Shock reverberated through me. ‘Have you known all along?’
‘Not when we spoke yesterday, no.’ There was an air of suppressed anger about Jake, as if he was annoyed at being caught out. ‘I was here in my car, around midnight, when she came back. I’d been driving around, looking for her, again.’ He paused. ‘She wouldn’t say where she’d been and we argued.’
‘I don’t understand.’ I smoothed my damp hair back. ‘Why didn’t you tell me this before? You knew how worried I was.’
A nerve twitched in his jaw. ‘Look, Ella, she didn’t want you to know,’ he said. ‘And I thought you were leaving today, so it didn’t matter.’
‘Of course it matters.’ My chest felt tight, as if someone was squeezing it. After the stress of the last couple of days, I wanted an explanation. ‘You couldn’t get her to stay here for one more day?’
‘I tried, but she wouldn’t listen.’ His fingers tapped the steering wheel. ‘I had to promise her I wouldn’t tell you she was here.’ It struck me that she couldn’t have told him who I really was, or he’d have mentioned it. ‘The truth is, Ella, she was relieved to hear you were going.’ His mouth twisted in what might have been an apology. ‘She wanted to run off again, but I persuaded her to come to the farmhouse with me instead, so we could talk.’
‘Farmhouse?’
‘An old place I own that belonged to my grandfather. It’s a bit run-down, but we stayed there before we got married. When we were happy.’ He pushed his hair back off his forehead.
‘So, what happened?’ I said with difficulty. I still couldn’t believe she hadn’t stayed long enough to say goodbye.
‘When we got there, I told her she needed professional help, that I know a good psychiatrist, and she totally lost it. Tried to scratch my eyes out.’ His mouth tightened. ‘She smashed the place up and locked herself in the bedroom.’
‘Oh, God.’ It took a moment for his words to sink in. ‘I didn’t realise things were that bad,’ I said at last.
‘I’m used to it, Ella.’ He bowed his head and a trickle of water dripped from his hair to his lap.
A moment passed. Rain drummed on the roof of the car like angry fingers. ‘So, how come you’re back here?’ I peered through the window. The rain had reduced to a blur.
‘We left in such a hurry I forgot to check out properly.’ He half-smiled. ‘Plus, I needed to give her some space.’
‘Why didn’t she take her things?’
He shifted position and rubbed his eyes. He looked tired, his eyes sunk in his face. ‘It took all my powers of persuasion to get her into the car,’ he said. ‘I completely forgot about her stuff, and she didn’t mention it.’
‘What about her father?’
‘What about him?’ He gave me a piercing look. ‘She doesn’t want anything to do with that loser.’
I fell silent for a moment, mind whirring. She’d obviously had second thoughts about Reagan, just as she had about me. ‘Is there anything I can do?’ I didn’t know what else to say.
‘Like I said, she didn’t want to see you.’
I chewed my lip, recalling all the things Jake and Reagan had told me about Colleen that she hadn’t wanted me to know. It hurt, yet something was holding me there. I needed answers. Mum wouldn’t want me to give up.
‘I’m not her friend, I’m her sister,’ I blurted out. If he was being truthful, I needed to be, too.
Jake’s mouth fell open. ‘What?’ He looked like he’d been punched, his face the colour of porridge. ‘Colleen’s sister died a long time ago.’
Shaken by his expression, I said, ‘I’m her half-sister. We have the same mother.’ I wondered if I was making things worse by telling him. ‘She died earlier this year.’ I swallowed a hard ball of grief. ‘I only found out about Colleen a few weeks ago,’ I went on. ‘We exchanged messages and arranged to meet when she came back from America, only she wasn’t in America, and …’ Jake’s eyes strayed past me, and I felt a leap of alarm as he started the engine without warning and reversed the car into the road. ‘What are you doing?’ I said, scrabbling for my seatbelt and plugging it in.
‘You can talk to her.’ His voice was tight with repressed emotion. ‘If you are who you say you are, she might listen to you.’
‘But you said she didn’t want to see me.’
‘That’s before I knew who you really were.’ His tone grew pleading. ‘It’s got to be worth a try, Ella.’
‘She hardly knows me,’ I said, but a flicker of hope ignited inside me.
‘Well, now’s the time to change all that, don’t you think?’ He changed gears with a crunch, as though now he’d made up his mind, he couldn’t wait to get there. ‘Maybe seeing you is what sent her running,’ he said. ‘You owe it to me to at least try.’
Hot guilt welled up inside me. He was right. Colleen had probably run away because meeting me and my family had been too much for her, on top of Reagan not turning up and whatever had happened with Greg. And now Jake had found out she’d kept our meeting a secret, and that I’d lied to him too.
‘OK,’ I said, voice shaking. ‘I’ll give it a try.’
His blue gaze flickered over me, radiating disapproval. ‘I wish you’d told me the truth to start with.’
My stomach tightened with misery.
The rain had finally stopped and Jake wound down his window as we merged with traffic on a dual carriageway. Warm salty air rushed in and I inhaled a wobbly sigh. My clothes had trapped hot air against my skin, and I longed to rip off my jacket.
‘Jake, I’m so sorry …’ I began.
‘Please, Ella.’ His tone was clipped. ‘I don’t want to hear any more.’
I slumped back in my seat, feeling wretched. I didn’t know Jake or Colleen and hadn’t the slightest clue about the workings of their relationship. For all I knew, I was contributing to the break-up of their marriage. I longed for Greg, and for the velvet softness of Maisie’s cheek against mine. I wanted to call Greg, but I’d dropped my bag in the footwell and now that Jake was watching the road, his face fixed and intent, I was reluctant to draw attention to myself again.
To break the difficult silence, I considered asking him whether he and Colleen had ever wanted children, or whether she’d ever had counselling in the past, but a glance at his grim expression warned me he wasn’t in the mood for small talk.
Pale sunshine washed through the windscreen and over his face. In profile he looked a little hawkish, his nose slightly hooked at the end – no longer as attractive, though it could have been the stress. One hand repeatedly scraped his drying hair off his forehead.
He caught my gaze and I looked away, catching sight of a road sign to somewhere called Drumcliff. The streets and beaches of Sligo had given way to an empty stretch of road, surrounded by hills and fields. In the distance, I caught a glimpse of sea through a bank of trees, but it was clear we’d moved inland. The landscape was rural; dry-stone walls, sheep and outbuildings.
‘Where is this farmhouse?’ I said with a brightness I was far from feeling. My conversation with Reagan seemed aeons ago, and my sleepless night was catching up with me.
‘Almost there,’ Jake said suddenly, almost jovial now. When he threw me a grateful smile, I felt a layer of anxiety peel away. It was going to be fine. Between us, Colleen and I could explain to Jake about my mother. Perhaps in less formal surroundings I’d be able to reach Colleen. I could tell her about seeing Reagan, and how he was longing to get to know her properly – that he wanted her in his life.
My spirits lifted further as Jake indicated and followed an overgrown road downhill, eventually reaching a narrow winding lane. At the end was a five-bar gate at the mouth of an overgrown field. Beyond it, I could just make out a two-storey, grey-stone building partially hidden by trees.
Jake stopped the car, jumped out and opened the gate.
‘It’s very secluded,’ I said when he got back in and bumped the car over the long grass, onto a flattened patch of ground in front of the house. ‘What’s it called?’
‘It doesn’t have a name, it’s just an old farmhouse.’ His flash of good humour had vanished. His lips were a tight line, his eyes flinty, and a shiver of apprehension rolled through me.
Close up, the house was in a dilapidated state: slates missing from the roof, the brickwork crumbling and broken panes of glass in rotting wooden window frames. There was a neglected pond nearby, obscured by rushes, and a derelict paddock at the side of the house. ‘Looks like it needs a bit of work,’ I said, getting out of the car.
‘It’s fallen into disrepair over the last ten years. It used to be a nice place.’ Jake slammed the driver’s door and locked the car, before striding towards the house. ‘This way.’
I hesitated. ‘Shouldn’t you let her know I’m here, first?’
He stopped and turned, shielding his eyes with his hand. ‘I think it’s better this way.’
‘I’ve forgotten my bag,’ I said, pointing at the car. ‘I’ll need to call my husband.’
‘Barely any signal out here.’ His tone was measured, but I felt a whisper of fear. ‘There’s a landline,’ he added. ‘You can ring from inside.’
Thank God. There was something about the place that was getting to me – an air of neglect, as if no one had lived in it for centuries. But my sister was here right now, and that was what mattered.
I blew out a breath and followed Jake round the side of the house, to a weather-beaten blue door set into the wall. ‘Through here,’ he said, yanking it open on creaking hinges and standing aside to let me through.
It was dark after the brightness outside. I blinked a few times, letting my eyes adjust. We were in what might have been a kitchen once, but clearly hadn’t been inhabited for a while. The walls were rough plaster, and cracked wooden worktops ran around two of the walls. There was a makeshift table made of wooden pallets, and a rusted sink beneath a broken window, but otherwise the room was empty.
‘Colleen’s very quiet,’ I said, almost slamming into Jake as I turned.
‘Probably asleep.’ He moved swiftly past, ducking through a low door, and I followed him down a narrow passageway that smelt of damp and rotting apples, waiting while he opened a cupboard on the wall and fumbled out a key beside a smaller one labelled Box 3.
‘I thought you said she’d locked herself in her bedroom.’ My voice sounded shockingly loud. It was too quiet. The sort of quiet where you hear your own heartbeat pounding in your ears.
‘Did I?’ Jake’s tone was combative. ‘I meant the basement.’
‘What?’
‘It’s for her own good,’ he said. ‘You’ll see.’ He jumped down a set of stone steps, leading to a dimly lit area with a narrow door. At the bottom, he turned and held out his hand. ‘Come on.’ He curled his fingers. ‘I’ll catch you.’
I felt slow-witted, as if I was missing something crucial. Why had he locked her in and lied about it? Then I remembered him saying she’d tried to scratch his eyes out. What if she attacked me?
‘I’m not sure about this,’ I said. My teeth were chattering. It was cold in the house, as though the sun hadn’t penetrated the walls for years. ‘Maybe I should wait in the car.’
‘Oh, Ella. You’re such an innocent.’ Shockingly, he reached up and grabbed my hand and yanked me down the stairs.
‘Ow!’ I wrenched my ankle at the bottom and stumbled against him, an excruciating pain shooting up my leg. ‘What are you doing?’ I attempted to wriggle free, but his grip was too strong. In the half-light filtering down the passageway from the kitchen, his face looked cruel. ‘Jake, please let go of me.’ He pressed me against the door, so the knob dug into my hip, his breath moist on my face, and I twisted my head away. ‘What are you doing?’
‘You should have gone home, Ella.’
Panic bolted through me as understanding dawned. It wasn’t Colleen I needed to be afraid of. It was her husband. ‘Jake, please let go. You’re frightening me.’
‘Good,’ he said quietly, releasing his grip as a scrabbling started on the other side of the door. He looked at me and pressed a finger to his lips. ‘Sounds like my wife is awake,’ he whispered.
‘Colleen, is that you?’ My voice quavered. Maybe Jake was lying and he’d brought me here for some other purpose. The thought pushed tears to my eyes. ‘Colleen?’
‘Ella?’
At the sound of her voice I leapt back, pain flaring in my ankle. I tried to speak, but the urge to pass out was too strong.
‘Jake, is that Ella?’ Colleen’s voice was disbelieving. ‘Why have you brought her here, you sick fuck?’ The door rattled. ‘Ella, get out of here. He’s crazy,’ she said on a sob.
Fear clawed at my throat. ‘What does she mean?’
Now behind me, Jake chuckled softly, and the sound froze my blood. He leaned over my shoulder and thrust the key into the lock and turned it, then brought his lips to my ear. ‘In you go,’ he whispered. ‘Time for your family reunion.’ He opened the door a fraction and shoved me hard in the back. I fell inside, onto a concrete floor as the door slammed swiftly shut, the key turning in the lock.
‘You arsehole!’ There was a flurry of movement around me, followed by the sound of fists pummelling the door. ‘You coward! You can’t do this, Jake. You won’t get away with it.’
His footsteps retreated until there was only the sound of desperate weeping. It took a moment to realise it was coming from me.
‘What the hell’s going on, Ella? How in Christ’s name do you know Jake?’
Suddenly, Colleen was squatting beside me, her arm going around my shoulders. She hugged me and stroked my hair, all the while muttering profanities aimed at Jake, but I couldn’t stop crying. I knew he would come back. And when he did, he was going to kill us.