“And he should be in bed by eight-thirty, lights out by nine. He can have one drink of water, but he’ll keep asking for more, so remind him that -.”
“Willa,” Ruby interrupted gently. “Go.”
I licked my lips and swayed uncertainly by the front door. Jake was already in his pajamas and yawning sleepily in front of a Power Rangers DVD from the library. He seemed wholly unfazed that I was leaving.
I was the one who was a mess. “I’ll be right in town,” I promised Ruby. “So you call me if anything happens, or if you have any questions…”
“I’ll be fine.” Ruby shook her head and smiled fondly at me. “What do you have planned for tonight?”
I took a deep breath. And then stopped short.
In all of my worry about leaving Jake, I had forgotten to actually come up with someplace to go. “Oh, I’m just going to poke around in town, I guess,” I said, hoping my smile didn’t seem forced. “You sure you’re okay with me taking your car?”
“Jonah said he’d stop by later once Jake is in bed. You can even keep it tomorrow if you need it, he’ll take me home.”
I grinned at her. “I’m not sure how I feel about you inviting boys over when you’re babysitting for me.”
Ruby laughed and gave me a shove toward the door. “Your mom already said it was fine. She even said she was leaving a six pack in the fridge for us to share, so…” She bopped me on the nose. “Overruled and out-mommed by your own mom. Now go.”
She was laughing as she shoved me out the door, but my own smile was less happy and more frantic.
What the hell was I supposed to do now? I slipped behind the wheel of Ruby’s tidy little two-door, and just breathed for a second.
When was the last time I’d been alone? I couldn’t remember, but sure it wasn’t a skill you lost, right? Like riding a bike.
I started Ruby’s car and then adjusted the mirrors. “Okay,” I said aloud. “There’s nothing wrong with this. You want this. You’ve been hoping for a night like this for ages.” I glossed over the fact that I was talking to myself and turned around then headed into town.
I was heading for the Chit-Chat Cafe right up until I remembered it was only open for breakfast and lunch. The Crown Tavern was always an option, of course. But the idea of sitting there in a space where I’d been so happy… and then been so sad….
I slid past the neon lights in the windows without even looking at it dead on.
I drove aimlessly, up and down the streets of town. There was no place that wasn’t soaked in some kind of memory. There wasn’t a single house, tree, or street corner that didn’t have a significant moment attached to it. And somehow, every single significant moment led my thoughts right back to Cooper.
In the end, I pulled into the Royal Diner. There was a ball of numb anger resting right in the pit of my stomach. I was nearly twenty-three years old, I should be okay with spending time by myself. But loneliness was a raw, hollow place in my chest. I felt sick.
And when I felt sick, I always wanted my mom.
She was in there bustling around, working far harder than a woman her age should. But she still had a surprised smile for me when I stood hesitantly by the hostess stand.
“Hey, Willa.” Francie, the hostess, had hair the exact same color as a carrot. “You want to sit in her section?”
I did, more than anything. But old habits died hard. “She looks swamped,” I said. “Just put me wherever.”
“Suit yourself.” Francie grabbed some menus - as if I’d need them - and walked me back to the far corner. I stared at her in confusion when she gestured to a booth. “You sure? This seats six.”
“You ain’t havin’ your friends meet up with ya’?” I blinked and shook my head no. She waved her hand. “No matter. If we get a crowd, I’ll just ask you to move, right? Take care, hon.”
Feeling more miserable than I thought possible, I sat down alone at the ridiculously huge table and waggled my fingers at my mom from across the restaurant. She smiled apologetically back, then set a heavy tray down in front of a table of eight. I kicked my legs against the bottom of the booth, just like I did when I was little.
Mom hurried over as soon as her table was served. “Fancy seeing you here. You checking up on me?” she asked with a tired smile.
I looked up at her, surprised. “Honestly? No. Ruby’s with Jake and I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go.”
My mom’s mouth twisted a little. “I wish you’d come last night, it was Deadsville around here and I could have used the company. But honey, I’m swamped over there. Tourists from Reckless Falls. I think they’re lost.”
“I know, Mom. It’s fine.”
She stood there worriedly for a moment. “I’ll get you some pie,” she said and disappeared around the counter.
She came back with a slice so buried under whipped cream I had no idea what flavor it was supposed to be. “Cherry,” she said as she set it down. “It pretty much cures everything.”
I lifted my fork and tried to look excited. “Perfect.”
She tugged one of my curls. “Boing,” she said softly before rushing off to grab another order.
I dragged the tines of my fork through the whipped cream, idly tracing hatch marks across the top of it. I wanted to enjoy it so badly, but the first bite was completely tasteless. And the second one was too. True to form, my mother had given me way too big of a piece. There was no way I could finish this by myself.
Cooper would have gobbled it up in three bites. His appetite for sweets was only matched by his appetite for… well…
I flushed and set my fork down. I wasn’t going to spend my first night out alone thinking about Cooper. No way.
I rummaged in my purse until I found my phone. My thumb hovered over the contact. I took a deep breath. It was better than sitting here miserably choking down a huge piece of pie all alone. I hit Call.
“Will?” Liam answered on the first ring. “Everything okay?”
Another flush rushed through me, this time from embarrassment. “Hey, yeah, no everything’s fine. Sorry, it’s been a while since I last called.”
“It’s fine,” he chuckled. “I kind of figured I was in the doghouse anyway after Claire read me the riot act. I was actually happy you were out living your life and not worried about checking up on me.”
I looked down at my hands. “I was. For a while anyway.”
He hummed a noncommittal murmur. “What are you up to now, then?”
“I actually have a night to myself, can you believe it?”
“No. Not for a minute. Are you sure I’m talking to the right Willa Harlow?”
I laughed. “Yeah, you can be sure of that, because I’m spending it at the Royal.”
“Is your mom there?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh Will.”
“I know. “ I clapped my hand to my forehead. “It’s too sad for words. Here it’s the first night I’ve had to myself… maybe ever… and I’m at the Royal Diner trying and failing to eat a piece of cherry pie.” I laughed because it sounded even more ridiculous when I said it out loud. “What is wrong with me, Liam?”
Liam laughed gently. “Oh a whole lot of things, but they’re all reasons I love you. You’re really all alone though?”
“In a booth meant for six.”
“How long do you plan on staying?”
“No idea.” I stared at my plate. “Ruby’s with Jake until eleven, but I don’t know if I can make this pie last that long. I might go home early.”
“Don’t,” he barked.
“What?”
“Use the time. And, uh…” His hand must have covered the mouthpiece for a sec because his voice went all muffled. “Hey, Willa? I gotta… go… real quick.”
“Um, sure. Okay. Bye then.” The line went dead without him saying goodbye.
I sat there in silence and tried to swallow down the lump that had suddenly formed in my throat. I dragged the fork through the whipped cream again, and then stabbed it into the pie and forced a big chunk into my mouth. Swallowing around the tight tears that were clogging my throat gave me something to be angry about, and I was grateful for that because the other option was to burst into pathetic tears. Slowly, mouthful by tasteless mouthful, I forced myself to sit there and eat that damn pie until it was gone.
“That good, huh?” My mother was suddenly at the table again. “Here. I snagged you another one before those a-holes at table eight hogged it all.”
She grabbed my plate before I could swallow and stop her, and bustled back off again, leaving me another slice of pie covered in drifts of canned whipped cream.
Now I was really going to cry. I stared helplessly at the plate in front of me, feeling the sting of tears as they rose to my eyes.
But right as they were poised to start falling, a familiar diesel rumble made me sit up straight.
Cooper’s black truck was pulling into a spot just outside of my window.