Chapter 19

Killian

After I’d hauled some trash from the bathroom to the curb, and loaded my tools, I got behind the wheel to drive home. As I was putting the keys in the ignition, I spied the pack of birthday candles I bought sitting on the front seat.

“Damn.” She needed birthday candles.

I scooped them up and headed back inside. I had to be home by 2:15 so I could shower and get to work by three. I opened her front door as quietly as possible and tiptoed so as not to wake her. I didn’t want to be around when she found my gift, in case she thought it was stupid. It would be easier to play off later, at the bar, if she mentioned it and seemed uncomfortable. And she needed to sleep. She looked plain knackered.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached the cake without waking her, but a squeak made me whirl around.

“Jaysus, woman!”

I put a hand to my temple to block my sight. Even so, I’d caught her arising from the sudsy water like a pure mermaid ascendin’ from the foam of the sea. Brief a glimpse though it was, she was lovely. She was feverishly trying to gather sparse suds around her like a gown.

I grasped the counter, my heart beating against my ribcage painfully. “You ’bout put my heart crossways in me, ya did! I—” A battle was waging in me and the devil was a strong opponent. I cheated, taking in a glimpse of her in the mirror that remained up. She had sunk lower in the water. Her eyes were wide, hair dripping wet. “I beg your pardon.” I ran from the room, down the hall, and out the front door. I slapped a hand to my forehead.

What must she think of me, intruding on her like that? If I’d had any chance with the girl before, it was sure gone now.

Josie

The water around my submerged head totally blocked the sound of his entrance, but when I lifted and saw him…well, I’d never seen a more horrified look on a man’s face in my entire life. Then he vacated so quickly, I was almost left questioning if he’d been there at all. A hand over my heart, I struggled to bring my breathing under control and wrap my mind around what just happened. My gaze fell on a package of birthday candles he’d left on the sink and my heart zinged.

He got birthday candles for me.

I slid back under the water. He was making not falling in love with him really difficult. I thought about his face again and a laugh escaped, bubbles rising from my mouth to break the surface. I sat, pushing the hair away from my face as my laughter wound down, bouncing off the walls in the nearly empty room. But slowly, I began to sober. He was sweet, and funny, and crazy hot…and he was going to break my heart. And there didn’t seem to be anything I could do about it.

Give me an irate parent, or a budget cut, or power outage, or…anything, I could steel myself against it and stare it down. Being alone as a child had toughened me and made me fearless in some cases. But when it came to being close to someone? Well, I’d done a darn good job of avoiding that thus far. But with Killian, it was different. He made me want to open myself. To be someone I wasn’t…or maybe finally be someone I was. I wasn’t scared around him, like I was with most other men.

In any case, it wasn’t going to matter soon. My time in Killian’s sunshine was coming to an end. It was only a matter of time. I looked at the tiny white box across the room, and the note, in a distinctive handwriting that seemed to suit him.

I eased the plug free with my toes and sloshed to my feet, reaching for the towel I’d left on the mat. I pushed away the thought of…whatever it was we had, ending. I would enjoy it while I could. Take from the friendship as many happy moments as I could garner. And not think about returning home to an empty house, while he went off with some other woman.

Resolutely, I donned my previous outfit and proceeded to the mall. If I was going down in flames tonight, I’d go down looking the best I could.

Killian

I couldn’t keep my mind on my work. Beer suds reminded me of bath bubbles, and bare skin, and her. And how badly I now wanted her. And how badly I’d messed things up by walking in on her while she was in the nip.

It’d been bucketing down when I came in, and it wasn’t lightening at all. The bar was quiet, with only a few of the regulars, and a handful of guys around the pool table. Quinn sensed my moodiness, asked a couple of questions, but, thankfully, backed off. I was cleaning everything in sight. It helped to distract me.

I could feel it when she walked in the door. The water in her hair sparkled when she stepped into the bar’s light, and I flashed back to her image in the tub, my gut tightening. Jo discovered without an umbrella. It seemed out of character. She caught my eye and smiled tentatively.

I froze, from the tips of me hair to the ends of me toes. She was just such a vision of loveliness. Soft, bouncy hair flecked with jewels of moisture, lush lips, dewy skin. All I could do was stare. I believe my odd behavior caught her off guard because her smile wavered and she looked away. The breaking of our connected gazes reanimated me and I moved toward her. I was at a loss for what to say, so I kept my advance slow, hoping I’d become inspired somewhere along my jaunt to her at the other end of the bar. Quinn greeted her, and she said something back.

She had on a black top that bunched along the sides and had some sort of black embellishments on it, and a short black jacket reminiscent of a biker’s jacket, but with more sophistication. The rest of her, of course, was hidden behind the bar, but she had on big, jangly earrings and a matching necklace dripping from her neck.

I’d reached the end of the bar and she’d finished what she was saying to Quinn and turned to me.

“Hi.”

I forced a response from my mouth. “Hi.” What was wrong with me? “What can I get you?”

“Uhh….” Her eyes flitted around. I was making her nervous, which was not my intention, but I couldn’t shake the stiffness from my actions. “A mineral, I guess. I think I had enough alcohol last night,” she added shyly.

For some reason this loosened me up, and I was able to give her a smile. “You’ve got it.”

I could sense Quinn staring at me as I poured the drink. I looked over and raised my eyebrows at him. He frowned, jerking his head in Jo’s direction. I don’t know what the old man was trying to tell me, but I got the feeling I was being chastised for something. I gave him my own scowl back before dropping my gaze to watch the cup fill, trying to sort through my thoughts and emotions.

I set the drink down in front of Jo, staring at it for a second, my hand still around it, before speaking.

“Listen, I’m—”

“Killian, I want—”

We spoke over each other, then we both stopped. I tilted my head with a smile, and she chuckled.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt you. What did you want to say?”

She brushed her fingers over my hand on the bar. “I wanted to apologize.”

I blinked. “Apologize? You?”

She nodded.

“What in heaven’s name for?”

Lowering her head, she seemed to choose her words as she drummed her fingers lightly on the wood in front of her. Her face wrinkled, and she chuckled. “I’m not sure exactly….” She raised her gaze. “For…embarrassing you?”

“What? No.” I took her hand. “I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. Coming charging in your bathroom like a bull in heat.” Suddenly the metaphor seemed a mite too revealing. “I mean…I should have knocked.”

“Well, you had no idea I was taking a bath.”

I sensed a presence, and out of the corner of my eye caught Quinn leaning in so he could hear our conversation better.

“Should we speak louder, Quinn, so you wouldn’t have to strain yourself earwigging?”

“That would be nice,” he said without a hint of contriteness. He leaned in and put a hand to the side of his mouth as if to block his voice from carrying. “You walked in on the lady in…the buff?”

I turned to him fully, amused despite myself. “Yes. Would you like me to draw you a picture?”

“Well, umm…” he blustered, looking at Josie with a smile. “If you’re not too busy….”

She burst out laughing.

I slapped his hand on the bar. “Dirty old man.”

“Ouch.” He jerked his hand back and sat straighter, lifting his chin and feigning offense. “That stung.”

“Oh, quit your carryin’ on.”

“It stung,” he insisted. Then he winked. “But nothing a pint of the plain won’t cure.”

“Aha.” I grinned at Josie then poured the codger’s drink.

A bit later, although it was still lashing out somethin’ terrible outside, business picked up and the waitress got overwhelmed. I stepped out from behind the bar and cleared a table for her, while indulging myself with a brief gander at Josie. She had on a short red skirt and these sexy, strappy black heels that nearly had me panting at her feet. She was listening to Quinn blather on about something, but excused herself and went to the restroom. I was going to say something to her as she passed, but a voice rang out.

“Killian.”

I spun. “Well, if it ain’t Jonny McKinney. How are ya, Jonny-lad? I haven’t seen you in donkey’s years.”

“Right as rain. And yourself?”

We exchanged pleasantries, but his eyes zeroed in on Jo as she left the restroom and his jaw dropped. To be fair, it was a match for my own.

Who is that sweet bird? What a ride!”

The way he said it filled my mouth with a bitter taste. “Who? That one? Oh.” I wasn’t letting Jonny Good-for-Nothin’ anywhere near my Jo. “You don’t want nothin’ to do with that one, Jonny. I mean, honey is sweet, but you don’t lick it off a briar. You know what I mean?”

I turned and was rattled to find her standing behind me, her eyes wide and mouth open. She spun on her heel and sped across the floor.

Oh. But I have a mouth on me.

“Jo, wait.”

She scooped her jacket from her stool in one swipe, not pausing as she barreled toward the door.

“Jo!”

She was nearly there when I caught her arm. She swung around.

“Jo. I didn’t mean it.”

She shook me off. “You don’t owe me an explanation, Killian,” she stammered. The tears in her eyes smote my heart. She tried to turn away, but I took both arms this time.

“Come on, Jo. Let me explain.”

She slumped as if defeated. I took her coat and purse from her and placed them on the bar.

“I—”

Her head snapped up. “No. You know what? It’s fine. I know I’m not the party girl you’re used to. I’m…boring. Too uptight. A stick in the mud.”

“Hey, now. Jo, stop.”

“No. It’s okay. It’s better I know where I stand than think…something that wasn’t true. I mean. I get it. You’re into…” She waved her hands about. “Sexy, sassy girls who know how to flirt and all that.”

“What?”

“You don’t need anyone like me, and that’s fine. I can respect that. You’re a great guy and I can be prickly and—”

“Jo.”

“No. It’s fine. Really. I—”

She wanted desperately to get away from me.

“Jo—”

“I’m just going to go and—”

“Jo!” I practically yelled, desperation gettin’ the best of me.

She snapped her mouth shut.

“Look at me.”

“No. I—”

I put my hands on the sides of her face and raised it. When I looked into her eyes, I lost all sense of what I wanted to say. “Dance with me.” Those were the words that came out of my mouth. From somewhere.

“Wh-what?”

“Dance with me, Josephine.”

Since I held her face, she couldn’t move her head, but her eyes looked around. “B-but there’s no—” her forehead wrinkled, but she quit fighting me. “There’s no music.”

“Quinn.”

He was on his feet in an instant. “Play something on the juke box, please.”

“Got it.” He rushed across the room.

I bent in closer. “I only told Jonny that, because I didn’t want him pursuing you, because…I like you.” Once the words were out, relief surged through me. “I like you a lot. And I don’t want him, or anyone else, anywhere close to you.”

Manford Mann’s “Quinn the Eskimo” played. I closed my eyes. “Really?”

“What?” Quinn protested. “It’s a good song.”

I sighed. “Teddy?” Teddy McGinley was sitting on the other side of Quinn, at the corner of the bar.

“I’ve got it, Killian.” But when he was about to pass us, he leaned in. “’Ave ya got yourself another quarter? I’ve only the one.”

“Sure, sure. Here’s two. Pay to skip this song.” I fished around in my pocket and reeled them out.

Jo was smiling by this time. I brushed the hair away from her face. “To be honest, I’m quite smitten with you.”

Her smile became broader. “You are?” Her hands came around my waist and I circled her with my arms.

I nodded. “I am.”

“When Irish Eyes Are Smiling” began to blare over the loudspeakers. I laid my forehead on hers. “I’m surrounded by morons.” She laughed. I turned and frowned at Teddy.

“What? It’s lovely.”

“And it’s Irish,” Quinn added.

“But I can’t dance with the girl to it, can I?”

Teddy nodded. “Oh, aye.”

Quinn tipped his chin. “Good point.”

I looked at Josie. “I’ll have to do it myself.” I let her go. “You stay here, got it?”

She nodded, her face glowing. I walked backward, wagging my finger at her. “You’re not going anywhere, are you?”

She pointed to the ground. “Staying right here.”

I reached the juke box and frantically searched for something halfway decent. I put my money in, thankful someone tipped me with all quarters the day before, made my selection, and came walking back to her. It seemed the whole bar was waiting with baited breath to hear what I chose. Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars” began to play as I drew Josephine to me.

Half the people in the bar groaned over the music, half made sounds of approval.

Quinn passed us. “Weren’t any U-2 on there?”

“Come on, now. These’re Irish lads, too.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, returning to his stool.

Josie and I swayed on the dance floor together, just the two of us. And after a bit, when most of the crowd had returned to their drinking, it seemed we were almost alone. She looked at me, her face shining like the waters of the Ring of Kerry on a sunny day. Like in the song, we were trying to forget the world, though the world was pressing in on us on all sides.

I drank in her face. “You’re not mad anymore?” I murmured.

She shook her head.

My heart sighed. “Good.”

She laid her cheek down on my chest and someone gave a whistle of encouragement. I felt her laughing against me, and I laughed with her. When the music slowed down, I looked at her. “I want to kiss you again. Like last night.”

“So that wasn’t a dream?”

“Coulda been. But we were dreaming it together.”

She brought her hands behind my neck and played with my hair as she did the night before, and I lowered my lips to hers. The kiss started soft as heather but went deeper and became hungrier. Her tongue dancing across mine sent a pulse of need spearing through me. My bottom lip traveled over her skin, from chin to her top lip as I tried to take in more of her. A cheer sounded and our chuckling ended a powerful kiss.

My voice was husky. “Want to get out of here?”

Her gaze was still on my lips. She nodded again.

“Dooly?” I called out.

“Get out of here,” he yelled back. “You’re useless to me after that kiss anyway.” Customers chuckled in response.

“Coat?”

He took it from the back bar and tossed it to me as I crossed to the door. Teddy stood on one side of the door with Jo’s purse, Quinn on the other, holding her coat. They handed the items to her with a bow and held the door for us.

“Have a nice evening,” Quinn said, and they tittered. Dolts.

I knew everyone in that bar had an idea where our evening was headed, but I didn’t want to rush Jo. She was a thinker. She’d need to be sure first. Even though the evening was unseasonably mild, the fresh air cooled our skin after being over-warm in the crowded bar.

I helped her into her coat, then leaned in, leaving my hands on her shoulders. “Will you take a walk with me?”

She twisted her head. “I’d love to.”

I came to her side, my arm spanning her shoulders, and stuck the other hand in my pocket. The rain left the pavement shining like a fairy garden. Like the garden in the song they were lying in.

As if reading my mind, she chimed in with, “I love that song, by the way. ‘Chasing Cars.’ It’s very romantic.”

I grinned. “Exactly why I chose it.”

“Hmm.”

We strolled along. Although being a small neighborhood bar made Paddy’s a bit like the pubs back home, I was never thankful for that until now. Were it on some busy thoroughfare, the walk wouldn’t have been as nice. In fact, I probably wouldn’t have suggested it at all. As it was, the area we passed through wasn’t very scenic. Ranch houses or tiny Cape Cods nestled together, joined by lawns sloping from the sidewalk. But the streets were tree-lined and it was quiet. The perfect atmosphere to talk.

“This is nice,” she commented.

I looked around again. “Yeah.” I was hit by a wave of melancholy. “I wish I could take you on a walk through Cork, though.”

She thought about that. “What’s it like?”

“Oh, it’s a big city, like Lincoln. But I’d walk you down by the River Lee, passed brightly painted storefronts and pubs.” We separated to avoid walking through a puddle together. “I’d hold your hand.” I grasped it on the other side of the puddle. “It would probably be wet there, too. It’s always raining in Ireland. That’s why it’s so green.”

She was watching my face. “You miss it, don’t you?”

I sighed. “I haven’t thought about it much but…yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Did you know anyone when you came here?”

“Not a soul besides my uncle.”

“You’ve made up for lost time, then.” She grinned.

“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry about that. There’s not much in the way of privacy at Paddy’s.”

“No. That’s what I love about it.” She stared off in front of us, thinking about it. “It’s almost like being with family. Or what I imagine family would feel like, if it were a normal family.” She sounded wistful. On impulse, I stopped and turned to her, taking her face in my hands again and kissing her, long and deep.

“What was that for?” The breathy way she said it was a huge turn-on.

Because I love you.

But it was too early for that. I shrugged. “I just wanted to.” I put both hands in my pockets, there was still a slight nip in the air, and offered her my arm. She slipped her arm through mine and we took up our ambling again. We didn’t speak while we passed several houses. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, like it might have been. I knew she was a thinker, and so would turn things over in her mind like tilling the soil. And I was simply content to be with her. It was something I’d never experienced with any woman before. Nor man, nor beast.

“Are you cold?”

She looked at me, then gave me a huge smile. “Not at all.” Seconds later, I caught her yawning.

“I forgot how late you were out last night. Let’s get you back home.”

“I’m sorry. And I do work tomorrow.”

“Of course.” We quickened the pace a bit on the way back.

When we got to her car she spun around. “This was a really nice evening. The nicest I’ve had in a long time.”

“It was for me, too.” I rubbed her arms. We stared into each other’s faces. I glided my hand behind her neck, moving some hair back over her shoulder, and brought the other hand to her hip. Lifting her hair, and cradling her neck I kissed her. I leaned into her, pressing her against her car. The roar of the bar was let lose when a couple left, so we stopped kissing, but our bodies still moved against each other.

“I don’t want to leave you,” she murmured.

“And I don’t want you to leave.” I brushed a thumb over her lips, swollen from our kissing and she closed her eyes on a sigh. Neither of us spoke for several seconds. “I could drive you—”

“Yes,” she said before I could even finish the thought. “But this time we take your car and I’ll Uber back.”

I was going to object, but eyed my car across the lot. “Okay.”

She turned around. “Which one is yours?”

“Uhh…the gray one. There, under the light.”

“Really?” It was a Mazda convertible with a black roof. We walked that way.

“I guess I forgot to mention I would also take my car when fleeing a burning building, along with me da’s watch, runners, and the telly.”

“I guess,” she said, clearly impressed.

Pride surged in me. I unlocked and opened the door for her, then walked around to the driver’s side, grinning. Sliding behind the wheel, I doffed my cap from the dash. It was an old tweed hat that belonged to my grandfather at one point.

“Me driving cap.”

“Mmm. Very nice.”

I switched on the ignition and the engine came to life.

“Ready?”

She nodded, her eyes sparkling.

“Let’s get out of here.”