Zack
Zoe handed Nick his cone.
She flashed me a sexy smile, eyes sparking. “And what can I get you, sir?”
I leaned in. “I don’t know. What do you suggest, miss?”
“Well, that depends on whether you’re looking for more of a meal,” She stretched toward me. “Or if you were looking for something sweet.” She wiggled her eyebrows.
Even though I was leaning over a freezer case, my temperature was soaring through the roof. “I could sure—”
Nick cut in. “Knock it off, you two. I’m trying to eat and you’re making me sick.”
We laughed and tried to behave ourselves.
Things were better between Zoe and me. In fact, things were great. We decided whatever time we had together before I left for Denver, we wanted to make the most of it. We would deal with the separation when the time came. We were determined to make it work.
After Nick and I’d finished with our food, we told Zoe goodbye and Nick drove me home. The last of the three musketeers to get his license, he was eager to show off in the slick Mazda his parents had gotten him. It was a fairly terrifying ride—Nick didn’t seem to think the speed limits applied to him—and I was relieved when we pulled along the curb.
“Do you have a minute or two to talk?” Nick asked. He’d been uncharacteristically quiet on the way over.
“Sure. What’s up?”
He cut the engine, froze with his hands still on the keys in the ignition, took a deep breath, and turned to face me. He drummed his fingers on the center console.
“So, Zack. Are you enjoying high school thus far?”
That was a strange opener. I tried to guess where he was heading. “Y-y-yes.”
“Um-hum. And what would you say is the best part?”
I thought about that. “Getting to finally date Zoe.”
He waved his hands. “No, no. You can’t use specific names.”
I studied him. “I didn’t realize rules were in play. Okay, then. Getting to date.”
He licked his lips, lifted his head, and looked out the front windshield for a second. “Uhh…what else?”
“What else?”
He circled his hand toward himself in a “come on” gesture. “Yeah. Yeah. What else do you like?”
I smiled and punched him in the nearest shoulder. “Getting to hang with my home boy.”
He tilted his head, chuckled nervously, and said, “All right. Good.” He looked down, scratched at something on the console and asked, “Now. I assume you want Zoe to have as good an experience in high school as you have.”
“I thought we couldn’t mention specific names.”
He pointed to himself. “I can use names. You can’t.”
“Wow. I didn’t realize this conversation was going to be this complicated.” I was joking, but he took me seriously, waving his hands in front of me again.
“No. It’s not. Just a friendly conversation.”
He was acting so strange. “What are you getting at, Nick?”
He glanced out the window again. “It’s…I’ve been thinking….”
“Well, don’t strain yourself.”
He smiled. “I’ve been thinking about things…you going away to college and all that….”
“Yes?”
“And, well, I imagined what it would be like when you’re gone.” He paused, looking at me. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to add here, so I waited. “You’ll be gone, and…you can’t come home every weekend, right?”
Was he worried about our bromance ending? “No. But I’ll get home enough.”
“But not every weekend,” he said hurriedly.
Whatever he’s getting at, I wish he’d get to the point.
“No. Not every weekend.”
He exhaled. “Good. Good. So—”
“That’s good?”
“Yes. I mean no. It’s not good you won’t be home, but it leads into the point I was getting to.”
“Which is…?”
“I just want you to imagine…” He held his hands out in front of him, palms facing each other. “…you’re gone. It’s Friday night. There’s a football game. Zoe goes. She’s sad because it’s not you she’s watching play.”
What the hell are you getting at?
“Game’s over—we won, of course—and everyone is going out to celebrate the victory. What does Zoe do?”
I shrugged. “Go out to celebrate the victory, too?”
“Maybe. The first time. But she feels awkward. Everyone’s got their date. She’s alone. And missing you on top of it.”
“Are you trying to make me feel guilty?”
“No, man. You gotta do, what you gotta do. I’m only trying to make you see things from Zoe’s point of view.”
“Why?”
“Well, you said you want Zoe to have a good high school experience, right?”
I nodded.
“But…” He hesitated, seeming to choose his words carefully.
Good. Maybe we’re getting somewhere.
“How can she possibly do that when she’s tied to a guy who’s not around?”
“So, what do you want me to do about that?”
“Nothing. Nothing. I only want you to think about what Zoe’s life is going to be like when you’re gone.”
“So you want me to stay here?”
He shook his head rapidly. “No. No. I’m not saying that at all. U of C-Denver is where you belong.”
This conversation was making me exasperated, and starting to tick me off, too. “So what do you want me to do?”
“I don’t want you to do anything, man. But…you know that saying, if you love someone, set her free…?”
“You want me to release Zoe into the wild?” I joked.
“If you think that’s the best thing….”
What. The. Hell?
“No. I don’t think that’s the best thing.”
He took a breath. “I’m simply suggesting that, if you are serious about this relationship, and want to make it…I don’t know…” he rolled his eyes here, “a ‘forever’ thing….”
I’d never mentioned it to anyone, but I did. I couldn’t see myself living a life that didn’t have Zoe in it.
“…then….”
“What? I need to set her free?”
“Yeah, man,” he said as if that were the only logical solution.
I crossed my arms over my chest, my hands fisting. “So, what? You can have her?” If he thought I didn’t see the way he looked at her, he was crazy. I knew he still had the hots for her, and it didn’t exactly make me happy.
He frowned. “No way. Bros before hos, right?” He slowly worked away at the invisible something on the console. “But…it might be best for both of you…. Neither of you have ever dated anyone else before, right?”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek, trying to calm myself. “Yeah. So what?”
“So…let’s say you do stay together, and it’s five years down the road. You’re getting bored with Zoe. You start thinking about other women, thinking maybe they’d be better in the sack than she is….”
I grinned. “No way. No one is better than she is.”
He grimaced, and moved his body away from me, slanting it toward the door. It took him a few seconds to recover from that. “So it’s five years down the road, and she starts thinking about other guys, wondering if they could do her better than you.”
I smiled smugly. “Won’t even cross her mind.”
His jaw tightened. “Whatever.” He eyed me. I wished I could read his mind and find out what he was thinking about now. “But here’s the thing, Zack,” he leaned forward again. “Neither of you is going to know for sure unless you’ve experienced how it is with someone else. It’ll gnaw at you. Fester. You’ll become unhappy with each other—”
“Dude, plenty of people in this world have only had one partner, and they’re perfectly content.”
“But we’re talking Zoe here. She’s got a bit of the wild child in her.”
I uncrossed my arms slowly, heat flashing through me. “What makes you say that?”
He shrugged, his eyes darting around. “I don’t know. She seems very interested in the whole…physical thing. I’ve seen you two together.”
“So, make up your mind here. You’re suggesting she’s into me, then saying she won’t be.”
“She’s into you now. Five years from now…who knows?”
I scanned the neighborhood outside his front windshield, fighting the thought that…maybe he was right. Maybe Zoe’s feelings didn’t run as deep as mine did.
He started the ignition. I guessed our little talk was over. “You need to be fair to Zoe. Let her live the life of your average teen. You were able to.” He twisted and put his hand behind my seat. “She should be able to go to dances, football games, have someone walk her to class, laugh—”
I stared at him, seething inside. He was making me face things I didn’t want to face. “And you know exactly who you want that someone to be, don’t you? You’d like nothing better than to get another crack at Zoe.”
He looked to the side for a moment, then his gaze shifted to my face. “Yeah, man. I’m not gonna deny it. I have a thing for Zoe.”
Every muscle in my body went rigid when he said it.
“But I wouldn’t do that to you.” He looked me in the eye. “You’re my best friend.” He glanced away again. “And she’s my best friend. I want what’s best for both of you.”
Man, how I wished I knew if that was true. Then, for a moment, I had flashbacks of our friendship. Riding our bikes for the first time all the way to Casey’s for a soda and candy bar. Playing wiffle ball together. Going fishing…. Zoe was in some of those memories, too, but Nick and I had been through a lot together. He wouldn’t do that to me.
Or would he?
“Just think about it, Zack.” He put his hands back on the steering wheel. “Will there come a point when she regrets not being able to experience high school the way others did? Is that something you want for her?”
I stared at him for another moment, then I got out of the car without saying a word.
But his conversation did what he wanted it to do. It raised doubts in me. Like some parasite, they burrowed into my mind and unsettled my heart. If I loved her, really loved her, should I set her free? Was I asking too much from her? Was my desire, my need for her, making me act in a selfish way? The thoughts began to haunt me.
Tucker
“You need to look out for yourself.” I leaned forward, folding my arms on my desk, looking my client in the eyes.
“I know you’re right, Tucker. But…” Her gaze shifted to her left, to where her son stood in front of her, playing with my desk toy. “…he’s been a good dad. A good husband, even. We’re simply not in love anymore.”
“And I get that, Judy. I do. But you need to think about Timmy, here, and Juliette.” I motioned toward the lump of blankets in the baby seat on the chair to her right. “I don’t think Mark would cheat you out of money, either. But you have to protect yourself. For their sake.” Seeing the baby squirm beneath all of her covers made me think of Myles and how much I’d like to be holding him right now. It’d been a long day and I was ready for home.
She sighed. “You’re right. You’re right. It’s just…” when she raised her gaze to mine this time, tears swam in her eyes, “it’s so hard.”
“I know. I wish I had some magical words that would make this easier for you, but dissolving a marriage is a difficult thing to do. Especially when it’s not contentious, as is your case.”
“Yeah,” she whispered.
I glanced at Tim. He was drawing back a ball on each side and letting them go simultaneously to see what the result would be.
I took my duty to protect these kids very seriously. Their parents were often emotional basket cases throughout the proceedings and thinking clearly, and making sure the children’s futures were secure, fell on my shoulders.
Unbidden, the image flashed in my mind. Another face. Another child.
Did I fail with Ben? Like Tim and Juliette, he was once a small child, helpless, subject to the whims of grownups. I didn’t follow through enough. I mean, I called the police when no one came to the door of their trailer. After all, I’d seen the marks on her and I was worried. They told me they’d check it out. But I could have gone back the next day. At the time I did have my hands pretty full with two young kids of my own. But that was not an excuse.
It killed me to think maybe I could have stopped what happened to him from happening somehow. Maybe, in a sense, I was even partly to blame for the attack that still gave my daughter nightmares. The grim reality of what some parents did to their own offspring, the lifetime scars they left, changing and defining their children forever, it made me sick.
“Tucker?”
I shook myself. I’d become lost in my thoughts. “I’m sorry, Judy. It’s been a long day and I guess I—”
“You’re right.” She adjusted the baby’s blankets. “I’ve kept you too long.”
“Oh, no. I’m not saying that. I—”
She smiled at me. “Oh, I know you’re not. You’re too nice for that. But I have run over my time. By a longshot. Your secretary’s gone.” She stood. “Your wife’s probably wondering what’s keeping you.”
An unreasonable panic made my pulse race. It was like she was Sally with Ben, getting ready to go back to that hell she called a life. I pushed to my feet. “You don’t have to go.”
She tilted her head, eyeing me for a moment, then Juliette fussed. “Oh, shush, honey. We’re going home.” She turned to her son. “Come on, Timmy. Say goodbye to Mr. Tucker.”
The kid grinned at me with about eighty percent of his smile missing, no doubt recently put into the tooth fairy’s possession. “Bye, Mr. Tucker.”
“See you, Timmy. Be good for your mom.”
Judy lifted the carrier and held out her hand. “Thank you, Tucker. For everything. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
“Well,” I held out my hand and Timmy slapped it. “Ouch.” He was a cute kid. I looked at Judy. “It’s my pleasure to help you. Call me if you need anything. I can give you my home number….”
Again, her gaze seemed to be assessing me. “I don’t think that should be necessary.”
“Of course, not. You’re right. I’ll let you know when the trial date is set.”
“Thanks.” She turned to leave.
“Do you need help with that car seat?”
She laughed. “No. We’re good. I’m sure you get enough lifting with that new son of yours.”
I walked with her to the front door. “I’m actually up for more. Can’t get enough of the little booger.”
“Is he sleeping better yet?”
“Yes. I think he’s finally settling into a routine.” I opened the door. “You guys have a great week.”
“Thanks, Tucker. Same to you.”
Timmy stood in front of me, grinning. When I looked at him, he giggled.
“Come along, Timothy Andrew.”
I put a hand on his shoulder and tilted my head. “Dude. You better get going. She used your whole name.”
Judy smiled and held out her hand to him. “Are you ready for some pizza?”
“Pizza!” He jumped around, then yanked at her arm as he strained toward the car.
I lifted my hand one more time as she got behind the wheel. “Night.”
I went back inside and locked the door behind me. As I did, something drew my attention across the parking lot. A green Cordoba gunned its engine. The window of the car was open, which was odd on such a blustery day. Then a cigarette butt was flicked across the pavement. I focused in on the driver and my eyes widened. The car peeled out, cutting off another vehicle on the busy street in front of my firm and earning a honk.
It was Thomas James.
Thomas James. A case I’d won. But at what cost? James promised to punish me for taking his kids from him in a custody battle, and since his release from jail, my front windows had been shot out while my family was at home, and my pregnant wife was driven into a building by a car.
It wasn’t coincidence he was outside my building.