high school, Leesa made her entrance. She’d always been good at surprises. Like showing up out of the blue.
“Hey Mama.” Leesa looked behind her. “Kisha, say hello to Grandma.”
I watched as a small hand snaked around Leesa’s bare leg and then a head appeared. The large eyes looked up at me.
My little Kisha. I still felt she was a little small for a four year old. “Hey precious, come to Grandma.”
Shyly stepping from behind her mother, Kisha smiled and then reached her arms up. I pulled her up into my arms and squeezed. Lord, how I missed this grandchild.
My oldest boy made sure his twin boys spent time with me. Both of those monsters made me lose my senses sometime, but I hated the quiet house even more after they left.
I stared at Leesa, who seem to be looking everywhere, but at my face. Something wrestled in the pit of my stomach. My poor stomach had experienced a lot in one day. I couldn’t remember what I ate, which probably wasn’t good for my blood sugar. Earlier the levels were normal. I did remember to do that much for myself. Got to take care of this body of mine. I’ve already failed it thus far.
Amos cleared his throat behind me. I whirled around embarrassed; I’d almost forgotten him. “Amos, you remember my daughter Leesa?” How could he? She doesn’t come around that much.
“I do remember her. Nice to see you again.” Amos stood and held out his hand.
Leesa cringed. Something in her arms squirmed. A little arm popped out of the blue blanket, and my heart skipped a beat.
“Leesa, who’s this?”
My daughter turned her body to the side to show me an adorable little face. “Mama, this is Tyric.”
“My baby brother,” Kisha yelled.
All kinds of questions ran through my head. I know it had been sometime since I’d seen Leesa, but when was she pregnant with that baby? Why didn’t she tell me? Who was the father?
Amos made a choking sound.
I wanted to choke my child. Instead of peppering her with questions, I turned around. “Amos, I guess this is goodnight. Thanks for talking with me.”
He tipped his hat before placing it on his head. “My pleasure. Goodnight, ladies.” I watched him walk away, wishing I could follow him home.
“Grandma, you have a dog now?” My precious granddaughter had discovered Porgy or rather vice versa. The dog wagged his tail and seemed delighted by all the attention he was receiving.
“Looks like it, sweetie pie. Let’s go inside.” I grabbed the little one by the hand and marched back towards the kitchen, making sure she washed her hands at the sink. Kisha, then made herself at home at the kitchen table, while I opened and closed cabinets. Finding plates, I put them on the table, ignoring my daughter until I could figure out what to say. Eating always helped. Or not.
My beautiful grandbaby, the one I knew about, gave me a crumb-covered smile as she gobbled the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I had made in apprehensive silence. I smiled back, feeling tension slightly release from my shoulders.
Then I focused on Leesa. I tried not to frown, but the spot between my eyebrows clinched up.
Leesa had the nerve to get pregnant with Kisha her senior year in high school. As much as this child struggled, why would she bring another child in this world? She just turned twenty-one a few months back and as hard as I tried to get her back in school, it was a closed subject.
I nodded my head towards Tyric. “I’m waiting for the explanation for this one.”
“Mama…”
“A few weeks ago when you called crying about not being able to pay the rent, you couldn’t have mentioned there was going to be a new mouth to feed. Even more so, why didn’t you tell me before now? I’m your mother. I was there with you for the first one.”
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure.”
“Chile, it wasn’t like you hadn’t been through this before.” I looked over at Kisha, who sat next to me, now munching on a cookie. Her eyes traveled back and forth between me and her mother.
Leesa huffed, “Mama, we are just here for a few days. If you don’t want us, I can leave right now.”
There she goes twisting things around. That’s not what I wanted. For your grown child to show up out of the blue and with an extra child, it didn’t seem too much to have some questions answered.
“Don’t be going all drama queen on me, Leesa Patterson. I asked you a question. And you know this house is always open to you.”
The last time I saw Leesa it was just before Easter. Her weight went up and down like mine. Always wearing big shirts and baggy jeans, it would’ve never occurred to me to think she was pregnant. Fooled again. Four years ago, if it wasn’t for the child complaining about stomach pain, I still wouldn’t have imagined she’d been carrying Kisha all that time.
Somewhere along the way, my two sons must have worn me down. I missed the boat when Leesa came into this world. I was thirty-eight years old and I had the audacity to have a child fifteen years after the last one. By then, my students had grown more and more difficult each year. I was so tired, I couldn’t wait until the day I would see retirement.
A wail started up from the little body in Leesa’s arms. She tried to move him around in her arms and rock him, but with eyes tightly shut, mouth wide open, he wailed louder.
Porgy who had been sitting in the corner, ran under the table, and wrapped his self around my foot. Kisha reached her little arms around my waist, well at least as far as her arms could go. “Make him stop, Grandma.”
“Let me hold him.”
“Mama, I can handle this.”
“I didn’t say you couldn’t. You look like you could use a break.”
Without much coddling, Leesa held the hollering baby away from her as though he offended her and passed him to me. I cradled the baby in my arms, surprised by his small body.
A lullaby sprang forth from my lips. One I hadn’t thought about in years. He was definitely a small little fellow, I estimated he couldn’t be more than two months old. As I hummed, sang and hummed again, Tyric’s beautiful brown eyes looked up at me in wonderment. He’d forgotten all about whatever ailed him.
Leesa looked under the table and frowned. “Mama, isn’t that Mary’s dog?”
“Oh no. I need to tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
I shifted Tyric in my arms. “I found Mary.” I checked Kisha. She seemed to be feeding Porgy something under the table. Cookies. That figured. I continued, “Someone k-i-l-l-e-d her.” I didn’t want to give my grandchild nightmares. I would have enough for both of us.
“What? No!”
“If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I guess I would be saying the same thing.”
Leesa wilted in the seat like she did as a teenager. “This is all too much. I’m so tired of everything.”
“Tired of everything?” I stared at my youngest child. What else had my baby girl gotten into now?
Leesa keeps her eyes on the kitchen table. She quietly answers, “Just tired, that’s all.”
Something was wrong, but I didn’t need to know tonight. At least she came home, whatever the trouble this time. She was safe with me. “Do you want something to eat?”
“I’m fine, Mama.” Leesa stood. “Is my room still the same?”
“Nothing has changed.”
“I think I need to lie down for awhile.”
It was barely eight o’ clock. She needed to lie down. Let’s see I’m about to turn sixty and she was only twenty-one. Why is she so tired? And where was she going, leaving me with these children?
I had two mysteries, one started with death, the other with life.
We were going to get some answers.