Cooper probably had no idea. I could imagine him thinking that he had me fooled, that I bought his brave act.
But I knew. I knew what it cost him to walk into the Crown and announce that everything had changed. That he and I - we'd changed. I knew what squaring his shoulders and putting his arm around me in front of everyone meant. It meant that Cooper was letting go of the past.
We brought the cabin with us.
I glanced up at him one more time before we took our seats - next to each other. His clear blue eyes, the strong, square set of his jaw, the blunted tip of his straight nose - they were all just as beautiful as they always were, but it felt like I was seeing something else in there. Something I couldn't name.
But something I really, really liked.
"So." Claire was the first to speak. Of course. She leaned way over, resting her elbows on the table. "Let me see if I've got this straight. The engagement was fake, but this?" She gestured to Cooper's arm around me and the way I pressed up against him. "This is the real thing?"
I nodded just as Cooper said, "We did it a little backward." He glanced over at me. "Took the long way around, maybe?"
"On foot," I added with a grin.
"Ooh too soon," Ryan laughed. "Oh wait, is it? I guess it's not if you're the one making the joke."
I lifted my left arm in its sling. "Once this comes off, you can all feel free to make whatever bad jokes you feel compelled to make. But until then, yes, I reserve the right to call myself an idiot, but not allow any of you to do the same."
"Well there goes my plans for the rest of the night," Claire cracked as she pushed back from the table. "Wait, can I still call you an idiot for dating Cooper?"
"Why not? I do," Cooper shot back.
Claire turned down her lips in a not-bad frown. "She must be good for you, Coop. You're getting quicker on the uptake."
"She keeps me on my toes." Cooper smiled at me and I knew what was coming next. "And I keep her off of hers."
I rolled my eyes. "Gross," Sadie declared. "Wait, that was a sex joke, right?"
"What? I was talking about giving her rides.” Cooper feigned innocence. "What the hell were you talking about?"
Sadie burst out laughing. Claire laughed louder and suddenly that was it. The ice had broken, and then it thawed and suddenly it was a normal Thursday night out with the same friends I'd had my whole life. Except it was better because Cooper spent most of the night maneuvering to touch me one way or another. Mostly he rested his hand on my shoulder, pulling me close again whenever I leaned too far forward to make a point or shout down Ryan when he was being an ass. As much as I loved that, it was the smaller touches that really drove home that this was real. The way he idly tucked my curls behind my ear when he was facing me. The way he kept his eyes on me whenever I spoke, flitting between my eyes and my lips and then smiling when I caught him.
That was the night I finally felt like I could breathe again. For so many reasons. The pain in my ribs was lessening every day, for sure. But something else was there too. An easing of a tightness in my chest that I’d been living with for so long I’d been unaware it was there.
It never occurred to me how much it bothered me to be hated for something I didn’t do. “I can’t believe you’re staying!” Avery crowed as we neared closing time. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out this late.”
I grinned and raised my beer, savoring the sweet freedom from being careful. “I know! For some reason, I’m not feeling as tired as I usually do!”
“I mean, I can help with that,” Cooper murmured in my ear.
I blushed, both from his words and from the sheer freedom of finally getting to be myself. I’d spent so much energy building up walls around myself thick enough to protect me from Cooper’s scorn that I’d always been the first one to leave our get-togethers. The strain of keeping an eye on Liam, protecting him the way I’d always tried to, while also straining under the weight of what everyone thought I’d done to him had turned me into a relentless, fun-killing nag.
At the end of the night, as Taylor shouted and waved his broom at us to herd us all out the door, I went up on my tiptoes and kissed Cooper’s cheek. “What was that for?” he wondered.
“For making me so damn happy.”