We’ve been on quite the journey together. We’ve talked about diet culture and how harmful and insidious it is. We discussed the shitty things we say to ourselves, why we repeat them over and over, and how that affects us. We pulled out those negative core values of ours, turned them over in our hands, and told them to get lost. We did a few science lessons about macronutrients and what your body needs to be happy and healthy. Then we talked about how to put those lessons into practice and how to care for yourself in other ways, namely getting more sleep and knocking down the stress. We did it!
So what now? If you haven’t already, you can start to put what we learned into practice. As you move forward, here are some key points to remember.
Living your best life means grabbing life by the balls and being in the present, instead of wallowing in the toxic garbage pile of diet culture. Instead of giving such a crap about what celebrities and influencers are eating and how much they weigh, put the focus on the things that matter most to you and the people you love. When you do the opposite—focus on numbers, counting, weight, what you can and can’t eat, and how you want to fit into your jeans from twenty years ago—it costs you. It costs you financially because you’re buying into diets and products that are bogus. It costs you physically because it’s exhausting and unhealthy to gain and lose the same weight over and over again. And it costs you emotionally because you feel guilty and sad about not achieving the unrealistic goals that diet culture sets out for you. Those costs are far too high. Let them go. It may be a trade-off—some extra pounds for a lifetime of freedom from diets, but isn’t that worth it?
Understand that diets and the wellness industry are big business, and our society feeds into that. They don’t exist for your health; they exist to make money off unsuspecting people.
It’s hard to get away from all of the noise, but one way is to unfollow anyone online who makes you feel bad about yourself. Comparing yourself to other people is normal human behavior, but it’s a lesson in futility, especially on social media. There are a lot of unknowns behind those pretty pictures, and chances are, you’re being misled.
Even outside of social media, remember that your genetics, lifestyle, socioeconomic status, likes and dislikes, and upbringing are unique. Spending your life wanting what someone else has when it may or may not be attainable to you is a waste of time that could otherwise be spent bringing joy to yourself and others. Find your own strengths and revel in them.
YOU FIT INTO THIS WORLD THE WAY YOU ARE. Don’t be afraid to take up space. In fact, go out there and take up all the space you need. When you reject the box that others want to put you into, you set an example for everyone else. From one disruptor to another, just do it.
Find your core beliefs. This is something that we rarely think of doing. Most of us don’t even know how deeply these beliefs affect our choices through our lives. The core beliefs that are negative can be a major stumbling block to living in the present. Remember that boulder that rolls down the hill and lands on top of you, again and again, not letting you get to where you want to go? Time to slingshot that boulder into oblivion by taking a long, hard look at why it’s there. Ask yourself “why” and go back to Chapter 2 and do this work as many times as you need to; this is the key to making changes to your eating and lifestyle and sustaining them well into the future. If you need help from a therapist to guide you, please get it. Because once you trash those beliefs by asking yourself the hard questions, you open yourself to a life unfettered by guilt, shame, and anxiety around food and eating. One in which you can move forward being who you are and own what’s rightfully yours: happiness and freedom with food and your body.
Normal eating is a huge spectrum. Understanding that can change how you feel about your food choices. Overeating sometimes? Normal. Feeling hungry all the time because of food restriction? Not normal. The list of normal eating habits in Chapter 3 is there to remind you that food and eating should be flexible, fun, and free of negative emotion.
Trust your body. It isn’t going to end in disaster. Remember the hunger and fullness scale and use it to find your true hunger.
Set realistic goals. Focus on your comfortable weight, not a number on the scale. Don’t be afraid to readjust if it’s not working.
Carbs aren’t harmful. Protein helps with physical satisfaction. Fat isn’t anything to be afraid of. Water is best, but coffee counts, too. Don’t get bogged down by the numbers. We don’t eat ingredients in isolation; we eat food. Variety of diet is the key to true nourishment; if you do that, you’ll get all the nutrients you need.
Be a pencil, not an eraser. It’s important to add food to your diet, not take it away. Know your hunger, lifestyle, and preferences, and be balanced, flexible, and intentional—because goddamn it, you’re going to eat that brownie and move the fuck on with life. Yes, you’ll have to make some changes; this is the key to sustainable change. It takes some time to adjust certain habits. Do the best you can and don’t beat yourself up. Eat the way YOU want, not for anyone else. If you don’t do this for you, you shouldn’t do it at all.
And finally, if there’s one message you take away from this book, it’s that all food is good and all diets are bad. The reason food exists is to nourish us physically, though its purpose goes beyond that. Food brings us together and nourishes us emotionally. It tells the stories of our cultures. It delights us and fills us with joy. Those are all good things that we all have a right to enjoy. Exercise that right. This leads to true satisfaction.
So here we are at the end. I hope you feel empowered as you move forward.
Thank you for trusting me to impart what I’ve learned to you. Thank you for taking the time to read this book, and for integrating my knowledge into your life and your habits. Thank you for allowing me to change the way you think about food, eating, and your body.
It has been a privilege to work with you.
abby XO