DOMESTICS.

Hints on the Management of Domestics, &c.

Some families are always changing their domestics, and weary their friends with complaints of those they have, and inquiries for others.

Deliberate before you make a change; if servants are honest, speak the truth, and have an obliging disposition, it is better to bear with a few defects, than to discharge them; these are qualifications for the foundation of a good servant; and some of the most valuable I have had, were such as could hardly be put up with at first. By being patient, and speaking to them in a kind manner, they become attached and fearful of doing any thing to offend.

When they break any thing, or an accident occurs, accustom them to inform you of it immediately. Few mistresses, of well regulated minds, will be offended when openly told of accidents; but if they are left to be found out, you always feel more disposed to blame and reprove them. By speaking to them in a mild and forgiving manner, careless servants will become more careful.

A considerate mistress may, without loss of dignity, make them feel that she regards it as her duty to be their friend, and that she feels herself under an obligation to advise them in difficulties and promote their comfort.

We should reflect that theirs is a life of servitude, and if they over-exert themselves, or are too much exposed in early life, it will bring on disease that will shorten their days, or render old age a burden.

Some young persons are too indolent to wait on themselves, and ring for the servants on the most trifling occasions; when if they were accustomed to perform these little offices, their health would be much better, and we should not hear of so many complaints, the result of want of exercise. All female servants should have time to attend to their clothing; many have to work so hard through the day that their only leisure is at night, and then they hurry over their things in a careless manner.

Where your circumstances permit, a good man-servant is a valuable acquisition; and they are sometimes more easily governed than females.

If mistresses were better informed, they would not complain so much of the ignorance and awkwardness of their domestics. Always give them their orders in time. If a new dish is to be cooked, superintend its preparation yourself.

If you are capable of directing, a cook will soon learn to do without your constant attention.

If they are slow in their movements, insist on their beginning early to prepare a meal, so that there will be time sufficient for every thing to be done properly.

If you expect company, have every thing prepared, that can be done with safety, the day previous. In summer there are but few things that can be done without risk of spoiling: a ham or tongue may he washed ready to boil; castors and salt-stands put in order, and pastry or dessert prepared, that will not spoil by being kept a day.

In winter, many things can be kept for days in a state of preparation for cooking; and it greatly assists the work of the family, to have every thing done beforehand.

Do with as few domestics as possible; assist with the work yourself, rather than keep one too many. Those that take orphan children to bring up, are often rewarded for their trouble; as sometimes a girl of fifteen will be more useful than one much older: and where a family is small it does very well, but in large families, a little girl is so often called from her work, that it has a tendency to unsettle and make her careless.

Never allow your children to call on or interrupt servants when at their work or meals, to do any thing which a child could do for itself; children that treat domestics with respect, will generally find them willing to render any assistance in their power. I have known a few housekeepers, who have kept the same servants for years, who have assisted in rearing the children, until they almost viewed them as their own, and these were not faultless. If they had been discharged for trifles, they might have wandered, from one family to another, without being attached to any, until they became so indifferent, as not to be worthy of employ, but by the kindness and patience of their employer, they became so grateful and attached, as to be a treasure to her family. When they become weary of such constant servitude, would it not be better, instead of discharging, to give them time for rest and recreation in visiting their friends? I have known them to return, renewed in health and spirits.

Encourage them to lay by as much of their wages as they can possibly spare, in such institutions as are thought the most safe, that they may have something to look to in case of sickness, or any event which would require its use.

Promote their reading in such books as are suited to their capacities; they sometimes have a little leisure, that could be well filled up in this way. I have found it to increase the happiness of those under my care, to encourage a fondness for reading, and improving their minds; it tends to keep them from unprofitable company, and too much visiting, to which so many are addicted.

Young girls should make and mend their own clothes, and keep them in good order, and they should be taught to knit. The material of which stockings are composed costs but little, and they wear much better than those that are bought. Knitting fills up leisure moments, and promotes industrious habits; and when age comes on, they will have a resource, although it appears so simple, yet if it is not learned while young it is hard to acquire when old.

When servants are guilty of faults that cannot be looked over, instead of publicly reproving them, take an opportunity when alone, and talk coolly; tell them of your sorrow at being obliged to notice their conduct, encourage them to pursue a different course, and that you will forgive them if they will strive to do better. I have known them much improved by this mode of treatment.

By inspecting every department, not only will waste be prevented, but dishonesty. In cities many persons find it necessary to lock up nearly every thing; and it is a lamentable state of things that so few are to be trusted.

Sometimes treating servants with confidence will have a good effect; but let them be aware that you have a knowledge of every thing that is going on.

Some young persons are completely at the mercy of their domestics. I have known great uneasiness to be experienced, and much loss; but by showing a little moral courage, and discharging those that are irreclaimable, an ascendancy was gained. Never suffer them to treat you with disrespect or impertinence. If it is known that they will be discharged for these faults, they will be on their guard.

If you have taken a boy or girl, to bring up as a domestic, endeavour to teach them, at least to spell and read; they are sometimes very fond of their books, and if you once get them to reading, it will become to them a favorite evening amusement; I have known them take up their books on every occasion of leisure, I have seen boys that worked hard through the day, spend all the evening with their books, slate, and occasionally a little writing. Sometimes, I have in the evening felt fatigued and listless, and would much rather read, and amuse myself, than go out to teach two or three in the kitchen; but in attending to this, (which I consider a duty,) have felt a sweet reward--indeed, their grateful thanks expressed by words, have encouraged me to keep on. I have thought a little instruction in this way, arouses their faculties, and tends to make them more industrious. When I have been prevented from teaching them for some time, by indisposition, or other causes, I have observed they were not so cheerful in the performance of their work. If they are reading any thing they do not fully understand, take a little time to explain it to them. It will be, my young friends, like sowing the good seed, and you, as well as they, will receive the reward.

I wish to encourage you in the most affectionate manner to attend to this duty; you will find it will strengthen you in the performance of others. "The more we exert our faculties, the more we can accomplish. He that does nothing, renders himself incapable of doing any thing. While we are executing one work, we are preparing ourselves to undertake another."

REMARKS.

Remarks on Carving, &c.

I do not think it necessary to say much on the subject of carving, as those who are accustomed to sit at a well ordered table, and who observe the manner of the host and hostess, can soon acquire the art, both of carving and helping with ease. And when placed at the head of their own table, the knowledge thus gained will be found a great assistance.

The proper time for children to acquire good habits at meals, is not when there is company; it should be an every day lesson. As when parents are engaged with their friends or guests, they have no time to devote to the manners of their children, and to reprove them at table is very unpleasant, as well as mortifying.

Young children will soon acquire the manner of sitting quietly till they are helped, if they are made to understand that they will not be permitted to eat with their parents and friends, unless they behave with propriety.

I have thought it a great assistance to the good order of a large family, for every member to be punctual in their attendance at meals, and all to sit down together, with a short pause before the carving and helping commences. In those moments of quiet, the heart is sometimes awakened to a feeling of gratitude to the Almighty dispenser of our blessings.

At the table, different members of the family meet; and where affection and kindness, those aids to true politeness, preside, it is truly a delightful treat to be the guest of such a family.

Every symptom of selfishness should be discouraged, for if suffered to take root in a child, it lays the foundation of much that is disagreeable to themselves and others.

Inculcate this excellent rule, "of doing unto others, what you wish others to do unto you," and always preferring others to yourself.

It is the custom in some well regulated families, to permit the younger members, (as they arrive at a suitable age,) to take turns in presiding, not only at breakfast and tea, but at the dinner table. I have known quite young girls that had been taught in this way, carve a fowl or joint of meat with ease and grace. In helping, they should be taught not to over-load the plate, as it takes away the appetite of some persons to be helped too largely.

The gravy should be stirred so that all may be helped alike, and a small quantity put on the meat or fowl, to which it belongs, and not on vegetables unless it is particularly desired.

If there should be a rare dish on the table, it is best to hand it round and let every one help himself, after it has been nicely cut up. Ham is much nicer to be cut in very thin slices. So is salt beef and tongue.

Young housekeepers in selecting their dishes for dinner, (if they have not an experienced cook,) should avoid those that are difficult to prepare. Never try a new dish when you expect company. Your guests will be more gratified with a neat and moderate table, with a few plain and well cooked dishes, accompanied with the smiling countenance of the hostess, than with a great variety of ill cooked and badly arranged viands.

Economy the Source of Charity.

If your circumstances will not admit of giving away much, you can, by economy, give a little, and a blessing will attend it. There are few of the very poor, that know how to repair old clothing to advantage; a garment will be of much more service, that is well mended before it is given to them.

It has been remarked, that the poor are ungrateful, and forget the favors conferred upon them.

I have seldom found them deficient in this respect; and when they are, if we would reflect, that if some of us received no more than we deserve, we should be but poorly off.

We know in our own families, how acceptable is a nice present of something that a sick member can eat; and it is sometimes the means of restoring the appetite, when any thing cooked in the house is rejected. The feeling of love with which it is presented, is as a cordial to a sick person.

How much more acceptable will something nourishing be to one oppressed with poverty, as well as sickness.

When the rich are diseased, the physician often finds it necessary to enjoin strict abstinence; but very different is it with the poor, who frequently suffer for want of nourishment.

When the mother of a poor family is ill, how greatly are her sufferings augmented by the knowledge that her children are deprived of her services; and how acceptable to such a family would be a loaf of bread, or a large bowl of soup, which could be made of materials that would hardly be missed.

Dried beans or peas, and onions, are a cheap and valuable addition to soup; also cold vegetables. The liquor that fresh meat is boiled in, should be carefully saved for that purpose, if there are those near you that need it.

It may seem at first troublesome to a young housekeeper, to take the necessary care to save for the poor. It is certainly much easier to let the cook have her own way, and waste or not, as she pleases; but for your encouragement my young friends, permit me to say, you will be sweetly rewarded for your attention to them.

One eminent for his charities, near the close of life, made this remark: "What I spent I lost, but what I gave away remains with me."

To Encourage Children in Acts of Kindness to the Aged and Afflicted.

Young children may early be taught to administer to the wants of the aged and infirm.

Some mothers are in the practice of giving a small sum of money to their children, as a reward for some little service or piece of work that they have done. The money thus obtained, to be laid out for a sick or old poor person. This method has an excellent effect on the minds of children; it incites them to industry, teaches self-denial, and the feelings of love and charity which are thus early instilled into their tender minds, make a lasting impression.

If they spent their little fund in trifles for their own use, they would acquire a habit of selfishness; which, when once formed, it is most difficult to eradicate. I have remarked the pleasure with which children will relate the incidents of a visit, which they have been permitted to make to a poor family; and it is a refreshment to persons advanced in life, to see a young family thus trained.

As soon as little girls can sew, they should be encouraged to make garments for the poor, or repair their own old ones as a present to a child of their own size, or make patchwork out of old dresses for a bed covering for poor people. Their being permitted to do these things, should be as a reward for good behavior and attention to their lessons or other duties.

When they are old enough to make a loaf of bread, a pie, or a little plain cake, allow them to do it, and take as a present to, or make broth or panada for a sick person. This teaches them to prepare these things while young, and may be useful to them in after life.

How cheering it must be to the aged or afflicted, to see smiling young faces enter their dwellings, bearing their little offerings of food or clothing, the work of their own hands.

Be encouraged my dear young mothers; if you thus train your children to works of charity, you will be doubly blessed.

Early Rising Promotes Punctuality.

It is an old and true saying, "that if you waste an hour in the morning, it is seldom recovered all that day." This dispirits you, and the next day there is still something left undone.

A late riser is rarely punctual in her engagements, and more of the happiness of married life depends on forming a habit of strict punctuality, than young persons are generally aware of.

If you are distressed at having acquired habits of late rising, and want of punctuality, remember by perseverance, they can be overcome. Fix an hour for rising, and let nothing but illness prevent your being up at that time. While forming this useful habit, you should retire to rest early.

Many things can be better attended to at an early, than a late hour in the morning.

Where families rise before the sun, the day seems much longer; all the active employments of the early riser are accomplished before her later neighbors have finished their breakfast.

The duties of the bath and toilet being performed, her chamber well aired and arranged--and her parlor in order, she is ready for the more quiet employments of reading and sewing.

In a well regulated household, servants perform their duties with life and energy. Determine on an hour for your meals, and if all the members of the family adhere to it, scrupulous exactness will soon be established.

Hints to Young Wives.

The authoress is well aware of the difficulties which surround a young wife on her first setting out, particularly if situated at a distance from the kind mother who has hitherto directed her, with servants who watch every movement, and who will soon discover whether the new mistress is qualified for the task she has undertaken.

Accustom yourself to rise early; fix a certain hour, and let nothing but indisposition prevent your being up at the appointed time. By this means your affairs will all be arranged in good season, and you will have time for recreation, in walking, riding, or in reading such authors as will tend to strengthen and improve your mind.

Young persons removed from large families often suffer greatly from loneliness, whereas, if they were occupied with household affairs, they would not feel so severely the absence of their husbands while attending to business.

Be punctual to the hour that has been fixed on for your meals, and let good order prevail in every department of which you have the command. A mistress of a family is much happier, who knows how every thing is going on from the garret to the cellar. By inspecting every thing you soon become interested, and we all know when that is the case, the most difficult pursuits become easy and pleasant.

And with what pleasure will a young wife welcome her husband to his meals, when her conscience assures her that she has done her best, and that nothing is neglected; and how will it lighten his labors to reflect, when absent, that the partner he has chosen, is performing her duty at home.

I am fully persuaded that the formation of domestic happiness, is generally laid the first year of marriage: therefore, my young friends, act well your part; if you desire to be treated with confidence you must merit it. If you keep an exact account of all your expenses, there will be less danger of living beyond your income, of which there have been so many lamentable instances.

Never buy any thing because it is recommended as being cheap; many cheap things amount in time to a large sum. In selecting furniture, let utility, not fashion, govern your choice; some young persons furnish their parlors so extravagantly, that necessary and useful articles are neglected, for want of means to purchase them. Be persuaded that happiness does not consist so much in having splendid furniture, as in attending to the every day comforts of those around you. If you marry without the useful knowledge necessary for governing your family, lose no time in acquiring it.

There is a time when most young girls show a fondness for domestic affairs before they are old enough to go into company, when it would be an agreeable change to be absent from school and assisting their mothers; the knowledge thus acquired would never be lost.

Many a young man who commenced with fair prospects, has been ruined through his wife's ignorance of domestic duties, and she has suffered from the consequent diminution of his esteem and love.

I once knew a lovely and accomplished young lady, accustomed to every indulgence, who, on her marriage, removed several hundred miles from her parents, to reside in the country, where servants were difficult to procure. This delicate and sensitive young creature was much distressed by her ignorance of almost every thing connected with housekeeping; and after suffering repeated mortifications, concluded to learn to do the work herself; and when this dearly bought knowledge was acquired, she was able to teach her ignorant servants; and resolved, if ever she had daughters, to use every means in her power to teach them.

When a prudent wife is made acquainted with the circumstances of her husband, she will endeavor strictly to keep within their bounds; always remembering that losses and events, over which he has no control, may occur and greatly reduce his income. And how will it assist her to bear a reverse of fortune, if she has acted with discretion; it will strengthen the wife to encourage and cheer her partner, and enable him to struggle through difficulties which were thought insurmountable. Happiness will not forsake such a family though they lose almost every thing, the peace which is the result of a good conscience will remain; this will strengthen them to begin anew, and the Divine blessing will attend such efforts.

A few Remarks to Encourage Young Housekeepers in their First Attempts.

As bread is the most important article of food, one of your first attempts should be to make a few loaves of good bread and rolls, of the most simple kind. Bread rolls are very easily made. If you succeed tolerably, it will encourage you to try again. When you make cakes, begin with the simple kinds; plain jumbles or cakes that you can roll out, or crisp ginger-bread. Sponge cake is easier than those that have butter in them; I have known young persons succeed very well with it. Bread rusk is also easily made, or a few plain pies. Do not trust the baking to an ignorant person, but superintend it yourself. Sometimes baking in a stove, is protracted by the dampness of the wood. Before you bake, have dry wood prepared. Watch the time; it is a good plan to have a clock near the kitchen. Do not have too many things on hand at once; but perfect yourself in the knowledge of a few important dishes. If you make good yeast you will be more certain of good bread, light cakes and rolls. To cook a steak nicely, is also important; and with a dish of potatoes well cooked, a dish of cold slaw and an apple pie, or a little stewed fruit, will make a good plain dinner.

When your family is small, you can have something nice every day, without cooking much. Veal cutlets, and mutton chops, are easy to cook, and may be prepared in a short time. If you have a fowl, and boil it, you can save the soup, and warm it over for the next day. A cold roast fowl may be hashed. On days that you have cold meat, a batter pudding, or plain rice pudding, is easily prepared.

If you wish to have an early breakfast, make every preparation that you can, over night; set the table, have the relish cut, ready to cook, or to warm over--and cold bread may be sliced, and wrapped in a cloth to keep it moist. Coffee should be ground, and dry fuel, and water at hand. With these preparations, breakfast may be ready in half an hour from the time the fire is made. If you have warm corn bread, or rolls, it will require more time; but if you have them made up over night, and put in a cool place, they will not sour, and can soon be baked. Maryland biscuit are very convenient, as they are always ready, and will keep good a week. I have found it a great advantage to set the table over night, particularly if you have a separate room to eat in; although it takes but a short time, every minute is important in the morning.

Where the mistress washes the breakfast things, and puts them in their proper places, and counts the spoons, and other articles, she can see when any thing is missing. A mop is useful for glass and china; keep a pan, or a small tub, for the purpose of holding the water, which should not be too hot. If tea things are put in very hot water, it will be apt to crack them or they will look smeared. Put a little soap in the water, wash the glass first, then the silver, then the cups and saucers, and lastly, the plates and knives and forks. If spoons have been used with eggs, put them to soak immediately, to prevent their turning dark. Have a common waiter for the pan to stand in and on it drain your tea things. Spoons when used with care, require polishing but seldom, as it wears the silver away. Dinner dishes should be washed first in moderately warm water and soap, rinsed in hot water, and drained before wiping. Put every thing in its proper place, and inspect your pantry and cellar frequently. Sometimes things are forgotten, for want of attention, until they are spoiled. Air the cellar frequently; do not let refuse vegetables accumulate, or any thing that would be likely to cause sickness.

You should provide coarse towels of different kinds, for china and glass, and for the dinner dishes, also knife cloths, have them marked and kept in their proper places. Some persons have their towels washed out every day, but it is better to save them for the weekly wash. If towels are thrown aside damp, they are liable to mildew. You should keep dusters of several kinds. Old silk handkerchiefs, are best for highly polished furniture, or an old barege veil answers a good purpose. For common purposes, a square of coarse muslin, or check is suitable. You should keep one floor cloth for chambers, and one for the kitchen. Keep brooms for different purposes; always use a soft one for carpets, as soon as they wear stiff, they will do for the kitchen, or pavements. Pouring a little hot water on a broom, softens it for carpets. You may save tea leaves, to sprinkle over your carpet, when you give a thorough sweeping, this will brighten it, and occasionally to wipe it over, with a cloth, that has been wrung out of hot water cleanses it, of course, this is only required for carpets in constant use.

It is of great importance to health, that sleeping apartments should be well aired and swept. If you sleep in an apartment, where there has been fire during the day, it should be well aired before going to bed, or if the room is close, have a little air admitted, so as not to blow on persons that are asleep. A window that will lower from the top is an advantage. Beds should be well aired before they are made, take the clothes off, and leave them at least an hour. In pleasant weather, you may keep chamber windows hoisted, for several hours, and even in cold weather, the windows may be kept up a short time, and if on any occasion, you may be obliged to have the beds made without airing, turn the clothes half way down, and leave them for several hours. Some persons have cheap calico covers, to spread over beds, while the room is swept, this is a good plan, on account of the dust. Bolster and pillow tucks wear better, if you have a check case basted on, this should be changed, washed and starched occasionally. It is a good plan also to have check covers for matresses and feather beds, but the covers should not be kept on beds that are not in use, lest they should be liable to moth. In winter a blanket should be put next a bed that is not often slept in, or for a delicate person, and be particularly careful, that sheets are dry before they are put away.

In summer it is most healthy to have your chamber floor bare, and have it washed occasionally. It is important to examine your clothes, after they come from the wash, and see that they are perfectly dry before they are put away.

CULTIVATION OF FLOWERS.

A few flowers and plants, when properly taken care of, are ornamental to the windows of a parlor, or sitting room; and will repay the care that is bestowed on them. Begin with a few that are easy to cultivate, and you will probably succeed. Persons that are fond of flowers, and have collected a number, are generally willing to give their young friends a few plants; and where we succeed in raising a fine plant from a slip, or cutting, we value it more than one that has been purchased at a green-house. Geraniums, cactus', wax plants, cape and catalonian jessamines, and some others, are easily cultivated in a parlor. Roses, camelias, and azaleas bloom best in a moderate temperature, as the heat of a parlor (unless very large) dries the buds, and prevents their coming to perfection. I have known these to bloom beautifully in a room that was very slightly heated--either over one in which there was fire, or in an apartment next a stove room. If the weather is very cold, they should be removed to a warmer room, until it moderates. The windows that are open to the south are best. When the blossoms have matured, you can bring them to the parlor; but if there is much heat, they will not remain perfect so long as in a moderate room.

Roses are sometimes troubled with insects, which should be brushed off with a feather, and the plants washed with a decoction of tobacco, (not too strong,) they will not bloom when thus infested. There is another insect that fastens itself to the bark of lemon trees, and other plants; frequent washing with soap suds and brushing the sterns, removes it, and some times wash the leaves with a sponge, when the weather is too cold to put them out of doors. Setting them out in a warm rain, or watering them well all over the foliage, is very reviving to plants. Be careful to have pieces of old broken earthen-ware at the bottom of each pot, to drain them, or the plants will not thrive. The earth should be sometimes removed, and an occasional re-potting, is an advantage; being careful not to disturb the roots. A mixture of charcoal and sand, and rich earth of more than one kind is thought best. Earth fresh from the woods is good for pot-plants, as well as borders, but should always be mixed with a stronger soil. Roses that are planted round a house, should have a deep and rich soil made for them, and they will then bloom beautifully all the season.

Pot plants should in summer be placed in a situation where they wilt not be exposed to intense heat. Some persons place their pots in the earth on the north side of the house; others keep them in a porch where they can get some sun. They require much more water in summer. The wax plant blooms beautifully in summer, and should be kept in a sheltered situation, not exposed to the wind; it should have a strong frame of wood and wire to run on, well secured in a tub or box. Hyacinths and crocuses should be planted in pots, boxes, or small tubs, in rich earth, in October or November; a small painted tub is very suitable, and will hold a dozen hyacinths, and as many crocus roots. The most beautiful I ever saw in a window, were planted in this way, by keeping some in the sun, and others in the shade you can have a succession of blooms, they are also pretty in root glasses, but this plan will exhaust the roots. After blooming in the house, they should be planted in the garden. The same roots will not answer the next year for parlor culture, they increase very fast in the garden by proper care.

There is something refining to the mind in the cultivation of flowers, either in a garden or in pots. Many hours that would be weary or lonely, are thus pleasantly occupied, and the mind refreshed.

I now take leave of the reader, with a sincere desire, that these remarks may be of use, and that the receipts which I have been at some pains in compiling and arranging, may be acceptable.