Devon took a moment, to focus on Tally. He nodded once.
“You will help, too?”
“I’m not doing this alone. Everyone has to pitch in.”
“I’m not an accountant,” Ariel protested.
“But you’re part of this makeshift family, right? You can call around and get pricing on cement. Kat can call and ask about pipes and pumps for the waterfall. One of you can check with the city for building permits. Brad and Jed can help me stake out the pond. Rusty and Tomas can locate the rocks we’ll need for the waterfall. And all of you can help when it comes to digging the hole and pouring the cement.”
If they wanted family solidarity, he’d give it to them.
“And what about Tally, what does she have to do?” Kat asked petulantly.
“Tally and I will review the accounts for the ranch, make plans and designs she wants for improvements around here, create a schedule for implementing each project, begin listing building materials and estimate costs. When we get started, you can all help with that, too.”
Devon looked at the stunned faces and almost smiled. It was time they knew if they pushed him, he’d push back.
“And Brad, once we have things straightened out with Tally’s accounts, she ought to let you handle some of them while you’re here. That would give you a broader base for ranching.”
“‘And all experience is good’,” Ariel quoted.
“Have you done this type of thing for a ranch before?” Tally asked.
It sounded totally complex but thorough, contrasting sharply with her own haphazard way of just wading in and figuring things out as she went along.
“Not for a ranch. But this is project management, pure business, nothing else. We’ll apply the same rule to ranching as to other businesses. We get cost estimates, itemize plans, set schedules and deadlines. Then we’ll be ready to go. We’ll know how long it will take, what it’ll cost. No surprises along the way.”
Tally nodded, fascinated by this part of Devon. For the first time since his arrival, his tough-guy attitude eased. He seemed confident and assured. She felt the excitement around the table take hold. She could imagine him as he must have worked before, planning, scheduling, organizing. He probably had been tops in his field.
And he lost it all for the love of a woman.
She glanced around the table. The others were already talking back and forth with Devon, asking how to do the various tasks he listed, excitement sparking in each eye. This could be a godsend. She hoped it helped Devon as much as it would the rest of her charges.
He answered the questions that flew fast and furiously with a calm, even manner, treating each one as if it were important and meaningful. Nothing in his manner made the others feel ignorant or stupid. He could be a great teacher, she thought suddenly. Had he ever considered that? Of course with his record, that was impossible. But maybe in something like Fresh Start?
Over the next two days the activity around the house surprised Tally. Devon had the other guests organized better than she’d ever seen them. With cost estimates being tracked down and discussions about the schedule of the project, everyone joined in with suggestions and ideas. They compared estimates and argued about who still had work to finish to bring in their contribution.
Gus kept them busy outside. Mornings he assigned tasks to Devon, Jed and Brad—primarily help for the two cowboys. Afternoons Devon spent in the office, going through Tally’s accounts and working to get a handle on her financial situation.
Thursday at lunch Devon announced they were ready to start on the pond. He wanted Tally to approve the markers for the perimeter once he and Jed staked it out.
Devon placed the stakes where Tally had indicated she wanted the pond, holding them while Jed pounded them into the hard ground. Brad watched, but didn’t get in the way. Consulting Tally on the location of the waterfall and drainpipe, Devon then staked where the water piping and the electrical wiring would go. The ground had been baked hard in the late spring sun. When he was ready to begin, Devon sent Tally to find a pick and some shovels.
“Not today,” she said.
“Why not?”
“This is a momentous event. Like when we poured the foundation for the new barn. We need to celebrate.”
Her guests had had little to celebrate in their short lives. Tally wanted to expand their experiences, make major events out of commonplace things so they could see a difference in life.
“Tomorrow before Kat and Ariel leave, when the cowboys are still around, we’ll have a groundbreaking ceremony with everyone.”
“It’s a duck pond, Tally, not a new bridge or shopping center,” Devon said in exasperation.
“Still, it’s a new project for all of us and I want a ceremony.”
Devon stared at her for a long moment.
“Fine, you’re the boss. If we’re finished for the day, I’ll head for my room.”
He walked away without a backward glance.
Tally watched him go, feeling disappointed. They spent so little time together. He’d expected her in the office while he was working, but she told him to get things under control and then teach her how to maintain them. Her interest did not lie in office work.
He’d been surprised she trusted him with her accounts. But faith and trust were tenets of Fresh Start. Plus Tally felt confident about Devon. He was an honest, honorable man who had been caught up with the wrong woman.
“It’s hot, better to dig in the morning or late afternoon, anyway,” Jed said watching Devon walk away.
“Works for me,” Brad said ambling toward the barn.
“I think you’re right. Either of you want to share some lemonade on the porch?” Tally asked.
If she couldn’t be with Devon, why not one or both of the young men she was growing fond of.
“I want to go riding,” Brad said with a friendly salute.
“I’m all for sitting and doing nothing,” Jed said. He grinned self-consciously. “Uh, Tally, I didn’t tell you the other night, but you look pretty with your short hair.”
“Why, Jed, thank you. You’ve made my day!”
She beamed at the young man, touched he’d delivered such a nice compliment.
“As soon as I get the lemonade, we’ll sit and talk,” she said brightly.
Tally went to the kitchen for the lemonade. She knew Alberta kept an icy pitcher in the refrigerator.
Glancing at the closed door to Devon’s room, Tally wondered what he was doing? He spent a lot of time in his room. When everyone gathered to watch TV or play games in the evenings, he would excuse himself and retire to his room.
Had he always been such a loner, she wondered? Or had that changed with his recent past? She wished she felt comfortable enough around him to ask why he spent so much time alone. Maybe one day she’d gather the courage.
The hot spell continued into the next day. When Tally rose she donned a pair of denim shorts and a cool top. She’d been wearing the skimpy tops Kat had chosen for her for several days now and liked them. Today was the first day for shorts. But if she was to be shoveling dirt, it would be hot work. She needed to keep cool, didn’t she?
Leaving her glasses on the nightstand, she made her way downstairs. Everything at a distance was slightly blurry, but she could see clearly close-up and she didn’t need the aggravation of them sliding off her nose as they worked.
They began work on the pond immediately after breakfast. Tally had a camera and took pictures of all her guests, of the ranch hands and Gus and Alberta. The older woman insisted on taking a group picture with Tally in the center.
Tally ceremoniously handed Devon the pick and Jed and Brad each a shovel.
“I declare the new pond officially started.”
“Don’t you want to take the first swing?” Devon asked sardonically.
She grinned, hoping the excitement that sizzled was attributed to the festivity of the morning.
“No, thank you. That honor is all yours.”
He nodded, swung the pick over his head and slammed it down onto the ground. A small wedge of dirt broke apart.
Everyone cheered. The project was officially launched.
Within a few short minutes only Tally, Devon and Jed remained.
“Looks like we’re the work crew for today,” Tally said.
“Everyone gets a turn,” Devon said, hefting the pick again. “The others are scheduled for the evenings or on the weekend.”
Tally watched, enjoying the soothing rhythm as Devon raised the pick over his head, then swung it down smashing it into the hard earth, loosening clods of dirt. The ground broke up, spread, until there was a layer of dirt ready for the shovel. His muscles rippled beneath his skin, straining with effort to break up the hard ground. She watched, fascinated, as his body moved rhythmically, easily.
Jed stepped in and scooped up the dirt on his shovel, dumping it into a wheelbarrow. Once it was full, he headed for the corrals. Devon planned for the dirt to be spread there.
Around ten, Tally went inside to get cold drinks. As soon as she left, Devon leaned on the pick, resting. He’d been trying to ignore Tally’s presence all morning, but during the last few minutes, he had lost that ability, had been intensely conscious of her eyes on him. He stretched and tried to loosen his muscles. He could feel the exertion already, and knew he’d be sore tomorrow. Last week it had been from riding. Now from this. He began to wonder if his body would ever feel normal again.
But it felt good to be doing something physical, it helped work off his anger and let him forget.
Of course being around Tally sometimes had him forgetting in a totally different way. And that was dangerous.
The sun shone hot overhead and the skimpy top and shorts she wore weren’t making Devon cooler. He pulled his shirt over his head and mopped his forehead. Tossing the shirt aside, he grabbed the pick and started again. Maybe he could work until he was exhausted and sleep the night without fantasizing about the woman.
Tally interrupted a few moments later with a large glass of icy lemonade.
“How’re you doing?” she asked, her gaze running over his shoulders, down his chest.
From the look in her eyes, Devon felt ten feet tall. She looked as if she could eat him up.
Heady sensations rushed through him as he reached for the glass. What would it be like to have her hands touch him? To have her fingers brush along his skin, teasing, tormenting?
He drank the cold beverage quickly, averting his eyes from the hungry look in hers. She was driving him crazy.
“The ground’s harder than I thought.” Devon said, mopping the sweat from his face. Taking a final swallow of the lemonade, he looked at her. “Want a turn?”
She wrinkled her nose.
“Now that I see how hard it is, I don’t think so.”
“Smart lady.”
He handed her his glass. Their fingers brushed lightly and Tally felt a tingle where he’d touched her. Devon didn’t appear to notice.
Tally stepped back, watching him as he worked. He talked softly with Jed, explaining what he thought about the pond, about the hole they were digging.
The play of muscles under his skin as his arms rose and fell was enticing. Tally ignored his quiet voice as she feasted her eyes on him. She longed to run her fingers along his shoulders, against his chest, to feel the play of muscles beneath her fingertips, to run her hands all over his trim, hard body.
Licking suddenly dry lips, Tally wondered how it would feel to have his lips against hers in a deep kiss, with his hot skin beneath her hands, against her body as he drew her to him? Her hands ached to feel the muscles of his back move beneath them, her breasts tingled in yearning and desire.
Devon had shown no interest in her, only a brief caress against her cheek when his friends had left. For heaven’s sake, she chided herself, he’d been without a woman for over three years, if he had the slightest interest, he’d have made some move by now.
The next time Jed took a wheelbarrow full of dirt toward the barn, Devon ran his eyes down Tally’s lithe body. Why was she hanging around? Didn’t she have a clue how hard she made things? He grimaced at his pun and slammed the pick back into the dirt. His lips drew into a line of strong disapproval, and he turned slightly away from her lest she see the evidence of his body’s growing reaction to her proximity.
“I don’t want to dig in this heat, but I want to contribute something. Is there anything I can do?” Tally asked.
“The only thing you’ll contribute is a distraction in those indecent shorts,” he remarked.
“It’s hot today. I want to be cool,” she replied, startled at first, then unexpectedly excited by the look on his face. So her attire disturbed him?
“I want to be cool, too, but I won’t be, watching you in those shorts.”
Tally gave a soft gurgle of laughter.
“Then don’t look,” she said provocatively.
He ignored her, lifting the pick to slam it into the hard ground, loosening soil, raising it again. His muscles strained to the work, his rhythm smooth and steady.
He lifted the pick again. Maybe he could exhaust himself and forget about Tally and her trim little body—her trim sexy body. He slammed the pick into the ground again and swallowed as he shifted slightly so he couldn’t see her from the corner of his eye. Not that he needed her there to see her. His mind had captured every aspect of the woman, and delighted in recalling each detail.
Within the confines of his own personal goals he would try to make this program work. But she was playing with fire. If she didn’t watch out, he’d throw her on the hot ground and show her what wearing sexy skimpy clothes did to a man. She was bright, endearing and sexy as hell—and either was the most innocent woman he’d ever met or one who played a deep, dangerous flirtatious game.
“Tally, where’s Jed? It’s his turn to help with shopping and I’m almost ready to go,” Alberta called.
Jed appeared from behind the barn. Slowly he brought the wheelbarrow back to the pond site.
“Guess I have to do that, huh?”
Tally smiled. “Sure do, buster. Shop fast so you can get back to this.”
“At least it’ll be air-conditioned in the store,” he mumbled as he picked up his shirt. “I’ll have to change before we leave.”
He waved to Devon and headed for the bunkhouse, calling to Alberta that he’d be ready in just a few minutes.
“How about if I put the dirt in the wheelbarrow and move it?” Tally asked. “We just can’t leave it here to pile up for Jed’s return.”
“If you think you’re up to it,” Devon said without looking at her.
The last thing he wanted was her hanging around. Why couldn’t she have gone with Alberta to shop and left Jed with him?
She moved the empty wheelbarrow close to the loosened dirt and pushed the shovel into it.
He stepped back. She was too close. He could smell her light scent, almost feel the warmth from her body.
Tally lifted a shovelful of dirt and dumped it into the wheelbarrow. Devon watched her arms strain beneath the weight. Watched as she swiveled around to drop it in the wheelbarrow. Leaning over to get another scoopful, her rounded derriere pressed against her shorts. He could almost feel the softness against his hands. He tightened his grip on the pick. He was going to go crazy standing here watching her flaunt her sexy body around him.
He wiped the sweat from his forehead and looked away, then back when he heard a soft sound. She tried to move the wheelbarrow, but it was too heavy.
“I’ll do it.”
Careful not to touch her, he took the weight and tilted the cart, pushing it up the slight incline.
“You’d never manage it this full. Next time don’t put so much in at once,” he instructed.
“Right.”
She didn’t mind watching him as he walked away. The expanse of muscles in his back was just as enticing as the front view.
As the day grew warmer, Tally’s enthusiasm waned. She stopped for a rest, watching Devon take over the dirt removal as if the temperature had not climbed to such a high degree.
Devon’s skin took on a shimmery bronze tint. Every once in a while when he leaned over, she caught a glimpse of a startling strip of white flesh just below the edge of his jeans. Each time, Tally had to take a deep breath, force her thoughts elsewhere, force herself to keep her fingers from reaching out and touching that tantalizing strip of skin.
They ate lunch alone in the cool kitchen. Alberta and Jed had not returned and the rest of the crew was scattered.
“We need to take a break after lunch,” Tally said as she placed their sandwiches and drinks on the table. “It’s too hot out there for such hard work.”
Devon glanced up at her, then looked back at the food.
“Good idea. I’ve got some things to do.”
“Not another walk.”
“No, I’m getting more than enough exercise working around this place.”
“So no more walks? Major will be disappointed.”
He hesitated and looked at her. “I still like walking—it gives me time to think.”
“About what?”
“This and that,” he said vaguely, taking the iced tea and tipping the glass, pouring the cool beverage down his throat.
Tally watched the muscles of his throat work as he swallowed the drink. She looked away, her hands held tightly in her lap.
To think, he’d said. About what? What the future must hold? When his friends had visited, he’d told her to ask if she wanted to know anything. Dare she?
Tracing patterns on the glass’s condensation, she glanced up at him from beneath her lashes.
“Accessory doesn’t seem to fit what you did. You didn’t participate in the embezzlement. You didn’t take any of the money. Why did you get time in prison?” she asked quickly before she lost her nerve.
He looked startled, then wary.
“The original charge was accessory because Sheila embezzled money after the time I discovered it. Since I did nothing to stop her once I discovered the crime, I was charged with being an accessory. It was reduced to ‘after-fact’ when I pleaded guilty and repaid the difference in the money from what she took and what they recovered from her. The judge in the case was very much against white collar crime, convinced most perpetrators got off with only a slap on the wrist. He made an example out of us. I received a thirty-month sentence after already spending six months in jail pending trial. Sheila got ten years.”
Tally blinked, trying to imagine how it would be to know you were being locked up for a decade. Wryly she felt almost a hint of sympathy. She’d felt like a prisoner for much longer. All the long lonely years she’d had to care for her father had been like prison. Only her art classes and work with Jimmie May gave her a glimpse of how a normal life could be.
She wished she had been strong enough to leave her father when she’d been younger. Regrets and rage had flooded when she’d first discovered her father’s perfidy about the ranch. But the past could not be changed, she’d learned from it and moved on. Today she was her own woman, independence hard-won, but cherished because of the past.
Devon helped with the dishes without a word. Once finished, he headed for his room.
“I’ll start up again around four,” he said before closing the door firmly behind him, shutting Tally out.
She refilled her glass with iced tea and went to sit in the swing on the shady porch. There was no denying she was attracted to Devon Henderson. She liked to watch him, listen to him talk. Wished she knew more about him. She sighed and took a sip, starting the swing moving. Even though he didn’t think so, the next three months would pass swiftly. He had most of his life ahead of him. How he’d laugh if he thought she entertained fantasies of figuring in that life. She’d treat him as the others, then wave farewell with a smile on her face.
Her heart constricted at the thought. She didn’t want to wave goodbye, she wanted him to stay. Suddenly a thought struck her. She couldn’t be falling in love with Devon Henderson.
She closed her eyes briefly and took another long sip of the cold tea.
It was absurd. He was a guest, just like Jed or Brad or the others that had stayed at the ranch. Besides, he didn’t see her in any romantic light. There were too many obstacles to overcome to make any relationship between them possible. Their separate life-styles were vastly different. She had lived a cloistered existence with her ailing father. Once on her own, instead of remaining in the city and making friends, she’d moved to the country and surrounded herself with society’s misfits. She didn’t feel like a crusader, but she was determined to make a difference—because of Bobby. In memory of her brother.
She didn’t know how long she sat, but her tea was long gone when she finally moved. Bored with sitting, wanting to get away from her thoughts, Tally wandered behind the barn. Eyeing the pile of dirt dumped by endless wheelbarrow trips, she grabbed a rake and began spreading the piles across the corral, glad for the activity.
The horses dozing in the afternoon sun watched her. One chestnut ambled over to be petted, interfering with her work, but she didn’t mind. He wanted attention, like she did. She was glad to give it to him, wishing Devon would give her some attention.
As she pushed the dirt around, she wondered again what would it be like to be loved so strongly that a man would lie for you, cover a crime, give you a second chance when you didn’t deserve it. Tally was jealous of Sheila. Jealous and angry. How could the woman throw all that away?
After dinner, Tally excused herself early to soak in a hot bath. She was bone weary and longed for bed. Through the open window she heard the others still working on the pond. It was a good project, one that had her small group working together, pulling together just like a family should do. It gave them experience in cooperation and teamwork. In sharing a common goal, and working together to achieve it.
She climbed into bed too tired to even read. But not too tired to think. Again she wondered what Devon did holed up in his room. He spent a lot of time there, yet she never heard the radio. Did he read? Or brood?
She awoke sometime later with a crick in her neck and a raging thirst. Focusing on her clock, she saw it was one-thirty. It felt closer to dawn. Sighing, she threw off the sheet, grabbed her robe and padded softly down the stairs moving quietly into the kitchen. The house was silent. The light from the moon spilled in through the window, illuminating the room sufficiently for Tally to find a glass and draw water.
Greedily she drank, quenching her thirst. She placed the glass quietly on the sink, trying to keep from making noise. She didn’t want to wake Devon.
She heard a scrape outside. Before she could investigate, the back door flew open.
Devon clicked on the overhead light and stared in startled surprise at Tally standing in the middle of the kitchen wearing a short pale-peach cotton robe, her hair tousled around her face.
“Wow, you scared me half to death,” she said, hand over her pounding heart. “I thought you were in bed. I didn’t know you were still out. Didn’t Gus lock up?”
“Guess he thought you would. You went to bed early.”
“Digging’s tiring. Why are you still up?”
“I went for a walk.”
Devon shut the door and let his gaze wander slowly down Tally’s slim frame. The pale-peach color of the robe enhanced her soft skin tone, his look raised a flush to her cheeks, making her eyes seem bluer. The robe hid most of her curves, but he remembered from her skimpy attire that afternoon. Her legs were shapely beneath the short hem. She looked soft and warm and sleepy. And sexy enough to entice half the male population in California.
Devon’s gaze moved back to her face.
“I came for water.”
She motioned to the glass on the counter, anxious to break the silence, afraid he’d hear her frantic heartbeats, know what havoc his look caused.
He was so tall, she had to tilt her head back when he stepped closer. His eyes softened to silver and his mouth lifted into the lopsided half smile he wore when he was relaxed. Why didn’t he say something?
He took another step closer and gently reached out a finger, slowly tracing her cheek, her jaw, down her throat to the neck of her robe. His finger left a trail of fire beneath her skin, dragging the breath from her, causing her to desperately draw air in through parted lips.
Tally swayed toward Devon, drawn to him as she’d been ever since they first met. She forgot the reason he was here, forgot his distrust of women. She knew only the longing and desire a woman had for one particular man. Her body yearned for his touch, for the feel of him against her, her mouth longed for his taste, for the passion that would waken dormant needs.
He moved to meet her, slowly, lowering his head until his warm lips touched Tally’s, touched and captured. Before she could take a breath, he reached around her to draw her up against him, his mouth hot, tantalizing. His lips moved, exerting a compelling pressure and opened her, tasting the sweetness within, testing her resistance as he moved against her lips, delving into the moist warmth she made available.
His body was hard and hot against the delicate caress of her gown, contrasting with the softness of hers as he molded her along his length, pressing her hips into his, her breasts against the strong muscles of his chest. Her temperature soared where they touched, building a fiery intensity.
Tally forgot where she was, what she had been doing. She could only feel: Devon’s mouth against hers, his hands on her back, the solid sensation of his body.
Her fingers threaded into the thickness of his hair, tracked the strong column of his neck, the wide expanse of his strong shoulders even as his hands held her so tightly against him she could scarcely breathe. Greedily she reveled in the feel of him. The warmth of his body seemed to melt through her robe and gown, warming her, matching the heat building within. His muscles felt iron hard, pressed against her as if to impress their image permanently against her skin, hot and strong.
She tightened her arms, her fingers restlessly searching to discover more, feeling the slight rasp of his beard against her hand, the thick hair he wore too long, the strong pulse at the side of his neck, the contours and shape of his shoulder muscles, his biceps.
The world spun and tilted, a kaleidoscope of colors exploded behind her closed lids. Devon’s scent filled her nostrils as she gulped in air, trying to breathe. If time stopped at this instant, she would only regret the ending of this kiss.
After an endless, wonderful, timeless moment, Devon stiffened, slowly withdrawing, pulling her arms from around his neck, stepping back.
Tally didn’t want the kiss to end, but he drew away. She opened her eyes to focus on his face. His expression was remote. She shivered slightly as the cool night air swirled around her heated body.
“I’m sorry, Tally. I shouldn’t have done that. Blame it on the fact I haven’t had a woman in years. It won’t happen again.”
The moment of bright delight, of glorious happiness and fleeting dreams shattered.
Scared her voice might tremble and give her away, she shook her head. With tremendous effort, she turned the corners of her mouth into a travesty of a smile and turned to leave, blinded by the tears that suddenly filled her eyes.
“Good night,” she managed to murmur.
With head held high, she made it to the stairs. Once beyond his sight, her control slipped. Her knees gave beneath her and she sank onto the steps, tears spilling down her cheeks. The ache in her breast felt as fierce as the delight she’d experienced only moments ago. She caught her lower lip between her teeth, refusing to make a sound until she reached the privacy of her own room.
Dragging herself up the stairs, she longed for oblivion. Once in her room, she carefully closed the door before throwing herself on the bed, burying her face in her pillows to muffle her weeping.
He’d only kissed her because he hadn’t had a woman in years. Not because she was anyone special. Not because he liked her haircut or her new clothes. Not for herself. For one fleeting, wonderful, magical moment, Tally had imagined he wanted to kiss her. That he had not been able to help himself.
But he’d shattered that fleeting dream. She was female, available, and he hadn’t had a woman in years.
The hot flush of embarrassment burned through her. How would she face him in the morning? What if he said something to the others? What if everyone in the place soon knew she had thrown herself at him and lured him into kissing her? And that he’d complied not because he wanted her, but because he’d been without a woman for so long anyone would have done in a pinch.
Tears spent, she slipped beneath the covers and tried to sleep. Staring into the darkness, she had a few short hours to decide how she would handle things in the morning. It wasn’t the worst thing that had ever happened to her. But for a few seconds, it sure felt like it. Slowly she drifted to sleep, deep down reliving the glorious kiss, the delight and enchantment it had brought, for however brief a moment
Devon Henderson was undoubtedly the sexiest, most desirable man she’d ever known. And for one wonderful moment, he had made her feel special.
Devon lay on his bed in the dark calling himself every name in the book. Clenching and unclenching his teeth until his jaw ached, he tried to forget the armful of sweet femininity he’d held. Tally was so pretty in a fresh wholesome way that he hadn’t seen when he was living in the city. She displayed no artifice, no silly games to offer what really wasn’t there.
With her hair tousled around her face and her eyes drowsy with sleep, she’d been as pretty as the dawn. Her cheeks had been flushed, rosy and sweet. He longed to see that soft spill of hair on his pillow, her eyes filled with yearning for him alone.
Darn it, thinking about her wasn’t helping. He should be taking a cold shower or another walk.
He clenched his fists. He had nothing to offer a woman. He wasn’t even a free man for another three months.
And he’d learned his lesson well—never trust a woman.
But it didn’t stop the wanting.
And he wanted Tally. Wanted to strip the soft lacy nightgown from her body and see her naked on his bed, waiting for his touch. He wanted more kisses that seared his soul. Wanted to find something to hold on to in the dark of midnight. He wanted her to ache for him as he ached for her, to reach for him—
He had to stop or he’d go crazy. He didn’t need any complications. He’d set his course and he’d stick to it. Alone.