Shit.
Shit.
Visiting hours had just started and our friends had shown up in a veritable army, drowning out the noises of the nurse who was yelling at them to give me and Willa some time alone. Finally, Chrissi just stuck her head in, looking apologetic. And a little let down to see that Willa and I were still clothed.. "I tried to stop them. Do you want me to call security?"
"No!" Willa and I chorused at the same time. I glanced down at her and she looked up and met my eye with a cool expression.
Oh. Right. I was just about to explain the engaged thing to her. I still needed to explain the engaged thing to her. When her mother left late last night - or rather, early this morning when Willa had been wheeled out of surgery - I'd thought I'd have some time to catch my breath. The quiet of her hospital room, the regular sip of her breathing as she drifted in sedated sleep... I could keep an eye on her, I'd thought - while also buying myself some time to figure out how to fix this. All of this.
I wasn't used to feeling guilty. Regret wasn't my thing. And now I knew why.
It sucked.
If only you'd given her a fucking ride, you piece of shit.
You promised.
No.
No shut up. I can fix it. I just need to think. I just need quiet, so I can think.
But she wasn't in a peacefully drugged state when I walked back in the room. Far from it. And instead of being able to wrap my head around this, I felt like I'd wrapped a noose around my neck. And each passing second had it pulling tighter.
Fuck. One panicked, guilty lie had somehow snowballed to this. I held up my hands, ready to finally put a stop to it. "Guys, listen..." No one seemed to hear me, so I cleared my throat to say it again...
And then caught myself when I saw Chrissi still watching us like a matchmaking hawk.
Chrissi, the world's most overinvolved nurse, seemed personally invested in the success of our fake engagement. If she found out I lied, she'd probably hate me. And definitely tell everyone what a no-good, rotten liar I was.
Including, shit, the EMTs who brought us in. And oh God, double shit, the detective who'd interviewed me.
Shit, can you get prosecuted for lying to ambulance drivers? For falsifying an engagement to a police officer? Was I about to go to prison for all this?
My hands fell back down to my sides. Shit. I was going to have to keep up the charade. At least until Willa got out of the hospital. Possibly even longer.
I swallowed and stared at my friends. You can tell them after, I reasoned. Some night a few weeks from now when we're all at the Crown Tavern. It'll be funny by then. A funny story to tell over a few beers, nothing more. I just... have to hold on until then.
By now, Claire had claimed a space by Willa's bedside right by her head. "You're engaged?" she shrieked at the top of her lungs. "I thought you hated him!"
Hated me? Ouch. That definitely stung more than I expected, except... to be fair, I'd definitely not gone out of my way to hide my opinion of Willa over the years. Still, my feelings were pretty justified.
What reason would she have to hate me though? I turned to watch Willa, who looked thoroughly shell-shocked.
But Avery burst out laughing. "Oh my God, everything makes sense now!" She tossed her hair and stabbed a finger in my direction. "Guys, we're not in middle school anymore. You could have told us you were dating, we wouldn't have teased you." She paused. "Too much," she amended.
"Pretending to hate each other to hide your illicit love affair!" Ruby pretended to swoon. "Like something out of a Jane Austen novel or something."
Ryan raised his voice from the doorway. "I always thought it was kind of ridiculous, you know? The way you two sniped at each other, like a couple of hissing cats."
"Yeah seriously," Naomi agreed. “Completely over the top."
It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. Our friends shrieking excitement over the "engagement" was one thing, but having to hear about how perfectly matched we were? Willa... and me? That was insanity.
And there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I glanced at Willa who looked like she wanted the earth to open up and swallow her whole. I would have gladly flung myself in after her.
"About time you two just got your love out in the open..."
"...masking your true feelings..."
"...about time, honestly!"
Chrissi was listening to all of this with her hand over her heart, then took a look at Willa’s white face and the two spots of angry color that blazed on her cheeks. “What’s wrong, honey, you feel faint? Lift your head sweetie, I need to do your vitals.” She slapped a cuff on Willa’s right arm and gasped. “Your blood pressure is through the roof!"
So was mine. The walls were closing in on me. I needed air. My eyes swept out over the sea of familiar faces, and I was jarred with the one that was missing.
Shit. Liam. I never called him.
"I'm going to step out," I excused myself and pulled my phone from my pocket as I headed out into the hallway. I just needed to get my thoughts together, and usually Liam would be the one to help me do that. But he wasn't here. And... shit... he cared for Willa way more than made sense.
I snapped my head up at the sound of my name. How long had I been staring at my phone out here? "Cooper! How is she?"
Mrs. Harlow was still wearing the same clothes as the night before. It looked like she'd slept in them. "Is Jakey okay?" I asked, worried about the absence of her freckle-faced shadow. "Did his neck bother him from sleeping on the chair like that?"
She shook her head. "He's fine, young bones, you know? He's in school. I'm trying to keep things normal for him." She pressed her lips together and her eyes started to fill as her lips started to form the shape of her terrified question. When she'd left, Willa had just gotten out of surgery and was still hooked up to a breathing tube. It had been hard enough for me to see her like that. For her mother, though...
I spoke quickly to head off the tears. “Hey, no. She's awake. She woke up." I rubbed circles on her back as she exhaled a shuddering breath, then chuckled ruefully. "Claire and the rest of the misfits of Crown Creek High are all crowded in there, but I'm sure they'll clear out once they see you're here, Mrs. Harlow. Willa will probably be grateful for the reprieve."
Mrs. Harlow sniffled and then laughed. "Is Claire badgering her? I love that girl, but she can be..." She paused to find the most tactful word. "Intense."
I laughed and agreed, then excused myself. "I just have to make a call."
She made it to her daughter's room and then paused. "Oh, Cooper? One more thing."
I braced myself. I could lie to my friends. To the cops, to the nurses, to the ambulance drivers. To Willa, even. But if one of my elders asked me for the truth, I'd have to confess it. Fred Grant’s words had taught me that much. I’d learned a long time ago to do what he said, and not what he did. No, Mrs. Harlow, your daughter and I are not engaged. I'm sorry I lied to you. And her. And, well, everyone, really. "What's up?"
She smiled. A loving, proud, grateful smile that cut me so deep I almost missed the words she spoke next. "Thank you." The corner of her mouth twisted wryly. "I know I don't have the whole story yet. But I can see with my own eyes how good you are to her." She gave me one more grateful nod, then turned away.
Frozen to the spot, I could only watch her disappear into the room. There was a chorus of greetings, a burst of applause. And then, above the din, louder than it had any right to be, floated Claire's voice.
"Willa! Show us your ring!"
Chapter