Chapter 14

Nate took CeCe down to the hospital cafeteria for breakfast after her grandfather had been situated in his room and she'd had a chance to sit with him. They didn't linger over their food and were soon back upstairs again. Nate sat with her parents while CeCe called to check on B.B. and David.

"B.B. says David's a little anxious I wasn't there when he woke up," she told them after her call, "so I think I need to go and get him settled."

Nate stood at those words, prepared to go with her. Her mother's words stopped him. "Why don't I go with you, CeCe? I want to see my grandson." She turned to her husband. "You'll be all right, won't you, Kurt?"

Seated comfortably with his legs crossed at the knees, Mr. Williams waved off his wife's concern. "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." To his daughter, he added, "Why don't you leave the young fellow here with me? There are some things we need to discuss."

"Daddy—"

"Kurt—"

Both women spoke at the same time. Their chastising tone almost made Nate laugh. It was apparent they were worried about what Mr. Williams would say to him.

Nate placed a hand on CeCe's shoulder. "I'll be fine," he said. "Unless you need me, I'll stay here with your father. Will you be OK driving to the hotel?"

CeCe nodded, but he could tell she was still uneasy leaving him with her father.

"He doesn't look like he'll bite," Nate whispered in a blatant effort to tease her out of her concern.

"Looks can be deceiving," she whispered back. She glanced at her father and then at her mother and Nate. She sighed. "All right," she said in a voice loud enough for them all to hear. "But you—," she said, pointing a finger at Nate—"have to escort us to the car."

"Yes, ma'am," Nate said, causing her parents to chuckle and CeCe to groan.

After he'd seen the two women safely to the car, Nate headed back upstairs to CeCe's father. The older man was still seated in the waiting room.

As soon as Nate sat down, Mr. Williams asked, "How long have you known my girl?"

Here it comes, Nate thought. Give me wisdom, Lord. I don't know exactly what CeCe's relationship is with her parents, but this man is her father and I want his respect and his blessing. "Almost five months."

Mr. Williams nodded, as if considering that length of time. "Not very long, yet you say you love her."

"With all my heart. I want to marry her, and I'd like your blessing."

"What about the boy?" The question was asked casually enough, but the tight expression on Mr. Williams's face made clear its importance.

Nate cleared his throat and prepared to show Mr. Williams his heart. He didn't want CeCe's parents to have any doubts about his feelings for her and David. "I love David, too. I haven't talked to CeCe about it yet, but I hope she'll grant me the privilege of adopting him. I hope that God blesses us with more children, and I want them all to carry my name. I won't have David feeling as though he's different."

Mr. Williams nodded but gave no clue to what he was thinking. "What about the boy's father?"

"You mean his biological father?" The older man's brows rose at the question, and Nate knew his point had been made. "Eric will always be David's biological father. I want to be a real father to the boy."

Nate felt as though he'd passed some test when Mr. Williams uncrossed his legs and relaxed back in his chair. "CeCe's a good girl," he said, "but she's too hard on herself. She always has been. Even when she was a little bitty thing." He smiled as if he was remembering one of CeCe's childhood antics. "There was never any need to punish her, because most times she punished herself."

Nate knew CeCe's father was telling the truth. CeCe was hard on herself.

"I'm glad she's found somebody to love," the older man said, his voice gruff but affectionate. "Me and her mama worried that, after Eric, she never would. That boy broke my girl's heart." The old man stopped for a moment, and Nate knew then that he'd shared his daughter's pain. '"Course he wasn't nothing but a kid himself. Both of them were. They both sinned, but CeCe had to bear the consequences alone. Or so it seemed to her."

Nate was gaining some insight into CeCe's relationship with her parents. It seemed to him that her parents had never cast Eric in the role of the evil seducer, but rather they considered him a kid, like their daughter, who'd gotten in over his head and fallen into a trap of the enemy. He could see how CeCe would interpret this attitude as not supportive of her. She had cast Eric in the role of the villain, and her parents refused to go along with it. Consequently, she felt betrayed by the people who were supposed to love her.

Nate was also beginning to see that CeCe's parents were special people. More than a few parents would have placed Eric in the role of the devil just to make their daughter look better, but the Williamses had been stronger people. Of course, they'd been hurt because of the role Eric had played in their daughter's unhappiness, but they'd been compassionate toward the man-child he'd been at the time.

"Are you a good man, Nathaniel Richardson?" Mr. Williams's question interrupted his thoughts. "I don't want my little girl hurt again."

The question surprised Nate, though he supposed it really shouldn't have. It was probably the question all fathers most wanted answered. "I try to follow Christ in my life, Mr. Williams, if that's what you mean by good."

Mr. Williams nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer. "Now then, tell me about this man who wants to marry my daughter."

Nate did as instructed. He told Mr. Williams about his family, his marriage and divorce, his work, and the joy of having David and CeCe in his life. "I know CeCe could do a lot better than me, but I love her, and I promise to do my best to keep her safe and to make her happy."

Mr. Williams nodded again. "Well, I don't guess a father can find fault with that." He extended his hand. "As long as you two don't rush into marriage, but get to know each other and make sure you're listening to God's voice, you have my blessing. Welcome to the family, Son."

* * *

CeCe returned to the hospital alone. Nate stood when he saw her get off the elevator. Mr. Williams was in the room with his father. "How is he?" CeCe asked, referring to her grandfather.

Nate kissed her cheek and then led her to the chair next to his. "No change," he said, squeezing her hand. She looked like she could use some sleep. "Where's your mother?"

CeCe leaned back in her chair, keeping her hand in Nate's. "She decided she wanted to spend some time with her grandson." Nate wondered at the skepticism in her voice, but before he could ask her about it, she added, "Mama decided we'd be better off staying at the house, so we are now checked out of the hotel and officially checked in at the place where I grew up."

Nate smiled. Though he could tell CeCe wasn't too optimistic about the change of venue, he was. "I like the idea of staying in the house where you grew up. I just may learn some of your secrets." He was teasing, but the shadow that crossed CeCe's face made him doubt she realized it. "Hey, I'm teasing."

"Oh," she said.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he encouraged. He didn't like her to keep her thoughts bottled up inside. He was beginning to think she'd done that too often in her life. He was still amazed that she didn't realize how much her parents, her father in particular, adored her.

"I'm worried about my grandfather and feeling a little guilty that I haven't spent as much time with him as I should have." She became quiet.

"Why haven't you?" he asked.

She squeezed his fingers. "It's a long story. Let's not talk about it now. Mama is fixing lunch for you and Daddy. I'll stay here while you two take a break."

He shook his head. "I'll stay here with you. I can get something from the cafeteria."

She leaned over and kissed him softly. "I love you for the offer, but I want you to get some rest. I woke you up early this morning—"

"You were up too."

"But you drove all the way." When he was about to offer another objection, she said, "You have no idea how much you helped me this morning, Nate. I was a basket case, and you just stepped in and helped me through it. If I hadn't loved you before, I would love you now. But now it's my turn to take care of you, and I want you to go home and get some rest. I'm going to need your strength later."

Nate felt as though he'd grown ten feet at her appreciation of him. "Well, when you put it that way, I don't guess I have a choice."

Her lips curved in the sweet smile he'd come to cherish. "You're right, you don't. Let me go get Daddy so you two can get out of here."

He watched her make her way to her grandfather's room. Lord, you've given me a complex woman in CeCe Williams, and I need you to show me how to best love her. She doesn't know how loved she is by her parents, and I wonder if she understands how much I love her. Open her eyes so she can see and her heart so she can feel.

Mr. Williams came out of the room just as an older couple rushed down the hallway toward them. A short, stout woman and a tall, thin man approached him, and the woman threw her arms around his waist. Holding the woman, Mr. Williams extended his hand and affectionately clasped it with the man's. Then he introduced his sister and brother-in-law, the Howards, to Nate. CeCe must have heard the commotion because she came out into the hallway and was given a big hug by her aunt and uncle. The couple had just arrived from their home five hours away. They suggested that CeCe go home with her father and Nate, while they sat with the patient. After a short debate, CeCe agreed to leave with the men.

Nate was glad CeCe's relatives had arrived. While she was worried about his getting enough rest, he was more worried about her getting enough. He knew she was physically tired and emotionally drained, and he suspected that every trip she made home was exhausting for her.

* * *

Mr. Williams acted as tour guide on the short drive to the Williamses' home. He pointed out several landmarks of significance to their family—their church, CeCe's high school, the police department. Of course, Nate didn't actually see the buildings. Rather, Mr. Williams pointed out the streets they were on and coerced CeCe into promising to take him for a closer inspection before they left town.

Nate was surprised when he saw CeCe's home. He'd expected a place much smaller than the sprawling ranch before him. The house was surrounded by an immaculate, still-green lawn covered by a kaleidoscope of leaves from the row of trees running along the far side. A big oak tree overhung the porch, which sported a wooden swing.

Nate leaned over and whispered to CeCe, "At least we still have our swing." He was pleased when she lowered her eyes, because he knew she was thinking of the quiet times they'd shared on the swing in Atlanta. He squeezed her fingers as he followed her and her father into the house. Nate almost bumped into her when she stopped suddenly just inside the room. Her father had already scooped David into his arms and, with a gleam in his eyes, listened to his grandson describe the toy truck he held in his hands.

"What—," CeCe began, but her mother cut her off.

"They dropped by to ask about Grandpa," Mrs. Williams said quickly. Nate noted the way she was twirling the ties of her red-and-white checkered apron. Something was not right with the scene before him.

CeCe glanced at the distinguished-looking man and woman seated in the living room with Mrs. Williams and B.B. She didn't smile and she didn't speak. When she turned back to her mother, she frowned. "They came to ask about Big Daddy?" CeCe asked with obvious skepticism. Nate wondered what was going on. It was pretty obvious CeCe was surprised and upset to find the other couple here.

"Look, Mr. Nate," David said to him. The child was oblivious to the undercurrents in the room. Who is this couple? Nate wondered again.

Nate nodded a greeting to the unknown couple and moved to Mr. Williams's side so he could see David's truck better. He tried to listen to the boy and to CeCe at the same time.

The guest couple stood abruptly. "I guess we should go," the woman said, looking at CeCe with pleading eyes. Pleading for what? Nate wondered.

"Thank you for coming by, Von, Harold." Mr. Williams spoke as if he were as unaware of the tension in the room as David was.

"What do you have to say, David?" The question came from B.B.

The boy turned his attention from Nate to the departing couple. "Thank you for the truck."

CeCe gasped, and the room became so quiet that you could have heard a cotton ball fall on the soft carpet. "You're welcome," the woman mumbled, and then she and her husband rushed out the door.

CeCe shot her mother an angry glare. B.B., always the diplomat, took David from his grandfather's arms. "Why don't we go outside and play with your truck?" she suggested.

David was all for it. "You go too, Grandpa, Mr. Nate."

Mr. Williams shook his head, and Nate looked to CeCe for direction. She didn't notice him. B.B. didn't wait. She took David and went out the front door.

As soon as they were out of the room, CeCe asked in a tight voice, "How could you do this, Mama? How could you do this to me? I knew I shouldn't have left David alone with you."

"I didn't do anything to you, CeCe," the older woman said. "They came by. What was I supposed to do? Not let them in the house?"

CeCe looked as if she thought that would have been a very reasonable action. "You're my mother," CeCe answered, and Nate heard the tears in her voice. "You could have stood up for me and my wishes this one time. David is my son."

Mr. Williams stepped in. "Don't talk to your mother in that tone of voice, Cecelia Williams. We're still your parents."

"Well, you should act like it," CeCe murmured.

"Just what are you saying, young lady?" Mr. Williams asked as if he were talking to an out-of-sorts teenager. Nate half expected him to pull off his belt.

"Just forget it, Daddy. If you haven't seen it in all these years, you won't see it—"

"CeCe—," Mrs. Williams began, but the ringing telephone startled them all into silence. Nate knew everybody was wondering if it was bad news. Mrs. Williams answered the phone. When she hung up, she said, "We'd better get to the hospital."

* * *

CeCe's grandfather died less than an hour after they returned to the hospital. He was surrounded by people who loved him, including his pastor, who'd arrived while CeCe and her parents were away. Nate stayed close to CeCe, lending his strength. The rest of the afternoon and evening passed in a blur of planning and supportive calls and visits. By the time David was in bed, they all felt they wanted to follow his lead. B.B. did. Mr. and Mrs. Williams stayed up talking in the kitchen with the Howards, who were staying at the Comfort Inn that CeCe and company had recently vacated. Nate and CeCe sat quietly in the living room.

Wanting some private time with her, Nate took her hand and led her to the front-porch swing. After they were seated, CeCe said, "There's one on the back porch, too."

Nate was pleased by her teasing, even though her eyes were cloudy with sadness. It had been a tough day for her. He knew the argument with her parents still weighed heavily on her mind, and now she had to deal with the death of her grandfather, too. He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "I guess we'll have to try that one out tomorrow. I'm sorry about your grandfather, CeCe."

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry too," she said. "Sorry I didn't spend more time with him. But I'm also happy that he had made his peace with Jesus."

Nate nodded. That had to be a big comfort for her. Had her grandfather died without knowing the Lord, his soul would have been lost and CeCe's heart would have been broken.

"I really didn't have much choice—about spending so much time away," she explained. "I had to protect David."

Her words confirmed what Nate had already begun to suspect: That couple was Eric's parents.

"I don't know why I'm surprised that my mother let them see David behind my back. They've always taken his side," she said absently. Nate wondered if she realized she was talking aloud. "I just don't understand. I'm their daughter, but they take his side."

Nate squeezed her shoulders in a show of support and comfort. "What don't you understand?" he asked.

She sighed and pressed closer to his side. "They were never angry with Eric. After all he put me through, they were never angry with him. They even tried to defend him to me, if you can believe that."

Nate wondered if she thought the only way for her parents to support her was to blame Eric. Faulty reasoning, he knew, especially for a Christian. In his opinion, CeCe would have been better off if she'd adopted her parents' attitude.

"Instead they looked at me with disappointment in their eyes and made me feel as though I was the worst person in the world," CeCe was saying. "Why were they angry with me, but not with him?"

"Have you ever asked them?"

She didn't speak immediately. When she did, her voice was soft, unsure. "No, but I came close a couple of times. Sometimes I think I don't want to hear their answer."

"Why is that? What they say can't be any worse than what you think they'll say. Your imagination could have you suffering a lot of unnecessary pain."

CeCe intertwined her fingers with his. Nate knew she was absorbed in thoughts and regrets from the past. "How did your parents react when your marriage was falling apart?" she asked.

Nate recognized the change in topic for what it was and went along with it. He tried to recall that time in his life, which now seemed so long ago. All he remembered was his parents telling him to do what he thought was best and agreeing to pray for him. He also remembered the sadness in their eyes when he'd told them Naomi was gone. "They hurt for both me and Naomi. I could see my pain reflected in their eyes, and oddly, I found that reassuring."

She lifted her eyes, sharp with awareness, to his. "That's all I wanted from my parents. I never felt that they hurt for me. I always felt that they hurt because I had hurt them, because I had disappointed them so badly."

Nate wasn't sure CeCe was interpreting her parents' actions correctly. From what he'd seen of Mr. and Mrs. Williams, he couldn't imagine them not sharing their daughter's pain. Mr. Williams had practically told him so. But CeCe's parents had also suffered Eric's pain. Nate prayed that given the same circumstances, God forbid, he would be as generous and forgiving as they had been. Especially since Eric had been able to walk away from the situation while CeCe had to endure pregnancy and then raise a child alone. "I think you need to talk this out with your parents, CeCe. It happened too long ago for it to still cause this rift between you."

She shook her head. "It's not in the past, Nate. It's in the present. Today my mother deliberately went against my wishes and allowed Eric's parents to spend time with David. It's obvious my parents think I'm handling the situation the wrong way."

Though it was hard for him to accept, Nate realized that CeCe really didn't see the connection between the past and the present. Oh, Father, what am I to do? "It may be happening in the present, CeCe, but it's rooted in the past. You can't keep running away from your past and your parents. You've got to deal with them both." And soon, he added silently.

CeCe rested her head on his shoulder, quiet, but Nate didn't mind. He just hoped she'd open her heart to his suggestion. He prayed that all the work God wanted to do in her she would allow to be done. For her sake—and theirs.

"Nate," CeCe said sometime later. They were still seated on the swing, her head resting on his shoulder, his arms draped loosely around her waist. "They're going to wait three or four days before the funeral to give the out-of-town relatives time to get here. You don't have to wait around. You should go back to Atlanta."

He stiffened at her words. He didn't want to leave her to face her demons alone. "What if I want to stay?"

She pulled away and looked up at his face. "As much as I want you here, I need more for you to go."

"But why? I want to be with you." And you need me to be with you, he added to himself.

She lowered her head back to his shoulder. "Because I'm no good here. I don't want you to see me like this. Something inside me changes when I come here, and I'm not myself. I can't explain it. Everything good in me now seems to get overshadowed by everything bad from my past." She paused. "When we were at Shay and Marvin's for the cookout, Shay said that she could see God in herself now, when for a long time she couldn't. Well, when I'm in Atlanta I can see God in me, but when I'm here, it's as though the old person comes back. I don't want you to see me like this. I regret that I got so angry with my mother today, and I regret that you had to see me that angry."

Nate knew she had no idea how much her words hurt him. She was suffering too deeply in her own pain to be aware of his. He wanted to tell her that the old person was dead, not to be resurrected again, but he held his tongue. She knew the Scriptures as well as he did, and he suspected she wouldn't appreciate a sermon. "I'll go," he said, though he desperately wanted to stay. "But I'll be back for the funeral."

"Thank you" was her only response.