Killian
It had been nigh on three days since me favorite trio of lasses were in. And, to tell the truth, I was pining for them. Especially one of them.
And in she sallied, all by herself. I couldn’t help the smile that broke over my face. It was the one she’d birthed in me. I didn’t know it until the day I met her.
“Well, now. Miss Josephine.”
She dropped her gaze for a second then seemed to fight it back up. “Killian.” The fierce green of her eyes made me as useless as a cigarette lighter on a motorbike. I casually leaned on the bar, but I was really needin’ the support for she fair blew me away with her beauty and sweetness. She had on a blouse as emerald as Erin itself and snug jeans with a long faded streak on each leg stretching them further than the day is long. She wore murderously high heels, but she seemed to take to them. Not like some other birds I’d seen, teetering around, likely to have an ankle banjaxed at the drop of a hat. It wasn’t quite as bold as the outfit she wore the last time she was in, but it still had a sexiness to it. I’d lay money on it being Dani’s choice.
“Aren’t you just the picture?” the words escaped me without so much as asking permission.
“Oh, uhh…thanks.”
She seemed uncomfortable with the compliment but hopped on a stool despite it. I looked over her shoulder. “Aren’t your friends coming?”
“No. I mean, yes. They’re coming. I’m just early. I tend to do that.” Her gaze roamed wide. Another thing I noticed she tended to do was find out the room when she walked in it.
“Well, now. ’Tis the early bird who catches the worm and all. Speaking of worms…” I pulled out a bottle. “…how about some tequila?”
She giggled. “Tequila? Wow. I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. How about that stuff you gave me the last couple of times?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Jameson’s?”
“Yes. I think I’m getting used to that.”
I poured her a drink and myself one as well. The two shot glasses between us seemed to offer a certain intimacy. Or else I was daft in the brain for want of her. I raised my glass, and she raised hers.
“Oh. Do you think we should wait for the others?”
I shook my head and stared at her. She squirmed in anticipation. So damned cute. I leaned on the bar, bringing our heads close together. She didn’t pull away. Was that sexual tension in the air? Or was I a half-bubble beyond true?
I cleared my throat. Were my mother there, she would have told me to get off the stage with my dramatics. “May misfortune follow you all of your days….”
She gasped. “What?”
I tapped her glass, tilted my head, and finished my toast. “…and never catch up.” I lifted my gaze and straightened as Dani and Sam walked in, their mouths hanging open.
Sam hopped right in. “Did you just toast with another woman?”
“What?” I winked at Josie. “You’re mad as a box of frogs. I would never, on my life, toast with anyone other than you.”
“Uh-huh. Then why are two glasses on the bar?”
“Oh,” Josie said quickly. “Those are mine.” She smiled at me. “You two are behind. Better take a seat and order.”
Sam’s mouth opened wider, and she stuck a hand on her cocked hip, but I caught a hint of pride shining in her eyes. Before she could start in, I spoke up. “So, ladies.” I spread my arms wide on the bar. “What’s the craic?”
“Can’t tell you that,” Sam swung her leg over a stool. “But I can tell you a lot of crap is being slung around in here.”
Glasses rang out as I placed them on the bar before them. I wriggled my eyebrows. “Fancy a few scoops, do ya?”
Sam sneered. “No. But I’ll have a drink.”
Dani leaned in. “You look nice, Josie.”
Understatement of the year.
“Thanks. I like your outfit.”
Dani’s eyes opened wider. “Oh, thank you.”
Having poured our glasses, I pushed them before my three birds. They waited. I had them in the palm of me hand. “As you slide down the banister of life…” I held my drink to each in turn, ending with Sam. “…may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.”
“Hey. That’s not as nice as hers,” Sam protested, gesturing to Josie, who seemed tickled by that.
At the same time, Dani writhed around on her seat with a pained expression. “Ouch. Man.”
I roared, swallowed my drink, gave Josie one more look, then went to help another customer.
When I ventured back to their side of the bar, Sam was saying, “Let’s ask Killian. He should know.”
They all looked at me expectantly and my palms began to sweat. “Just what is it I should be knowin’ about?”
“You know the majority of these patrons, right?”
I looked around. “A right few. Aye.” I took a sip of my water. I needed to offset the shots or I’d be as sick as a small hospital in the morning.
“Great.” Sam hit the bar with the palms of both hands. “You can help us then. Who do you think Josie should hit on?”
I about spat out my drink, but somehow managed to swallow it. Some of the water went down the wrong pipe, though, making me cough. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and choked out a, “What?”
“Like that one. Over there. He’s cute. Do you know him?”
I looked in the direction she indicated. “What? The one with the beard on him?”
“Yes. What’s he like?”
“Teddy?” Actually, he was a likeable lad, but I wasn’t about to set him up with Josephine. “Oh, well…you’ll want to stay dog wide of him.” I frowned and shook my head, rubbing my chin as if considerin’.
“What?” Sam balked. “What’s wrong with him? He looks like he’s a nice guy.”
“Oh, now. Looks don’t tell the full tale. Teddy…he’s a blackguard. The truth and him parted ways a long time ago, and I doubt they’ll be meeting again soon.”
“Oh.” She drooped for a second then straightened with new energy. “Him. That guy by the jukebox.”
“What? That awful long string of misery with the blond mop?” She nodded. I’d never seen the man in my life, but he was far too good looking to be throwin’ in with me Josie. “He? Well, you’ll want nothin’ to do with him, sure. He’s tighter than a duck’s arse. Never leaves a tip. Just look how he’s squeezing those quarters together trying to decide what to play. Sometimes he’ll be at it for hours.”
“Hmm.” Her eyes wandered, then landed on a fella a few feet away. “Him?”
I leaned in so he wouldn’t hear. “Married.”
“He’s not wearing a ring,” she said doubtfully.
I raised my eyebrows and nodded. “Exactly.” I took another swig from my bottle, more comfortable with the situation.
Josie leaned into our little circle. “It doesn’t seem like any worthwhile prospects are present.”
“No. Don’t give up yet.” Sam continued to search. “The guy leaning against the wall. With the boots.”
I cast an eye in his direction. “Ahh. Not him. He’s away with the fairies.” I held a hand near my temple and moved it in circles, indicating the man was a loon.
“A fairy? Really? I’d have never thought that.” She’d misinterpreted me, but I didn’t bother to explain. “Guy with the blue shirt.”
“What? The short one?”
“No. The one next to him.”
“Oh. You mean Walter.” I knew she’d get suspicious if I shot everyone down. I needed to be sly. “He might be all right. There’s a bit of a want in him, though.”
She stared at me. “Meaning?”
“A smidge dense.” I looked over again, then winced as if it was difficult for me to talk bad about him. “Thick as a ditch, actually. But a nice fella.”
Sam looked at Josie.
“No,” she said adamantly.
That’s my gal.
“Hey, Sam,” Dani interjected. “The three guys by the pool table.” She waited until Sam had her gaze fixed on the trio. “The one in the middle.”
Sam smiled. “Oh, yea-a-ah. He’s a looker.” She gazed at me expectantly.
Josie’s eyes shone. She liked the looks of him, too, no doubt.
I shook the ice around in my glass. “Himbo.”
Sam frowned. “Huh?”
Dani explained before I could. “Male bimbo.”
Josie’s shoulders slumped. “Darn.”
I tried to hide my smirk.
Sam wouldn’t give up the ghost. “The guy to his right.”
I yawned as if bored, but really I was having a whale of a time putting all these young cusses down. “Whanker.”
“To his left?”
“That one? That one, Sam? He’d get up on a cracked plate. No decency about him whatsoever. Really? You want her to catch syphilis, do ya?” I scowled at her, shaking my finger. “You lie down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas.”
“Well, there’s definitely not going to be in lying down. I’m not that kind of girl.”
Sam stared at her. “It’s only an expression.” She looked around. “So, he’s out.”
A few second later, Dani pointed, “Guy in the suit. In the corner there.”
An older gent, a regular named Quinn, who was the nearest person to us, had heard our conversation and I could tell he was enjoying it.
“I guess he’d be a possibility. What do ya think, Quinn?”
He spun on his stool and sized the fella up. “Nah.” He whirled back. “He’d sell ya the eye out of your head. Sure he would.”
I nodded. “True.”
“Bit of a laudy daw, too,” he added.
Sam looked at me for a translation.
“Snobby. Got a stick up his arse.”
“Aye,” Quinn continued. “A pure Dickey Dazzler.”
I stared in the fella’s direction. “You can dress a goat in silk, but he’s still a goat.”
Quinn chuckled.
Sam sighed. A chap walked in the door. “And I suppose something’s wrong with that one, too?”
I’d decided he was too young for Josephine, and was about to say so, but Quinn wasn’t done yet.
“Bah. Bit of a waster, he is. He’d talk for all Ireland, he would. And mind ya, talk doesn’t wear the clothes.” He swiveled to peer at him again. “E’s as useless as a chocolate teapot, that one.” He took a drink, but sputtered as he’d thought of more to say. Mmm-mmm-mmm. Once the drink was swallowed, he put out, “And a Holy Joe, to boot.”
I gave him a wink. “A truer word was ne’er spoke.”
A pause ensued while Sam surveyed the room once more.
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Killian. I’m beginning to think you’d have something bad to say about anyone I picked out.”
“’Twas Quinn who said that.” I pointed at him.
“’Tis true.” He tipped his drink, finishing it. “I said that.”
“I’d not lead you astray, Samantha.” I put a hand over my heart and raised three fingers in what I hoped was a Boy Scout salute. “I’m certain someone here is fit.” I let my gaze wander over the room, pretending to be searching someone out. A young buck crossed behind Quinn, heading for the dart board. “’Im.”
The trio checked him out.
“E’s a good un. Right, Quinn?”
The old goat eyed me for a moment, but played along. “Aye. For sure.”
Sam straightened. “Well, all right, then.” Josie got to her feet.
“That is….” I looked Quinn in the eye and he bit his bottom lip. “If ya don’t mind being battered from time-to-time.” We both broke out laughing.
“A lot of help you are,” Sam huffed.
I reeled myself in. “Now don’t get your knickers in a bunch. I can’t help it if the bar is full of bowsies and eejits tonight, now can I?”
“I guess not,” she answered dejectedly.
“How ’bout I buy the next round. Will that cheer ya?”
She smiled. “It couldn’t hurt.”
“That’s my girl.” I filled their glasses then caught Quinn’s eye. “Join us?”
His gaze ran over their glasses longingly. “I do have a throat on me….”
“Come on, now. I won’t have you passing away from lack of drink. Besides, the missus won’t be missin’ you for another two bells.”
“I’ll oblige ya, then. Not for meself, mind ya.”
I set his drink before him. “Of course not.”
“But for your own edification.”
I raised my glass. “I’m forever grateful to you. Now—”
Quinn was about to drink, but I put a hand on his arm. “May the good Lord keep you in His hand, and never close his fists too tight.” I dinked my glass against his. “Slainte.” I started to raise it toward my three charming women, but he grabbed my arm.
“No. No. Let’s drink to your coffin.” I waited. He lifted his glass higher and looked at the girls with a twinkle in his eye. “May it be built from the wood of a hundred-year-old tree that I shall plant tomorrow.”
“Slainte,” Sam repeated and we all drank. A few of us exhaled loudly and gave a shake of our heads at the bite of the booze. “Do all you Irish lads know how to toast?”
Quinn winked. “Ev’ry last one of ’em.” He laughed uproariously until he coughed. “It’s on the—” he coughed again “—exams in school.” His laugh wound down into a wheeze at the end. He was a prince, that one.
As I worked to fill orders, I glanced over from time-to-time. Dani was standing behind Sam and Jo. They were gabbing, but also casing the joint for prospects. I was scooping ice out of the bin, but my hand froze for a second. I realized I could only put them off for so long. I needed more time. More time to convince them I was a worthy prospect.
“Killian?”
I turned to stare at the customer blankly.
“You all right?”
I shook myself. “Yeah, Teddy. I’ll get to your pint in a sec.”
“Oh, take your time. You just seemed a bit lost for a moment.”
“Aye,” I said vaguely, going about my work.
Was I a worthy candidate for Josie? And why did I care? Birds went for ninety to a dozen in here. There was no want, for sure. I’d never concerned myself with it. Female company could be pleasant, but…it never seemed to have much meaning in it. I tilted my head, considerin’ it, then turned it to consider her. She laughed at something Sam said, and it warmed me. I’d felt different about her than any other woman, since the second our paths met. I’d been marching my path alone for as long as I could remember, but was I at a crossroads?
I was struck by the memory of a conversation I’d once had with me da. “Killian,” he’d said, his arm around Mam’s shoulder, “you remember this, lad.” He turned his weathered face to hers. “Company makes the journey fly.” She’d laughed and kissed him. It was a bittersweet memory, as they’d gone and left me alone.
Perhaps it was time for a change in course.