Chapter 31
“There had to be a better way.”
“So, Earl’s goin’ to Chicago, huh?” Marguerite asked.
“Yeah. Said he’s got some business meetin’ to go to with his father-in-law.”
“You sound like you don’t believe him.”
“I don’t. Earl is a liar, Mama. He’s always been a liar, and he’ll always be a liar. He may be tellin’ the truth now, but chances are he’s lyin’. Probably got some black woman in Chicago to see. Who knows?”
“What are you goin’ to do while he’s gone?”
“Enjoy myself for a change. It’ll be good to know he’s gone for a couple of weeks while I get my house together. I’m going to Sears tomorrow and buy me some furniture.”
“The way they treated you, why would you go back to Sears?”
“Because I have stock in the company, remember? If I buy from the companies I’ve invested in, it’ll be like shoppin’ on a permanent discount.”
“How can I get some of them investments?” Marguerite asked.
“Just give me your money and I’ll get you the stocks. I’ll even show you everything I learn from Martin. That way you can do it yourself. Some day, I might just become a stockbroker and open my own brokerage firm. Just think! If I did that, I’ll have access to my own little market.”
“What do you mean?”
“How many colored folks do you know that invest their money?”
“None.”
“Me neither. There’s the market right there. If I can learn this stock market thing, get some colored folks to invest, I could make a fortune.”
“Okay, so when can we invest what I have now?”
“How much do you have?”
“About six or seven thousand dollars.”
“What?”
“Yeah, about that much.”
Johnnie took her shades off again and stared at her mother. She knew Earl had paid her mother to have her, but she had no idea how much money Marguerite was being paid.
Sensing her daughter’s wrath, Marguerite innocently asked, “What’s wrong with you?”
“What the fuck do you think is wrong with me?” Johnnie said so spontaneously that she didn’t realize she had sworn for the first time in her young life. The words just came out of her like a powerful, unpredictable hurricane.
“Don’t you curse me, girl,” Marguerite growled.
“Curse you? Is that all you can say? Pray that I don’t drown yo’ good for nothin’ ass in this pool.”
Marguerite was amazingly cool, calm, and collected. She took a sip of her iced tea and said, “Ahhhh. This tea sho’ hits the spot on a blisterin’ hot day like today, don’t it?”
“Mama, if you don’t tell me somethin’ and I mean tell me somethin’ quick, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
“Tell you what, girl?”
“Don’t play dumb, Mama,” Johnnie said, unable to contain the contempt she felt. “You told me Earl paid for everything that day.”
“He did.”
“How much did Earl pay for me, Mama?”
“A lot.”
“Mama, if you don’t start givin’ me some answers, and I mean right now, cursin’ you will be the least of your worries.”
“You threatenin’ me, girl?”
“If you don’t tell me what I wanna know, so help me God, I’ll choke the livin’ shit outta you! And I mean it!”
“You serious, huh?”
Johnnie stood to her feet and calmly said, “I won’t ask you again.”
“Okay, okay,” Marguerite said nervously. “Sit down. People are starin’.”
Johnnie eased back into her lawn chair and put her shades back on. “Now, how much did he pay you that first time?”
“Hear me out, okay? Just hear me out is all I ask.”
“Will you get on with it?”
“Earl offered me five hundred, but I got him up to a thousand because you were a virgin.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“No, but I just wanted you to know I didn’t let you go cheap.”
Johnnie just shook her head in disbelief and said, “So, where did all the money come from?”
“I’ve been savin’ for years. Ever since the depression.”
“So, what you’re tellin’ me is you didn’t have to sell me at all, right?”
“Yeah, I did,” she said sincerely. “The money was an excuse, but you needed to learn how men operate. You needed to learn what they think of women and how to handle yourself.”
“And it never occurred to you to let me learn some things on my own?”
“You have learned some things on your own, Johnnie,” she said, almost proud. “Look at you now. You’re a beautiful young woman with a beautiful home, some money in your purse, and the knowledge of how to get more. You’re doing better than I did when I was sixteen. You oughta be grateful.”
“Grateful?”
“You goddamn right,” Marguerite said with conviction. “Where would you be right now if it wasn’t for me? You wouldn’t be in this nice hotel. You wouldn’t know Martin Winters. You wouldn’t have all these stocks and shit. And you certainly wouldn’t have all these grandiose plans, would you?”
“So, let me get this straight. I’m supposed to be grateful for bein’ introduced to a life of whoredom?”
“A life of business, remember?”
Johnnie laughed sardonically and said, “Do you have any idea what my plans were before you did this to me?”
“I suppose you’re going to tell me you were a visionary before I helped you see the light.”
“So, no matter what I say, you’re going to justify what you did and pat yourself on the back for doin’ it. This is unbelievable.”
“Believe it,” Marguerite said, feeling sure of herself. “I did what I thought was best for you. And if I could make a few nickels for doin’ it, why not? Now you won’t ever have to fall in love with the first man who fucks you like so many foolish women do.”
“You mean like you, Mama?”
“I mean exactly like me. You don’t have to like it, but you need to quit lookin’ backward and start lookin’ forward. Life is full of ups and downs, Johnnie. Remember that. And stop all this cryin’ you do all the time. You’re going to have to learn to be stronger than that. You’ve got your whole life in front of you. If you don’t like what I taught you, then stop. If you do, then follow your plan. You’ve got something my own mother didn’t have.”
“What’s that?”
“Vision. You’ve got vision, Johnnie, and a brain to go along with it. Besides, whatever you wanted to do before is still available to you. But whatever you do from this point forward is your own doin’. Don’t blame me for the rest of your life. Instead, do what you will. Make the best of what you’ve learned.”
“I wanted to be an evangelist, Mama. How am I gonna do that now?”
“Some of the best saints were the worst sinners. If you want to be an evangelist, be one. Don’t let whatever mistakes you think I made stop you from being who you wanna be.”
Johnnie was silent for a few moments, considering Marguerite’s ideology.
There’s a lot of truth in what she’s saying, but there had to be a better way than this. There had to be. On the other hand, if I stop now, I’m back in the ghetto, back in the same high school, facing the same ridicule. How can I go back to being a good girl now, after all I’ve been through? How can God accept me now? He can’t, can he? I’ll do this a little while longer. Just ’til I get on my feet. Maybe I do have vision. Maybe I can become a stockbroker someday.
“Mama, are you ever going to tell me who this guy is that brings you to the Savoy?”
“No. A woman always has secrets, Johnnie. Remember that.”
I’ll remember that all right. You don’t have to tell me. I’ll find out, though. Believe me, I’ll find out.