My head was pounding.
I woke into pain and clear light. The bed was the size of the ocean, and I was drowning in it.
The careful ramp of pillows I had to build around myself to keep my arm propped had caved in sometime in the night, trapping me underneath a layer of down. I felt sticky and gross in my clothes from yesterday and I was so hungry from skipping dinner that my stomach felt hollow.
I could only pray that it was early enough that Cooper wouldn’t see me like this.
I’d heard him last night. I woke right up out of a sound sleep when he’d come right to the foot of the stairs and then stopped. I’d braced myself for him to come to my room and try to say… something. Accuse me of something else. Fuck with my mind some more. I’d pulled the covers over my head and feigned sleep.
And I’d hoped he’d come up.
But he didn’t.
I wiggled free of the bed, bracing myself against the pain in my ribs. But they felt… mildly better. For the first time in over a week, I felt like I could take a deep breath. It almost made up for the deep itch that was setting in under my cast.
I nudged the door open with my toe and it swung silently on its hinges. No telltale squeaks, thank god. I was well versed in walking noiselessly. Living in a single-wide trailer with two other people teaches you how to move silently and also how to sleep through anything. And from the look of the light outside, I’d slept through most of the morning.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done that.
My toes sank into the deep, snow white carpet, further muffling my steps as I crept down the stairs in search of food. I padded on the balls of my bare feet across the wide great room with its high-beamed ceiling. I stared upwards, taking in the way the light slanted down from the skylights.
I looked back down and my heart stopped. The screech came before I could stop it. “Jesus!”
“Fuck!” Cooper dropped something—a water glass?—and it hurtled toward the floor. We both shouted as it fell, expecting it to explode into a million shards. But it bounced - it actually bounced - on the carpet, sending a few errant drops out to speckle the bright whiteness, and landed intact. “Holy hell, that was close,” he breathed, reaching up to rub the back of his neck with his hand. He glanced at me, his face registering surprise at the fact that I was still in my clothes from yesterday. “You scared the shit out of me. Why are you creeping around like that?”
“I didn’t want to wake you up.”
“I’ve been awake for a while now. I’ve never been much for sleeping in.” He narrowed his eyes. “Also, it’s almost noon.”
That surprised me. I’d always figured Cooper for someone who lazed in bed most weekends. There was that, and what he was wearing.
Or rather, wasn’t wearing.
A pair of faded gray sweats - the warmup pants from the high school football team, I realized with a jolt - hung precariously from his lean hips. And… that was it. The rest of him, from the strangely graceful arch of his feet to the alarmingly broad expanse of his chest, was out. Naked. On display. And gorgeous.
My mouth went dry and I couldn’t seem to form saliva, then suddenly I was forming way too much and had to swallow quickly before I started drooling. “I’m not either,” I said. I’d spent way too much time staring at him for this to make sense. “For sleeping in, I mean. I don’t know what happened this morning…”
“You needed to sleep,” he corrected gently. The fact that Cooper Grant was shirtless and speaking gently to me made me breathe so hard my ribs were starting to ache again.
I blinked and darted past him, charging to the kitchen. That water was going to soak into the padding underneath that gorgeous rug, and how awful would that be? The last thing I wanted was for Liam to think we were so careless. I looked around in vain for paper towels anywhere, and finally gave up and yanked the pretty hand towel off the front of the gleaming oven. I rushed back and made to kneel down to blot at the fading spots.
“What the hell are you doing?"
I let the towel fall from my hand. And it surprised the hell out of me that I even did that. I wanted to bend right down and snatch it back up again and pretend the expression on his face wasn't bothering me at all. But I couldn't bend well anymore and he moved way too fast for me to do anything other than glare right back at him. "Nothing," I said. I sounded like a petulant child instead of the strong, capable, thoughtful woman I thought I was being.
“Jesus,” he hissed, snatching the towel up and blotting half-heartedly at the spill. “You have a broken arm.”
“I’m fine.” This was not technically true. There were spots swimming up in my vision.
“You look like you’re about to pass out.”
I stood up straighter and blinked against the spots. “I’m just hungry.”
“Well.” He stood back up, snapping the towel and settling it across his shoulders, which somehow only emphasized how broad they were. “I was going to run out and deal with this, but then I didn’t want you waking up and thinking I left you here all alone. There’s like… no food.”
I was still trying to catch up with the fact that he’d been worried about me being frightened when I woke up and had been hanging around hungry - and shirtless - for hours rather than risk me waking up alone. So it took me a minute to process what he’d said. “Wait, there’s nothing for breakfast?”
He shrugged. “We probably should have stopped on the way here, but you were asleep then too, so…” His lip quirked up in a half-smile, the kind of teasing yet self-deprecating grin I’d started waking up every morning at the hospital hoping I’d see. And now I was seeing it atop his shirtlessness. It was like the cherry on top of a very tall, broad ice cream sundae.
“That seems to be a theme.” I was also smiling now. I couldn’t help it.
“I can run to town now.”
“You don’t have to go by yourself.”
“Why not?” He seemed genuinely confused. Until his blue eyes gleamed with mischief. “I won’t pick out crap. What’s the matter, you don’t trust me with the groceries?”
It seemed like an innocent question, except he’d landed heavily on the word “trust.” The way his mouth twisted gave him away. “Was that… an apology?”
“For what?” His eyes snapped again. “Would you accept it if it was?”
“Pretty shitty apology.”
“I’m not good at them.” He shrugged. “Haven’t had much practice since I’m never wrong.”
“You’re not wrong here either. I don’t trust you…” I lifted my chin and let the pause hit him before finishing. “With the groceries.”
He chuckled. “I deserved that.” He looked down. “I’ll go get changed.”
Please don’t, I didn’t say. Instead I looked down at my clothes. “I should too.”
“Yeah, uh, I was going to say something, but…” He curled a hand around the back of his neck. “Do you need a hand?”
“With what?” I hoped my innocent tone masked the fact that my whole body was suddenly on fire.
“I won’t look. I’ll keep my eyes closed.” Another one of those grins played about his mouth. “Right here is where I’d usually make a joke about how I can take a woman’s clothes off with my eyes closed but I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t appreciate it.”
“With your eyes closed, huh?” I licked my lips. “Can you do it one handed too?”
“No, that’s you.”
I burst out laughing. “You’re the worst, you know that?”
“Then why are you still wearing that ring, huh?”
I’d forgotten it completely, but now that the question had landed I felt the weight of it around my finger. It was a tiny sliver of metal, but it might as well have been a gold bar.
Cooper looked down and slipped his palm against mine, turning it over. I held my breath as he lifted my right hand to his lips, then let it out in a rush when he bent down and pressed a gentle kiss over my left hand. Over the ring. His lips were warm, and firm, and even though the kiss was gentle, there was no hesitation behind it. It was a kiss that was meant to start something.
Suddenly I wanted nothing more.
He let my hand go. I lifted my face to his and waited. His eyes swept across mine and then dropped to my lips, lingering there as I held my breath and waited for another one of his bruising kisses. This time I wouldn’t pull away. This time I would kiss him in return.
“Turn around,” he said.
My heart beat jaggedly against my ribs. Shame burned my cheeks as I realized he’d seen everything - my eagerness, the easy way I’d let go of my dignity - all in the hope that he’d kiss me again. All the cruel things he’d said to me, all of the terrible things he believed I’d done—I’d been willing to let it all slide.
Furious with myself, I did what he said. I hated that I needed his help. I hated that I had to be grateful.
And I hated that he was undressing me out of pity instead of desire.