Zoe
I stared at the ceiling, lying in my bed, fingers laced, arms across my stomach. A soft rap on the doorframe brought me out of my daze.
“Hey, Zo. Can I come in?” My dad still stood with his knuckles grazing the frame.
“Sure, Dad.” I flipped onto my side, curling my hands underneath my chin and he came to sit by me. I knew Dani probably called him, and I was all right with that.
He rubbed a hand over my hair. It reminded me of how he used to do it when I was small, and it still soothed me in the same way. And how he used to comb my hair. He had been so bad at it. But he’d tried, and that was what mattered. “You okay?”
My throat tight, I just nodded.
He continued to stroke my hair, and I found the knots in my body began to loosen. “Dani said you weren’t feeling well, sweetheart. Is there anything I can do?”
His voice was gentle. I knew he worried about me all the time, and that bothered me. He shouldn’t have to do that. I tilted my head so the sun from the window hit it, though there was nothing to see from this angle.
“Daddy?”
He stopped patting me and rested his hand on my shoulder.
I debated not telling him, but in the end couldn’t keep it inside. I shifted my gaze to his face to register his reaction. “Ben Oatam came to school today.”
He stared at me. It was like I threw a rock into the gears of his mind. He took his hand slowly from my shoulder and put it in his lap. All the blood drained from his face. “He….” He blinked several times, his lips parted. “I’m sorry, did you say Ben came to your school?”
“Yes, but Daddy—”
He jumped to his feet. “Did he approach you? If he laid a finger on you, I swear I’m gonna—”
“No. He didn’t do anything.” I bit my lip. This is what I’d stewed over since Zack chased him away. He hadn’t done a single thing to harm me.
“Is he crazy?” He paced, his hand on his chin. “Doesn’t he know we have a restraining—What about those security officers? Did they help you?” He stopped to look at me.
“No, they—”
“They didn’t help you? I told them about what happened to you. What Ben did. Asked them to look out for you. They promised me they—”
He wasn’t looking at me, just rambling. I pushed to a sitting position, hugging my knees. “Dad. Calm down.”
“What kind of good for nothing—”
“Calm down.” The words came out louder than I intended for them to.
His gaze flew to mine, eyes wide.
“Please.”
He didn’t move.
“Come sit by me.” I needed him there. Needed him to pull it together. I think he sensed it, because he took a deep breath and came over to sit on the bed.
He stared at the sheets, then to the side and a vein pulsed near his jaw. He was close to losing it. “Can—” He took another deep breath and ran a hand over his face, keeping it over his mouth for a second before dropping it in his lap. “Can you tell me what happened?”
I took my own breath, and my heartbeat, which had escalated in tandem with his, began to slow. “It was by the gym. Rita Farnsworth was talking with me, then she took off for an appointment. Ben—”
“You were alone? Down there by the gym?” His words were coming out fast and clipped again.
I put a hand on his forearm. “Daddy. I’m fine. Zack came and….” I couldn’t finish.
He put his hand on top of mine where it rested on his arm. “It’s okay, honey.”
I looked into the corner of the room, wrestling my emotions. I looked at him. “Zack came, then Coach Cummings.”
“Hank Cummings? The baseball coach?”
“Yes. And Ben just…ran away.”
He wrapped his arms around me. I slid my legs down so he could draw me in against his chest. He must not have had any meetings today because he had on jeans and a casual, button-up shirt. I closed my eyes, laying my head against him.
“I’m so sorry, Zoe.” He was choked up. “I’m so sorry, honey.” He moved one of his big hands to the back of my head like Zack did. It reassured me. Like I was totally protected from the tip of my head to my toes. His heart beat loudly.
We stayed like that for a while, until I leaned back, bringing my knees in again. I circled my arms around them more loosely than I had before. He waited for me to talk. I stared at my knees while I gathered my thoughts. “The thing is…” I lifted my head and peered into the corner again. Ben’s face came back to me. He had changed. He looked…scared, and sad, and…. Tears pressed against my eyelids. I tilted my head, picking at a piece of lint as I thought. I lifted my gaze to his. “Would you be disappointed in me if I dropped the charges against him?”
“Dropped the charges?” He studied my face. “Did he threaten you?”
“No. No, Dad. He didn’t threaten me. He came to…apologize.”
“Apologize?” he said incredulously.
“Yes. He didn’t hurt me, didn’t even come near me until I screamed. He looked so scared and he begged me to stop. Said he wasn’t there to hurt me, he wanted to apologize.”
He turned his head and stared out the window for a couple of seconds.
“You think I’m making the wrong decision. That I’m being stupid.”
“No, I don’t.” He put his hand on my knee. “I don’t, Zoe.” He took a breath. “I wouldn’t presume to tell you what you should do in this situation. I know you aren’t an adult in the legal sense. But after the things you went through…. Well, let’s just say they rushed maturity.”
I blew out a breath. “Yeah.”
“This happened to you, Zoe. And I will respect any decision you make.” He moved his hand to pinch a wrinkle in the sheets, gliding his fingers back and forth along it. “But…other girls have come forward. I’m not sure they’ll drop the charges.”
“That’s their decision.”
“Yes, it is.” He was silent for a beat. “I don’t want to influence your decision, but I want you to be aware of any possible repercussions…. He could do this to another girl.”
“I don’t think he will.”
He searched my face again, looking for a reason for my change of heart.
“Daddy, I don’t want to go through it all again. Relive it. But I’m not taking the easy way out. I think I’m taking the right way.”
He reached across my body and wrapped his hand around my arm, rubbing it up and down, trying to give me a smile. “If that’s what you want, Zo, that’s what we’ll do.”
I nodded my head rapidly. “That’s what I want.”
He took a deep breath then exhaled. “Okay.” He got to his feet and stuck his hands in his pockets. “I don’t think Zack is going to like this.”
I chuckled, raising my eyebrows. “No. He’s not.” I looked out the window, my portal to Zack. “But he’ll respect my decision.”
“I know he will. He’s a good kid.”
I looked at him and smiled.
“And I owe him one for what he did today.” He assessed me. “Do you feel any better now?”
I searched my emotions. A weight had been lifted. “Yeah. I do.”
Tucker
I closed the door behind me as Zoe asked me to do, but stood with my hand on the knob. She was so sure. How could she be sure? I was conflicted. It had been killing me for weeks, since Sally Beckwith told me her story. Their story. I shook my head and walked slowly along the hall.
I was angry after the attack. So angry. Any man would have been, but…Zoe was what kept me moving forward when I was a new dad. Gina left me. I was finishing school…. But Zoe. Zoe was pure magic. That sweet innocent face…every time I looked at it, it filled me with this need to make everything right for her.
I’d failed miserably.
I knew it wasn’t my fault. Knew it on some level. But…. I trudged down the stairs. Dani looked up from where she was breastfeeding Myles on the couch. What a juxtaposition. From a child whose innocence was stolen from her, to this tiny one, who had no idea how dark the world could be.
“How is she?”
“Hmm…oh…she’s okay.”
Dani frowned. “Care to elaborate?”
“Uhh…,” I came over and rubbed Myles’ soft head. “Not until I have a chance to digest it myself.”
“Oh.”
She sounded hurt. I bent to kiss her. “I need to go for a drive and kind of sort things out in my head, babe.”
She nodded, looking at me sympathetically. “Take your time. Dinner won’t be ready for another hour.”
“’Kay. Thanks for understanding.”
I pulled in front of a Joe-average house, in a Joe-average neighborhood, with Joe-average cars in the driveways. Parking across the street allowed me time to assess things as I walked to their door. White, two-story house. Black shutters, black door. Standing in front of it, I stared at the brass knocker. Hands on my hips, I let out a sigh and hung my head. What was I doing? I knocked.
Sally answered the door. Ben was a few feet behind her in the living room.
“Oh, shit.” His face lost all color.
“Can I come in?”
Sally looked to her left. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
A newspaper crinkled and someone got to their feet.
I gritted my teeth. “Please. I’d like to talk to you.”
A man came into view. He was maybe 5’5, 5’6, balding, with a patch of black hair on either side of his head and thick-rimmed glasses on his face. His mustache twitched as he studied me, wearing a white shirt and black tie, with a yellow sweater vest over it. He mirrored my position, hands on hips.
“Who are you?” he said gruffly.
“He’s the attorney. The father,” his wife offered.
His mouth dropped open and he looked at me to confirm it.
I exhaled and nodded.
Mr. Beckwith spun on his heels a little to look at Ben. Ben lowered his eyes, his shoulders hunched.
He looked at his wife again and she shrugged.
“Well…I guess you can come on in.”
“Thank you.” I followed him, eyeing Ben, my jaw tightening to an uncomfortable level.
A yellow floral couch stood under the front windows and Mr. Beckwith made his way to it, snatching a newspaper off it, and folding it as he went to the far end. He placed it on a table and sat, waving his arm over the couch.
“Have a seat.” He crossed his arms and frowned at his stepson.
Sally stood rubbing her hands. “Wh-what do you want?”
“I want to ask Ben a couple of questions.”
She grimaced and looked at her son but remained silent.
“Ben,” I said his name carefully. It tasted bitter on my tongue. “My daughter Zoe has decided to drop charges against you.”
His lips parted and he looked at his mom. She stared at me as if not comprehending.
“She is convinced—”
“Mr. McCord, I—”
“Don’t interrupt the man, Ben,” his stepfather barked.
“No.” I sat back into the couch more. “I’d like to hear what Ben has to say for himself.”
He closed his mouth and stared at the coffee table for a moment. “Mr. McCord. I want to apologize for what happened between Zoe and me—” Before I could say anything, he corrected himself. “What I mean is,” he looked me in the eye, “I want to apologize for what I did to Zoe. Not that an apology will fix what I’ve done. I know the damage. How it feels, and how it doesn’t disappear. Ever. I can’t believe I was capable—” He took a step back and rubbed a finger over his bottom lip.
If this kid is acting, he deserves an Oscar.
“My doctor says I had a breakthrough. She used hypnosis to—” He shook his head, starting over. “She said I have repressed things that happened to me instead of addressing them, and like a pot put on the stove, it will eventually spill out, or something like that. I won’t make excuses for my behavior like my mom does,” he looked at her, “because—”
“But Benji, you—”
“Mo-o-om. Please let me handle this.” She looked like she was going to say something else but he cut her off. “Please.” She quieted, though she looked very unhappy about it.
“There is no excuse for the things I did. It was wrong. And, well, wrong is simply…wrong. I can’t undo the harm I’ve done to Zoe, and that’s something I have to live with. I know that doesn’t compare with what she has to live with now, but….” He looked at me again, and tears were in his eyes. “I wish I could go back and,” he swung his arms out to his sides, “erase the things I did. But I can’t.” He lowered his head and shook it. “I can’t.” His voice rose in pitch and he had to stop. “I don’t know what to say to you. There’s nothing I can say. I—” He held a hand over his stomach and bent at the waist, his shoulders shaking, finally breaking down. Sally ran over to him and put her arm over his back, bending to whisper comforting things to him, but she was crying, too.
I looked at the husband, who stared at me with his mouth open. Pain screamed in his eyes. I put my hands on my knees and pushed to a standing position. I looked on for another moment, then moved toward the door.
“Mr. McCord, wait.” Ben fought to gain control of himself. He came toward me. “I don’t deserve what Zoe’s doing, but I am grateful for it.”
What does one say to that? I stood and stared at him, collecting my own emotions before saying, “If I ever hear you’ve done anything to any woman, you won’t get any mercy. I’ll come after you myself.”
“I will never do anything like that to anyone. But if I were to, I want you to come after me. I want you to come after me and make sure they lock me up and throw away the key.”
I left without saying another word.