I hated packing lunches. I hated doing it for myself when I was the one going to school. And I hated it even more now that I had to guess at the changing whims of a cool-obsessed nearly-eight-year-old who seemed hell-bent on making me go prematurely gray.
Sometimes, when I closed my eyes, I could transport myself right back to the cabin and the dreamy, perfect days I’d spent cut loose from everything real.
Then I’d open them again and find myself in a cluttered, cramped trailer packing my brother’s book bag for his last full day of school.
The cabin was a fantasy.
This was my reality.
"What do you want in your lunch tomorrow?" I called for what felt like the fiftieth time in the past five minutes. I was standing in front of the fridge, staring at the lackluster pickings. How did my mother do this every night? Part of me desperately wanted to call and ask. "Jake!” I shut the door and hollered down the small hallway. "This house is tiny, and I know you heard me. Get out here and tell me what you want for lunch tomorrow. I'm not having you throw it away again."
When I'd brought up having to pack Jake's lunch for him as a consequence of my mom not being home until close to eleven, she'd just shrugged. "Make him do it then. He’s old enough.“
Yeah right. "Jake!"
My brother finally emerged from his bedroom with that sleepy, innocent look on his face he always wore when he knew I was ready to blow my stack. "Sorry, I had my earbuds in."
"I'm going to throw that phone in the trash," I fumed. I closed my eyes and tried to find my happy place and was surprised that it looked just like a rocky mountainside stream dappled in sunlight. I snapped my eyes back open again before I started blushing. "Tell me what you want me to put in your lunch, please," I said in much more measured tones.
"Can I buy instead?" Jake asked.
I narrowed my eyes. "Mom said no already, didn't she?" I glanced at the school lunch calendar stuck to the messy fridge front with a magnet in the shape of a lobster. "You don't even like taco salad."
"Yes, I do!"
I raised a skeptical eyebrow. "I have never seen you willingly eat lettuce in your life."
"No, it's fix your own and Brycen does this thing where he makes a volcano out of the meat and then it - " he paused to catch his breath and then dissolved into laughter again. "It's a cheesy volcano and it erupts melted goo all over the place, and last time it got in Raelynn's hair and she freaked out, but Ashley was laughing too." Saying Ashley's name made his eyes glow and I caught him unconsciously covering his scarred hand.
I sighed. He just wants to fit in. “Go get my purse."
Jake jumped up and down, then seemed to remember he was a big kid of nearly nine and not a cute little pogo-stick anymore. He rushed to the pile by the door, then remembered his manners. "Thanks, Willa," he recited, then knelt to paw through my purse and grab my wallet.
"Bring it here. You don't take money out of people's wallets, it's rude." He was so overjoyed that he didn't even argue. I shuffled the receipts around until I unearthed enough quarters to make a full two dollars and fifty cents out of the change, then handed it to him. "Guard it with your life," I instructed.
Jake gave me a smart nod and then dashed back into his room.
I sighed and closed the fridge. At least I didn't have to pack his lunch anymore? Now if I could only afford to hand him lunch money all the time. And I had a whole summer of lunch battles stretching out in front of me.
I sighed. The cabin seemed very, very far away.
As if it knew I needed to be derailed from that depressing train of thought, my phone buzzed on the counter. I grabbed it without looking, fully expecting to hear Mom's apologies about being asked to work even later.
Instead, I heard a voice that made the goosebumps on my arms rise with only one word. "Hey."
Instantly my grubby, cluttered kitchen fell away. I was back at the cabin, breathing the crisp, clean air and leaning back against his broad, warm chest. It still felt like something out of a dream. And I'd have believed that it was just that - a beautiful dream - except he was calling me right now.
"Cooper." I couldn't control the soft, girlishness of my voice. And I didn't want to either. "Hey," I breathed. Just hearing his voice made me smile so wide, I felt like my face might split.
"Can't wait to see you tonight."
Instantly my smile fell. "Tonight?" I wracked my brain. Had we made plans? Things weren't exactly nailed down when I left the cabin, but I didn't think I'd fucked up quite so bad that I'd forgotten a date or something. Since we were - oh God - dating.
He chuckled. "It's Thursday."
I exhaled. Thursday. Our standing get-together at the Crown Tavern. I hadn't been in almost a month. Not since Liam left town. Not since the accident. Not since... Cooper.
Tonight, my friends would be getting together like we'd been doing since we were old enough to force Ethan's cousin to slip us drinks underaged. It was something that had been going on for years and showed no sign of changing.
Not even when everything else was changing around it.
I was broke as shit. I was watching my brother. I was still sore and tired from healing. These were all good excuses as to why I didn't want to see my friends tonight. But none of them were as pressing as the real reason.
I was... sort of for-real dating Cooper Grant now.
"Oh my God." I tried to laugh to hide my awkward stammering and backpedaling, lest he figures out why I was silently freaking out. "I guess I'm all thrown off. I have no idea what day it is."
Cooper picked up on what was bugging me immediately. Of course. "It's not going to be weird," he reassured me.
I licked my lips. "You sure?"
Cooper laughed. "They barely blinked when we were fake engaged. Why would they get weird about us dating for real?"
How could I explain that feeling I had? I'd tried to do it back up at the cabin, but words had failed me, and his kisses made me too dizzy and delirious to hold on to anything for long. "We're dating for real," I echoed, hoping to make it sound more firm in my brain.
Cooper sighed. "We are." I hated the small hitch of hurt in his voice. "I know we didn't get the best of starts—"
"The cabin was nice," I rushed in before he could start apologizing. That wasn't what I wanted. I... Well, I had no idea what I wanted other than to stay floating in the protective bubble of Liam's cabin. Where he and I weren't Cooper and Willa with all our shared history. Where our friend’s questions, and raised eyebrows, and skeptical glances from over the top of a pint glass had no chance of piercing the shimmering surface of the fragile thing that was holding us together. "We just need to keep the cabin with us now that we're back in Crown Creek though, right? No matter how hard it is?"
"It's not hard," Cooper said. And he had such an air of finality about it that I forced myself to pin my lips tightly together rather than contradict him.
"No, it isn't."
"So I'll see you tonight? Do I need to pick you up?"
"No, I can walk..." I started to say then caught myself when I heard his grunt of disapproval. I cleared my throat. "Okay."
"Damn straight." He seemed like he was on the verge of saying something else, but I had no idea what it could be. "See you soon, baby."
A little jolt sizzled through my body and I was right back to smiling so wide it hurt. "Don't call me baby."
"You love it." I could practically see the arrogant roll of his eyes and dammit if he wasn't right. "My baby's chariot will arrive at ten o'clock sharp."
I nodded, and then remembered. "Shit, Cooper, could you make it ten thirty?"
He paused a moment. "You want to make an entrance or something?"
"Why do you sound upset?"
"I'm not."
"It's not a big deal, you can come at ten if you need to, I was just worrying about overlap. My mom's shift change."
He hissed out a long breath. "Right. Sorry. I forgot about that. Ten thirty it is." The smile was back in his voice, to my relief. "Tell Jakey to get his ass in bed early for me, okay?"
I laughed. "He'd only do it for you, he doesn't listen to me." I took a deep breath. "Thanks, Cooper."
"For what, baby?"
I opened my mouth to tell him, but he'd already hung up the phone.