My parents told me I couldn’t hang around with certain kids. I think I should be able to choose my own friends, so I’ve been lying and sneaking out. Now I feel guilty every time I try to pray. Why is everything so confusing? What should I do?
Alex
Dear Alex,
You have two separate problems here. Your first problem is you felt your parents were too controlling of your choice of friends. Your second problem is you chose to solve this problem by lying to your parents and being disobedient. This is sinning against your parents who God told you to honor.
You mentioned feeling guilty when you pray. God expects you to obey your parents, even when you don’t want to in the worst way. That’s one reason you’re feeling guilty. Lying and disobedience are sins in God’s eyes. Sin takes us out of fellowship with God. King Solomon understood it was necessary for people to stop disobeying God in order to receive God’s blessings (2 Chronicles 6:26–27).
Seek forgiveness and do what’s right. Perhaps if your parents can get to know your friends, they’ll even lift their restrictions. Feeling better will be a bonus.
Jordan
Q: How many animals did Solomon sacrifice to God at the dedication of the temple?
BONUS: How did God reveal his presence in the temple?
Some prayers are always answered with an enthusiastic “Yes!” God promises: “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin.” What a great promise for those times when guilt gets you down. You feel ashamed. Even dirty. You wonder how you’ll ever be able to face yourself or God. And then you hear the promise: “Pray. Seek my face. Turn from your wicked ways.” And you remember God always answers “Yes!” to prayers for forgiveness. He has promised, “I will hear and will forgive.”
Q: What animals did Solomon’s trading ships bring back to Jerusalem?
BONUS: How many horses did Solomon own?
Why are my parents always saying, “Don’t do this. Don’t do that?” Why can’t I just live my life and find out things for myself?
Elizabeth
Dear Elizabeth,
Let’s pretend two of your friends invited you to go on a family vacation with them. You wanted to go to both places but didn’t know which place was better. Your mom said go to place B, and somebody you know at school said she would go to place A. So you go to place A. You find out this island has no air conditioning and lots of bugs. When you get home you see photos of location B where your other friend stayed. You go and tell your mom what you learned and she says, “I know, I’ve been to both places.”
You could have had the time of your life. Instead you’re covered with bug bites and came home sick. But you listened to your friend and not your parents who really knew something.
A young king in Israel named Rehoboam felt the same as you. He sought the advice of those who had served his father and had much experience and wisdom. But then he talked to his friends and decided to take their advice instead. Disaster followed (2 Chronicles 10:16–19).
Your parents can help you make better choices that will help make life easier and happier. I know the world has changed since they were your age, but many things are still the same. Your parents know a lot more than you think. They really are on your side. Of course you can choose to learn every lesson the hard way. But why would you want to?
Jordan
Do you ever feel the odds are stacked against you? The guys in the locker room mock you because you don’t join in the sex talk? Everyone in your science class laughs at you when you say you believe in creation? You face kids in a gang when you get on the bus? How do you keep your courage up? When one king of Judah was forced to face an army twice as big as his (2 Chronicles 13:3), he was absolutely confident. He cried out, “The LORD is our God . . . God is with us” (1 Chronicles 13:10–12). Keep on being faithful to the Lord and have courage. The odds may seem to be against you, but one person plus God is a majority!
It seems like I have to work so much harder at things than other people I know. I get good grades (not all A’s) but spend twice as long on my homework as other kids. I tried out for cheerleading and didn’t make the final cut. What’s the point in trying this hard when I can’t get ahead?
Jenny
Dear Jenny,
Don’t give up! Think of all the practice that goes into becoming an Olympic athlete. In the long run, you’ll be prepared for life. For some people many things come easily. They never learn to work through the hard things. When they get into the real world, they don’t know how to keep working at something when things don’t go as planned.
“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded” (2 Chronicles 15:7). This passage gives you a great promise. You can depend on it every day as life’s discouragements come your way. The world’s values are so different from yours. Do you ever feel like you’re swimming against the current? Like you’re going the wrong way on a one-way street? (Or perhaps you’re the one going the right way!) It’s good to remember that your work will be rewarded by God if you stay strong and don’t give up.
How great of God to include these encouraging words for us in the Bible.
Jordan
Some people think going to a doctor shows a lack of faith. They think someone who’s sick should just pray. They point to 2 Chronicles 16:12 and say that if Asa had relied only on God he would have been healed for sure. Of course, the Bible actually says that Asa was wrong to rely only on doctors and not to ask for God’s help.
Jesus’ miracles show that God can heal even the most terrible sicknesses. Many Christians will tell you that God answered their prayers for healing. But most of them will also tell you that they followed the doctors’ orders and expected God to use the knowledge of the doctors to make them well. (Who do you suppose gave them that knowledge in the first place?)
It’s always important to rely on the Lord. But that doesn’t mean you can’t seek and find help from doctors.
Q: Who was the only queen to rule Judah without a king?
BONUS: How did she become sole ruler?
I told our school counselor that my parents drink way too much alcohol and then they start yelling and they get mean. She has met my parents at school. She told me they are lovely people and thought I was just mad at them. She didn’t believe a word I said. How can I ever get help?
Meghan
Dear Meghan,
Would you believe that keeping children safe has been a difficult thing for thousands of years? There was a young boy named Joash in the Bible who found himself in a very dangerous home. His father, the king, had died and Joash’s grandmother decided that she would like to be queen. All that stood in her way was her grandchildren. So she decided to kill them. Fortunately, Joash had an aunt named Jehosheba who rescued Joash and hid him in the temple for six years (2 Chronicles 22).
Just as Joash was protected, there must be some places of safety for you. If the person you told didn’t believe you, think of another trustworthy and responsible adult who will. Do you have an aunt or grandmother who might be able to help? Do you have a good friend whose parents would be willing to offer you a safe place when you need it? If you can go to your room and play some Christian music with your headphones on, while not a perfect solution, it would at least get you away from something bad and give you something good to replace it.
Don’t give up trying to find a safe place. You deserve it. And pray for yourself and your parents.
Jordan
You look so great today!” Words like that can make you feel good—that is, until the person who said them adds, “Can you loan me $20?” Then you realize the compliment was only flattery. Your friend was buttering you up. Some people are easily swayed by flattery. King Joash was. After the death of his adviser, Judah’s officials came and “paid homage to” (meaning “flattered”) the king. And Joash let his people persuade him to serve pagan gods. Watch out when insincere people rush up to compliment you. That’s flattery. You don’t have to pay flatterers back by doing what they want.
Sometimes even Christians can become proud. Of good grades. Of popularity. Of athletic ability. Want to know if you are proud? You can recognize pride by the feeling that you don’t have to live by normal rules. You’re so beautiful you don’t have to be nice to “ugly” people. You’re so popular you don’t talk to kids who are “out” socially. King Uzziah became so rich and powerful that he didn’t think he had to live by the rules either. He found out the hard way that pride does go before a painful fall (Proverbs 16:18). Watch out for pride. It hurts others first. Then it really hurts—you.
Q: What festival did Old Testament revivals begin with?
BONUS: What was the festival about?
You don’t have to be an adult for God to use you. Six-year-old Sarah explained to her cousin that “Jesus loves you.” And it was a 12-year-old who was so moved by the plight of the homeless that he launched a winter crusade to supply street people with blankets. At age 16 young King Josiah “began to seek the God of his father,” and before he was 21 he led his nation in a great religious revival. Seek God now, and look for ways to serve him. God uses faithful followers of any age.
Second Chronicles 35 tells a story of a very special Passover in Israel. What was Passover anyway, and why was it important? When God’s angel killed the firstborn sons of the Egyptians, the angel “passed over” the homes of God’s people (Exodus 12:13). Passover was a celebration of that event.
On the first Passover the blood of a lamb was used to tell the angel that the people who lived there were God’s own. The New Testament calls Jesus your “Passover lamb” (1 Corinthians 5:7). Because Jesus shed his blood, you are now God’s own.
Did you know that it was the very week of Passover that Jesus was crucified? So every Easter Christians have their own special Passover. Easter can remind you of Jesus, your Passover lamb, and of God’s promise that through Jesus you have everlasting life.
2 Chronicles
Friends.
This book tells the story of the southern kingdom of Judah, from Solomon to the Babylonian captivity. It tells about bad kings and good kings. When the nation’s rulers and God’s people were faithful to God, he blessed them.