Zoe
Fifteen outfits were spread out and/or wadded on my bed, and I was back in the first outfit I’d tried on, the dress I had worn to my Aunt Sam’s wedding. I turned sideways, smoothing a hand along the front as I checked out my reflection. The green did accent my eyes, but was it too…I don’t know…juvenile, to be wearing for our important date?
I crossed to the window. Zack’s curtain was drawn. Was he getting ready, too? Something told me he didn’t have fifteen outfits on his bed. Guys had it so easy.
I picked my phone up from my desk and looked at the message I’d saved since Wednesday.
WOULD YOU BE AVAILABLE SATURDAY? I’D LIKE TO TAKE YOU OUT SOMEWHERE NICE. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
A warm shiver of anticipation ran through me. He’d acted so weird all week. I’d talked to Chrissy Henson about it.
“What do you mean weird?”
I smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s been kissing me a lot. Telling me he loves me. And he’s been super serious. I don’t know…he’s just been…different. And today he was plain nervous. Like he was asking me out on a first date or something. Weird.”
She sucked in air, her eyes glowing. “OMG!”
Alarm set in. “What?”
She took my hands and did these mini jumps of excitement. “OMG!”
“Would you stop saying that?”
She steered me out of the flow of traffic in the crowded hallway we were in. “Don’t you know what this means?”
“Obviously not. That’s why I asked you. Have you lost it, Chrissy Jean?”
“Oh, Zoe.” She looked like she was ready to cry and squeezed my hands. She spoke slowly, as if preparing me for her words, dipping her head and looking at me intently. “He’s going to…propose.”
I stared at her for a moment. “You’re bat-shit-crazy. He’s not going to propose.” I guided her back into the flow of the hallway and stepped up my pace, as we were now in danger of being tardy. “You read too many of those Harlequin romances.”
“No, Zoe. What else would it be?”
I had no answer for that. What would be so important we had to get all snazzed up and go to The Green Gateau to discuss it? I mean…proposing? My dad would kill us. And when he was done killing us, his mom would murder us. I mean, we were too young, weren’t we? But still….
Damn, Chrissy. Her excitement infected me and all day I’d imagined different romantic ways Zack could propose to me. That was crazy. It wasn’t me. I wasn’t one of those girls who wrote their first name with their boyfriend’s last name all day long. At least not all the time. I didn’t dream of wedding plans, draw my dress, watch those stupid wedding shows. Okay, maybe once or twice, but I didn’t like it. But…could I help it if I was a tiny bit pumped for tonight’s dinner?
I mean, it sort of made sense. He was going to be going away to school, and he’d want to solidify our relationship before leaving, right? And, it really didn’t matter how Zack proposed, of course I’d say yes. Zoe and Zack, womb to tomb. I was so into him it hurt sometimes.
One thing I didn’t understand, though. He wanted to meet me there. That made about zero sense since we’d be leaving from practically the same place. I tugged the filmy curtains on my window back, as if that would somehow, magically open his.
What are you up to Zachariah Avery Issaacs?
My palms were sweating and I was shaky, but I was going to play it cool. I would be completely surprised by whatever it was he was going to say. But my heart was bubbling over. I gave myself one last look in the mirror, took a deep breath, and laughed at myself.
You are such a dork, Zoe.
I swung around my bedpost and rushed downstairs.
Zack
I was sick to my stomach.
I can’t believe I’m going to do this.
My whole life was riding on this night and I wasn’t sure if I could go through with it. And Zoe was so sweet all week.
I jerked on my tie as I followed the host, weaving through tables. I was sweating so much I was worried my bangs were wet. And this place wasn’t helping, either. White tablecloths, crystal…I was definitely going to puke. When the guy I was following juked to the right to go around a table, I saw her and froze.
Oh, my God. She is so gorgeous.
She was sitting at our table, holding her water glass and staring in the other direction. Her legs were crossed and the top foot was bopping around like she’d had too much Mountain Dew, which she probably had. She had that dress on.
Geez.
I couldn’t breathe. Her hair was up, like for the wedding, and she had on the head-bow thing, whatever you called those. It didn’t matter. She was an absolute fox. And…she was Zoe. My Zoe. I loved her. Loved her more than anything.
I wasn’t going to be able to do this.
She jumped when the guy leading me approached the table and her gaze searched for me as I hurried to catch up. When she noticed me, this smile broke out over her face that hit me like a stun gun. My legs dragged like I had a tackler attached to each one.
“Hi.”
I simply stared. I couldn’t find my voice.
Her smile wavered. She looked at the host. “Thank you.”
I said nothing, pulled out my seat, and yanked on my tie again as I lowered myself into it. I wasn’t comfortable. I glanced around at other guys and unbuttoned my suitcoat. It seemed acceptable.
“How are you?”
Awful. “Good. Yeah…. Did you order yet?”
She looked confused. Stupid question. “No. I….” She glanced around at the other tables, too. Coming here was a bad idea. I wanted to make it special, but this wasn’t us. “I was waiting for you.”
“Oh, okay. Good.” We sat in awkward silence. My head spun, searching for something to say, but any thoughts were echoing in the emptiness of my mind. I stared at the table. Comment on the weather? How nice she looked? Ask her about her day?
I jumped when she touched my hand.
“Zack? Are you okay? You look kind of pale.”
She glided her thumb over the tops of my fingers. Her skin was so soft and she was so loving, and gentle, and good….
“Zack?”
“Uhh…no, I’m fine.” My mouth was dry and I slid my hand away from her to reach for my water. She sat back, dropping her hands to her lap. The water seemed to center me some. I leaned in. “I guess I’m…a little nervous.” I let my eyes wander around the room. “This isn’t exactly my scene.”
“Oh. Well, we don’t have to stay here. We can—”
“No,” I said a bit too forcefully.
Her gaze flitted around again, probably seeing if anyone caught my outburst. “Okay.” She reached for her own water and took a drink.
“I want it to be here.”
She coughed and looked like she was going to spit out her water, but recovered. She smiled at me tentatively. “Want what to be here?”
Do I do it now? No. I wanted her to have a nice dinner. Besides, I wasn’t ready.
I’ve never taken her out someplace nice. Why haven’t I done that?
I looked into her face and realized she’d been waiting for an answer. “Uhh…. Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
Thankfully the waiter came over at that time. We hadn’t even looked over the menu, so he said he’d come back.
Zoe opened her menu, but kept looking at me over the top. I pretended to look at mine. I closed my eyes for a second. My head was pounding. I shook myself and tried to focus in on the fancy print on the page in front of me.
Zoe closed her menu and slid it into her lap, leaning in. “Just pretend you’re someone else. A movie star or something. That’s what I’ve been doing. It’s kind of fun.”
I exhaled and laughed. Leave it to Zoe. She unfolded her menu again and scanned it with this prim, superior expression on her face. She peered at me over the top and winked. I was able to relax a fraction and order dinner. Then that uncomfortable silence fell again. I went over what I needed to say in my head for the thousandth time. I had to get it right.
Zoe interrupted my thoughts. “How’s your mom?”
“My mom?”
“Yeah. How is she? I haven’t seen her in a long time.”
“Oh. Good. She’s doing good.”
“Did she get that raise she wanted?”
I smiled. “Yeah. She did.”
“That’s great. She so deserved that. She works harder than any other nurse on that staff.”
“Yeah. Right?”
Zoe filled the table with mindless chatter, which is exactly what I needed. I managed to get my food down when it came. Zoe pigged out on dessert. I’ll never understand how she stays so skinny. I sat back at one point to watch her and my heart was full. One second it was warm, the next the weight of it dragged me under.
“Mmm.” She laughed, wiping chocolate mousse from her mouth with her napkin. “I’m such a mess. This is way better than Jell-O pudding.”
I chuckled, but it was hollow. I was running out of time.
She pushed her dish away, put her napkin on the table, folded her arms and leaned on the table as she bent toward me. “So Zack,” she said quietly. She waited. “What’s this big surprise you have?”
Oh, God.
I laced my fingers and set my hands on the edge of the table and took a deep breath. Even so, I was sort of light-headed. I cleared my throat. This wasn’t going to go away. I needed to man up.
“Zoe, you know how much I love you.”
Her eyes twinkled. “Yes….”
“And…I’m going to college after next year.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“I want you to have the best experience when I’m gone. To enjoy high school. Be free to do what you want.” I opened my hands, palms up. “Go to dances, to games, to do…whatever you want to do….”
She nodded. Her face was so bright. I could hardly look at her. I got the feeling she wasn’t really listening, but I plowed on.
“I think it may be time we see other people. Test the waters so we know it’s right between us….”
Her smile faltered.
“Then someday, maybe, after high school, we’ll get back together and—”
“You’re breaking up with me?”
“Uhh…I guess you could call it that….”
“Usually that’s what it’s called when people stop seeing each other.”
“But I’ll be around, Zoe. And we can still be friends.”
She pushed away from the table. “You’re breaking up with me.”
“Uhh, you see, it’ll be better for both of us.”
She put a hand on her head. “Oh, my God. I’m such an idiot.”
“What? Why?”
She moved her hand to her chest and put the other hand over her mouth. Her face crumpled and she cried.
I reached for her. “Zoe?”
“No, Zack. No!” she bit off. She gestured widely. People began to become aware something was going on. “You brought me here because you thought I wouldn’t make a scene.”
“What? No.”
“Well, I hate to disappoint you.” She looked like she was going to say something else, but she jumped to her feet and ran out of the room.
I sat, stunned. It all took a matter of a few minutes.
A few minutes for me to completely rip my life to shreds.