Ava turned her head to survey the familiar surroundings and felt the peace wrap around her like her grandmother’s arms. If anywhere could heal Zac, then her home could. She believed that with all her heart and quashed the doubts that tried to surface again about his memory.
When she entered the homestead, she could hear the clatter of a pot going onto the stove and guessed her mum was heating soup already. She turned back and saw Zac coming in after Granny Mim, his bag in his hand, a little diffidently, as if unsure if this really had been a good idea. She drew a deep breath and plastered a smile on her face.
‘This way, Zac, I’ll show you to your room. You might like to freshen up – you have your own bathroom – and then meet us back in the kitchen.’ She gestured to where the noise was coming from. ‘Mum’s onto lunch already.’
His face cleared. ‘Thanks.’
Granny Mim followed them and Zac moved closer behind Ava as if afraid of getting lost.
The main hallway walls showed the red-stone mortar work of the original homestead, and the different seams of colour through the rock made her want to run her hands along the familiar cool stone for comfort. Immediately to her right, a door led to the long room with the day bed and a blood-pressure machine. She saw Zac glance in. On the other side, a doorway led into the lounge area.
Zac said, ‘It’s cool in the centre of the house with the stone walls.’
‘Yes. It helps a lot in the summer. We don’t turn the aircon on usually, but we had it installed when we built all the cottages because it seemed silly not to have it here too when they had it.’
She gestured with her arm. ‘This is yours. All the rooms have a door to the verandah. Nobody is next door to your room, then it’s me, then Granny Mim, then Mum. So you can find us if you need us.’
He tilted his head. ‘Would I need you?’ The why was unspoken but still there.
Why indeed. ‘You might feel unwell,’ Ava reasoned, then paused and met his eyes. ‘Or remember something.’
She saw understanding that she was hoping he would very soon. ‘None of us mind being woken up.’ The last word almost wobbled so she turned away. ‘Anyway, see you in the kitchen when you’re ready. Mum doesn’t like to wait.’ She stopped again and waited for her grandmother to follow her. ‘Come on, Mim.’
‘Good to see you here.’
There was a wealth of something in her grandmother’s voice – Ava hesitated to label it ‘satisfaction’, but that was what it had sounded like. Incurably romantic Mim. Ava just hoped her grandmother was right. Zac would be experiencing the many strong personalities in this house, but that was okay. Ava had warned him.
‘We won’t have any of that nonsense of you staying in a cabin until you’re stronger,’ Mim said. ‘We’ll feed you up and give you a few days under three pairs of nurses’ eyes.’ She looked him up and down as if he were a large schoolboy. ‘We may let you escape after that.’
‘Thanks, Mrs May.’
‘And call me Mim, like everyone else does, Zac.’ Ava saw Zac only just manage to contain his smile.
‘When you’ve washed up –’ Ava bobbed her head towards the end of the hallway – ‘through that white wooden archway is the kitchen. We’ll be waiting for you.’
She sent him a smile and they left him, standing in his allocated room.
‘Oh my, oh my.’ Ava could hear Mim rubbing her hands and muttering as she followed her to the kitchen. She hoped he couldn’t hear Granny Mim extolling his virtues as a big, strong man, but he probably could. Oh well. He would get used to Mim’s forthrightness, she was sure.
Ava put her empty water bottle next to the sink and then turned and leaned back against the bench, looking warily at her grandmother. No wonder she didn’t tell her family everything that happened to her. ‘Did you want something, Mim?’
‘Just wondering how the trip went.’ Mim winked and Ava couldn’t be cross because she knew Mim missed having her around to tease. ‘A few hours in the car with that man would be no hardship.’
‘Grandmother. Behave.’ Ava raised her brows. ‘Or should I tell him you fancy him?’
‘If he were fifty years older, maybe. But –’ she shrugged magnanimously – ‘I’m happy if you fancy him.’
She certainly did. ‘He has to remember me first.’
Mim waved that away. ‘You could make him fall in love with you all over again, I’m sure.’
Ava wished she was that positive.
Mim cackled quietly. ‘Don’t suppose he has a grandfather or handsome older uncle he could recommend for me? Seeing as how you’re all finding fellas. Good genes, and good what’s in the jeans.’ Mim snorted.
‘Mother!’ Stella frowned in their direction as she stirred soup in a pot on the stove. Then she switched off the heat. ‘Stop chuckling like a madwoman. Have you seen Jock?’
‘Not since this morning.’
‘He knows I want him to check in or he’s to let us know he’s back safe. Or his wife could.’
‘He’ll be fine. You should go ring Hana to check. Or go for a walk and get rid of that glint in your eye. I’ve something I want to ask your daughter.’
‘Be civilised. We have a guest,’ Stella admonished and disappeared from view.
‘Well?’
‘Well what?’ Ava crossed her arms.
‘I’m not blind.’ Mim huffed in exasperation. ‘He looks like a lovely man.’ She lowered her voice. ‘I’m not a complete goose. I think you two have done it.’
Ava blushed and Mim, noting it, rubbed her hands. ‘I thought so,’ she said, nodding vigorously. ‘How was he?’
‘Mum,’ Ava called out. ‘Can you help me, please!’
Mim frowned and glanced warily at the empty doorway. ‘She’s gone. You didn’t have to do that. I’m just teasing.’
‘Mum has ears like a bat and you know it.’
Mim screwed up her face. ‘Well, I’ve been hinting you should get a life apart from commitment to work, and he seems perfect for the job. He can’t take his eyes off you.’
‘He’s trying to remember who I am.’ Ava rolled her eyes and pushed off the sink. ‘And anyway, we’ve been here all of two minutes – you can’t tell that. You said I should take up travelling, buy clothes, remember? Are you changing your mind?’
‘Yes. I’d much prefer you found a man.’ Mim peered through the screen door to check Stella wasn’t in earshot. ‘You are your own woman, but you need to take a break from being careful all the time.’
‘Really? Do you think so?’ Ava rubbed her palms together softly as if they were cold. She’d lost her daughter and now she’d almost lost Zac – she might still lose Zac.
Ava saw Mim’s face crumple as she looked at the calendar. ‘Oh, sweetness, I missed Amelia’s birthday.’ She crossed the room and hugged her granddaughter and Ava hugged her back. Dear Mim. Ava’s throat scratched as she hugged harder.
Ava whispered, ‘She’d have been five. Starting school.’ Then she lifted a resolute face, despite the pain behind the eyes. ‘Does it get any easier? Pop’s been gone ten years now.’
Mim nodded, understanding in her faded blue eyes. ‘Not easier, but kinder. Though I have memories of Max while you have unfulfilled dreams for your Amelia. But,’ she stepped back and searched her granddaughter’s face, ‘you know neither of us would have missed the pain to keep the joy.’
‘True.’ Ava hugged her fiercely. And she felt that way about Zac, too. The thought gave her strength. ‘Love you, Mim.’ She stepped away and picked up the framed photograph of Amelia they kept on the kitchen dresser. The one beside Max. ‘I went to the waterhole. It was beautiful as always.’ She put down the photo. ‘But I’m a little tired after the drive, so don’t tease me about Zac.’
‘Okay, sweetie. You do look bushed.’
‘He just needs TLC for a few days. You’re good at that.’
‘Tender loving care. I can do that. Stella can fatten him up with her food.’
‘And no stories of me as a little girl.’ Ava winced. Mim loved those when visitors came. ‘Or embarrassing teenage ones, either.’
‘Of course not,’ Mim said innocently.
Ava sighed. It was probably too much to ask. Hopefully, she’d be out of earshot when they happened. Zac in her family home without amnesia would have been a whole different experience. ‘He’s a fascinating man.’ She winced at the satisfaction that statement caused Mim, her mouth making a delighted ‘O’, and hurried on before Mim could form any more embarrassing questions.
‘But that’s enough. Give me a little space, Mim. It’s been a pretty torrid week.’
‘Of course, darling,’ Mim said, all sweetness and light, which worried Ava more. Mim was making plans, she knew it in her very bones. But she could no more stop a dust storm than stop Mim, so she let it go. Reluctantly.
‘It’s good to be home.’ But she needed a moment, and needed a long debrief with her sister-in-law. ‘How’s Hana?’ Where’s Hana? Instead of sitting down, she moved across the room to look out the door in the direction in which her brother’s house lay.
‘She’s keeping your brother close to her, though I think it’s more for him than her.’
‘Then she’d have a good reason to. I’ll go have a wash. Be back soon.’ As Ava left the room, she could hear her grandmother muttering to herself, ‘A wedding. Excellent.’
Ava sighed. She’d known Mim would be on to her like an eagle to roadkill about Zac’s prospects as a husband. Since she’d finished her training and started her midwifery agency work, she’d been doing ten-hour shifts with four days on and four days off, then driving back to the station most weeks. With two months of the year dedicated for muster and spending time with her family, Ava’s life had felt very full. Who needed men when the work was there?
Her goals had been to gain the confidence and respect that Zac had seen from her peers, and even harder to achieve, the confidence and acceptance of the women in the many communities she visited as a midwife. Though their homes were simple and their amenities few, the women inspired her with their ingrained sense of family and ability to rise from challenges with such strength.
She believed her being there helped their experience when they came in for birth and recognised the midwife. And she loved the babies. The brown-eyed, round-cheeked, happy babies she saw everywhere she visited. She loved her life.
Mim had scolded her often for being single-minded, telling her that work wasn’t a penance she deserved as a young single mum whose daughter had died. Ava had come to accept, if not rail against, the fact that it had been Amelia’s destiny to visit fleetingly, and there was no one to blame for what had happened, herself included. She also knew her mother and grandmother worried about her lack of male company, but she had plenty of male acquaintances. Just none, until now, who turned her on.
Zac Logan’s face insinuated itself into her mind and she couldn’t help the forlorn smile that tilted up her mouth. Well, she’d certainly been ‘socialising’ lately, and she had to admit the colours in her world had turned brighter before they’d been photoshopped viciously into the monochrome of amnesia.
But, she reminded herself, the last part of the drive had been good. This afternoon had shone with the connection she’d felt with Zac in the car. However, today became more precious for the tragic possibility that it too could be fleeting. She accepted that if his memory didn’t come back, he’d return to Sydney soon. She knew the promise he’d seen between them before the accident had gone, and if it wasn’t restored she’d have to survive.
Ava opened the screen door and stepped out to pat Reggie for a few minutes as she gazed over the paddocks. She leaned against the rail and stared out over the dry landscape.
The cost of possibly falling even more deeply in love with Zac would be the price she’d pay. She ruffled Reggie’s neck. Probably. But she needed to be brave for both of them if she wanted to fight for something her gut said was a future people dreamed of.