Chapter 17
“I’ll let you know after I move.”
“Nothin’, Mama,” Johnnie said, feeling guilty even though she hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Nothin’, huh?” Marguerite repeated. “Nothin’ my ass!”
“Ma’am,” Lucas interceded. “We wasn’t doin’ nothin’, honest.”
“You wasn’t doin’ nothin’?” Marguerite mocked. “You mean you didn’t have a chance to do nothin’. You ain’t foolin’ me, boy. You cain’t wait to get yo’ dick up in her. If I hadn’ta come in here, who knows what woulda been goin’ on.”
“Mama!” Johnnie shouted, feeling totally embarrassed. It was bad enough that she had to have sex with Earl. Now that she liked a boy her own age, her mother was ruining it for her.
“And don’t Mama me,” Marguerite exploded. “You know I don’t allow no boys in this house, girl. You can get mad all you want, but you know that.”
“Johnnie, I better go,” Lucas said, bowing his head. “I’m sorry I caused trouble, ma’am.”
“You goddamn right you better go,” Marguerite yelled. “And don’t let me catch you here again. You hear me?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Lucas said and started walking toward the door.
“Let me see you out,” Johnnie said, still embarrassed. She opened the door and they went out on the front porch. “I’m sorry, Lucas. I’ll be gettin’ my own place soon. I can have you over then, if you still want to see me.”
“I do, Johnnie. I want you to be my girl. Will you?”
As much as she wanted to say yes, Johnnie knew not to, not yet anyway. She had too much going on in her life right now. She had to please too many people. She had her mother, Earl, and now Martin Winters wanted in.
“We’ll see, Lucas,” she said, looking into his eyes. “I’ll let you know after I move, okay?”
“Okay, Johnnie,” he said, disappointed.
Johnnie watched him as he walked down the street. She was hoping he’d turn around so she could see his handsome face once more before she went into the house. He did, and she smiled. Then she thought about what her mother had done only moments ago. Her eyes narrowed when she thought about all that happened to her in the last year or so. She did everything her mother had asked her to do. And what thanks did I get? Johnnie entered the house with fury in her eyes.
Marguerite knew her daughter was upset with her, but she didn’t care. The foremost thing on Marguerite’s mind was keeping the money coming in from Earl. If that meant a strained relationship with her daughter, so be it. Marguerite had been where Johnnie was going. She knew it was a road leading to disappointment and bitterness. In her own way, Marguerite truly believed she was saving Johnnie from the same mistakes she’d made, but Johnnie was too young to understand. Marguerite could see contempt in Johnnie’s eyes, and knew she had to say something to get her daughter to understand what she was trying to do. Marguerite wanted her to know how much she cared, and that she knew the ultimate end with Lucas Matthews.
“Johnnie, I know you mad at me, but—”
“I don’t wanna hear it, Mama!” Johnnie screamed.
“All I’m tryin’ to do is keep you from making the same mistakes I made when I was yo’ age. I know you don’t understand now, but in time, you will.”
“Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was for me? Do you? Lucas Matthews is the only somebody who truly cares for me.”
“I care about you, honey,” Marguerite said as compassionately as she could.
Johnnie laughed cruelly. “You care about me? You? That’s a laugh. You’re the one who turned me out! You’re the one who pimped me! My own mother!”
Marguerite slapped Johnnie across the face with the back of her hand. Johnnie slapped her back and the two women engaged in an all-out brawl. Marguerite grabbed Johnnie, put her in a headlock, and shouted, “Who do you think you are, disrespectin’ me and talkin’ to me like some fool on the streets? Girl, don’t you know I will kill you?”
Fueled by her fury, Johnnie was stronger than Marguerite, and was able to free herself of the headlock. She grabbed Marguerite by her thick hair, put her in a headlock and flipped her. Marguerite went down hard, making a loud thud when her body hit the floor. They rolled on the floor, grunting, trying to get in blows.
Marguerite yelled between grunts, “No face scratchin,’ goddamn it. No face scratchin’!”
Suddenly, they were back on their feet, hitting each other on the head, but not the face. Glass shattered, keepsakes broke, but they kept fighting as if it were to the death. Both women remained careful not to cut up each other’s face. Marguerite got tired and Johnnie tackled and climbed on top of her. She slapped her silly, yelling at her after each blow was delivered. Smack! Smack! Smack! The blows went against her head.
“Don’t you ever—” Smack! Smack! Smack! “put your hands—” Smack! Smack! Smack! “on me again! You touch me again and I’ll kill you! You hear me? I’ll kill you!”
The stinging blows stunned Marguerite. As she shrank back from Johnnie, putting her hands up to ward off the blows, Marguerite realized her daughter was no longer a child in a woman’s body. Johnnie was a full-grown woman with a mind of her own now.
Knowing she was now in charge of her life, Johnnie shouted, “You got a lot of nerve sayin’ you love me! How, Mama? You love me how? A year ago, I was a church-going, good Christian girl! What am I now, Mama? I’m a whore! Your whore! That’s what they call me at school! The white man’s whore! Just like you, Mama! Do you know what happened to me on the way home today? Do you even care?”
Marguerite, on her feet now, tried to explain again, but Johnnie kept on giving her a piece of her mind.
“When I got out of school today, a crowd of kids followed me. They were sayin’ all kind of cruel things about me. One boy kept talkin’ about me. He kept sayin’, ‘Don’t you suck his dick, whore?’ Do you know how that makes me feel, havin’ the whole neighborhood knowin’ my shame? And for what? To put food on the table and clothes on yo’ back? Well, I’m not gonna do it no more! Not for you! Not for anybody! From now on, I’m makin’ the rules! And I will have Lucas Matthews. Lucas was the only somebody who stood up for me. He beat the boy up for sayin’ what he said about me. Lucas likes me and I like him. And I’ll tell you something else too, Mama. I’m gonna do it with him.”
“What am I supposed to do, Johnnie?” Marguerite asked, full of sorrow and remorse. “How am I supposed to live?”
“Don’t worry, Mama. I’ll keep takin’ care of you. You showed me how. I’ll say one thing for you, Mama. You were right about men. They all want me. Every last one of ’em. And now that I’m a woman, I’m gonna do exactly what you taught me. I’m gonna have whatever I want. Money, clothes, whatever! As a matter of fact, Earl is buyin’ me a house. I’m moving out and there’s nothing you can do about it!”
Johnnie left Marguerite standing there in the middle of the living room with her mouth open. She went upstairs to her room and packed her bags. A few minutes later, she heard Earl’s Cadillac pull up. She picked up her suitcase, went downstairs and met him at the door.
“Where you goin’?” Marguerite asked.
“Anywhere but here,” she said firmly.
Earl opened the door. He could see how enraged Johnnie was. “What’s going on?” he asked. “Where are you going with that suitcase?”
“You takin’ me to a hotel. I’m never comin’ back here again.”
“I am, huh?” Earl asked, still wondering what had happened between mother and daughter.
“Earl, I’m not in the mood. Take this suitcase and let’s go before I change my mind.”
“Johnnie, please don’t leave,” Marguerite begged. “I don’t wanna be alone.” Johnnie kept walking as if she didn’t hear her mother’s pleas. Marguerite turned to Earl. “Please don’t take my baby from me.”
Johnnie stopped in her tracks. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Slowly, she turned around and angrily faced her mother. As she saw the pitiful look on her mother’s face, she shook her head. “Take your baby, Mama? I don’t even believe you. You sold your baby, Mama, on Christmas Eve, remember?”
Complete silence filled the room as mother and daughter looked at each other with tears in their eyes. Earl grabbed her suitcase and walked out of the house.
“I’m sorry, baby,” Marguerite said, looking into her eyes. “I was only doing all I knew how. Please forgive me.”
“I forgive you,” Johnnie said, putting on her sunglasses. “I love you, Mama, but I gotta go.”
Johnnie walked out of the house and got into the Cadillac. She could feel her mother’s eyes on her the entire time, but refused to look at her. Earl started the car and pulled off.
Marguerite stood at the door, watching the Cadillac until it disappeared. Slowly, the anguish she felt found its way out and she cried loudly.