You look worse than me,” Maya said, dragging in holding a large coffee.
“Thanks,” I said, putting on my coat.
“Have you been crying?”
I rubbed my aching belly. I’d been suffering through Braxton-Hicks my entire shift. “No.”
The printer was vomiting paper from the nightly audit, and I’d just logged out of the system. I’d already booked my old room and coded a key card. I didn’t bother to tell Maya that I’d be back. At least that way I wouldn’t have to talk about it until then.
I waited for Naomi, and when she didn’t show, I called a cab. I assumed she was probably with Trex and his sister. Trex’s expression when he left played over and over in my mind. I talked myself in and out of moving out at least two dozen times during the night. My head and heart were still warring when I took a few empty boxes from the bar and walked out to meet the taxi. Winter blew its breath in my face the moment the doors opened. I put my hand on the door handle of the cab, when I heard a familiar voice say my name—the one I hate the most.
“Hi there, bunny. What are the boxes for?”
I stood across from Shawn, the air around me suddenly too thin to breathe.
He walked around the back, taking the boxes from my hand and handing them to one of two men standing just a few feet away. “Going somewhere?”
“Just…bringing those home.”
“No, you’re not.”
My eyes filled with tears, and I reached for the handle again. Shawn covered my hand with his, wrapping his free hand around my middle, burying his face in my neck.
“That’s not your home, bunny. Your home is with me.” He inhaled through his nose. “God, I’ve missed you.”
“Let me go,” I said. I was practically panting, but I couldn’t help it. Being in Shawn’s arms again was a nightmare I’d had many times since I got on the bus to Colorado Springs, and now I was living it again.
His fingers dug into my middle. “Come home with me, Darby. You leaving, everything I’ve been through since you left…it doesn’t matter anymore. We have a baby now. We’re going to be a family.”
I closed my eyes tight. “She’s…she’s not yours.”
He grabbed my hair and yanked my head back, and I cried out. “Fuck you, you fucking whore!” he growled.
The cab driver climbed out, nervous but determined not to stand by. “What are you doing?” he said in a thick accent. “You let her go!”
Shawn let go of my hair and grabbed my arm, pulling me with him.
“Hey!” the cab driver yelled. “I call the cops!”
The headlights of a white car lit up. Shawn opened the back door on the passenger side and shoved me into the seat. He pushed me over and sat down, slamming the door.
“Shawn,” the driver said, “this isn’t what we talked about, man.”
“Drive, you pussy, or I’ll put my fist through the back of your head.”
The driver slammed into reverse and stomped on the gas. I hit my forehead on the back of his seat, and then again on the window when he pulled forward and turned at the same time.
“Wh-where are we going?” I said. When he didn’t answer, I screamed, “Where are you taking me?”
“Shut up, you stupid bitch!” he screamed in my face. He sat back, hitting his forehead with the heel of his hand several times. He coughed a few times, then held my hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m just trying to think. Terry, go by her house.”
“You want to take her home?” the man in the passenger seat said. He was the biggest of the three, probably the one Naomi had put on his back at the bar Thanksgiving night.
“Drive by,” he said.
I worried Trex was there with Hailey. I had no idea what Shawn was planning. “Don’t hurt them. I’ll go with you.”
Shawn combed my hair from my face with his fingers. “You’re coming with me either way. We’re not stopping, bunny. Just driving by.” He smiled at me as if he hadn’t just kidnapped and manhandled me, like we were on an early Christmas drive.
I leaned away from him, trying to think of a way out of the car. If I jumped, I could hurt Maddie. There was nothing I could do until the car stopped. As Terry slowed at the next intersection, I put my hand on the handle.
Shawn held a knife to my stomach. “Don’t do that.”
I looked down. “Shawn…”
“I will put a hole right through you if you don’t sit in that fucking seat like a good girl. You hear me?”
I nodded quickly, hot tears streaming down my cheeks. Within ten minutes, we were driving into my neighborhood, passing the police station and our many neighbors. The sun was above the mountains, burning off the night clouds. The driveways were either empty or full of vehicles, everyone somewhere for the holiday. I sighed when I saw that Trex’s truck wasn’t in the drive.
Shawn reached over me, rolled down the window, and grabbed my phone.
“What are you doing?” I said, watching him toss my phone into the yard. “Why did you do that?” I cried.
He rolled up the window. “Let’s go home, Terry.”
Terry nodded, and I covered my face and cried.
“Did you fight with that poor bastard after I left? Were you pissed that he didn’t tell you about his time in the Marines?” Shawn asked.
I couldn’t answer. All I could do was cry into my hands. I did exactly what Shawn wanted. I told Trex I was leaving him, he was going to see the phone he’d bought me in the yard and think I’d decided not to take anything with me. It wouldn’t be the first time.
I held my stomach with both hands. It was hard as a rock again, tightening so much that it began to hurt—really hurt—for the first time. It wasn’t just aches and pains. I moaned, knowing it was probably too late, but I needed to calm down. I was going into labor. I breathed in through my nose and then breathed out, slow and controlled. The second time, Terry mentioned it to Shawn.
“She better not give birth in this car,” Terry said. “Not going to have that blood on my hands, too. You took it too far, Shawn. We’re all going down for what you did.”
“You said she wanted to come home,” the man in the passenger seat said.
Shawn frowned. “Fuck you, Todd. She does. Don’t you?” he said, looking at me and nodding toward the front seat.
I nodded. “What happened to his forehead?” I asked, staring at the bloody bandage taped to his hairline.
“T-boned a teenager.”
I closed my eyes. “Hailey?”
“We needed a distraction. I thought I was persistent. Jesus Christ. That leech was never going to leave the hotel. When Derek said the sister was on her way into town, we took the opportunity that was presented to us.” He squeezed my hand, noticing the ring on my middle finger. “What the fuck is this?”
“A Christmas present,” I said. “Is she okay?”
“From him?” Shawn said, the anger in his eyes returning.
I shook my head. “A coworker.”
Shawn laughed. “Wasn’t Lane, fucking whore.”
My bottom lip quivered. “Where is she? She didn’t show up for work.”
Shawn looked at the window, seeming nervous. The other men were quiet, too.
“Did you hurt her?” I asked.
“She was all for trying to fuck your guy. She was all for trying to piss you off and planting seeds to make you question him. She just wanted him,” Shawn said, spitting on the floor.
“C’mon, man!” Terry said.
“You fucking women. You make us think you want us until you get what you want. Nobody uses me.”
I kept my head down. “What did you do?”
“Taught her a lesson.”
“You were right. That was a nice piece of ass,” Todd said, laughing at his window.
“Is she okay?” I asked.
“Probably not,” Shawn said with a chuckle. “But you don’t worry about her. I don’t care about that slut. I’ve got you back. That’s all that matters. We’re going to get rid of that,” he said, pointing at my stomach, “and then we can get on with our lives.”
“I lied,” I said. “She’s yours, Shawn. Do the math. I’m almost thirty-six weeks. I just have four weeks to go. Count the months. She’s yours. When she gets here, you’ll see. She’s ours.”
“Whoa,” Terry said. “Congrats, man.”
He snarled. “You lied before. How do I know you’re not lying now?”
“Just…wait until I have her. You can see for yourself. She’ll look like you and me. She won’t look like Trex. She’s your daughter.”
Shawn looked down at my stomach, then put away his knife. “She’s mine?”
I nodded. I reached for his hands and flattened his palms against Maddie’s perfect dome. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I tightened my throat to keep from sobbing while Shawn fawned over my stomach, talking to Maddie with a soft voice I’d never heard from him.
He looked up at me, annoyed. “Why’d you lie to me?”
“I…was ashamed for leaving. I’m sorry I hurt you. I was just nervous, and I did something stupid. Then I was too ashamed to come back. I’ll…I’ll make it up to you.”
Shawn scanned my face, trying to decide if he wanted to believe me or not.
“Damn right you will.”
When the corners of his mouth curved up, I knew I’d bought Maddie and me a little more time.