Chapter Twenty-Six

Trex

The fireplace was crackling, two big red stockings with white fur trim and a tiny, sweater-knit cream-colored stocking with red ribbon trim hung from the mantel. I’d ordered them just after we moved in, our names embroidered at the top, even Maddie’s. Hers read MADDIE ROSE even though Darby hadn’t agreed to the middle name yet. I was already attached to it, and Darby had stopped arguing after I’d hung the stocking.

The room was dim, and Darby was relaxing on the couch with her bare feet in my lap, her belly bouncing as she giggled at the sight of me trying to paint her swollen toes.

“What?” I said, smiling but trying to concentrate. “Hold still! I’m already terrible at this. It’s that much harder with your feet shaking every time you laugh at me.”

“I can’t help it.” She took out her phone and snapped a picture.

I looked up. “Really?” I deadpanned.

Darby cackled, and I shook my head, trying again. It didn’t bother me in the slightest, but Darby got so much enjoyment from giving me a hard time, I pretended it did. After I finished, I’d put cuticle oil on her toes and rub her feet, and she would lie back and look serene and happy. I loved that part, our quiet nights at home before she went to work. Life doesn’t get better than this.

Darby’s phone rang in her hands. She looked down at the display and then showed me. Unknown Number was listed at the top.

I reached out, gesturing for the phone. Darby reached as far as she could, huffing when she sat back. I slid my thumb across the bottom to answer. “Hello?”

Someone was breathing on the other end of the line. It wasn’t a pocket dial. Whoever had called her was waiting.

“Who is this?” I asked.

More breathing. Not the kind you’d expect from a pervert or a bored punk kid. Just waiting. Listening.

“Who is it?” Darby asked.

The breathing stopped, and the call ended. I frowned at the phone. “No one.” I’d be calling Val for another favor, even though I owed her ten.

“You, Stavros, Ander, and Maya are the only ones who have my number. And the doctor’s office.” She smiled at saying the last part.

She was so proud to finally have a number to give them, and they were relieved she had access to a phone. Dr. Park had finally warmed up to me, trusting my intentions. I used my lunch hour to sit with Darby at every appointment, glad that it didn’t make a difference to the general. Bianca hadn’t even asked about specifics. They only knew that my girlfriend was pregnant.

Darby turned to look at the large clock hung in the kitchen. “This is the only thing I dislike about my job. Hospitality is three hundred sixty-five days a year. It’s Christmas Eve, the fire is going, and I have to start getting ready for work soon.”

“Have you talked to Stavros yet?”

“I can’t,” she said, an edge of whining in her voice. “Tilde is still in hospice. She’s lasted a month longer than they thought. She’s going to go at any time.”

“How is she looking?” I asked. Darby visited almost every day.

“Like a skeleton. She sleeps most of the time. It’s cruel. Trex? Don’t let me…Don’t let that happen to me, okay?”

I put her feet gently on the floor and then snuggled up to her. She didn’t talk about our future very often, and she had no idea the way it made me feel. Even talking about the frightening end was a comfort, knowing she would let me love her every day of the in-between.

“We’re going at the exact same time, in our beds, warm and happy.”

“I mean it.”

“I won’t,” I promised. “I’d never let anything bad happen to you.”

Darby seemed satisfied with that, and she relaxed against my shoulder. We interlaced our fingers over her belly, laughing when Maddie rolled.

“Should we tell her?” I asked. “I mean…I was thinking, no one knows she’s not mine. We could…you could take my last name and that’s what would be on the birth certificate. It happens all the time.”

Darby was quiet for a long time, and I worried that I’d upset her.

“Unless you…unless you don’t want to,” I said quickly.

She looked up at me, a tear rolling down her nose. “Did you just ask me to marry you? Because that was terrible.”

She smiled, prompting me to breathe out a sigh of relief. “I can do it way better if you want.”

“I want,” she said.

“Really? You’d marry me?”

She nodded, and I leaned down to touch my lips to hers. I understood then why Kitsch pretended, why Harbinger went through months of therapy to be the best dad to his kids he could be. Family was everything. It was worth dying for, losing your mind over, and facing your greatest fears.

“I won’t make you wait long,” I said.

“T-minus five-point-five weeks, mister.”

“That’s not long to pull a wedding together.”

“Who needs a wedding?” she said with a tearful smile.

“You’re serious, then?” I asked. She nodded, and I kissed her again. “I told you your last name would be Trexler.”

Darby hugged me. She held me tight, like we hadn’t seen each other in a while. She pulled at me, pressing her cheek against mine. “I’m so happy, Trex. So, so happy. I’m so lucky you think I’m the one you’ve always loved. I hope I am. I’m going to try my best to be her.”

“She’s you. No doubt in my mind.” Right then. That’s when I should have told her. She was in a good mood, she knew we belonged together and that I was not like the other soldier she thought loved her. But it was Christmas Eve, and we were talking about marriage, and the last thing I wanted to do was admit that I had one more secret.

“We should tell her early that you adopted her, and you’ve loved her from the very beginning. If she ever found out from any way other than us, Trex…”

“You’re right.” I kissed her hair. “Of course you’re right. I get crazy ideas sometimes.”

“I like the part about her having your last name. About us having your last name.” Her smile turned into a frown.

“Second thoughts?” I asked.

She pressed on the side of her belly, the way she did when Maddie was stretching or growing or her tendons were stretching.

“Wow, your stomach is a perfect ball right now,” I said.

“It’s hard,” she said.

I reached over to touch it and then lifted her shirt, putting my hand against her skin. She was right. Her stomach usually had give except for where Maddie was, but the entire area was a solid rock. “Is this labor?”

“Braxton-Hicks.”

I nodded, relieved. “Good. We still have a few things to get yet.”

Maddie’s nursery was nearly complete, with a rug that looked like a bunch of roses in various shades of pink. The wooden crib was white, the walls white, the rocking chair and ottoman white, on the walls a gold wooden cutout that read MADDIE in script letters, surrounded by paper roses matching the rug. The crib sheet and throw pillow on the chair were the same pink floral material. It looked almost identical to a picture Darby showed me on Pinterest. I made sure she had everything she wanted. We had onesies, sleepers, a few dresses, and a closet full of outfits up to twelve months, socks, a few headbands, diapers, wipes, lotion, baby shampoo, baby fingernail clippers, and a blue plastic bulb that I had no clue what it was for, but Darby was sure we’d need it. The stroller was ready and in the front closet, the car seat already in the back seat of the truck.

The baby bag was packed and ready for the hospital and had been for a week.

“What else do we need?” she asked, stretching to make more room to take a breath.

“I’m sure there’s something,” I said. “I have this nagging feeling we’re forgetting something.”

Darby smiled. “You know Maddie won’t wait until we’re ready.”

I leaned down to kiss Darby’s bare skin and then covered her up. “I know. I just want to be prepared.”

“We’re prepared,” she said, looking around the house. “It really is a beautiful home. We have everything we need. I don’t know how this happened, but we’re really lucky.”

“Yes, I am,” I said. “So…I need to spring something on you.”

She arched an eyebrow.

“My parents have a church thing, but Hailey wants to visit tomorrow. She just told me today, but she hasn’t been over since the week we moved in, and I couldn’t tell her no.”

“Why would you tell her no? It’s your sister and it’s Christmas.”

“Because I hadn’t talked to you yet.”

“You don’t have to talk to me about your sister visiting. I love Hailey. She can come anytime.”

I let my head fall back. “I forget how laid-back you are. I don’t take it for granted.”

“Who would get mad about that?”

I sat up, remembering less blissful times. “Laura. She did not like surprises.”

“Well,” Darby said, touching her belly. “My whole life is one big surprise.” She stood. “I should get ready for work.”

“Wait! I have a Christmas Eve present for you.” I jogged over to the tree, then came back, sitting next to her. The box was small. “Spoiler alert: It’s not an engagement ring.”

She pulled on the white ribbon and popped open the lid. “Oh my gosh.” She pinched the white gold band and held up the ring to the light. Encircled with tiny diamonds, with just a single amethyst in the center that was the same size as the other stones. “Trex,” she said, sliding it on her middle finger.

It fit, and my chest puffed a bit.

Darby’s eyes glossed over. “What if she comes early?”

“I worked it out with the jeweler. He’ll just switch out the gemstone. Look at the inscription inside.”

She took it off and squinted, then covered her mouth with her free hand. “Madeleine Rose,” she read aloud. She put it on again and threw her arms around my neck as best she could over her belly. “I love it.”

“I love you,” I said, watching her sit back and wipe happy tears from beneath her eyes.

“I just got you a couple things for Christmas. And they’re not this special.”

“You’re here with me, in this house, beautiful and growing my baby. What else could I possibly need?” I asked.

She smiled, wiping her eyes again, then looking down at the ring. “This is not what I had planned for myself. I didn’t want it. I had no idea you and Maddie and everything we’re building would make me happier than I’ve ever been…would make me feel at home more than I ever have.”

I brushed back the honey strands from her face and cupped her jaw. Her cheeks were a little fuller, rosier than before, and her lips, nose, fingers, and feet were puffier. I’d never seen a woman more beautiful, had never felt the love of a woman so kind, and somehow, I made her happy.

She leaned over to kiss my palm, closed her eyes as her lips lingered against my skin for a bit, and then she worked to push herself off the sofa. “I’m going to find a tent to pull over my body, and then I should head to work. Oh, and don’t forget after this appointment, they’re every week.”

I nodded. “Already asked off.”

She bent down to kiss my lips. “Already a good daddy.”

She waddled toward the bedroom, and I sat stunned, unable to respond. My eyes filled with tears, and I wiped them quickly, clearing my throat. I never knew how much I’d needed to hear that. My father had been so fucking deplorable, and it wasn’t until that moment that I realized I’d needed to be freed from the fear that I’d be the same—a fear I didn’t know I had. “Thank you,” I said to an empty room.

The white Christmas lights twinkled, casting a warm, white glow against the orange that flickered from the fireplace. The entire living room was bathed in a soft light and I felt damn near euphoric. An engagement ring was on the agenda the second the stores opened after Christmas. I needed to marry that girl.

I sat back and relaxed, hearing Darby hum a lullaby to Maddie as she dressed. Her cell phone buzzed, the lit display catching my eye. It was from Stavros, updating Darby on Tilde.

“Baby,” I called, picking up her phone. “Stavros texted you. It’s something about Tilde.”

“Read it to me, please.”

I tapped the message with my finger and opened the text. I spoke loud so Darby could hear me. “Tilde passed away an hour ago surrounded by friends and family. Thank you for spending time with her in her final days. I know she appreciated it. Funeral day and time will be announced soon.”

Darby stepped out of the bedroom wearing only a robe and a stunned expression. I stood, holding my hands out to her. “Honey, I’m sorry.”

She held me tight, her fists gripping my shirt. I rocked back and forth, paying attention to her every breath and sniffle, waiting for her to let me know how she needed me.

“She’s with the Lord now,” she said. She let go of my shirt. “It’s hard to know you don’t believe that.”

“Either way, her suffering is over,” I said.

Darby nodded and then hugged me again, letting me bear her weight as I rocked her back and forth. “The last time I went to a funeral was Chase and Dad’s. It makes me a wreck to think about another one.”

“You don’t have to go. Stavros would understand. He might even be glad to have you at work instead, if it’s in the morning during Ander’s shift.”

“No, I should go. Will you go with me?”

“Of course,” I said, squeezing her gently. “You know I will.”

She nodded and returned to the bedroom, walking more slowly this time, the bounce gone out of her step. Her phone felt cold and heavy in my hand. I looked down at the display, still curious about the unknown caller. Shawn being in the area twice in as many months had me on edge. Val was keeping an eye on him, but she had also found his whereabouts were being hidden. His brother Derek was likely helping him. She was also looking into that, but she wasn’t a computer genius and we had to be careful who we asked for help.

Even though we’d been careful, something didn’t feel right. I knew it was Shawn on the other end of the line. My thumb hovered over the phone button, and before I could stop myself, I clicked on Recent Calls. I scrolled down, seeing she’d gotten a call from an unknown number twice before.

I opened the garage door, used my key fob to start my truck so it would be warm for Darby, and went into the living room and sat, keeping an eye on the bedroom doorway. I scrolled through my contacts and hit Val’s name, then waited.

“Aw,” she said. “Did you call me to say Merry Christmas?”

“That, too,” I said. “How’s it going?”

“It’s going. How about you? How’s the new house?”

“Really good.”

“Oh yeah? That’s great. Congratulations. I’m still in the apartment.”

“Is your husband still there?” I asked.

“Of course he is. Whoever moves out loses the apartment. That’s why the divorce hasn’t been finalized yet. He wants the apartment.”

“But it was yours. Sawyer moved in with you, right? And if he liked the apartment and living with you so much, he probably shouldn’t have fucked Agent Davies.”

“Yeah, well…you can’t talk sense into an idiot. And if you’re wondering, yes, he can hear me.”

“So…I was wondering. Any movement?”

“Some. Nothing concerning.”

“You still think the brother is interfering?”

“Without a doubt. Sawyer is on it.”

“Sawyer?”

“He’s our tracker, and he’s good. He knows his way around a computer. He’s not on Derek’s level, but he can see where Shawn’s current location has been erased. Derek could be helping him leave base.”

“We’re at a disadvantage.”

“For now,” Val said. Her confidence was comforting, but it wasn’t enough.

“He’s planning something, Val. We can’t afford to be two steps behind. She’s four weeks out from birth. I’m worried he thinks this baby is mine and he’s waiting for her to be separated from me—meaning once she has the baby—to get her back. To take her back. Or if he finds out somehow the baby is his—”

“Trex, she has six extremely dangerous Marines right there at her disposal. You’re smart. You may be on defense, but you’ve got a hell of a team.”

“Just do me a favor. Look him up one more time. It’ll ring some bells, but I don’t think it matters at this point.”

“Will do,” she said, hanging up.

I put down the phone and sat down on the sofa, rubbing my hands together. Val was right, but I didn’t want to wait until something happened to act. I had to locate Shawn, and…dark thoughts were running through my head, things I’d seen happen to civilians in villages or suspected spies; things I never wanted to think about again.

I’ll need rope, and lots of it.

“Trex,” Darby said from the bedroom doorway.

I looked up. “Hey, babe. You ready?” I could see that she wasn’t. She was lacking pants and her hair was piled on top of her head.

“What are you doing?” she asked, holding her stomach.

I looked around. “I’m just waiting for you to get ready.”

“You were on the phone.”

“Oh yeah. Just telling some old coworkers Merry Christmas.”

She closed her eyes, her lashes pushing tears down her cheek. She turned around and disappeared into the bedroom, closing the door.

I stood and followed her, knocking twice before entering. The room was dark, the only light coming from the bathroom. I went in, seeing her brushing her hair and crying.

“What’s wrong?”

“She was right. You can look me in the eyes and lie right to my face?”

“What? Who was right?” I asked, confused.

She shook her head, loose, blond curls shaking back and forth. “Will I ever be able to trust you? Can I trust anything you’ve said up ’til now?”

“Darby, I don’t understand…”

“Val. I heard you talking to her. When were you going to tell me? Shawn’s been here? You don’t get to decide what I know when it concerns my life and my safety!”

I held up my hands. “Okay, just a second, let me explain. You’re nearing the end of your pregnancy. You’re experiencing Braxton-Hicks more every day, increasing in frequency and strength. I’m not lying to you, I’m just not telling you things that could upset you. I’m trying to take care of this on my own so you can relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.”

She shook her head. “One of these days, Trex…you’re going to run out of excuses. You don’t have the right to keep that from me.”

She put on a little makeup and pants, slipped on her shoes, then stood by the door. She held her phone up, tapping on it.

“You ready?” I asked, feeling like a kicked dog.

“I’m getting a cab.”

“Darby, I’ll take you. It’s safer, anyway.”

She wiped a tear. “I should have followed my gut and moved.”

“Babe,” I chided. I slid my arms around her and buried my face in her neck. “I love you. I’m just trying to keep you and Maddie safe.”

She turned to me, pointing at me with her phone. “I don’t like that it’s so easy for you to lie to my face! What else are you not telling me?”

My mouth opened. Before, I didn’t tell her about my past because I didn’t want to ruin the moment. Now I was afraid she’d leave. I sighed. “Darby, I’ve told you everything I could. The rest doesn’t matter.”

“No, but being able to trust you does. Damn you for proving Lane right!”

She yanked open the door and waddled to the truck. I jogged after her, opening the door and helping her into the passenger seat. She put on her seat belt and faced forward. By the time I got behind the wheel, Darby was crying into her hands.

“Baby, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”

“So Shawn’s been here? He knows where I am?”

“The important thing is you’re protected. He won’t come near you.”

She wiped her eyes, and the expression I hadn’t seen in so long—since the beginning—had returned. She was guarding herself, against the pain, the fear, the stress of what Shawn might do. She crawled back into that hole and stayed there for the remainder of the ride to work. Even the Christmas lights on the houses between our house and the hotel didn’t bring her out. Her tears dried; the light in her eyes dimmed until it was completely gone.

I braked under the overhang and put the gear into Park. “Darby…”

“I’m okay,” she said, gathering her things.

“We’re in this together.”

“Actually, I have never felt more alone in my life.” As she climbed out of the truck, I turned off the ignition and followed her in.

Maya was just wrapping up, logging out of the computer system and hooking her purse strap over her shoulder. She looked exhausted.

“Where’s Lane?” Darby asked.

Maya shrugged. “She didn’t show up for her shift. Ander and Stavros are with the family, and you’re about to pop. So…I stayed.”

“I’m so sorry. She didn’t even call?”

Maya shook her head. “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta crash. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Merry Christmas, Maya. Drive safe,” Darby said, putting away her personal items, then logging into the computer.

We were alone in the lobby, the only sound the front doors sweeping open and sliding shut as Maya left. The air kicked on, making the ornaments hanging from the ceiling swing back and forth. I stayed silent while Darby set up her workstation.

She was determined not to speak to me, deciding my fate without my input. I chose to let her cool off, to sit across the lobby, maybe win some points by ordering us food too pungent for Darby to ignore, not that I felt like eating. I dialed in some Asian and texted Naomi while I waited.

She was as unsympathetic as I figured she’d be. Naomi had told me to be honest. I thought I could control the situation. I’d led teams out of much harrier situations than this, so I figured this hiccup with Darby brushing me off because I was military would be less complicated. I was completely wrong on all counts.

Once the food finally arrived, it took me eating and the smell to fill the lobby before Darby finally took her share to her desk. She ate in silence, keeping her eyes anywhere but me.

“Darby,” I said when she seemed to be finished.

She packed up her food. “Go away.”

I retreated to my chair, and I waited. All night I waited, hoping by the time her shift was over she would be more open to hearing my reasoning—or at least listening to me beg. An hour before her shift was up, I decided to try again.

“I know you’re angry,” I began.

“Angry? I feel betrayed, duped, manipulated…angry barely scratches the surface of what I’m feeling.” She was shaking as she spoke the words. “You knew exactly how I felt about you having Val poke around in my past.”

“I was trying to find out Shawn’s whereabouts, Darby.”

“How long have you known? When did he start coming to Colorado Springs?”

I shoved my hands in my pockets. “A while. I didn’t want to worry you.”

“You just completely disregard everything we’ve talked about, my feelings, my rights…you don’t own me, Trex. You don’t have the right to make those decisions for me.”

“No, I don’t own you. But I do love you, and that does give me the right to try to take care of you the best way I know how.”

She shook her head. “I can’t be with someone I can’t trust. Please go.”

“Darby!” My voice was louder than I’d meant for it to be, the shock coming out as anger. “I’m not leaving. We’re going to talk this through.”

The doors swept open, and Darby looked up with a pageant smile on her face that quickly morphed into fear. She blinked a few times, letting her gaze fall away from whoever had walked in. I turned to see two men, one that I recognized as the passenger in the white sedan parked at the hotel on Thanksgiving night.

“Merry Christmas,” the man said loudly, as if he was addressing a lobby full of people. He was in civilian clothes, but his hair was standard military length. His features were sharp, his chin long but square, and even though he was the shorter of the two, he was a solid six foot one. The light stubble on his jaw crowded his thin lips. I knew immediately who he was when he targeted Darby with his clear blue eyes. His pupils took up most of his irises, his long nose pulled down at the tip just slightly, a slight cleft chin. He looked like Kurt Cobain with a bad haircut.

I stepped closer to Darby. My Glock was in the glove box of my truck, too far away to be of any use.

Darby slowly reached down to the drawer beneath the cashbox, opened it four inches, enough to reach in and tap her nail once against a tiny pistol. I only glanced at it, but from what information I could gather in the second my eyes were drawn to the sound of her nail against metal, it looked like a late sixties model Baby Browning. I had no idea how she’d gotten hold of a weapon that easily cost more than seven hundred dollars, but there it was. Hopefully, if shit went down, it was loaded and ready to go.

“Shawn,” Darby said.

There was something on the edge of her voice I’d never heard before, something that excited Shawn. She was still afraid of him, and he fed off it. If I thought demons existed, he was one.

“It’s been a long time, bunny.”

“Don’t call me that,” she blurted.

Shawn rested his elbows on the desk and leaned in. She stepped back, and he smiled. “I’ve missed you. I don’t think you realize what it did to me when you left me at the altar. Took me months to even think clearly again.” He turned his gaze on me. “I’m Shawn. But you know that.”

“Trex,” I said, glowering at him.

“Nice to finally meet you, Trex. This,” Shawn said, gesturing to Darby, “is my fiancée. Maybe she’s mentioned it when you were fucking her.”

“Pretty sure you have to be engaged to call her that,” I said.

“Oh,” Shawn said, his voice smooth, “we’re engaged. We never got married, you see, so we’re still engaged.” He looked at Darby. “We should fix that, bunny.”

Darby recoiled.

“Leave,” I said.

Shawn cackled, walking away. “These Marines. So goddamn confident!” he said to his buddy. He covered his mouth. “Sorry, bunny. I know you don’t appreciate that word.” He walked back, returning his elbows to the desk and leaning in, looking straight into my eyes. “I’ve never liked Marines. Arrogant fucks.”

“Is that what you said to Naomi when she put that grunt on his back?” I looked at his friend. “Was that you? How’d that feel?”

Darby looked at me, confusion on her face.

My heart began to thump inside my chest, my breath getting faster to catch up. “Baby…”

Darby stepped back, looking as alone as she felt. Her trembling hands touched her beach ball–sized middle. “I want everyone to leave. You first,” she said to Shawn. She reached for the receiver of the hotel’s landline phone and held it up for everyone to see. Her voice sounded a bit braver than before, but her eyes stayed on the floor. “Or I’m calling the police.”

“What are the police going to do? What have they ever done?” Shawn asked, reaching for her.

She dropped the phone and stepped back, and I put myself between them. Darby was terrified, her entire body was shaking; her breath faltered.

“I’ll kill you if you touch her,” I said. “That’s not a threat. I will fucking slit your throat and shoot you in the face until there’s nothing left to identify.”

Shawn’s smile fell away, and he suddenly looked tired. He pointed at her stomach before he let his outreached arm fall to the desk. “Is it mine?”

It took a moment for Darby to speak. “She’s mine.”

“She?” Shawn said, his eyes glossing over. “It’s a girl?”

Darby nodded.

“Bunny—”

“Get the fuck outta here,” I growled. “She’s not going home with you. She didn’t marry you because you’re an abusive piece of shit.”

Shawn pointed at me. “Did you know he was a Marine, Darby? Do you know how many people he’s killed? Do you know why he and his ex really split up? He wasn’t nice to her. You should ask him about it sometime, not that he’d tell you the truth.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked.

“Do you know how his best friend really died?”

“Go fuck yourself,” I said.

Shawn pointed at me again. “He’s a lyin’ ratbag fucker, this one. You don’t have to go home with me, but you don’t want this guy. He’s nothing like you think.”

Darby’s red, wet eyes pleaded with me to deny it all, but I couldn’t deny that I was a Marine, and because of that, she wouldn’t believe the rest. Her bottom lip quivered, then she looked at Shawn, reaching again for the phone. She tapped out three numbers. “You have ten seconds.”

“Okay,” Shawn said, raising his hands.

I could hear the dispatcher on the other end answer. “Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?”

Darby watched Shawn leave, the white sedan peeling out of the parking lot.

The dispatcher repeated herself.

“Um, I’m at the Colorado Springs Hotel. There were a couple of guys here behaving suspiciously, but they left when I called.”

Darby vaguely explained the situation, leaving out that Shawn was her ex. When she hung up the phone, she covered her mouth, working to control her breathing.

I reached for her, but she pulled away. “Your turn.”

“Darby…”

“I’m leaving,” she said, her voice breaking. “I’ll get my things later. I’d appreciate it if you weren’t there while I do that.”

“No. Stop,” I begged. I didn’t know what else to say. I tried to appear calm, but on the inside, there were alarms, flags, and screaming; panic was about to take over. “Don’t believe him, Darby. Don’t let him do this to us. What he said wasn’t true.”

“Which part?” She wasn’t yelling. Her voice was quiet, emotionless. I didn’t feel truly afraid very often, but in that moment, I was terrified. She was speaking to me and looking at me as if she were a stranger.

“I was a Marine,” I began.

“It’s too late.”

“But I told you the truth about Laura,” I blurted out. “Matt died saving the rest of our team. He threw himself on a live grenade. I didn’t tell you I was a Marine because everyone at the hotel knew you were adamant about not dating a certain kind of guy.”

“It’s too late.”

“After you told me about Shawn, I was too chickenshit to tell you about my history with the military. I was afraid you wouldn’t want to see me again. Even after you were okay with me being a federal agent. Even after you warning me to be honest with you. There were a hundred times I could have told you, and every time I let my fear of losing you talk me out of it.”

“It’s. Too. Late.” She wasn’t crying. She began to organize her work space, acting as if I weren’t there.

“Baby,” I said, walking toward her.

She turned to face me, raising an eyebrow, clearly telling me without words not to come closer.

I swallowed. “We’re good together. All that…that’s my past, Darby. You’re my future. Maddie is my future. We’re going to get married. You’ll both have my last name. We’ll be happy. None of this will matter years from now.”

“Because we’ll only know what you choose to share?”

“No, because we love each other, we’re happy, and our kids are happy.”

“You should go,” she said, returning to her work.

“You said you were in this.”

“I was,” she said, finally a glimmer of emotion in her eyes. “All I asked for was honesty. You can’t trust me with the truth, and I can’t trust you to tell it. I won’t settle. I won’t. I don’t care how nice your house is or how much time I spent on the nursery or how much I love you. Maddie deserves better, and so do I.”

“Jesus Christ, Darby, I’m doing my best. You can’t just—”

“You did this, not me. I begged you to be honest with me! You chose this over and over.”

I felt the blood burn under my cheeks. “All I wanted was to protect you. I wanted you to feel safe. I made more than a few mistakes, but it wasn’t because I wanted to control what you knew and when you knew it. I did it because I was scared to lose you. That doesn’t mean you can’t trust me. It means you can count on me to stick around no matter what.” I tried to keep my voice calm. “You saw Shawn, emotions are high, you’re angry, I get it. But don’t tell me like I chose this. This isn’t what I want. There’s nothing like us, Darby. Two hours ago, we were happy. Our life was amazing. I want to be wherever you are. I belong where you are. Both of you. I’m yours. Yours and hers.”

“Please leave.”

Her words knocked the air out of me. “Shawn is here in the Springs, Darby. I can’t leave you here alone.”

She thought about that for a moment. “Doesn’t look like I have much choice.”

“What if I…What if I wait in the truck outside? Just to make sure. I won’t bother you.”

Her lips pressed together in a hard line, and I could see she wasn’t going to let her anger get in the way of common sense. “Fine.”

“You really want me to be gone when you come home?”

She looked me straight in the eyes. “Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll…I’ll send Naomi over to pick you up and keep an eye out. At least until we know Shawn has left town.”

“That’s probably a good idea.”

My shoulders sagged. “Where are you…Where are you going to go?”

She didn’t answer, and before falling into a bottomless pit of despair, I grasped at anger. “Let’s be clear. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to walk away from either one of you. You’re pushing me away.”

She tapped the keyboard, and I was sure it was just her nails on the keys.

“Darby.”

“Trex, just go!” she said, closing her eyes tight.

“Hailey…Hailey’s coming today,” I said, feeling tears burn my eyes. “I need you home. It’s Christmas, for fuck’s sake.”

“Don’t swear at me.” Her voice was so small. Her lashes pushed mascara-stained tears down her cheeks. She covered her mouth.

My phone began to sing Hailey’s ringtone. If it had been anyone else, I would have silenced it, but I knew she’d been planning to be on the road before sunrise and could be close if not already in town. I was afraid she was at the house and I wasn’t there.

I cleared my voice before answering. “Hailey?”

“Trex?” she cried. “Trex!”

My whole world stopped. “Are you crying? What’s going on?”

“He hit me!”

“What?”

“I was just in an accident! The guy at the intersection! He hit my car and I can’t get out!”

“Where are you? Never mind, I can pinpoint your location. Sit tight. I’m coming.”

“Hurry!”

“I’m coming!” I lowered my phone. “It’s Hailey. She’s been in an accident. I have to…I have to go.”

“Is she okay?” Darby asked. It was the first time she didn’t look like she hated me since Shawn left.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry, I have to go.”

“Go,” she said.

I met her gaze. That one word was her good-bye. As badly as I wanted to stay, I had to go to my baby sister. Walking away from her was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but I turned and ran to my truck, seconds later peeling out of the parking lot.